《A lonely exploration of Tao》Chapter 44 : (In)Side Story 1 : Journey
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The air is hot. The ground is hot. My body is hot. I hate the heat periods. They are always the same, hurting me by making the entire world try to burn me. My tentacles are drying out. The heat harms them. They are withering. I need to give them water, cold, and rest. I can give them none of those things.
I am thirsty. My water pouches are almost empty, and my body is getting very dry. I cannot hear any water nearby. I need to travel farther and farther still until I find water.
I am hungry. It has been too long since I have laid any traps. I cannot afford to. I have a mission, and I cannot waste any time digging a hole and waiting for prey.
I know it is forbidden, but I even stopped covering up my tacks behind me. My camouflaging limbs are so dry, I think they would turn to dust if I leave them in the sun any longer.
I am tired. It has been six cycles since I separated from the group, and since then I have been crawling without rest. I only stopped when I heard water. As soon as I had drunk enough, I went right back to crawling.
I must find the Elder. I do not know where he is, so I must look everywhere. Everywhere is big, so I must be fast, and cannot stop to rest. I will continue, and I will accomplish my mission. I will be worthy of my Title.
I caress the Mystery inside my carapace. It is valuable, and powerful. So powerful that the group gave me a Title. It obeys me, so I am the Owner. And I have a mission to show it to the Elder. The mission is important, the Mystery is important, and I am important. Too important to die of heat.
I need to continue moving. I need to find water. I do not know how far the water will be. Please, Mystery, please fix my tentacles. Please give me food. Please give me water. Please tell me where to find water. Please tell me where the Elder is.
The Mystery is not always helpful. It likes to heal. My tentacle is healed. But it does not like to give things or answers. Also, the Mystery does not do anything for free.
Using the Mystery makes me tired. Not in the good “Everything is ready and we only have to wait for prey to come” way. Not even in a “I have worked very hard, and I don’t want to work anymore” way. No, it makes me tired in a bad way. In a “I need to continue moving to find water, but my tentacles feel too heavy to move” way. It is the worst kind of tiredness, the one that leads to Emptiness.
It is not my tentacles that are tired. The Mystery has already fixed those. It is my brains. And the Mystery does not want to fix the tiredness of my brains. Only rest can heal my brains, but I cannot rest. The mission is too important.
Traveling is not fun. It is not exciting. It is gruelling. Most of the time, there is nothing happening at all. You just have to drag yourself over the ground, one tentacle after the other, in an endless repetition of efforts.
You can not even talk properly while traveling. It is impossible to send clear signals without digging your Communication tentacles deep in the ground. That also means it is hard to see. You can only see when something is very close, or very loud. The thing I am hearing right now is very loud.
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It is a very rhythmic sound, and it is getting louder and louder. It is difficult to see what is causing it because of how far away it is. But I don’t need to see it to know what it is. There is only one thing in the world that likes to hit the earth like this. That is a prey running towards me.
I do not know what to do. I need to build a trap! But I do not have time. I am alone, and working alone is slow. I do not know how fast the prey is, but they are never that slow. Besides, I cannot afford to stop and dig a trap. I have a mission, and building a trap alone takes many cycles. But I am hungry, and need to catch prey. I will die without it.
The noise is getting louder. I am sure of it now. It is a prey. But maybe it is not food? I have no traps, so I cannot catch it.
I met the Sharpener once. He told me that before they are in our traps, prey are not prey. They are enemies. They are predators. He said they could hurt us. How is that possible? I have never seen a prey hurt a Sil'piceus. Maybe he was wrong? No. He had a Title. That means he cannot be wrong.
Then do I really have to let the prey leave? I am so hungry...
What about the Mystery? It will not give me food, but it gives me strength. With strength, I can easily turn the maybe-prey into for-sure-food. Maybe the Mystery counts as a trap? That would mean anyone that touched me fell into my traps! Maybe that is how we should use the Mystery! It is a mobile trap that does not need to be prepared!
I also have a Title, so I am also right! The thing coming is prey, and when I touch it, it will be falling into my Mystery trap. Then It will be food, and I will drink its blood to satisfy my thirst!
I asked the Mystery for food and water before. Maybe it did actually help? By giving me prey and traps? Then the Mystery is even more valuable than we thought!
The prey is coming closer. It must be very big, because I heard it a long time ago, and it is still not here. That means he is making a lot of noise, and only big prey do that. The prey is big. Bigger than me. That does not matter. I am a Sil'piceus, and I have a trap. It will fall into Emptiness, and I will be satiated.
This prey may be big, but it not too fast. At least slow enough that I can see it clearly as it is approaching. Prey often have very strange bodies. This one is no exception. It is moving around on four support sticks, which cannot even bend properly. Like so many others, for some reason it thought that it was a good idea to put his mouth on the front of his thin body, instead of beneath it. Does it not know that food lives on the ground? It is stupid.
At least this prey knows tentacles are the best. It does not have any, but I can see it tried to have some. It did not do it well. Its entire body looks like a stiff tentacle with random bits striking out of it, and a mouth in front.
Having a body in the form of an inferior tentacle was okay. Having a body that is the amalgamation of eight tentacles and nine brains is better. That is why Sil'piceus are better. That was why prey is prey.
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The prey is coming towards me slowly. I was scared it would pass by me, but it changed direction. Now it is coming directly towards me. Lucky me! Or maybe it is not luck, but the gift of the Mystery.
The prey is here. In a few moments it will be close enough that I can hit it! Please, Mystery, give strength! Give me a lot of strength.
My tentacles pulse in an ominous black light, and I feel that my prayer was answered. There is no time to waste. I am hungry, and need to get food.
