This plan is feasible!

Although its success rate isn’t 100%, the most important thing is that my risk is very low whether it fails or succeeds.

After I figured it out, I fell into deep self-doubt, because from this moment onwards, murder was no longer just a fantasy. It was a reality within reach.

Am I really going to kill another person? When I think of how my hands will make Liang Zuoming stop breathing forever, I feel a kind of powerless heaviness. Was I sure that I could bear the self-reproach and remorse after this? What if I derive taboo pleasure from it and keep on killing people, until I become someone like Zhou Xiao and Zhou Tiannan. Afterwards, will I be eliminated by Uncle Chen himself?

On the way home, I bought a piece of fried chicken that had been endorsed by Huang Bo[1]. After a few bites, I lost my appetite. I threw it to a dog that was following me. The dog happily ate it up and sniffed my hand fawningly. I stroked its head. This shit-eating animal is so much cuter than Liang Zuoming.

I was hesitating. The two voices in my heart were having a heated debate.

The affirmative side said, “If you don't punish him, the kitten would have died in vain, and there will be others who will be harmed by a scum like Liang Zuoming in the future.”

The opposition said, “Even if you push Liang Zuoming into hell, the kitten will not be resurrected.”

The affirmative side said, “What a sanctimonious view! Of course, the dead cannot be resurrected, but the one who killed it must be punished.”

The opposition said, “Punishment should be enacted through law and justice, not murder. Murdering a human being is more shameful than torturing a kitten to death!”

I was very irritable. I happened to see that Sister Gu was at home so I knocked on her door. Sister Gu gently asked if I had eaten, and I said, "I’ve eaten. I want to talk to you."

I might have come at the wrong time. Sister Gu seemed to be troubled because she was smoking, and besides cigarettes, there was also a small glass of wine on the windowsill.

"Are you troubled about something?" I asked.

"I'm making a decision. I'm going to meet someone, but I can't make up my mind."

"Sister Gu, what do you usually do when you’re undecided about something?"

"Usually, I will consider the various pros and cons. However, in practice, I’m a very emotional person, and I always choose the path that I regret in the end." Sister Gu smiled bitterly. "But if I don't regret it, I won’t accept it. I’m such a contradictory person!"

I knew that Sister Gu must have troubles and I didn't want to trouble her with my own affairs. However, she saw my hesitation and asked me what was troubling me.

I asked, "Have you killed anyone before?"

I thought she would answer in the negative, but Sister Gu's expression suddenly changed. She whispered to me, "I did cause someone to die. It was not intentional, but I was the direct cause of that person's death. I’ve always regretted this incident very much. After so many years, the deceased will still appear in my dreams. Yueyue, do you think I’m a positive and cheerful person?"

I said, "You’re not positive and cheerful at all. You’re gloomy and introverted, but I like you very much because we’re very similar."

Sister Gu smiled slightly. "Never try to kill anyone. I’m not talking about the realistic consequences of killing people. In fact, after a person kills another, it’s a lucky thing to be arrested and imprisoned. The murderer can truly repay the debts for their impulsive actions and bear the heavy price. The most terrifying thing is that you kill someone but escape legal punishment. The shadow of the deceased will torture you like a ghost. This secret will eat away at your heart and make you unable to face yourself. If you kill someone, you will have to repay your debts with remorse for a lifetime, and this remorse would be irreparable. You can't make up for it no matter what you do!"

I nodded. Sister Gu was as tender as ever, and did not question me about what had happened.

I could have stayed to keep her company, but I was full of worries and went home.

I sat in the living room with the lights off and looked at the white walls for two hours. Although Sister Gu’s words made sense, that idea entangled me like a curse. In addition to the legitimate reasons I thought about, there was also a dark desire. I think I can carry out a perfect murder, deceive Uncle Chen, deceive Sister Lin, and deceive the whole world.

I fantasized that more than ten years after Liang Zuoming's death, his mother would become ill from grief. I’d go to visit her when she was on her deathbed and whisper in her ear, "I was the one who killed your son!" How gratifying that would be!

What an abominable person Liang Zuoming is. I would rather give artificial respiration to bonobos in the Congo than to say a word to him. Think about the things he’s done. He stuck chewing gum to "Miso’s" hair. He snatched a girl’s sanitary napkin out of her school bag and displayed it to the class. He slapped a boy’s mouth until it split behind the bicycle shed. These were all his jokes, his idle acts, and his “ignorance”! If the nurse who delivered him as a baby had accidentally dropped and killed him, the nurse could have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Liang Zuoming deserves it!

He deserves it!

He deserves it!!

He deserves it!!!

Yes, he deserves it. If I can tolerate such a scumbag, then I’m too kind!

People must take responsibility for their actions, and I will suffer a lifetime of internal torture for my actions. In that case, Liang Zuoming, you also need to take responsibility for killing that kitten!

It took me ten minutes to complete making the "murder hook". I hope that tomorrow will come sooner!

May 28th. Sunny.

During the lunch break, I installed the "murder hook" on Liang Zuoming's bicycle. The principle behind this thing was very simple. It was a small thin hook fixed on the frame made from twisted iron wire. When the wheel starts turning and after it turns sixty degrees to the left, the hook will catch the spokes. The whole bike will topple forward!

Of course, it depends on the speed of the wheels when turning. If the speed isn’t fast enough, it will probably only be - "Damn, it’s gotten caught on something!"

When Liang Zuoming sees this little iron hook, he might guess that it was me (he would think I was the one that did it even if his ass got acne), and he would come to pick a fight with me. I would never admit it anyway. If this conspiracy was exposed, it would just be seen as a prank. I have the blessing of the "Good Student Halo", so the teachers won’t believe his one-sided statement, not to mention that he has no evidence.

Once the "murder hook" works, Liang Zuoming will fall onto the busy road. Perhaps a bus full of passengers will run over his sinful head. No, I hope it will be over the abdomen, so that his internal organs will be squeezed out and he will take one full minute to die slowly while embedded in the road!

After doing this, other classmates came in and I quietly left. With the end of the lunch break, the school started bustling with activity again. It’s no longer possible for me to remove the "murder hook", which means I can't turn back.

Liang Zuoming, go and die!

Ah, he really died!!!

I can’t describe my frame of mind at the moment. I feel unable to breathe. What lingers in front of my eyes are Liang Zuoming’s wide-open eyes after dying from being knocked down. Those seemingly-accusing eyes were slowly swallowed by a waterfall of fresh blood…

My hands are trembling, and my tears keep falling on the diary. I know that I have committed an unforgivable sin!

In the afternoon, when Liang Zuoming rushed towards the road on the bicycle, I saw the "murder hook" constantly rubbing his spokes, and small sparks even appeared. When I thought of how Liang Zuoming was about to be drawn under rolling wheels, when this scene was about to become reality, the tide of remorse hit me!

I dropped my school bag, chased after him and screamed, "Liang Zuoming, stop!"

"Miso", who was with me, was shocked. Many passers-by looked at me strangely, but Liang Zuoming, who was wearing headphones, didn't hear me at all. Someone bumped into me and I almost fell. Then I heard an ear-piercing sound from the road...

Can't make up for it...

Can't… make up for...it.

1. Director, actor and singer from Mainland China.