You press the button.

Ding!

Huh, the ding was especially happy that time. Weird how random sounds can sound like they have emotion.

Anyways, the bathroom is gone (thank goodness), and instead the wall in front of you is lined with shelves. On these shelves are 994 twenty sided dice.

Apparently they were going for an even thousand, but then an intern took a couple for a D&D game, and I have a note here about one of the dies being the “chosen one” while another one is in “dice jail”, one is stuck at the bottom of a vent, one was yeeted out a window for failing him, one was “borrowed” by a fellow player, and one of them looked so cool that the DM is going to keep it for his personal collection.

I don’t understand most of those words. I mean, the actual words I understand, but not their meaning. Or, well, you know what I mean.

What will you do with all these dice?

What to do with nine hundred and ninety four perfectly balanced dice? Perfectly balance them, of course!

On on top of the other, that's right. You take each and every one of those math rocks off its shelf and stack them, as high as you can reach.

This. Takes. Hours. Oh Lord I am so bored.

I got so bored, in fact, that I turned off the button, turned off the monitor, and played a few rounds of Among Us. Because there was nothing better for me to do. I went and got another latte. I worried about you dying of dehydration. I read a book.

Finally, finally you finished. You placed the last die on the last tower, and saw that it was good. Clouds parted, angels sang, and peace descended on the world for a few brief seconds.

And then you sneezed.

Like a row of dominoes, the dice towers all fell. The noise was horrible. The emotional scars will remain for decades.

You sighed, bent over, and started ov-

NO! You have spent enough time on the dice! No more dice towers! Anything but that! I beg of you!

You... drop the die.

Thank you.

Now what?

First thing first, you knock them all onto the floor. The numbers they land on are:

*ahem*

18 20 15 7 6 5 2 18 13 15 9 18 16 4 10 14 12 3 8 16 8 13 4 18 18 4 7 1 5 9 11 4 11 20 18 1 10 15 3 19 18 15 18 2 15 12 1 4 2 4 8 5 19 15 7 18 1 13 3 6 6 15 4 5 1 14 3 6 16 13 15 17 10 12 3 3 10 11 1 13 3 14 12 2 19 11 11 9 4 8 18 12 11 7 4 11 4 10 19 6 2 12 17 11 2 13 3 11 15 19 6 17 16 13 14 14 2 17 12 18 12 15 4 12 11 11 4 7 14 20 8 17 9 11 13 16 1 9 16 8 10 1 3 10 10 10 11 15 4 6 14 9 20 10 9 13 12 1 18 15 12 14 14 16 8 13 15 1 15 11 14 7 1 15 3 4 11 10 2 2 20 17 2 7 6 6 10 4 9 3 5 1 3 10 18 17 9 16 16 16 9 14 20 14 16 16 5 10 9 2 9 1 13 17 9 16 8 1 16 15 3 8 10 1 11 14 16 9 7 10 20 20 6 7 17 2 11 2 5 18 16 3 20 5 17 3 14 9 18 12 20 20 4 17 7 16 18 19 13 11 3 14 5 6 5 15 18 14 7 11 3 16 8 4 6 13 6 16 20 11 2 6 2 7 16 4 7 1 4 6 3 18 5 13 6 7 11 13 16 5 5 17 19 13 3 7 11 15 7 8 7 20 11 18 14 19 13 11 20 6 2 1 12 2 9 17 2 9 3 4 2 12 5 9 3 18 20 18 4 19 19 10 15 11 8 15 6 13 6 3 9 17 19 19 16 8 17 19 16 15 3 8 5 16 16 6 17 20 9 4 15 15 5 5 13 1 3 19 10 18 16 9 8 3 15 16 7 13 3 18 15 18 15 8 6 9 9 16 10 8 11 10 20 10 15 19 18 18 7 8 7 5 7 10 16 13 10 4 11 9 17 12 4 10 10 16 12 20 18 5 12 9 20 7 1 12 5 7 14 17 20 13 15 2 2 20 17 16 18 19 17 14 17 1 5 2 15 20 2 1 14 5 9 12 15 4 8 9 4 14 6 1 20 2 13 13 10 6 53 2 1 18 11 2 9 15 13 1 19 2 6 1 2 16 14 2 10 15 8 9 8 6 19 5 20 16 13 4 4 2 15 7 4 2 12 14 2 7 7 12 10 3 18 7 10 7 8 10 20 18 11 5 20 17 14 16 11 10 10 8 4 5 11 4 7 7 10 19 5 14 12 9 19 11 8 17 18 12 11 18 7 15 13 13 19 10 14 8 1 16 1 11 13 5 18 5 16 4 4 4 6 13 19 20 2 20 8 4 18 16 18 7 5 13 11 3 2 6 13 2 1 10 16 19 11 16 1 9 1 5 20 16 14 20 19 5 5 14 2 16 8 4 17 16 6 2 10 14 15 16 20 7 19 11 10 1 1 16 14 9 16 6 13 9 18 11 20 16 5 4 15 8 14 1 7 11 13 15 2 4 14 2 2 20 16 12 4 3 15 5 8 10 1 18 2 8 18 8 20 8 8 7 17 20 14 18 18 5 16 7 6 16 19 19 11 6 9 18 1 1 10 12 17 9 11 12 13 4 10 8 14 9 5 13 11 16 12 2 7 1 20 6 20 4 11 6 8 19 12 4 16 15 11 8 11 11 16 4 10 13 20 12 7 12 2 13 15 4 11 2 20 15 11 2 20 19 3 17 1 18 2 7 16 8 20 8 5 18 12 8 17 4 11 18 14 20 20 11 20 5 12 8 17 4 13 3 11 11 20 2 9 1 1 12 6 9 19 11 20 3 15 3 2 8 8 7 5 1 9 5 1 3 19 20 11 12 17 4 3 14 14 10 5 3 18 1 6 13 14 4 16 8 7 12 3 5 2 5 12 1 17 1 5 15 18 5 19 6 16 3 1 1 2 11 9 13 16 18 15 15 14 5 6 15 18 6 1 18 2 11 17 12 9 11 9 1 14 10 5 15 5 12 15 16 18 15 3 3 3 14 15 18 16 2 20 5 9 7 17 6 4 11 20 13 8 3 12 16 20 11 15 5 9 6 6 14 6 17 3 8 18 12 15 1 20 11 15 19 3 10 13 8 17 18 6 8 18 3 3 10 10 10 2 13 10 7 17 5 1 17 12 12 7 15 16 18 4 8 9 11 4 8 6 15 15 11 10 13 13 1 12 16 9 20 2 3 19 1 18 6 5 3 3 7 7 11 6 16 15 1 6 9 7 14

