Chapter 36

Translator: Kay

“…….Haa, the same thing is pouring out1.”

Did I choose words that were not noble enough? Benjamin heaved a sigh with an expression that was somehow disconcerting and swept his face.

Now that I thought about it, he was the most formidable criminal in the Empire whose existence no one else could match.

I glanced up at Felix. He looked at me and then at the faint blue glow at his fingertips before quietly extinguishing it.

He was really trying to use magic.

Our conversation was spinning around without compromise.

In the first place, the ideas themselves were very different from each other, but this was not how a conversation was supposed to proceed.

Benjamin intended to turn Claudia into a doll no matter what, and I was a thorn in her side2, who inspired her free will.

“Your Grace, if you have nothing more to say, we shall go back.”

Felix broke off the unpleasant silence with a sharp blow.

He seemed to have decided that there was no need to continue the conversation any longer.

“Oh, my God. Was it uncomfortable?”

“You’re the one who made rude remarks. Don’t ever let this happen again.”

“I don’t exactly have any recollection of doing that.”

“You better not think of calling for Irene ever again.”

Even if he tried to be polite because his opponent was a duke, it seemed very difficult. No matter how patient he was, he must have reached the limit.

But you held it together3, Felix. Great job, Felix!

He rose from his seat and reached out his hand towards me.

I held the hand reflexively, even though I was like, ‘Huh? Why the sudden hand?’.

At the same time, Benjamin’s voice caught us trying to leave. He spoke as if he were sorry.

“I wish I had recognized the value of the lady first. I had plenty of opportunities. But I couldn’t make a judgment because you didn’t have such a strong presence.”

I could only shudder at the sudden confession by the nuclear waste. If you were going to say something no one could understand, I preferred it if you just said it in your head.

After all, the guy who said this was the one who tried to kill me by sending me an assassin.

I didn’t even want an apology, but I didn’t expect you to act like you had amnesia. There’s a degree of acceptable shamelessness.

“I was serious about wanting to be close. In fact, it’s a shame for me. I had no choice but to ask for a meeting with the lady in this manner.”

“…….Did you want something like that?”

I didn’t want to respond, but I asked because I was really curious.

It was as if you called to meet me just so you could poke me like food that you couldn’t eat. Why did you have to do that?

“It’s like a gemstone that can show off tens of thousands of lights depending on how it’s trimmed. If you were in my hands, you would make me more entertained.”

From the part, ‘make me more entertained’, I could tell that he was thinking of me as an amusing toy.

Wasn’t he just saying that he wanted to have fun with me, but he didn’t have enough time? He should have taken me first before Claudia monopolized me – was that what he meant?

Was I a limited edition Lego?

He was an opponent who had no confidence to win because he didn’t make a move.

At the same time, Felix stood in front of me as if to protect me.

“I enjoy gambling in my own way, but I don’t reach for anything that is totally impossible.”

Benjamin raised both hands neatly, in the sense that he had given up on trying to appease me from the beginning. But I couldn’t understand his words at all.

If that was the case, why wouldn’t he give up on Claudia? There was not even a one percent chance that Benjamin and Claudia would connect. There was no hope at all.

It was just a bunch of contradictions coming from someone who seemed to insist that they were not nuclear waste.

“It’s my pity and curiosity that I’ve called the lady here even though I knew it wouldn’t work out. It serves as both a warning and a final conciliatory.”

He blinked his eyes with an expression that indicated he wasn’t interested in my thoughts and went on.

“It’s also the last chance I’ll give to the lady.”

Chance. I frowned at the words.

He used the same expression, ‘chance’ as me, but in fact, I could not harm him. In Benjamin’s case, he could.

I was eager to avoid the crisis somehow, but it was clear that he would reach out to us.

Perhaps he was trying to scare me. I waited silently for the following words.

“Why didn’t I know?”

Instead of explaining, Benjamin narrowed the distance between his eyes and studied me carefully with interest.

“It’s strange. You, who had never inspired or impressed me, seemed to have become a different person since years ago…….”

“…….”

“…… You’ve changed.”

I couldn’t help but be surprised at his words.

In the meantime, only my family member, Liam Amber, had noticed the change between the current and original Irene Amber.

“I don’t usually remember anything that’s not worth it, but it’s hard to forget what I’ve seen once.”

The eyes that glanced up and down at me were unpleasant and creepy. It was as if a snake was wrapping itself around my body.

“Didn’t the lady look at me with a heartrending glance in the past?”

‘Even when I was burning a cigarette.’

Benjamin chuckled as he chewed the cigarette that he was biting at an angle with his teeth.

“Maybe the lady’s preference has changed.”

I thought he had tried to attract me to his side because he was interested in gaining the information I knew.

Was it only to confirm that I had changed?

‘Crazy. I feel creeped out…….’

