《The Unnamed God. I’m Really Not A God You Guys !》The Unnamed God. I'm Really Not A God You Guys !
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The challenge begins!
No drum roll, no overhyped commentator, no cheering from the crowd.
Can it even be considered a real challenge?
Also, what is the time limit?
[Right, how long do we even have?]
"Take your time, this isn't a race."
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Oh my god.
I just thought of something amazing.
Divine power lets me survive without eating, drinking, or anything similar.
At least as far as I can tell.
I could totally refuse to pick anything and play an endurance game!
If it ever comes a day that my opponent is more skilled than me, I'll do that.
But not today!
I have a cheat!
X-Ray vision activate!
Wait, does that make me a superhero?
Oh my god!
Ah, but I don't go everywhere being heroic.
Too much of a pain.
I guess there is being a supervillain.
Meh, too troublesome.
I slowly inspect every rock there is.
There are a few hundred in the courtyard.
I nonchalantly get 10 with the coolest looking gems inside.
That will do.
Before long I am done.
"You should take your time. Speed isn't related to true skill."
[Sure.]
"These are your 10 rocks?"
[Yep.]
"You don't want to reconsider?]
[Nope.]
I can hear some people calling me foolish.
Others are talking about how I probably entered this for the fun.
There is no shame for a newbie to lose to a professional after all.
That guy is slowly going around every rock and…
Posing.
I want to say that he is using a mystical technique...
But seriously all he does is wander around and pose.
Pretty sure he's trying to woo that attendant girl.
Always turning his side profile for her to see him well.
Meanwhile, I'm just petting Wolfie.
[How about we open my stones and I just leave?]
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"No way! I will compete fairly!"
What's with that guy?
He's supposed to be arrogant, unruly, and tyrannical…
But actually, he's just foul-mouthed, isn't he?
I keep waiting.
I can now somehow relate to our judge.
He kept trying and getting denied.
Now that I think about it, wouldn't this be way more fun with magic involved?
What's the point of blindly guessing?
Plot twist this was all designed with a purpose to train the instincts of the younger generation.
Feel the heart of the rock kind of thing?
What are the chances of one of these turning out to be a DudeGeo?
I don't know.
Still, it feels dumb to me.
After what feels like an eternity he is finally done.
This is the moment of truth.
The tension is palpable.
Or not…
I already know the outcome.
Overall 8/10 of his contain gems.
The last 2 being duds.
This is a very respectable result, to be honest.
[So how do we open these actually?]
"We'll slowly open each. It won't take long. Only a few minutes each."
Wait, we'll still have to wait an hour or more, no?
Had I known I wouldn't have accepted.
[How about calling it a day and …]
"No way! Challenges are sacred!"
[Look, how about we simply call it a draw and end it there?]
"*Scoff* As if I would accept such a thing!"
[Look, it will take lots of time, then you'll lose and it won't even serve any purpose.]
"What do you mean?"
[I thought this was going to be fast you know, just some side-fun.]
"Oh, I see. You are trying to get inside my head. To make me admit a draw."
[*Sigh* Fine we'll wait. Ah, can we just skip these 2 rocks since they are totally empty?]
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"As if!"
Thus I go back to petting Wolfie.
In the meantime, a professional starts working on a small stage.
He is slowly peeling layers upon layers of the outer surfaces.
Every gem that appears provokes exclamations from the crowd.
About the type of gem it is.
About how valuable it is.
About all kinds of stuff.
Frankly, I'm not following any of it.
After a long while, my opponent's rocks are all done unveiling.
The crowd is urging me to admit defeat.
After all, an 80% ratio is apparently almost unbeatable.
Meanwhile, my opponent is looking pensively at me.
Guess he has realized that my prediction came true.
Time for my own selection.
I keep looking at the employee working on it.
How long before he extracts all the gems?
Yeah, fuck it.
I approach the stage.
"Customers are not allowed here and…"
[Friend, this is taking too long. Got a sword?]
"What, no I don't?"
[Manager, what about you?]
He orders a subordinate to bring me one.
This will go faster than the short tool he uses.
Then I start peeling.
Using divine energy to cut through the hard layers like butter.
Cutting most of the excess and leaving only small rocky chunks with gems inside.
Then I hand it all back.
[Alright, now you finish it.]
I get down while people are calling me a madman.
Saying how I could have potentially wasted something extremely valuable.
Well, that's at first.
With every new gem that appears their reactions change.
Slight surprise.
Curiosity.
Confusion.
Bafflement.
Insanity.
I'd keep going, but after the fifth gem, they are already losing their shit.
I mean 50% success rate is already enough to give a nice profit even if all the other ones are a dud.
At first, it actually isn't that bad.
But then one guy reminds them of how I expertly cut the excess.
As if I knew exactly what was inside.
Now they are talking about me having a gift for it.
Something about an amazing intuition.
One guy even says something about the ability to talk to rocks.
What the hell?!
For some reason, I can only picture this going one way.
The rock going: Human, know what? I'm rock hard! Get it? Rock!
Don't ask me why.
Then it is finally over.
The whole courtyard is silent.
Until finally.
*THUD*
"ARG, my elbows aren't as good as they used to be."
You can always count on that guy to break an awkward silence.
Or any silence for that matter.
It seems as if they were all waiting for that.
The crowd erupts in a cacophony.
Something about a new rising star.
Something about me being awesome.
Something about hiring me.
They forgot handsome.
Oh well, I won't hold it against them.
They are too excited is all.
Now, can I collect my reward?
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