You push the button.

Ding.

The logs are gone, replaced with what is apparently the entire stuffed toy aisle at Toys R Us. Wait, that doesn’t exist any more. No, looks like it does. Huh, who knew.

Anyways, yes.

Toys.

This, of course, is only some of them. In total, there are around two hundred plushies in this room.

What will you do with them?

You like things to be organized.

So the first thing you do is separate the pile by size, and then the size piles by color. It takes you quite some time to do this, but you enjoy it. The plushies are nice and soft, and they smell like dryer sheets.

All in all you enjoy your time doing this.

You kick them a bit, pushing them into a slightly taller pile.

And then you dive in.

It feels like getting a hug from, well, a bunch of plushies. It’s wonderful. You turn until you’re facing up, laying back on the plushies as a few of the bigger ones cover you.

You close your eyes, and doze off.

Your nap isn’t long. It lasts about fifteen minutes, after which you wake up, feeling refreshed. Your dreams were pleasant ones.

When you fell asleep I snuck out for a latte, so I have one of those now!

It takes a couple more minutes for you to move, slowly extracting yourself from the pile.

That was quite enjoyable.

What next?

You have decided to name each and every one of them!

You pick up the first plushie, a pink dog, and decide this is a Jenny. Yes.

The next one you pick up is a yellow duck. It is named Samson.

After that you pick up a large blue-grey elephant and, my level of caring having been passed, I turn off the button and go get a latte.

When I get back you’re about halfway done, deciding on the name of a royal blue teddy bear.

I still don’t care, so I start up a game of Among Us. At the end of the game you’ve still got thirty or so to get through, so I start another game. The boss happens to be away from the office, so my co-worker joins me.

My co-worker was the Impostor. Somehow I was the first person ejected. But, being a ghost, I was able to follow Max around and warn… Maybe I shouldn’t be talking about this here. There’s always the chance that my boss will read this…

So! Yes! You finally finished naming all the plushies.

Can we get on with our lives now? Please?

You are the type of person who enjoys setting up scenes with plushies. There’s no shame in it, I do it myself. It’s quite fun.

What will you do with them?

Ah, the good ol’ classic.

You pick out a few of the pinkest, girliest ones, and set them up around a… Well, you don’t really have any props, so you go through the plushies until you find a moon cake plushie.

One of these moon cakes:

Not one of these Mooncakes:

Just to be clear.

Yeah, that works quite well as a table. You set up the previously chosen plushies around it, and consider your job done.

You look through the pile, and find several plushies that are neon colors. And a couple black ones.

Then you take them to a corner and prop them up as best you can, setting them in party positions.

One orange and black teddy bear is using one of those reversible octopuses that seem to be everywhere as a DJ table. Octopi, whatever. The ones that have a smile side and a frown or angry side. You know what I’m talking about, right? Right.

All you’re lacking for the party is strobe lights.

Watch, the next room will have strobe lights in it.

Honestly, at this point this is also a traditional scene. People seem to enjoy the juxtaposition of soft, cuddly plushies and MURDER.

You find a couple fairly boring looking plushies, and set them up around a clown teddy bear. You tear open the center seam of the teddy bear, pulling out some of the stuffing. It takes you a while to get the seam open, but with determination and teeth you manage it.

Not gonna lie, this looks pretty cool.

For your last scene, you take about fifty of the plushies, and arrange them in a spiral around the button. All facing the button.

It takes you a while, carefully adjusting each one and tip-toeing around them, but it’s well worth the time and effort.

Any that you can position with their arms in the air, you do. If they can be put in a bowing position, you make them bow. And, of course, any with heads that can be rotated backwards, you rotate them backwards.

It’s times like this that I wish I had a camera.

It looks epic. Well done.

Having enjoyed your time with the plushies, it is time to move on.

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No