《Dungeons Are Bad Business》Chapter 25: A Day Off, A Night Standing Guard

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With one* exception, Crestheart’s first week as a proper dungeon came to a close without any major issues. As expected, the flow of adventurers had slowed down, with most days seeing less than ten runs attempted. Alforde had only been bested two more times – once by a fiendishly quick [Rogue] that he hadn’t been able to hit and once by a hulking ogre [Berserker] who didn’t budge an inch even after being hit by the armorsoul’s [Cyclone Smash] – which meant that on paper, the dungeon was doing pretty well. Positive fleur flow! For now.

That didn’t really mean much though. Eventually, Sacre would start calling in his debts, but Vee hadn’t heard from or seen the man or any of his various underlings yet. It wasn’t like he was going to go seek them out, either. Alforde had heard some rumors from the local [Bookseller] that there was some tension between Sacre and a figure known only as “The Don”, and Vee figured that staying as far away as humanly possible from gangland rumbles was a good course of action. He quite liked having all of his body parts, thank you very much.

It was Friarsday afternoon, and Vee, Alforde and Reginald were busy closing down the dungeon. Tomorrow was a day of rest in Oar’s Crest, and so no adventurers were scheduled to come and challenge the dungeon.

That was fine by Vee. He had a pile of wood and scrap metal to sort through. Though he definitely didn’t have the skills required to build lab equipment for himself, he was hoping that at least some of the materials his orchestra had brought were suitable to be used. He didn’t need the equipment to be fancy, just functional. Putting it together was going to require the skills of a [Carpenter], but he’d worry about finding one later.

With Alforde’s help, Vee managed to sift through roughly half the pile, and he found a few promising pieces. He directed his fiends to discard the rest into the same heap as the rest of the trash from the street, and asked Alforde to carry the good stuff up to the floor right beneath the office. That was where he’d eventually make his lab. What he was going to do with the other eleven floors was still a mystery.

Speaking of the trash on the street, there was still a long way to go, but a week’s worth of the orchestra’s attention was already noticeable. Now instead of a feeling akin to trudging through snow, walking to and from the dungeon was something like walking in mud. Sticky and slow going, but doable. However, that progress came with a price, because the discard pile was pretty close to the barriers next to Crestheart. It didn’t smell too bad, yet, but Vee was sure that once the warmer months of the year started coming around it would have to be dealt with. The rotting stench of garbage wasn’t exactly in line with the spirit of dungeon challenges.

Reginald had suggested using some of the lesser fire elementals to incinerate the stuff, but Vee wasn’t sure that’d smell much better and he was pretty sure that burning things would require a permit or something from the council. He’d have to look into that, though the prospect of dealing with that jerk Seidon again wasn’t the least bit appealing. There still hadn’t been any sort of second newspaper article that properly credited Vee as the driving force behind Crestheart, but the council had taken down all of their ridiculous banners and decorations so it balanced out. Sort of.

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“Some people will say anything when you’re holding them out a window,” Vee muttered.

When he and Alforde got back into town, Vee was craving something sweet, so they went and got a bag of orange cream candy from Joleimna. The salamander grinned at them as he refused Vee’s fleurs and let him take the candy for free.

“It’s the least I can do. I’m making great money with those sugar hats,” the [Candy Man] said. “There have been a couple days where I haven’t been able to keep up with the demand for them. Business is better than it’s been in years!”

He gave Vee one as a sample – apparently today wasn’t one of those days where they’d sold out - and it was pretty good. Not too lemony, with just the perfect amount of crunch. He thanked Joleimna and followed Alforde to go sit down next to the statue of Pielbrayne and eat his other candy. As he did so, he watched the people scurrying around the market. They bustled from vendor to vendor to get last minute goods and supplies for tomorrow’s holiday, but frequently stopped and chatted with one another. Vee couldn’t believe his eyes. Back home in Bardis, talking to someone besides the shopkeeper while you were out and about simply wasn’t done. Everyone was busy and nobody cared what you had to say anyways. The Bardis freeze, visitors called it.

Vee smiled. He quite liked the change.

Alforde opened the compartment on his chest and drew out a book. It was, according to the back flap, “A Harrowing Tale of Murder and Intrigue”. Vee let his friend read while continuing to look around the market. It was chaotic and busy, but there was a peace and a melancholy too that was refreshing in its own way.

They sat there until the sun had long since set and the air started to chill. Then, they stood up and went back to Sculla’s, where they were required to carry half a dozen boxes of supplies down into the basement. Vee managed to carry one box all the way down by himself, which was pleasantly surprising.

