To Live Again, For The First Time! Chapter 193
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"Teacher, how can you say that about me?" Emilin blinked twice in succession with her eyes drooping as if tears were about to be shed.
"Of course I'm not a psycho," Emilin claimed full-heartedly.
She could admit that she was probably a little messed up in some aspects, but who wasn't?
Such a big jump in assumptions hurt Emilin's feelings.
Mason saw how hurt his student was and instantly regretted his words.
He may have been a little excessive, but it was a real worry of his, okay?
"Okay, okay, how about you just tell me what you meant and explain it extensively," Mason sighed and relented.
If it had something to do with photography, he may be able to help, but if it had something to do with the body, such as hand tremors or something psychological, Mason felt like he was probably more useless than a pig.
Emilin paused for a bit to reorganize her thoughts and emotions as well as to get a better feel of what it was that she had been feeling moments ago.
"It's probably best if I use the example, right?" She mumbled to herself.
She took out the photo that she had been holding on to since the first time she got that fervent itch in her hand when handling the camera which gave her that inexplicable feeling.
She fished out the photo that she kept in her inside pocket and put it on the clean table.
It didn't seem old or worn out in the least.
"What is this?" Mason asked confusedly.
The photo was facing his way and it depicted a familiar scenery, but Mason couldn't quite pinpoint from where he found it familiar.
What he knew for sure though was that it was incredibly eye-catching, so much so that Mason couldn't turn his eyes away.
For a moment, he was in a daze.
All of a sudden, he felt the impulse to want to go to this location and see this scene for himself even if it were on the opposite side of the world.
It was a spontaneous thought, but somehow, just looking at this photo made him want to do something like that, something that he wouldn't normally do if he were in his right mind.
The best part of this was probably that Mason could tell that there were no filters or edits done on the photo.
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"Wow, this would be perfect for a traveling agency," Mason praised, thinking that if this could make someone want to leave the comfort of their homes to do something for once, then it was definitely worth at least that much praise and exposure.
Though of course, he was originally already someone who traveled quite a bit to garner some inspiration, but he felt like this time, it was different.
While he was still in a daze, Emilin's long finger tapped at the corner of the photo.
"This, I want to do it again, but nothing feels right anymore," Emilin said as if that would simply explain everything.
Instead, it just left Mason in surprise and even more so, in confusion.
'Why is my student talking as if she took this photo???'
It wasn't that Mason didn't believe in Emilin; he just didn't believe in her natural talent.
Looking at the photos sent to him, he was sure of it.
But had he missed some of them?
Were there treasures buried under that mountain of trash?
Or was it just luck?
A one-hit wonder?
Mason's eyes gleamed before they dimmed once again.
"How did this even happen?" Mason finally asked, a little exasperated.
When faced with such a scene, Emilin also didn't know what to say.
All she could do was explain as best she could.
She explained how she had gone to Mount Hemafuji for a trip for a breath of fresh air, taking her camera with her, only to realize she royally sucked at photography.
At that point in the explanation, Mason nodded knowingly.
Which prompted Emilin into a sad smile. :)
She explained how, despite everything, she still quite liked photography and that feeling of looking at everything through a lens.
Even more so to be able to remember such memories in the future when her memory was to fail her.
Mason felt a little strange at first, but then he nodded.
It was unusual in general to see someone pursue something they weren't good at, but it wasn't as if there weren't such people.
Then Emilin explained how that photo came to be, out of pure luck and completely out of the blue.
She didn't even think to claim that this had something to do with skill since there was no such thing to speak of.
Mason nodded in understanding.
"No wonder I found the scenery in the photo familiar." No hell! He had seen a couple hundred photos of that very same scenery.
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"You won't blame me for not seeing it amidst all the others, right? I'll be honest, I looked through a good 700 of them, but I still wasn't able to finish it all," Mason said in truth.
It wasn't that he didn't have the time, but he felt like his eyes would fall off if he looked any longer.
It wasn't really his fault either.
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't clear any of the photos out since I would rather you get a clear idea of my… skills, rather than a skewed one," Emilin said, hesitating on the word skills.
Not only that, but she also kept those photos in so that Mason could tell her what she was doing wrong.
In fact, she was already surprised enough that Mason had even looked through that many. She was sure if he just looked at perhaps a dozen or two, he would probably be able to find out most of what she was doing wrong.
Any more would probably only tell him how bad it was and which parts she was doing wrong more often than others.
She felt like he was already being dedicated enough, I mean, all this work was from someone who seemed to particularly enjoy pushing off the work from his real job to do other stuff.
Emilin was actually rather curious why he had accepted teaching her when it seemed to be such a fuss.
But she didn't ask.
"The thing is, though I want to do it again, it just doesn't come to me! I always feel like my palms are itching to the point of burning when I seek that feeling of that right moment, right motion, right people, right landscape, and right time," Emilin explained while looking at her hands.
She was sure that if she worked hard enough and studied, she would be able to at least become mediocre at some point in time, but she feared that her greed wouldn't allow her to settle down for that.
Now that she had felt such a joyous feeling, it would be hard to settle for mediocre.
It was similar to how if someone had always lived a lavish lifestyle and then suddenly went bankrupt, it would definitely be harder to adapt than someone who went from rags to riches.
Mason stared for a bit.
"I think I may know what the issue is…" Mason hesitated a little.
And there was a good reason for this hesitation too.
This was because, though he couldn't be completely sure, these were some symptoms he had before too.
It was just a little inconceivable that Emilin was having them at this point in time.
And if it was really what he thought it was, then it wasn't necessarily a good thing…
"Do you not know what stairs are?" Mason said exasperatedly before proceeding with the explanation.
***
Elijah and Liam were in the car parked at the side near the cat café.
The very same cat café that Xander and Emilin had been frequenting quite a bit due to their location which was right across from their apartments.
Though Elijah would love to barge in and ask who Margo had been seeing most frequently recently, he really couldn't do that.
Still, there were limited ways for him to get information in a short amount of time without exposing himself.
Did he really have to do it?
Did he really have to call that stingy teacher of his now?
"Well, this is annoying," he said in a deep voice.
"Liam, go inside and try to get the tape for the surveillance," Elijah said in annoyance.
It was not fun dealing with someone who could easily hack everything one could think of.
Though that didn't mean that they were completely out of options.
If the people they were looking for, either just Xander, Xander and Levi, Xander, Levi, and TWO, or someone else entirely, was to be investigating Margo, then they probably met more than just once or twice, right?
At some point, it wouldn't be too good if they hacked everything to make it look like they weren't there since real people would have seen them and it would only be more suspicious if they were the only ones who were never caught on camera.
It was just that it didn't change the fact that TWO and whoever it was that was working with him could still easily change how they looked on screen.
Most people wouldn't be paying that much attention.
But at least… it was better than nothing right?
Liam cried inwardly from being given such a task, but he still went without making a peep.
"Yes, Sir."
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