My tentacles whistled as they tear through the air towards my prey. It only took a fraction of a second for tham to reach it. The impact makes four dull thumping noises. The prey is falling down. It should have known better than to stand on a bunch of fragile sticks.
The prey is getting back up. How is it doing that? Prey never get back up after they fall into a trap. Why is this one different? Should I hit it again?
It is coming towards me again. The Mystery really wants to give it to me. I hit it again. This time it does not even fall. It is turning around. Why is it doing that?
The back of its tentacle-body hits my shell. It makes a booming sound. I shake a lot, but am not hurt. I even have a Mystery-trap, so of course I will not get hurt. My shell is the best, and heat is the only thing that can defeat it. Hitting is useless.
I do not understand what the prey is doing. Why did it try to hit me? Was it trying to hurt me? Why would it try to hurt me? Does it think I am prey? I am not prey. I am a Sil'piceus. It cannot eat me.
This is too confusing. I forgot to hit it again. Now it is turning away from me. Does it understand I am not prey?
Pain. I am hurting so much. So much pain that one of my brains has stopped working. My main brain turned it off to stop it from transmitting the pain.
The prey bit me. It tried to eat my tentacle. A huge chunk of my tentacle is haging limply in the prey's mouth. I hate it. This is not supposed to happen.
Mystery, help me! Heal my tentacle! Mystery, give me strength! Mystery, kill that prey!
Why does the Mystery only help once? At least my tentacle is slowly healing. My flesh is growing back! But I feel brain-tired. But I will still ask for more strength!
Pain. So much pain. My tentacle has fallen off. The prey bit me again. But this time it did not eat. It just continued biting, and then it pulled. It pulled so hard, it tore off half of my tentacle.
The pain stopped. Now two of my brains are broken. This means I cannot move two of my tentacles. I only have two strong limbs left. What is happening? Why is the prey not acting like a prey? I hate it!
Pain. It does not stop hitting me. It does not stop biting me. My black blood is flying everywhere. I feel weak. This cannot go on. I have one combat tentacle left. The Sharpener was right. The prey is not a prey. It wants to eat me. I need to eat it first!
I unfold all of my tentacles and start attacking. My drinking tentacles immediately start withering in the heat. It does not matter. Mystery, give me strength! I am a Sil’piceus, and I will not become prey!
I am stupid. With my sensing tentacles waving in the air, I cannot see where the prey is. Where is it? I am only hitting the air. The Mystery’s power is wasted. I feel too tired to continue.
Pain. One of my drinking tentacles is torn off. It is too fragile. It hurts so bad. But I remember where my tentacle was. And the prey must be right in front of it.
I missed it. Only one of my weak tentacles barely hit something. The prey has already moved away. I feel even more tired. My brain is slowing down.
Pain. My last strong tentacle is limp. It is being eaten. But my other tentacles are close. I can hit the prey.
It feels nothing. My remaining limbs are too weak. I try to wrap my tentacles around it, to stop it from biting me again. It is too strong.
I am too tired. Five brains are not enough to stay awake. I want to rest. But I cannot. Sleeping near the not-prey means falling into the Emptiness. I cannot do that.
I have a mission. I have a Title. That means I am important. I always dreamed of having a Title. Now that I have one, I will prove myself to be worthy of it. That means turning this not-prey into food.
“Mystery, give me strength!”
I know that I only need to speak with my brain, but I am using my whole tentacle to scream for help.
I will have to let go of the not-prey to be able to hit it properly. I have to be fast otherwise I will lose track of it and it will bite me again.
My tentacles glow with power. I will have to be quick. Before I can let go of the not-prey, I feel it struggle in my grasp. It is hurt. It is very hurt. Why is it hurt? I did not hit it yet.
My sensing tentacles are touching it, so I can look at what is happening inside of it. For some reason, the insides of its body are melting.
I think it is because of my communication tentacles. I was screaming, which meant they were vibrating, and the Mystery makes the vibrations very strong. Then the vibration travels through everything I touch, including the body of the maybe-prey-now. And that hurts it a lot.
Why does vibrating hurt it? It does not hurt me. That does not matter. It is good. I want it hurt. I hit it without letting go, and that will stop the vibrating. How do I hurt it more?
Hitting it is not a good idea. I tried that with my strong tentacles, and it did nothing. Besides, I do not want to stop touching and holding it. Then it would stop getting hurt and it would escape.
I have an idea. I will squeeze it a lot. With the Mystery, I am very strong, and I do not like being squeezed a lot. I hope the please-be-prey does not like it either. I hope it hurts a lot. I hope it hurts enough that it becomes Empty. Mystery, give me more strength.
The Mystery is giving me strength. I am giving it mysterious brain energy.
I want to squeeze the please-die-quickly-prey very hard. I want to end it all. But I am too tired. I am only squeezing a little.
I want to hurt it more. I want to make sure it becomes food. Then I want to eat its flesh and drink its blood. Only then will I be in a suitable state to continue my mission.
I want to do many things, but my body is not obeying me. My vibrations are slowing down. My grip is weakening. I am falling asleep. I can feel it. I want to stop it, but I cannot. Sleep is too strong, even stronger than my brains.
I will never give up. Sleep is strong, but my will is stronger. I will persevere. I will turn the prey into food. I will survive. I will find Elder. I will be worthy of my Title.
I am the Owner, and I will accomplish my mission.
The prey is falling down. The inside of its body has completely turned to soup. It is not prey anymore. It has already become food. I have won.
It was hard, and I got very hurt, but in the end I was right. I do not need to dig traps. Mystery is my trap. I just need to learn to use it better.
All that is for later. Right now, I am hungry and thirsty. I should not waste the fruit of my labor. It is time to feast. Then it will be time to sleep.
Then it will be time to find the Elder.
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