“Well, that’s uh… a… convenient spell,” stammered Duke Cedric.

His left eye couldn’t help twitching as he forced himself to smile at the butler who bypassed all of his manor’s wards against teleportation and unwarranted spellcasting. The wards were raised by no less than the king’s own court wizards and the butler didn’t even seem to notice them.

“Indeed, milord,” answered Sebas, smiling awkwardly.

“That’s one of the strangest gates I’ve seen,” the duke remarked. “Did you learn that during your time with the Elswind house?”

“The gate — yes, milord,” answered Sebas. “It’s appearance is... more of a personal thing.”

The duke nodded. A door certainly made more sense than a swirling gap in the fabric of space. It also allowed the butler to be more… butlery.

He could hear faint sounds of ringing metal and muffled screaming coming from the door. Sebas seemed to notice his stare and immediately closed the tiny gap.

“I’m sorry, milord,” the butler apologized with a bow. “Master Jeremy tends to leave the door slightly ajar — it was my mistake for not noticing.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Does he need any help by any chance? He was in a rush to leave.”

The stylized door remained standing there — any other gate would have collapsed in less than a minute. The implications and applications of such a gate could be devastating — especially if it could disregard wards and similar protections.

“Nothing serious, milord,” Sebas seemed unconcerned. “Just some rabble in the shop — Shelby took care of them, from my understanding.”

“Shelby — Jeremy’s snail mount?” he asked confused. “It — she can reach him from the Corner Shop?” And bypass my wards? A snail bypassing my wards! I will have to speak to my cousin about those court wizards he sent me.

Sebas paused. “Shelby is more like a familiar than a mount, milord. The master dotes on her — even putting her in charge of the fields.”

“I see,” he lied. How could a creature that size become a familiar? And how could it go about tending fields!

His head started to throb. Was this how his cousin felt when dealing with the Blackstaff?

“So how was your stay with the Elswind’s?” he decided to make some small talk to break the growing awkwardness. “Did you serve directly under the Blackstaff?”

“I prepared meals for the family and ran some chores,” the butler answered. “I wasn’t directly under Lord Amos, but I did receive the usual training, milord — if that was what you meant?

“Oh.”

The duke beamed inwardly. The butler was indeed some kind of hidden expert the Blackstaff sent to protect his son — wait, that didn’t seem right. Did the Blackstaff’s son even need protection? For heaven’s sake, his familiar could probably take down a battalion. Judging from the sounds he heard, it probably did exactly that just moments ago.

Sebas raised his head and turned to the door. The duke followed his gaze and saw mist or smoke building up in front of the door.

Before he could ask the butler what was happening, the mist started to form runes then letters — most likely a message from Jeremy.

It simply read — Be back soon. Finishing up. Why is the dwarf here?

***

Siege knew there was something wrong the moment he heard the clashing of metal and the unmistakable sound of screaming.

He started to run out of concern — the screams probably came from the Corner Shop. Did the monstrous snail finally give in to its baser instincts and eat the little boys that tended the fields?

He hoped it wasn’t so. He wasn’t ready for that fight — especially alone. The snail probably weighed a ton — and his sword was more likely to tickle it than cause actual damage.

Then there was the Scourge.

He doubted the wizard would spare anyone who harmed his snail — even if it started rampaging and eating people. He was the Scourge after all — a man-eating snail would probably add to his reputation.

The screaming was getting closer — and with it the sounds of running. Siege saw two… bandits? He was pretty sure they were soldiers — or at least mercenaries — so why were their faces covered?

The reason for their screaming soon caught up with them — a couple of snails carrying a plank of wood wrapped in barbed wire.

Siege stopped in his tracks, not knowing what to do and not understanding what was happening. Did the Corner Shop™ get attacked?

If those bandits ruined his chance at getting an enchanted weapon similar to the one at the shop, there would be hell to pay — though it seems the bandits were already paying their dues.

The two snails caught up with the fleeing bandits — tripping one and then the other by running behind them with the barbed blank and then speeding up.

He could only imagine the injuries those bandits suffered — probably more painful than debilitating, but now they were left to the mercy of the snails and whatever was yet to come.

The two snails noticed him but they didn’t seem to mark him as hostile. They turned to leave, but one of them circled back.

It seemed to spit out a card from its shell. It picked up the card — placing it in front of the dwarf, as if bowing, before gliding towards its waiting companion.

Siege picked up the card. That’s one way to get noticed.

Visit the Corner Shop on the road to Dun

or follow the snails.

***

Jeremy wasn’t mad. He was irate, homicidal, suicidal, foaming at the mouth — but he was used to the feelings, he had them every day.

Right now, the wizard knew his feeling of righteous anger was purely his — well, maybe a bit of Molloch’s, the evil mollusk god.

They dared to attack his home and harm his precious Shelby. Oh, they would pay — and dearly.