Looking carefully through the plastic icosahedrons, you find and carefully set aside fifty-two dies that happened to land with the twenty facing up.

You shove all the non-approved dice into a corner, and toss the fifty-two approved dice.

The numbers that come up are:

*ahem*

5 13 20 20 4 19 6 13 9 14 17 12 20 2 18 4 14 11 11 20 19 1 11 8 1 8 3 9 3 9 2 20 15 12 9 4 8 4 10 14 5 6 11 16 3 16 5 2 8 15 17 3

You look them over carefully, and find a mere five that have landed in an optimal position.

You pick out the five dies, holding them carefully, and shove the rest into the corner. With the stage set, you toss them to the ground.

19 13 8 4 14

Oh. Oh dear.

It seems like there was only one true Chosen One in the whole lot, and the intern has it.

Well, this situation is still salvageable. You throw the five useless dice into the corner with the rest of them. The only thing left to do now is find the worst die. Find the one that will always roll a one. That way, if you ever need to fail a roll, you’ll have that die ready.

You take a deep breath, and roll all the dice across the floor.

All 994 of them.

The numbers that come up are as follows:

*ahem*

16 2 7 11 8 3 17 9 20 4 17 10 13 20 12 15 2 20 9 13 17 10 18 10 8 12 5 9 19 15 12 9 18 2 1 1 17 4 20 8 15 19 9 9 20 5 3 1 4 10 12 12 14 13 5 3 20 18 10 9 5 1 7 20 9 1 9 20 13 15 8 9 19 18 16 10 20 19 15 17 13 16 2 8 14 1 18 2 7 3 19 11 15 7 11 14 7 12 2 20 7 14 17 16 10 11 15 2 14 7 12 3 19 5 14 10 1 16 4 16 7 7 16 14 4 20 16 17 18 13 2 14 1 18 19 3 10 19 8 4 3 8 15 15 9 11 15 15 14 19 14 6 4 8 1 3 15 3 2 10 7 11 6 13 9 11 18 11 14 14 4 13 9 9 6 2 8 15 5 1 14 4 19 19 14 1 12 9 19 8 9 14 1 11 10 1 12 9 16 6 15 9 14 17 3 15 17 16 10 11 4 13 10 17 2 8 10 11 17 2 6 11 9 16 15 7 10 13 11 3 4 20 8 3 9 14 11 8 4 6 4 20 20 14 1 10 81 20 5 2 8 3 6 12 20 7 4 12 19 2 11 15 3 6 13 10 18 9 15 8 6 2 14 15 4 18 10 4 20 9 5 20 16 4 14 3 9 15 18 16 2 14 18 13 14 11 4 19 6 17 9 19 14 20 9 16 2 3 9 18 5 5 12 13 18 12 12 12 9 20 9 8 17 18 13 11 1 15 1 16 8 15 4 3 1 13 16 7 2 10 1 6 6 8 6 8 18 9 16 3 16 14 1 9 2 8 20 18 9 2 17 20 7 17 12 3 6 4 1 18 1 8 13 16 16 12 20 10 2 16 8 1 20 9 14 5 6 7 12 16 10 18 15 11 6 2 2 11 11 10 9 9 19 2 11 7 16 8 4 11 15 19 9 5 12 12 17 12 12 1 4 17 8 1 16 16 3 9 8 13 19 19 13 7 4 15 18 17 20 18 15 20 4 11 15 17 7 1 10 18 13 13 12 11 11 7 13 5 16 