“You face me alone?” the Lich King hovered towards Dalton. “Foolish!”

Dalton materialized three throwing stars in his left hand. They were wrapped with explosive seals Mikoto had made for him.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took in a breath. When he opened them once more, he was ready to fight.

His blood hardened, making his body stronger than iron. Then, he kicked off the ground.

The Lich King was taken by surprise. To it, Dalton had moved in a blur, with his short sword he cut down at the Lich King.

A barrier formed, and his blade slowed down, but it wasn’t enough for him it stop. The barrier popped like a bubble and carved the side of his face. The Lich took a step back and looked up. A fissure from the cut went down his face.

“What the fuck!” The Lich King screamed. “This is not how we fight!”

Dalton was confused. “Excuse me?”

“Do you not see that blue menu box right there?” The Lich King pointed to Dalton’s right. Dalton looked to see a very giant blue text box with white words written on it. “You’re not supposed to just attack like that! You’re supposed to take turns!”

“Turns?” Dalton parroted. “Are you being serious here? We’re fighting right?”

“We are!” The Lich King’s eyes burned. “But that doesn’t mean we fight like savages!”

“…But isn’t that what fighting is?”

“Are you being serious? Did you accidentally get sent here instead of the very nice beginner town where there are weaker monsters?” The Lich King asked. “Am I your first monster? Do I really have to give you a tutorial?”

“I mean, you don’t need to. We can just fight like normal. Isn’t that easier?”

The Lich King scoffed, shaking his damn head. “The system here is in place to make it easier and much more commendable to fight.”

Dalton was having doubts about that. This was a world where Ozul had designed. He didn’t expect him to make it an RPG like system. Still, Dalton was somewhat curious, so he put his short swords away and crossed his arms.

“Fine. Please explain.”

Riot silently agreed with that sentiment by nodding his head.

“It’s very simple. Your turn is determined by the bar above us.”

There was a green bar above them with some unflattering pictures of Dalton and Riot. It took him a moment to remember where his took place, but it was when he had been shoved in the room his first day of work. Riot’s picture was the truck that killed him, with his arm sticking out of the grill. It made Dalton wonder why those pictures were chosen.

“During those turns you pick your command and attack or heal or whatever you want to do.”

“Okay” Dalton rubbed between his eyes. “So, I just let you attack me without dodging?”

The Lich King straightened. “That’s right.”

“And, what happens when you die?”

“Your body gets reconstructed, and you become the winner’s sexual slave.”

And now Dalton could believe this was a world Ozul created.

“Se-sexual slave?” Riot’s nose was bleeding. “O-oh my.”

“Do you want to have the Lich King become your sexual slave?” Dalton asked the man, truly worried about his tastes.

“What? No of course, I don’t. I would never try and sleep with a skeleton.” Riot said aghast.

“Rude.” The Lich King glared. “As for me, I have plans for the two of you.” The Lich King rubbed his bony hands together.

The two of them looked at each other, their faces paled.

“Quick question.” Dalton raised his hand. “What if, we just broke the rules.”

“Then you would be a deemed a Rule Breaker, and our cruel and vicious god will send a signal to an assassin that will hunt you down, even if you escape this world,” The Lich King said.

“Wow.” Dalton said. “That seems harsh.”

“Before the Assassins we had a lot of Rule Breakers. No one wanted to uphold being another’s sexual slave.”

“Can you just stop saying that. What would a Lich King even want a slave for sex for? You don’t.” Dalton motioned to his groan. “Have one, do you?”

“No.” The Lich King said in a wistful tone. “But I have a pit of worms that will feast on your flesh and each time they bite you, you will only feel euphoria. I enjoy watching that.”

Dalton and Riot turned away from the Lich King. Just from their gaze, they could tell they were thinking of the same thing.

“Should we just break the rules?” Riot asked.

Dalton tapped his temple, deep in thought. He turned back to the Lich King. “If we defeat you, what can you do for us?”

“I can give the fines-”

“We don’t want anything sexual. Can you be our battle slaves or something?” Dalton asked.

The Lich King shook his head. “Unfortunately, the system says that you can only become someone’s sexual slave.”

Dalton turned back. “So, he’s going to be completely useless if he comes with us.”

Riot’s face scrunched up, and he turned to pose his own question. “Were you a woman in your past life?”

“I’m called the Lich King.”

“Completely useless.” Riot turned back to Dalton. He was shaking his fist. “Why couldn’t he be a woman?”

Dalton gave Riot a concerned look. “Is that really all it would take for anyone to be your slave?”

“Yes.”

“…When we get back, we’re going to need to get you an actual girlfriend and not one that you created with magic,” Dalton said, placing a hand on his friend.

“I don’t need your pity!” Riot stamped his feet. “I shall prove myself, just watch, as I defeat the Lich King in their ritual combat!”

“If you lose, you will be eaten by worms. If you win, you will have a skeleton for a sex slave. You don’t win either way.”

Riot wasn’t listening and brushed Dalton aside. He pointed his bone axe at the Lich King. “I shall challenge thee to a Ritual Duel.”

“Okay. Then I, as Level One Hundred and One Lich King will go first, against you, a Level One Lumberjack, and I use Devourer of Souls.”

A giant black mist with teeth appeared above Riot. Riot’s face went pale, and the mist engulfed and killed him. A moment later, he appeared right beside the Lich King with a chock collar around his neck.

“And now you’re my sexual slave.”

Riot looked at Dalton with pleading eyes. “Help me.”

Dalton sighed, unsheathing his short swords. The Lich King laughed at that.

“Do you challenge me too, Level One Demon King? Even if you have a scary title like that, I am still faster and-What are you doing? Why are you not waiting for my turn? What do you plan to do with-” The Lich King’s eyes flared like a dying flame. “Rule Breaker! You will be a Rule Breaker!”

Dalton did not care. Despite the Lich King’s high level, he was not used to actual fighting. Dalton beheaded the Lich King and then crushed the core in the center of his chest.

#

SIGNAL SENT FOR ASSASSINATION REQUEST.

TARGET: DALTON ATTEWATER

VIOLATION: RULE BREAKER

ASSASSINATION ACCEPTED.

PAYMENT WIRED.

ASSIGNED TO: THE MILKMAN.

#

The Riot clasped Dalton’s hand, tears flowing down his face. “Thank you for saving me from being eaten by worms. I-I feared it so much.”

“Yeah…” Dalton sighed, sheathing his short swords. “But now I’ve probably got an assassin coming after me.”

“I’m sorry.” Riot rubbed his eyes. “I just…been through a lot.”

Dalton waited. “Do you maybe want to talk about it?”

“A lumberjack took my woman, and now he is planting his manly seed in her.”

He regretted asking.

“Okay then,” Dalton said. “I get that your…did she have a name?”

“Mecha.” He sobbed.

“Mecha.” Dalton thought that was a terrible name, but he kept his tone low and sympathetic. “I get that she was taken away, but right now, we should probably find the two deserters.” His teeth gritted in frustration.

For escaping on their own, and leaving them to deal with the Lich King, Dalton hoped that misfortune would befall them.