You press the button.

Ding.

The button made a ding. Fascinating. Will it do that every time you press it?

Spoiler: Yes.

You look more closely at the button. The sound seems to have come from underneath it somewhere. How interesting.

Almost as interesting as the racks of costumes that now line the walls.

You get up, looking the costumes over. They aren’t your typical ten dollar crap things from Party City, no, these are made from actual fabric. If you know anything about clothing design or tailoring (which, let’s face it, you probably don’t) you could probably guess that these were made for stage plays.

Which plays? Several of them. I don’t know, the only plays I’ve ever been to were “Beauty and the Beast” and “Cats”, and I can tell you that these costumes don’t come from either of those.

Anyways, what will you do?

You decide to try them on!

You pull something that looks like a pirate costume off a hangar and… debate.

You look around. There aren’t any cameras in the room. Or people, for that matter. You’re all alone, with no one watching you.

Except for me. I’m not in the room with you, but I do seem to be watching you somehow.

You don’t know me, but you can probably guess that I’m the type of person who would make fun of you. Not to your face, of course not, that would be rude, but I would totally email my coworker and tell them about that certain tattoo in that certain place…

Yeah, you’re not going to do it. You pull the pirate costume on over the jumpsuit.

Yep, you decide to take the jumpsuit off. You unzip it and pull it off. It’s not like there’s anyone in the room with you, after all.

Me? Oh yeah, I promise I’m not recording this in any way. How could I? There aren’t any cameras in the room!

Anyhoo, now jumpsuit-free, you pull on the pirate costume.

Oh, if only there were a mirror in here! You probably look exceedingly swashbuckling. You strut around for a couple of minutes, acting pirate-y.

...Without a mirror, this is surprisingly boring.

You look at the racks, with all the different costumes, but why bother? What would be the point?

You decide to organize them, because you’re OCD.

After looking them over for a while, you decide that the best way to organize them would be by color. You mentally make a plan for this, then pull most of the costumes off the racks, sliding the remaining ones to one side. Then you separate the costumes, organize them, and put them back.

There is now a rainbow of costumes on the racks. Well done. I’m sure you feel better about the world.

You know exactly what you want to do with these!

You pull every last one off the racks and pile them into a corner of the room, arranging them carefully.

And then you dive in, burrowing into the cloth like the little gremlin you are.

You snuggle down into the nest, making happy noises.

After a few minutes you fall asleep, and take a nap.

You wake up after half an hour or so, feeling very content.

That was nice.

Time to move on.

You aren’t particularly interested in clothes, even particularly interesting ones such as these. You are, however, interested in metal bars.

You shove all the costumes off a rack and look at the bar. It’s a basic clothes rack bar, metal painted white, probably from Ikea. The ends have little plastic caps on them to stop anyone from hurting themselves.

Well, you don’t need those.

You pull the bar off the things holding it to the wall and heft it.

It isn’t what you’d call flimsy, but it isn’t exactly solid steel, either. You pop the plastic cap off one end and stomp on it, making a nice flat edge.

Yeah, this could do some damage.

You position yourself above the button, aim carefully, and stab.

You push the button.

Ding.