CHAPTER 63

Translator : Cuties ––– Editor : WilsonWilson

Evan came to the witch’s tower whenever he could.

I had to find Margarita and rescue him quickly. But with Evan coming to the tower every day and night whenever he had the time, finding and rescuing proved to be a very difficult task. Besides, Evan wasn’t just making simple visits.

“Evan.”

“Huh?”

As soon as he came, I called Evan, who was lying on my lap and staring up at the ceiling. He only answered with a naive look, as if he really knew nothing. That look was both ridiculous and mesmerizing, so I breathed a short sigh and said.

“If you keep coming to me like this, everyone will be suspicious.”

Then, he replied with an exaggerated look, as if there was no need to worry at all.

“It’s all right. Nobody’s looking for me now.”

As Evan said, no one came near his room, but if his tail was long, he would eventually be caught one day. If the emperor suddenly came into his room, how will he escape? How is he going to avoid his doubts?

“But still, Evan…”

My words didn’t go on till the end. Because he stretched out his arms and hugged me around the waist, afterward, he buried his face in my stomach, murmuring contentedly.

“Well, that’s good. This reminds me of the old days, right? I hugged Nyx a lot back then.”

No, never. I looked down at him with a look of bafflement. But with his eyes closed, before I knew it, he was burying his face with a smile of genuine satisfaction.

It was only three times that I had hugged little Evan. He was young at the time, but unlike other children, he was hurt and distanced himself from me because he did not trust people. It was hard to even see him smiling properly.

But what about now? The fact that it’s hard to see him smile properly still stands true to this day. But at the same time, his personality had changed dramatically. He spoke freely and got involved. This situation is strange now, so I couldn’t help but try to push him away, but he naturally clung to me.

He may have thought of me as a mother bird who protected him during his childhood, but I wasn’t. As long as there existed a young man who had grown from being a baby bird and has come to see me as a woman in my memory, then Evan will always be a man to me.

Of course, I know my situation well, and I know what will happen in the future, so I try to look at him with a parent’s heart who would put everything down for their child, but it didn’t work out well. Once he woke me up, I couldn’t easily go back to my previous comatose-like state. So I yearned for death even more. I know it won’t end otherwise.

Before I knew it, he was asleep, emitting the sound of steady breathing.

I eventually gave up pushing him away and gave a short sigh. In fact, it couldn’t have been bad. No, it was rather good. A strange throbbing covered me, and warmth poured in from where Evan touched me. His temperature filled my empty chest.

When did he grow up like this? I looked down at his face and was struck with unfamiliarity. I watched him grow up, but it felt odd to see him all matured like this so closely for the second time. It was strange that he became such a big and reliable man. Indeed, human time was too fast. So it felt all the more shorter for me. I couldn’t stand by for that short time. He was very cruel to make me spend such a short but intense time. The cruelty was not going to go away. Not until he had finished my life with his own hands.

*

Water that came from a place unknown had wet my feet.

As I casually looked down, I realized that the water was very red. The water, which had been flowing ceaselessly, became more and more solid. It wet my feet, wet my knees, and soon, wet my back. I groaned at the red water that came up to my waist. There was a pungent metallic smell. It wasn’t just water; it was blood.

It had already turned into a river of blood. And something floated down the current. It was a man. No, it was a corpse. His face was white, and his eyes were wide open. He had been cooled down alarmingly, but the feelings in his eyes didn’t go away; fear and terror. It was the last expression the dead human had made before losing his life.

One by one, the number of bodies that had been washed away increased to dozens and hundreds. I turned around and ran off to avoid it, but my feet didn’t move well. As they were submerged in the water, they became heavy and hard to control. In the meantime, the bodies that came by the swift current finally surrounded me.

But the bodies were somehow familiar. I found a familiar face among them, and I eventually shut my mouth. The woman who was brutally mutilated was the woman I had killed—a woman who was sacrificed for the wrath of Count Phyletto, for the war between the nobles. I couldn’t place the guilt of murder on Ruadhan, and so I killed her myself with my own hands…

– I don’t want to die.

