You press the button.

Ding.

The glitter is gone. The walls are back to being a naturally unpainted grey. You are no longer covered in glitter.

Well, mostly. There’s still glitter glued into your scalp that will take a month to get out, and five years from now when you go to a doctor for an ear cleaning they’ll find glitter embedded into your earwax, but other than that you’re glitter free.

Meanwhile, the room is filled with the smell of pizza. You look behind you, and find the same plastic folding table from before (or so you presume). This time, the table has pizza on it!

That would explain the smell, yes.

There is also a jug of lemonade and a glass.

Time for lunch! Which do you choose?

It’s all fancy and artesian. They got bread, tomato sauce, and then instead of covering the sauce in cheese like a normal person, they were lazy and just layed a couple slices of mozzarella down. Top that with olives, mini tomatoes, and what I think are bell peppers? And you’d have a decent pizza if not for those weird green things.

I’d still try it. You never know.

Ok, this is just a pepperoni pizza. Someone threw eight olives and a couple lettuce leaves on it after it was baked, added five dollars to the price, and called it a day.

How fancy.

Yes, I know they have a real name, but come on. You know what I mean. It’s also got… Some? Herb on it. I’m mildly confident in my ability to name leaves, but this one has me drawing a blank. The ones further to the right look like boiled oak leaves, not gonna lie, but the ones to the left… Yep, I don’t know. If you do, go ahead and tell me.

Otherwise, this is just an artisanal cheese pizza with things added afterwards.

As far as cheese pizzas go, this one looks pretty good. It might just be the perspective, but it looks fairly deep-dish.

However, as you can see from how clean the cuts are, this thing is stone cold.

That’s ok. Nothing wrong with cold pizza. And you get a sun-dried mini tomato on it to make it “healthy”. Plus a leaf! ...Oregano? Basil? Something off the tree outside? Take your pick, cuz without smelling it, I don’t have a clue.

Come on, guys! Seriously? You’re supposed to put the toppings on before you bake it, this is Pizza 101!!!

Also, what is the deal with putting giant leaves on a pizza? Like, I’m fairly certain that these leaves are basil, but still, why??? I tried it once, I really wanted to enjoy it, but it was just… Why not chop it up, so you get a proper amount of basil in each bite, instead of one bite which is nothing but basil, then the rest is more or less flavorless? I take issue with whole leaves on pizza idea! People may riot against pineapple, anchovies, or bananas, but I! I WILL REVOLT AGAINST LEAVES!!!!

Altho, this looks like the only vegan-friendly one, so there is that going for it. And fresh mushrooms are nice. The olives are straight-up going to roll off instantly, tho.

This is the exact same pizza as the earlier pepperoni one, just sans leaves and olives.

Still, can’t go wrong with a basic pepperoni.

Enjoy.

Unless you’re vegan, vegetarian, or Jewish. In which case… Yeah, I guess there is something wrong with basic pepperoni.

Never thought about that. You poor souls, how do you survive without being able to eat the cheapest of pizzas?

Finally! A proper pizza!

It looks vegetarian, with mini tomatoes, mushrooms, red onion? green olives, and red bell peppers, all on the base of cheese and tomato sauce. Granted, the peppers aren’t baked in, but I will accept that, because they’d add a nice crunch to the pizza, which would complement the crunch of the crust.

Personally, this is the pizza I’d go for, even if green olives are super salty.

See, I know some leaves. I don’t know why you’d want to eat a whole sprig of rosemary at once, but on this pizza they decided you’d do it and like it.

Rosemary aside (which, let me be clear, I don’t mind in pizza sauce. It’s the fact that it’s sitting on top in a whole friggin’ sprig that I mind) this looks like a decent pizza. Tomatoes, olives, onions… Zucchini? I’ve had zucchini on a pizza before and didn’t mind it. I don’t see any meat, but it looks like the cheese was put on top of certain other things (which I find perfectly acceptable), so maybe they have ham or something under there. Which would be good. If not, I have zero issues with vegetarian pizzas.

I spent some time staring intently at that image, and I’m pretty sure it isn’t white sauce. Unless they put red sauce and white sauce on the same pizza. In which case, why. But then, I also question the leaves, so I have several why’s for this pizza.

Double cheese is… fine… but it’s kinda boring. If you like it, more power to ya, but I like my pizza “kitchen sink” style.

Yep.

Also, what even are those leaves???

You eat. You drink. You enjoy your lunch.

And now…

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No