Please!

Please!

Please!

Tell me it worked.

{Evaluation incomplete….

Error condition detected.

Trellis unavailable, Basic Guide offline, reverting to primary protocols.

Analysis commencing….}

That’s not an answer. It’s also a complete reversion to the more detached and clinical original interface, which makes the error condition sound pretty bad.

I don't know what happened. I need to know if it worked. I am desperate for the knowledge, and I'm stuck between crying and maybe panicking, feeling like I should be panting when I notice that I don’t have a body at all.

Oddly, this short circuits my emotional meltdown, as it gives me something else to focus on. I didn’t really notice that last time, perhaps the shock factor. I’m here, but I’m not physically here. I feel like I’m back in the same chair, looking at the same bedraggled plant in the same ivory planter. But I’m not. I move from the chair with a thought, my viewpoint shifting as though I were actually standing and shifting closer to the planter. The shrub has changed. I can see new branches in places that were bare wood before, and there’s slightly more overall size. The color has transformed to a more vibrantly green, reducing the silver-grey drabness of the space. I can “smell” the earthy loam that it’s growing from, and an astringent, sweet, and peppery scent rises from the leaves. The more I look, the more I believe that the plant is me.

Well, probably not me-me, but a representation of me. I’m shaping myself. As I make my choices in each life and here in the afterlife, or the betweenlife, or whatever this realm is, each selection makes some marks upon my very soulstuff.

Expanding my review of my situation, I look around the space. There’s much more shape and solidity to everything here. Not only has the plant filled in and become verdant, but the walls have formed more fully. Instead of appearing as foggy and translucent, the walls are solid, appearing to be tightly-joined stone blocks. There’s an arch in one wall, but it’s a blind arch, not a passageway. The other walls are plain, but smooth, like polished concrete but without any gloss.

Observations on my circumstances completed, I find myself oddly at peace. Last time I went kicking and screaming into the dark. This time, I made a choice. I felt more like I had a say in matters, and that made a huge difference to me. Even though I had every reason to believe I’d be back here, I’d been a bit worried. I had a couple lives left, but that was according to some system which only I can see. The whole thing could have been some odd fever dream and I still lay in a hospital. It still could be. Either way, it was different. And I was happy with that difference now. My heart still aches a bit as I recall my lost loves, but it was a welcome ache, full of memories of the joys, no longer overwhelmed by the pain, anger, and sorrow of the losses.

Perfect memory means that I can see my son when he takes his first steps. The first time he called me “daddy”, first hugs, last hugs, and all the hugs in between. All those things I had lost to the chemo-brain, to the cancer, and the pain. All those things are here. My daughter’s laugh, her smile, the joy on her face while singing. More hugs. All the hugs. My wife’s smile. Her laugh. Her constant support and steadfast friendship, even when that meant calling me on my bullcrap.

Lunette’s smile and kind eyes.

That last memory is more bittersweet than the others. It was something I’d avoided from fear. While I carried regrets for things I’d done, there were so many more about things I’d left undone. One day, perhaps, I’ll have grown enough to forgive myself for them.

That last thought echoes in my mind. Just because I can remember all my faults, doesn’t mean I have to dwell on them. If I can’t forgive myself for something, I can remember them as faults and hopefully use that to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Of course, being human, that means I’ll likely just make different ones.

But am I still human any more? Two lives later, I still have so much to learn, so I think I am. But there's so much I don't know, so much. Hopefully more growth can be had.

Wait. Growth. This WHOLE system is testing my growth. No… that’s not it. It’s letting me SEE my growth, make my choices and have a better way to observe the consequences. That thought is exciting, and a little humbling. After all, why me? That philosophical introspection is interrupted abruptly.

{Analysis completed. Cycle incomplete. Partial cycle evaluation available. Perform partial evaluation?}

Um. Cycle incomplete? Am I not dead?

{Partial cycle evaluation available. Perform partial evaluation?}

Great, that's not really an answer to the second question, but the logic of it is that if it's a partial cycle, I'm not dead, dead… I'm just mostly dead. Hopefully nobody is just checking for loose change, but I doubt there's a Miracle Max. I don't know what's happening outside here.

I consider for a moment, but being ignorant inside here won't help anything outside either.

Yes.

{Partial evaluation commencing…}

My current life's memories started flashing before my eyes.

This seemed familiar. Much like my first evaluation, apparently checking my memory caused me to get flashes as it was … what? Uploaded? Merely accessed? Does it matter? Probably not. But contemplating that did actually block most of the

The memory vignettes catch up to the moment of my death… or what I thought was death, and then close out.

{Partial evaluation completed.

New Achievements:

Knowledge Creator 1: Created, discovered, or rediscovered significant knowledge previously unknown to you and to more than 25% of the host world.

Reward: Guide Supplement x1

Knowledge Creator 2: Created, discovered, or rediscovered significant knowledge previously unknown to you and to more than 50% of the host world.

Reward: Guide Supplement x1

Knowledge Creator 3: Created, discovered, or rediscovered significant knowledge previously unknown to you and to more than 75% of the host world.

Reward: Guide Supplement x2

Knowledge Creator 4: Created, discovered, or rediscovered significant knowledge previously unknown to you and to more than 90% of the host world.

Reward: Guide Supplement x4

Trainer 1: Taught a created or rediscovered ability to at least one other person.

Reward: 1 minor grafted trait.

Selfish 1: You spent a majority of this cycle focused on yourself.

Reward: 1 minor pruned trait

Sacrifice Play 1: Spent your life energy to save someone.

