《The Unnamed God. I’m Really Not A God You Guys !》The Unnamed God. I'm Really Not A God You Guys !
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This is your host the sect master of The Unnamed God Sect. Today I am surrounded by many burly men. About 30 of them, all bandits. They are all looking at the purses I took from the merchants.
I protest! This should be my rightful remuneration as a robbery counselor! Will I be fine and keep the coin? Just need to think positively. In the old world, I've seen many times a single girl take on that many men alone! I can definitely do it too! Of course, the context was a bit different if you know what I mean.
Okay seriously let me consider my chances. Thirty bandits versus me, Wolfie, Sun guy, and the unicorn. Wolfie won't be able to fight for sure. Sun guy might be strong since he did say that usually, he would help defend against bandits. Still better not to rely on him too much just in case.
As for me, I might be useless in a fight but I can survive long enough to keep them busy. Then the unicorn can go ROAD ROLLER! on their asses from behind.
Yep, that sounds like a plan. We can definitely fight them if it comes to that. Now is it worth it for me to fight them for a few coins? Usually, I would say no, but for once we are about to head to a new city. In the wild money doesn't mean much, but there it could help a lot.
Conclusion I will try and keep the gold but without fighting. If they do decide to attack I might just take that jewel too while at it. Then again, it's probably better for me if I don't steal the actually important loot.
The merchant was probably bluffing about having an army at his beck and call, but there is still a chance we'd be hunted. I get the feeling that jewel might just be more important than that dude's life.
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Yep, better go low benefit and low trouble. In every story, the characters are always going from power up to power up and taking many risks. In real life that is bullshit. After all, there is no such thing as plot armor existing. If you keep braving death at some point you'll eventually mess up and die.
The bandit leader comes in front of me.
"Friend, thank you for the tips earlier, but how about leaving the gold behind? You guys will be free to leave afterward with your wolf and your …donkey."
He's looking straight into my eyes.
Ah, I might not look at it, but I used to be a staring contest champion! Well, mostly unofficial one. I mean who has time to go to any real competition for such a thing?!
I stare at him back.
Meanwhile, I am smiling thinking to myself I have a backer hahaha. If he tries anything he will get destroyed! She can reduce skeletons to dust. Pretty sure humans don't fare well with no bones.
You want to look at me intensely? Well, guess what bitch! When you look into the abyss the abyss stares back at you! For anyone wondering that was my staring unofficial contest nickname. The abyss. Well mostly because sometimes I had a vacant look when thinking…and a bottomless abyss looks empty too. Wait ...now that I think about it…weren't my coworkers insulting me?! Oh my god!
So we keep staring at each other, but I'm definitely staring harder!
Don't ask me how! I am for sure!
"Chief, are we robbing him or what?"
"What are you guys doing?"
"What about the naked merchants, are we supposed to do anything about them?"
We come to a tacit understanding. None of us is answering the random questions. We simply keep staring at each other.
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I can see a pearl of sweat slowly run along from his forehead to his chin. Ah! See this is the power of divine energy! I can do this all day and night baby! I've got lots of endurance!
I can see his eyelids starting to shake. Then he gives a cough trying to distract me and blinks. Damn, that man is a professional…but I still see through it! Still, he keeps staring at me not giving up. Maybe blinking is actually allowed? Who knows.
It's fine. I will keep staring at him until his very soul starts to crumble. It seems pretty poetic when I say it like that, but actually, I doubt this can happen. I would need some kind of mental attack ability.
That would be super cool. Could you picture the ability to drop canon fodders by simply looking at them? Would make for a good story. I am just a simple village boy, but I awakened a power that lets me defeat anyone by looking at them. That would be kinda epic. The main character's nemesis would be a sentient mirror! DUN-DUN-DUN!
So we stare and we stare. Until finally…
"Alright, you guys can go! Take care on your journey!"
Hell yeah! I will take that as my win! Who said knowing how to stare well wouldn't come in handy? There are no useless skills there are only useless people. See! Fucking see this! I totally saved us from this situation with my quick wits! I mean the unicorn could have wiped the floor with them but still.
[Later all, make sure you work hard on becoming better bandits. Right now you guys lack style for sure. I will be expecting more of you guys the next time we meet!]
He seems confused at first, but then their chief is waving goodbye at us.
As we leave gracefully, I can hear that one naked asshole merchant complaining about why they are letting go. Please he wouldn't understand. We fought a valiant battle between men. I simply came out victorious.
**** (POV)
"Hum…chief? What the fuck was that? Why did we let them go?"
"Yes, chief why?"
" He did take a good portion of the coins!"
"He might have tried to help us but we didn't need him at all, it would have already been nice not to rob them we didn't need to…"
"Boys listen up. Let this be a lesson in life. Never, and I absolutely mean never ever, mess with someone like that man! Anyone able to look THAT confident while having his junk out shouldn't be messed with! Ever!"
*Various gasps of realization*
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