You land in a dry room. A nice, warm, dry room.

One with no water in it, and a working light in the ceiling.

The table is back! This time it has soup on it! Nice, hot soup.

There’s also a chair, so you can sit there, with your back to the button, and eat. Get warm.

Fun fact, this room is five degrees warmer than the average room.

...Granted, there is that ice room that drags the average down, but we won’t talk about that.

Which soup will you go for first?

WAIT no, this is one of those “Mexican” soups dreamed up by Americans from Michigan or somewhere, isn’t it? Someone whose only exposure to Spanish was Taco Bell advertisements. Because those yellow things look like bell peppers. And with cilantro on top? Yeah, this is some gringo’s idea of a Mexican soup. All it lacks is canned sweet corn.

Wow, apparently I’m really bad at identifying healthy soups.

On the basis that I don’t see anything else that looks like chowder, I’m gonna say that this here is a chowder. Those white blobs don’t quite look like clams, but who knows. I’ll say they are, and move on.

Usually lentil soup doesn’t have tomatoes in it, and otherwise this looks like chilli to me. So I’m going to presume that to make it healthier the person swapped out regular beans with lentils.

I mean, I’d try it. I’ve certainly seen worse food options here.

Yeah, come on, that’s curry. It’s way too thick and yellow to be regular soup.

And hey, I love curry! I’d prefer it with rice, but can’t have everything. Especially if they’re trying to pass it off as a soup.

I can tell this is potato soup by the amount of butter they have floating on top.

Just like my mom makes it!

This is probably the least healthy option here, but if it’s nice and hot and you’re still cold, this will fix what ails ya.

This is one of those things that has a very specific name. One that seemingly has no relation to what it actually is.

Like, we’ve got our cream of mushroom, and our chicken noodle, which leave no doubt in someone’s mind about what it is. And then you find things in the soup can aisle called mulligatawny or sancocho that give zero clues about what it contains. And that’s not just things in different languages, like tom yam or petite marmite, which might very well explain what it is, if only you spoke those languages.

So yeah, this one is undoubtedly healthy. If only I knew what it was called.

I’m gonna say it’s asparagus. It looks a bit too light to be spinach, and those are the only really green things that I know are made into soups.

It’s got sunflower seeds on top, for texture.

Altho, it might be cream of pistachio. Who knows. Try it and find out!

I’d try this. I’m not an expert on East-Asian dishes, so I’m not even going to hazard a guess about where it comes from, but it looks good.

I think I would need a spoon, though. I’m not expert enough with chopsticks to be able to eat that whole thing with them. I mean, I could certainly try, and probably get most of it, but I would appreciate one of those flat-bottomed porcelain spoons.

It looks like potato soup, without butter or any other oil.

Which, while undoubtedly healthier, isn’t nearly as good.

Pass.

...Something. Carrot? Sweet potato? Squash? Some mixture of the three? I don’t know.

Personally, I like eating my creams with popcorn, but if you prefer plucking a random weed out of your garden and eating it with that, you do you. No judgement here.

(I’m totally judging you.)

Those tomatoes look raw, which is interesting. I suppose it would give the soup a different texture, to dump in diced tomato at the last moment. I might try that, actually…

I will say this for this assortment of soups, there are plenty of vegetarian and vegan-looking soups. So basically any dietary restriction you might have, you’ll be able to eat at least two of these soups.

Looks like beef to me. For some reason I associate carrots in soup with beef.

This looks like a good soup. Not as full of stuff like those bean things, but still very filling. I’d eat it.

Ok, sure, it’s probably supposed to be parmesan or something, but it sure looks like candle wax to me.

Something deep inside is telling me this is Italian. Not sure why. I just feel like I should recognize this soup, and a faint memory is screaming Italy at me.

Weird.

This one certainly looks healthy!

It also looks like something I would only eat if there were no other options. Not that it looks bad, I quite enjoy spinach, really, but this just looks… I think it’s the chickpeas.

It looks like something I could take all the ingredients for, and make something better with. Yeah.

Pass.

At first glance, I thought it was a cream. Of pumpkin or something.

And then I saw the chunks of (I presume) chicken, and decided it had to be a curry.

And then I saw it has a couple pieces of rosemary in it, and I don’t think rosemary is a traditionally Indian spice. So not curry.

Honestly, it looks cold and congealed. I’d like to take one bite of this, just to figure out what the hell it is, and then push it aside for something better.

FINALLY! Something I can recognize instantly!

And this isn’t that canned crap, no, this here is homemade!

A nice, good ol’ traditional chicken noodle soup.

...Honestly, I don’t like chicken noodle soup. The only way I’ll eat it is with like two tablespoons of sriracha mixed in.

You can tell, because it has pumpkin seeds in it.

I like cream of pumpkin soup. I make it on occasion, and eat it with popcorn.Because that is the superior way of eating creams.

I don’t see any pepper or other spices in this soup, tho, meaning it’s probably a bit bland. Like, the other creams, you can see tiny variations in color there, meaning they’ve got pepper and various leaves blended in. No variations here. It’s solid orange.

If I tried this, I’d probably be disappointed, to tell the truth.

You eat, slowly warming up and drying off as you do so.

The food is good. The room is warm.

Do you still hate me?

Well, it’s getting late, and the next room is a place you can sleep. So go ahead and push the button.

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No