An eerie voice stupefied me.

– Help me.

– I didn’t do anything wrong…

– Nothing, nothing…

– Why should I suffer this pain?

The voices, which had been bursting out one or two words at a time, suddenly turned into a roar. The bodies were all victims of this incident—those who died because of me, those whom I killed.

“No. You would’ve died even if it weren’t for me. It was a war that would have happened one day. I’m sure it was going to be like this. Be it war or subjugation, you, or your children, you’d have still ended up with the same ending!”

I screamed with fear. I knew it was an excuse I made for myself. But I felt it was unfair, too.

“Why? Why only me? You killed me, too. You’ve killed and killed me again and again. I was hurt more than you. It was more painful for me each time. It was worse and more painful!”

– I want to live.

– I don’t want to die…

“Stop it. Please don’t do this. I didn’t want to either. Me, too. I really… I didn’t want anyone to be hurt. I wish it could have ended with one…”

Suddenly, something twirled around my leg. I pulled it hard. I fell into the blood. It was all red all around. I couldn’t breathe, so I tried to get out, but countless hands pulled me down.

– I resent you, I resent you.

Before I knew it, the bodies were staring at me with their eyes open. It was terrible. I was afraid of the wrongs I did to them by causing their deaths. One day they would have died, no, they actually had a hand in their own deaths, I knew it well. But no man deserves to die. And I don’t have the authority to kill them.

I was suffocating. Blood flowed in constantly through my nose and mouth. I struggled to get out, but it didn’t work. They’ve been getting more and more tied to me—heavy, fearful, and distressed.

“…x!”

At that moment, a ray of light came down upon the blood. The light reached me across the water.

“Nyx!”

“Gasp!”

“Nyx, are you awake? Let me see, are you all right?”

I looked at Evan breathlessly. He was looking down at me with anxious eyes. His white hair shone like sunlight. A little while ago, it had felt like a ray of light, shining on me in the blood.

His red eyes reminded me of the river of blood that had devoured me. I shuddered as I was captured in them. He seemed to have come to both save and punish me.

“Nyx, did you have a nightmare? It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. Huh? I’m right next to you.”

Evan stroked my face and hair with a very careful and friendly touch. It was warm and soft. He was looking at me and comforting me, as if he were dealing with a baby. I felt like I was about to cry. My eyes stung. I bit my lips and held back my tears.

He wrapped my cheeks in both palms. Then, he came a little closer and inspected my face. I closed my eyes tightly, fearing that he might catch this feeling that I wanted to cry, that I might cry at any moment. I didn’t want to show any emotion, but I couldn’t afford a composed face.

At that moment, something touched my eyes. It was soft and warm. It fell so quickly that I wondered if it was an illusion. When I opened my eyes, Evan’s red eyes were right in front of mine. He was so close that I stopped breathing. He came a little closer. I closed my eyes unknowingly, and something touched me again in the same place it had touched just now. Light as a feather, it gently touched my eyelids before falling apart.

It didn’t take me much time to realize what it was.

My body began to tremble. I couldn’t believe the current situation, so I began wondering if this was all a dream.

He held me in his arms. His chest was very wide, to the point where I could drown in them. And his arms were also very long and hard, enough to wrap around me. I leaned against his chest and listened quietly to his heartbeat. I felt like it had calmed me down quickly. My trembling body had already gotten more stable.

“You gave me strength whenever I was having a hard time, whenever I was in pain. Now, it’s my turn. For that, I’ll be by your side.”

When I heard his voice vibrating throughout his body, it felt as if I was caught in a dream. I held back my sobbing. It wasn’t because I felt relieved. I didn’t feel like I had someone to protect me from my dream.

It was painful. My heart was broken. All this was my sin. It was such a sin that would never be redeemed, and there was no way to atone for it. The fear shouldn’t have disappeared so easily. It should not have been this easy to feel safe and lighthearted just by being in Evan’s arms.

The witch had to suffer, right until her very last breath.

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