Benjamin had more insight than I expected, so I got goosebumps all over my body, but that was all.

It was great to discover that I had turned into someone else, but so what? That was not my weakness at all.

Didn’t you think I might have prepared myself for that?

Through Martina, all the information about me has been manipulated to match the current Irene Amber. Every single piece of information you bought was fabricated.

“You must be mistaken.”

I flatly denied it.

Irene Amber, in the original, may have had a terrible crush on Benjamin, but there wouldn’t be any hint of it now.

“Hmm, I thought my eyes that read of desire were pretty accurate.”

I was sure it was. Since Benjamin stood at the center of crime, it was inevitable that Benjamin would be good at penetrating through the bottom of human beings and understanding their hearts.

“It certainly only reads of hate and livelihood right now. You look at me with those eyes.”

As if he couldn’t understand, he blinked his reptile-like eyes and spoke in a strange voice.

“I want to dig it out.”

Before I could comprehend the sentence, a piercing sound broke out. All of a sudden, a fierce murderous atmosphere stabbed the air, and chills ran down my spine.

“Your Excellency, I have told you that we are heading back.”

I couldn’t figure out what had happened.

Felix’s fingertips flinched, causing me to look back at him with a blank expression.

The blue eyes, which I initially thought were cold, were now boiling like lava.

At the same time, like pitch-black darkness where not even a single ray of light could reach, I could not read any emotion.

Simultaneously, the leather on the back of the sofa where Benjamin was leaning on fell unsteadily. The cotton filling that was inside scattered and fluttered in the air.

It was right next to his head, where he could reach with just a slight movement of his head.

Benjamin fiddled with his earlobe in silence and then smirked and laughed when he saw the light blood on his fingers.

“The couch must be very old.”

Once again, the gaze of the two men entangled in the air. This time, I didn’t think it would work even if I made an absurd comment.

I had never seen Felix so angry before. Where the hell did all that emotion come from?

By the time the suffocating sense of terror ran through my whole body, Benjamin spoke to Felix with his eyes pinned on him.

“In the rice field there lies the eyes of a hypocrite who deceives desires. If you peel off the smooth shell and dig down to the bottom, the essence will be the same monster as me.”

“…….”

“You have to do what you want to do. Isn’t it right? It’s the creed of the spirit. Happiness is something that oneself wins from oppression. That’s how I’ve lived all my life.”

Benjamin spoke in a soft tone that did not suit him and began to talk nonsense to us.

No, if you wanted to live and act on impulse, instead of being born as a person, you would just be born as a beast. It was such an absurd logic that I had nothing to say about it.

“I also have my own desires. Is there anyone who doesn’t have such a thing?”

“Oh, I’ve heard of it. You’ve made it clear that yours is about money. It’s nice to be honest with your desires.”

Oh, he heard it well.

Well, I had been making it very obvious. As I imagined what rumors Benjamin must have heard about, he went on.

“Actually, the Chamberlains aren’t the only one in the world who can afford it.”

Everyone knew his identity. He pulled up the corners of his mouth.

As the ruler of the underworld, it wouldn’t be a bluff, but…….

I really didn’t know how to react. You wanted me to transfer to a nuclear waste like you just because you have more money?

I wasn’t even shot in the head4. So why would I make such a crazy judgment?

“I’m sure it all began because of money.”

Well, I wouldn’t deny that. I was a human who was faithful to my desires.

However, despite being constantly overwhelmed by desire, I had a firm belief.

Once a person entered my heart, even if everything that originally made up that person changed and disappeared, I would accept them.

“Even if they become dog fur, I will remain by the Chamberlain’s side until the very end.”

“You will regret it.”

“Never.”

“Then, be willing to accept the consequences of your choice. I will listen to the shell of a hypocrite with my own hands.”

‘You’ll see all the way down to the bottom yourself. With your own eyes.’

Benjamin declared war openly in front of me that Felix would become the devil. Of course, he said it because he thought I would not understand it.

Ah……. Thank you for the hint.

I will be ready.

“I began this with the determination to accept no matter what was at the bottom.”

After saying that, I took Felix by the hand and walked out.

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T/N: Thanks for your patience everyone! (So sorry about the late post again! There was a range of reasons but I won’t dwell on it. My apologies again!)

(Did you notice there are fewer footnotes this time? XD Luckily this chapter was an easier chapter ahaha). Please enjoy the next few chapters~💜

1. When words “pour out” it means that to freely express (an emotion) and/or to talk freely about (something personal)↩

2. “Thorn in her side” is to be a constant or persistent cause of annoyance, frustration, or trouble for one.↩

3. To “hold (held) it together” means to remain calm and composed, especially in the face of adversity/crisis.↩

4. The idiom “shot in the head” means to really like something e.g. similar to being smitten.↩

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