Chapter 12: The Empty Valley

There was a valley where winds blew across the green fields; it had flowers of various colors swaying against the breeze. The sky's glimmer blanketed by fluffy clouds; which various shapes of animals could be made of. Rows and rows of craggy hills covered by green vegetation formed a pass towards the great unknown. Even from the vast distance, I could not see its end.

I sat there on the soft, lush, verdant grasses; losing myself in this environment. Various butterflies and bees I saw floating around the flowers. At times the sunlight rendered many picturesque sceneries of the blooming vegetation; the contours of the cliffs highlighted in a way I couldn't help but admire.

I inhaled the afternoon air, the heat rising from the sun rays and the chill morning air seeped through my throat, filling my lungs to the brim. With the calming cool spreading to my body, I slowly exhaled; expanding my stomach and letting go of all my worries along it.

There were the sounds of the wind; the plethora of scent from the flowers and the grasses which formed a natural cushion.

I laid my whole body to the Earth; I knew it would gently receive me.

My voices were told; my voices were heard. Yet, I never found someone who'd understand.

I could not help but think, despite my efforts, I would always end up being someone inferior to everyone else.

I knew in the end, it was not important. My goal was not to be appreciated. I knew it was wrong in the first place to let my happiness be decided by someone else.

Whether or not I had talent should not dictate my happiness. I should be happy because I keep sticking to what I love the most.

Yet, I was too hung up on this. I was really pathetic—was this the result of being a mere human? That I end up placing hopes in others too much, even if my conscious mind tells no?

If so? What were my goals in the first place?

The clouds obscured the shining fields of flowers and the sky was getting dark. I felt the humidity rising in the air; I could even smell the vapors of water drifting toward heavens above.

Sounds of dripping echoed from the depths of my ears. It was a constant, slow celestial drop. Majority of them gracing the Earth were small and its shower didn't really intrude my immersion.

One among them was colossal; I could even see the reflection of my childhood self in it.

"What did you want to do when you grow up?"

"A mechanic!"

What nonsense.

I really hadn't given a thought of it at all during that time. Not that it matters in the end.

The raindrop splashed across the ground; dripping the flowers wet; some of them even starting to wilt.

Another one of these raindrops fell.

It was about me on phone with my parents.

"Please be more realistic!"

The me on that reflection did not even try to listen anymore and just distanced the phone away until the one on the other side stopped talking.

This time the raindrop did not even reach the ground before it splashed in mid-air, into countless smaller droplets pouring on all directions; few of them drenched me and the feeling from it wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

More flowers began to wilt and I notice, the once beautiful valley were devoid of most of its vegetation.

Yet, even so, this valley would always be a beautiful place for me.

The last teardrop was the biggest of them all. I could see something very similar to my daily life.

Working without any signs of an end; so little time to pursue what little passion I had left; looking just like a zombie.

The last drop sent the entire valley drowning; including me; as if desperately trying to pull me back to reality.

..but no matter how much you drag me down and beat me up, I still survived.

I still hadn't killed myself yet and I never planned to, at least not now. It's too troublesome and painful. If there was a surefire way with least pain and most convenience, I'd probably be gone a long time ago. I'm just too lazy.

Whenever possible, I tried focusing on feeling happiness and pursued things that brought me joy.

Sorry, but for now, you have lost again.

The streams no longer able to swept me into its flow. Even with the lack of air and the water filling up my entire orifice, I knew I wouldn't die.

I knew full well this place ain't reality, that's why I did not need to shackle myself with the laws of science and common sense. I like this place.

While it was sad this valley was now desolate, without any trace of beauty it once had, it was okay.

With my whole body drenched, I woke up against the hard, withered ground riddled with cracks. The air was filled with dust; it made me cough every now and then. It was also hurting my eyes to keep them wide open.

Everything was desolate; yet, it wasn't over. More like, it's just the beginning.

Even if reality took away your beauty, I could always remake you from the scratch. It was only natural to put that much effort.

It's all because you accepted me for who I am, while others kept on forcing me to be someone I hate.

I'm sorry for paying too much attention to someone who kept neglecting me, while because of me, you were reduced into such sorry state.

It's because I could remake you and all the other [Tranquil Places] out there, that I could realize: my dream was just a simple step away from the open door and I'm here to realize it, one by one.

Thanks for reminding me once more.

My smile turned brighter as, in the desolate valley, a small flower started blooming.

When at the first glance, it looked rather plain, when I looked closer—well it's still plain.

Yet, it's the same plain flower which would pave the way for an even more beautiful valley. While it would eventually be forgotten as something more interesting came across--I hope I could still remember this flower's story as I paved a new path for myself alone.