《Big Red Button.》Welcome.

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Welcome, human.

You have woken. Waked. Awok-

Ok fine, look, you woke up. Congrats. I don’t know what the proper form of the word is.

Anyways, you’re awake! Yay! And you’re in a room! Yay? A room with four concrete walls, a concrete ceiling, and a concrete floor. Less yay.

You might be slightly worried about this. Don’t be, it’s all perfectly fine! Sure, you might have a slight headache, but that’s normal. It’ll go away in a few minutes. When everything stops being fuzzy tap your nose and I’ll continue.

You tap your nose, looking around.

The room is a perfect cube, eight feet by eight feet by eight feet. The walls are bare. The ceiling has a single fluorescent lightbulb bolted to it. In the middle of the floor is a red button.

You get to your feet, noticing you’re wearing a blue jumpsuit.

Why are you wearing a blue jumpsuit? Because when we bought them the website was having a sale on the blue ones. Oh, you mean why are you wearing it? Well, all test subjects wear jumpsuits. Let’s say it’s the uniform.

...Yes, I did say “test subject”. That’s what you are. Don’t worry, we aren’t evil or anything.

No you can’t leave yet, the test has barely begun.

How did you get into the room? ‘Tis a secret. A very mysterious secret.

You touch the walls. They feel like concrete, and sound thick when you tap them. There’s probably no way to break through them. At least not without a sledgehammer or power tools.

Finally you go to look at the button.

It is red. It’s set in a silver aluminum ring, securely fastened to the floor. It smells faintly of-

Ok, here it says it smells like “Crisp Waters”. What, were they all out of “Hawaiian Breeze” at Wal-Mart? And why not get “Apple Cinnamon'' or “Lavender & Peach Blossom”? At least with those I could hazard a guess as to what they smell like! Hell, even “Hawaiian Breeze” probably smells kinda fruity! But what, for the love of all that’s holy, is “Crisp Waters” supposed to smell like?? Presumably you know, because you’re currently smelling it, but I sure don’t!

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Anyways, yes. “Crisp Waters”. Right. You may or may not try to lick the button, in which case you would find it tastes like air freshener. It’s probably mildly toxic. Licking the button is never a good idea.

Well, that’s the setup. You, all alone in a concrete room, with a button.

What do you look like? ...What, do you not know? Well I’m not about to describe you, that would just be a waste of time, and you’d probably whine that I got something wrong. So no. Not gonna do it.

But what are you going to do?

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No

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