Shelby didn’t seem to mind. She said she was teaching the pretenders a lesson on what it meant to be hard. He wasn’t sure what she meant by pretender — but if she meant they were like children playing soldiers, she was probably right.

Most of the soldiers fainted the moment he got out the door. He liked Sebas’ door. It was more dignified than the usual portal — certainly better than his own.

On the other hand, the soldiers had little to no dignity. Some of them soiled their breeches — which was apparent from the smell.

Jeremy panicked — smelling something meant it was entering his nose and lungs!

He hurriedly grabbed a piece of cloth from his robes, tying it around his face to block most of the odors. Was that why the soldiers wore masks? Did they expect to soil themselves?

After checking up on Shelby one more time to make sure she was alright, Jeremy motioned for one of the boys to approach him.

He noted the look of fear in the older boy’s eyes as he approached and immediately realized his mistake. He scaled down his life ward to barely a few inches from his skin.

He remembered turning up the intensity after his visit to the Astral, and he seemed to be subconsciously maintaining it at the higher intensity — which was probably for the better since jerms were scary.

Ward reined in, the boy managed to maintain a straight face.

“Tie up the men and gag them,” he ordered. “Make sure they don’t die, they’ll have to pay for what they did.”

“Pay? What do you mean, Mi—mister Scourge?”

Jeremy frowned at the name. He heard his personal demons laughing and cheering — some of them urging him to rip the boy’s heart and eat it.

Well, that would be nasty — and unhygienic!

“Get Warden to give you some healing drops from the shop,” he instructed. “Give one each to the soldiers.”

The boy seemed confused.

“We will save their miserable lives and charge them the price of a Lifesaver™.”

“But we’ll only be using the normal healing drops, right?”

“Exactly — but the soldiers wouldn’t know the difference, not in the state they’re in.”

He left the boy to once again attend to Shelby. One of the smaller snails carrying a flag returned with a dozen horses — most of them collapsing once they neared the shop. There was an unconscious soldier on top of one, which seemed odd.

“Give some to the horses too!” he yelled at the boy. It was a shame to waste good horses — not that any of them could match his precious Shelby.

Two more snails returned dragging four soldiers. The soldiers were hitched side-by-side on a barbed plank, so he could imagine the ride wasn’t comfortable.

Walking behind the two snails was a dwarf.

THE dwarf.

The one that gave his Lifesavers™ such a bad reputation.

Jeremy frowned. What was he doing here? He didn’t seem connected to the soldiers — and he seemed happy to see him, even if he was sure he was frowning.

Maybe it was the scarf around his nose and mouth that prevented the dwarf from seeing his scowl. He should probably work on making his eyebrows more expressive.

“Why are you doing that with your eyebrows?”

“Oh, this,” he answered, taken aback. “Just cooling down from scowling at the soldiers.”

The dwarf shrugged, readily accepting his explanation.

“So, Sebas told me you used to make weapons,” Siege starts. “Maybe you can make one for me?”

“As you can see, my hands are full at the moment.”

“I bought the ores,” insisted the dwarf. “I can make the weapons — all I need this the enchantment.”

Jeremy frowned.

“I told Sebas I’d work in your shop for a month making dwarven-forged weapons for free.”

“Oh… come back in the afternoon then.”

***

“Why did you do that?!” a distressed Warren shook his cousin Dylan.

“Well, the Scourge told me to get some healing drops and tell the soldiers they were lifesavers, Warden” Dylan mocked. “I think he wants to charge them more money.”

“That’s not what I meant — and what’s with this warden?”

“Well, the Scourge called you Warden,” he explained. “You should have seen him, Warr—den. He was so scary, I thought he would grab my heart and eat it.”

Warren scoffed at his cousin — he was always prone to exaggerations.

“Now what about the drops?” he demanded. His cousin’s rash actions were unwarranted and could sully the name of the Corner Shop™.

“What about them?” replied Dylan, seemingly unremorseful or oblivious to the wrong he did.

“Why did you make the soldiers put them up their behinds?” Warren seethed. “Why did you do that?”

“The Scourge told me to tie them up and gag them,” Dylan smirked. “How could they eat them if they’re gagged?”

Warren massaged his forehead — he felt a headache forming.

“Then there was the dwarf — you saw him, right?” Dylan continued. “I remember hearing how the dwarf used it — he even said it was the right way to use them on the soldiers.”

Warren threw his hands in the air. What was the point? What’s done is done. There was no way to take back what just happened — unless they were to silence the soldiers.

They certainly deserved it for attacking the shop and Shelby. He paused. Maybe Dylan’s methods were not so bad after all?

He shook his head. Sebas would disagree. The butler and shopkeeper left him in charge of the Corner Shop™ and their group. The Scourge even called him Warden. Sure he might just be mistaking his name — or maybe... it was what he thought of him, as the leader of their group. He chose to believe it was the latter.

He swore he would do better next time — he would keep everyone in check.

Warden.

It had a nice ring to it.