《The Unnamed God. I’m Really Not A God You Guys !》The Unnamed God. I'm Really Not A God You Guys !
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They want to charge me everything I own to drink?
[So let me get this straight. By ordering this drink everyone can drink at my expense? Meanwhile how much can I drink myself?]
She giggles.
"You can drink as much as you want with that option. Until you pass out that is. You aren't allowed to use any recovery item or magic, however."
Oh my god.
Wait, wouldn't it be possible to just drink infinitely if you only bring a small sum?
The polite guy seems to read my mind.
"Friend, there is a gold requirement to enter. You surprisingly are pretty rich, aren't you! Don't tell me that's all you own?"
I silently nod while he shakes his head.
[Young and cute waitress, how about you get your boss here? I won't ask for much. Just a slight refund so I can afford a place to live tonight.]
She nods and skips away.
Coming with a bearded man.
"I've heard it all from my staff haha."
[Nice does this mean that…?]
"Nope, no refund. This is a sacred tradition after all."
[*Threatening* Are you sure?]
"Boy don't try this with me. This is a city custom. Not the system nor any of the rulers would take your side."
*Sigh* I understand.
I was trying to be nice here.
Is my kindness forever to be misunderstood?
Just watch me.
Imma drink it all!
"Boss! We just received the new shipment of booze for the month!"
Even heaven itself is helping me.
He leaves in a hurry with a huge grin on his smile.
I just spent all of the wealth I looted from the thugs right there.
It gotta add up to a nice profit.
Well, just this once he miscalculated.
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Divine energy is invisible to most.
In any case, I doubt a tavern owner or an automated system would detect it.
*Chuckle*
The youngsters look at me worriedly.
"Are you alright? Don't take it to heart one can always make some more money!"
[Don't misunderstand you guys. I'm not laughing because I went insane haha.]
"Then why?!"
[What did you guys think of my attempt at getting my wealth back?]
They seem to be hesitating.
[Be honest.]
"A futile and pointless attempt."
[Hehe. You see I was simply trying to give them a path of survival. Now I feel no regret for what is about to happen.]
I can't help myself but chuckle.
The typical evil demon lord chuckle.
The other patrons are shaking their heads.
[What about you guys? Do you find me pitiful?]
They break eye contact.
Well, all except one guy in the back that gives me a big thumbs up.
I reply in kind.
He seems surprised by my enthusiasm.
They all think I just lost a lot after all.
They will be proven wrong soon.
Then I start drinking.
I chug the whole glass instantly.
[More!]
Waitresses get busy and fill my cup up before leaving.
[You might want to get more alcohol ready. I am only beginning.]
"Sir don't overdo it."
"Yeah, man. Dying from intoxication is really lame. Not worth it no matter what."
I keep chugging.
The more they bring me the more disappears.
My stomach a bottomless hole.
How does it all work?
Not sure, divine energy fuckery.
It just does.
The more time passes the more intense the gallery's reaction.
From being slightly surprised to becoming completely baffled.
People wondering what kind of magic I am using to make this possible.
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They obviously know something is up.
It is impossible for a human to drink this much.
Cleary is impossible.
Yet I'm currently doing it.
It's not cheating if they can't prove it haha.
"Brother, can I ask you something?"
[What's up?]
"What are you?!"
[Hehe, you see I am a dragon amongst men. My feats resounding across the whole world.]
"Wow!"
[Do you believe me?]
"Of course, I'm not blind."
Ah, this feels great.
See how op I am!
Alright, being able to drink a lot may not be the most impressive.
Still, it is something.
Champions have stuff like the cultivation guy.
Things like flying on swords.
Meanwhile, I'm here like …I can drink.
My heroic catchphrase could be: Stay hydrated!
Meh, whatever.
I have gotten through enough alcohol to fill up a small pool completely.
But I won't stop right now.
The waitresses are freaking out.
I drink faster than they can fill.
The more it goes the more staff needs to stay at our table.
Their only job is to pour endlessly.
It isn't long before they run out completely.
They have no choice but to go find the manager.
Get him to bring out his reserves.
He comes back puzzled.
"What is the fuss even about?"
Then he sees the situation.
At first, there is that short moment of confusion.
Wondering how all of it happened.
Then a girl whispers in his ear.
He looks at me.
He looks at the empty kegs.
It was at that very moment he knew he fucked up.
"That, Sir. Maybe we can come to an arrangement and…?"
[Don't worry I am no troublemaker. I wouldn't want to go against tradition.]
"That actually it's fine if…"
[No, I insist. I am a virtuous and morally upright individual after all.]
"Of course, but…"
[Don't worry. No matter what I will keep drinking. I won't disrespect you by asking for a refund anymore. I shall keep drinking.]
"That, it really isn't…"
[Now, I heard you just received a month worth of shipment. Talk about great timing!]
"*Gasp*"
I can see the horror in his eyes.
He has just realized that I am not close to being done.
"T-that, how about we stop right now? I am really getting worried for your health, Sir!"
[Haha, no need to worry about me! I am valiant and undefeatable! Now, I will wait for the next round!]
The now listless owner drags his feet heading in the back store.
I can hear faint sobbing sounds.
Must be my imagination.
Actually, probably not.
That guy is probably happy I am so respectful of tradition.
So incredibly happy he is now sobbing.
Oh well, this is but part one of my plans.
Part two will be extremely fun.
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All different types of original poetry.
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