You push the button.

Ding.

The table is magically back! This time, with breakfast!

Muffins! Bacon! Granola! Silverware scattered helter-skelter all over the place!

What more could you want?

Well, lots of things, honestly. Lots of things you probably aren’t going to get any time soon.

But for the moment, this food is here. It is nice and hot, fresh and delicious.

You dig in.

Breakfast is an interesting meal. Everyone agrees that it’s important, but cultures around the world think different things about it are important. For instance, on the coast of Ecuador a soup made out of onions and albacore is a typical breakfast. Most people not on the coast of Ecuador would think that fish onion soup should very much not be a part of breakfast.

But then we get to specific ingredients. Should beans be a part of breakfast? Tomatoes? Berries? How about chocolate? Or cornflakes?

What you typically eat for breakfast, and what you’d find horrifying to eat at breakfast, really depends on your culture and how you grew up. Humanity is quite diverse in this regard, more so than with the other meals of the day, I think.

This breakfast is, to you, quite enjoyable.

When you’re done, you… What are you doing?

You take a knife, and carve your initials into the table.

...Well, you do you. No judgement here.

And then you pick up a couple forks and head to the button.

Why?

You sit down on the ground next to the button, examining it closely. It’s red, has a silver aluminum casing, and smells like “Crisp Waters”.

You put two fingers on it and slowly spin it around.

Yep, it spins. Not particularly easily, but it does spin. It’s not going to unscrew, if that’s what you’re trying to do.

You ignore me.You try to fit a tine of the fork between the button and the casing. It fits, but just barely.

Are you trying to pry the button out? Because that won’t work. It’s been tried before. Although not, I’ll admit, with a fork.

You continue to ignore me, and press down on the button.

And then you jam the fork in there, keeping the button down.

Uhhhhhh

Yep, you, erm, you managed to keep it down, all right! Yes, that button is, in fact, down!

Why do you- Why are you keeping it down? Is there- Excuse me a moment.

Well done.

Sorry about that. Huh, there’s a weird blip on my transcript now. Oh well, not important.

So, yes, button, being held down.

Why? Do you have an ultimate goal in holding the button down?

I mean, it doesn’t bother me much, but you won’t get out of this room until you release the button. And while I get paid by the hour, so go ahead and stay in there all day if you want, you might get pretty bored.

I’ll just pull up Among Us and play a couple rounds until you decide that this room is, once you’ve eaten the rest of the food, really not the greatest place to be.

You’re really going to just leave the button down?

Yes?

Ok then. Have fun, I guess?

To: Big Boss Chris, IT Desk 3 From: Testing Room Beta Subject: What do?

Sooooo they’ve jammed the button down with a fork. And it doesn’t look like they’re going to remove it any time soon.

The room cycler went insane, so I set up the next room manually. Anything else I should do?

To: Testing Room Beta, IT Desk 3 From: Big Boss Chris Subject: Re: What do?

Wait it out. If they stay in the same room longer than seven hours and sixteen minutes you’ll be the proud owner of a new record.

Unless Max has something to add?

To: Testing Room Beta, Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Re: Re: What do?

No, the cycler is the main thing. Let me know if they stay in longer than three hours; I’ll turn on the ventilation so they don’t suffocate or anything.

To: Big Boss Chris, IT Desk 3 From: Testing Room Beta Subject: Re: Re: Re: What do?

Thanks, will do!

Oh, Max, there was an odd thing in the transcript when I fixed the cycler. Take a look at it and see if anything’s broken?

To: Testing Room Beta, Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Re: Re: What do?

On it.

Still there? Yep, you’re still there. You’re polishing off the strawberries.

Are they good strawberries?

Glad to hear it.

You shove the dishes aside, and start carving drawings into the table with a knife.

Quite artistic, you are. A butter knife isn’t the best thing for carving, but the plastic of the table is fairly soft, so it’s not too hard.

At two hours in, you’ve finished off the coffee and orange juice. There’s still food, tho.

At two and a half hours you become super bored. Thing is, you aren’t even waiting for something to happen. You’re literally just sitting there for the sake of sitting there.

You look like you really want to stay, to remain stubborn and never leave the room, but tedium wins out.

You…

You pull your chair to the center of the room, get on it, and yank the light out of the ceiling.

Oooooookay?

And then you get down and pull the fork out of the button.

Ding.