1 13 11 1 18 20 4 3 5 7 5 17 16 2 16 7 17 11 17 11 10 19 20 12 3 11 17 13 10 20 5 11 10 3 5 19 15 2 12 11 20 14 8 5 16 20 7 20 18 5 10 17 15 13 14 20 1 2 7 14 4 11 12 10 7 18 5 1 20 4 12 5 9 6 19 3 11 17 8 7 16 1 20 7 2 12 5 9 1 16 1 15 13 18 1 15 16 19 19 3 6 6 8 16 6 12 1 12 3 20 2 18 18 8 8 9 18 18 14 20 3 6 15 13 18 9 2 2 11 2 18 20 10 18 12 11 2 13 4 9 5 17 89 20 2 18 5 3 4 4 1 6 16 7 12 19 9 10 20 6 13 16 11 2 20 13 18 19 5 18 19 20 2 17 17 9 10 5 3 18 5 13 14 1 20 5 16 12 19 10 11 19 1 12 6 8 3 8 5 17 4 16 6 11 20 12 15 13 16 15 10 10 8 7 4 19 12 7 10 6 13 8 12 7 13 1 7 20 6 6 14 8 20 19 1 13 7 8 12 7 6 6 10 7 19 14 4 10 3 16 15 4 13 14 5 2 15 17 4 13 8 13 14 11 5 4 6 19 5 16 7 10 12 13 20 5 11 15 18 5 14 14 12 12 19 14 18 10 9 11 4 1 12 19 16 4 3 9 16 3 2 7 18 17 7 4 7 5 17 16 13 6 6 4 12 17 7 1 14 3 20 15 4 15 8 15 4 13 12 8 4 4 1 16 5 20 10 6 5 4 9 6 2 20 15 2 17 16 1 12 8 8 17 3 11 20 13 1 14 7 1 1 12 7 6 14 16 19 11 14 12 9 20 15 2 3 8 9 19 7 17 6 5 14 8 19 10 19 16 11 15 17 19 16 1 7 10 2 7 6 4 3 17 7 20 14 4 5 4 17 4 13 1 15 12 8 16 5 4 18 15 15 1 1 3 19 1 2 2 16 17 20 13 18 9 3 1 20 2 11 17 8 1 14 17 8 15 6 3 20 11 10 20 15 8 20 13 15 13 20 8 8 6 2 19 8 11 4 3 1 3 5 11 6 12 5 8 3 13 18 19 13 10 20 7 20 13 4 18 8 20 8 13 13 1 18 6 13 10

Right. You look through them, carefully picking your way across the floor, and find fifty-five ones.

You set aside the ones, and shove the rest of the dice into a corner. And then toss the chosen fifty-five onto the ground.

The results are:

9 2 20 1 12 6 1 3 17 5 6 9 18 11 14 8 18 15 5 20 1 17 14 5 4 2 12 18 1 6 20 19 19 9 8 5 10 10 16 19 4 4 15 1 8 14 18 20 1 19 14 10 14 2 18

As they scatter across the floor, you can already see several good candidates. Six of the dice end up showing a one. You carefully separate them from the group.

You shove the not-cursed dice into the corner, and toss the six ones onto the ground.

18 10 14 4 1 7

Aha! A one! Success!

...But is it truly cursed, or simply unlucky?

You pick up the one, toss it in your hand a few times, and drop it.

1

Yep. You’ve found it. A truly cursed die. Congratulations.

You… Erm… You pick it up, dust it off, and pop it into your mouth.

…

Why?

You just look smug, and turn back towards the button.

Well that was certainly an experience.

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No