Reward: 1 specific major grafted trait: spiritual entanglement. Explanation follows:

Spiritual Entanglement: Transferring a substantial portion of your life energy to someone else has consequences. In this case, the object of your sacrifice will have the option to become an active participant in your ThanaTopiary instance. Sharing your cycles, so long as you remain a participant in the ThanaTopiary system. Entanglement is not required and may be rescinded by the life energy donor and/or rejected by the recipient.

Rewards available:

Total Guide Supplements available: 8

Second Cycle Evaluation: Unavailable. Cycle incomplete.

}

Oh, thank you, Creator! It did work. Not knowing would have gnawed at me. The worst part of this system that slowly came into focus was that I could see a future made of always leaving my past behind and knowing I’d be alone every time I started over. That was a torturous reward. Did I want Lunette to face this system? Would we be in the same worlds at the same time? It was implied, but never completely or outright stated. It was her choice. I could only hope she’d join me.

I review the rest of the information supplied. Those Supplements should be nice, aside from the substantial likelihood of many rounds of intense discomfort. I’ve generally preferred to have more information rather than too little. I wish I knew what the next level of Knowledge Creator was. Is it 99%? What Knowledge was it? What's 10% of the world know and manage to keep secret? I suspect that it's the psionics stuff I had just started exposing to the world, which meant that at least some of the research was far enough out there to be useful.

Another grafted trait would mean another nice bonus too.

That second "achievement" doesn’t sound good, and the reward doesn't seem positive either. Reward. It keeps using that word, whether the result is good or bad, I do not think it means what IT thinks it means!

Wait, why no grafted trait in the reward total? Didn’t I have one of those and a pruned one?

{

Pruned traits are the opposite of grafted traits.

Pruned trait applied.

Grafted trait applied.

Expend Guide Supplements now?

Warning! Unknown cycle stability!

Applying one or more Supplements may result in Cycle termination. Likelihood increases with the number of Supplements applied.

}

That was different.

I’d like to see my Guide Supplement options now, please.

{

Current Supplements:

Basic Supplement: Skills

Basic Supplement: Statistics

Available Supplements:Basic Supplement: Inspection, Inanimate. Provides rudimentary information about inanimate objects. Observation skills and repeated use will increase reliability and detail. Minor energy drain per use.

Basic Supplement: Inspection, Life Forms. Provides rudimentary information about living objects. Observation skills and repeated use will increase reliability and detail. Moderate energy drain per use.

Intermediate Guide Graft: Strengthens the capabilities and nourishes your current guide graft. Allows other Intermediate Supplements to be applied. Additional Intermediate Supplements will each consume two Supplement options.

Blocked Supplements:

Basic Supplement: Shared Screens.* Allows sharing of details between individuals within the topiary instance via topiary display screens. Limited Range. Very minor energy drain per minute of use.

*Must be purchased by all individuals in a shared topiary instance.

Intermediate Supplement: Detailed Statistics *

Intermediate Supplement: Detailed Skills *

Intermediate Supplement: Inspection, Inanimate *^

Intermediate Supplement: Inspection, Life Forms *^

* Locked. Purchase and additional details will unlock after the Intermediate Guide Graft is purchased and the grafting process is completed.

^ Requires basic level grafting of the same skill class.

}

Dagnabit, I really REALLY want all the basic guides, but I can't afford to gamble my return on this.

What are the odds if I install all basic supplements?

{

Unknown. Current Cycle Stability is estimated at 26% within ±5%. Minimum cycle disruption from applying growth supplements is estimated at 10% within ±5%.

}

OK, so that's good. Do I risk one? If so, which one should I risk? I think the answer is obvious. I want to know how I compare to other people, which will also help me see if I am making a difference when I teach them, and help me help them. OK, so the second part is kinda a bit of justification, but it'd be nice to have a better idea what skills mean in terms of the numbers. What's common? What's the actual average person's stats?

How do I stack up in the grand or even not so grand scheme of things?

Apply Basic Supplement: Inspection, Life Forms.

{

Applyingggg….

}

My brain feels like it's melting, freezing, and itching all at the same time. Much more pain than mere discomfort this time. My whole head aches and throbs, and I don't even have one here, at least not really, nor a pulse for it to throb in time with, yet somehow it seems to be doing both anyway.

{

Aa̶̝̼͉̍̂͛͘p̴̦̠̝͎̕p̴̢͎͔̄̽̀̐p̴͖̣̓͌̐̔p̸̧̑͗ṕ̸̨̺̜̳̀͒͘l̸̺̟̇͊͑́í̴̡̛̦̜̉̉ĉ̶̮͉̱̯̾͒̌a̸̞̭͇̤̅ț̷͉̙̖͋į̴̥̞̇̽͂͠o̷̧͗̏͠n̶͍͆n̸̡̍ń̵͙̬͕̆͘n̶̠̲͔̓̀͛̈́ ̷̰͇̰͋̾͗͠c̶͔̽̈́͐̒ó̴͕̮̞̆̽m̸̬̂̄̓ͅp̸̰̏͘l̷̯̄e̶̥͊e̸͇̖̾è̷̳̺̀̚ē̶̖ḛ̶͔̤̪̀͋̇̂t̶̠͕͔͓̍̍̾e̶̞̣͓͐͒͑ḑ̴͈̣̄dd.

}

Well, that was completely awful. I'm thinking this is a one and done.

Now I just have to hope I wake up.

Any time…

Any time…

Crap. Did it say that was the minimum disruption? RTFM!