[Might +1]

[Your strength grows! You can now do more physical work before getting tired.]

The boost didn’t seem to count for much though, as Vee was pretty sure he couldn’t carry another box more than a few inches at most. Like always, Alforde took care of the rest.

Vee walked up the stairs by himself, pausing only to chat briefly with Mr. Watson, who invited him and Alforde to come over and watch a celebrity dungeon run on his vision sphere sometime. That never would have happened back home either.

***

“What do you mean the gate can’t be opened today?” Vee asked after the [City Guard] on duty refused to let him and Alforde go to Crestheart.

“Sorry, sir. Since it’s a holiday today, we’re not allowed to open the gates except in the event of an emergency. Council’s orders.”

Vee was tempted to tell the man exactly what he thought about the council’s orders, but managed to keep his cool. It wasn’t the guard’s fault that the gate had to stay closed today, after all.

Losing a day’s worth of work time on his lab was frustrating, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Heck, it might even be a good thing to have the day off. How long had it been since he’d last wasted hours sitting around and doing nothing? Since he couldn’t immediately remember it, it must have been weeks. Honestly though, he didn’t even know what he was going to do with this gift of free time. If they went back to Sculla’s, he could keep working on his ghost hands. His current prototype had three fingers and a thumb, and managed a grip about as strong as a firm handshake.

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The table wasn’t a perfect working surface, but it was much better than the floor of the office in the tower. Without having to worry about keeping the dungeon doors running smoothly, he’d really be able to focus.

But spending the day cooped up with ectoplasm didn’t feel quite right, either. The more Vee thought about it, the more he wanted to just relax.

“Let’s take a walk,” Alforde suggested when Vee floated the options by him. “We can go look around at the city a bit more. There’s still so much of it that we haven’t ever seen.”

That was true. Other than the places they frequented, most of Northtown might as well have been nothing more than a figment of Vee’s imagination. They’d seen maybe ten percent of the place, at most.

And so, the two friends spent a few hours wandering aimlessly through the city. Since it was a day of rest, the city was even more of a ghost town than usual, with all but a few shops closed and hardly anyone out on the street.

As they walked around the east side of Northtown, Vee noticed a stained glass image that had slipped down the window of a dark, abandoned shop that looked like it had once sold tobacco and other smoking accessories. Instead of a snail or a kitrekin’s paw – like he’d seen in Thien’s or the Grinning Pig – the dusty green and red glass formed the petals and stem of a flower Vee didn’t recognize except to know that it wasn’t a rose. A lily, maybe? Vee walked up to the window and pressed his face up to the glass. Something pushed back against him. The pressure was so slight at first that had he not been a [Ghost Maestro] and especially sensitive to the ethereal he might not have noticed it, but once he was aware of it he couldn’t focus on anything else. When he stepped back, it eased and eventually faded. That’s weird. It doesn’t look like there’s anything special inside. Just some old counters and shelves.

Vee looked at the neighboring businesses. They both bore the snail symbol in the upper corner of their windows, just like Thien’s shop. In fact, every other shop on the block did too. What was special about this old smoke shop? Why didn’t it have a snail in the window? What exactly did the snail even mean?

Thien had mentioned protection money. But who was it paid to?

“Sacre,” said Reginald, having clearly listened in on Vee’s thoughts once again. “The snail is Sacre’s sign.”

“What’s this flower mean, then?”

Reginald refused to answer.

[Quest Update: You have made the first connection into the secret of who collects protection money in Oar’s Crest.]

[Citizenship +1]

[Devious Mind +1]

They wandered on, and as they approached the southern part of Northtown, the stained glass snails were increasingly replaced by the kitrekin paw until none of the former remained. If the snails represented Sacre, then these paws had to be the symbol for “The Don”. A kitrekin [Crime Lord] or something, no doubt.

The buildings in this part of town looked less shabby and better taken care of. Their paint wasn’t completely weathered and peeling, and their windows were covered in grime. It wasn’t a huge difference, but Vee got a sense that the people who lived and worked in these places cared about them. At least a little bit.

Vee enjoyed walking as much as the next guy, but it’d been hours and feet ached. His back was starting to hurt too. He stopped and stretched.

“I think I’m good on exploring for the day,” he said to Alforde. “We can check out more places another time. Let’s go ahead and go back.”

“That’s fine with me. I can keep reading my book. I’m almost finished with it! The killer has just started monologuing, which means that it’s almost time for the main character’s love interest to swoop down from the chandelier and save the day.”

“How do you know what’s going to happen?”

“It’s pretty formulaic, but I’m having fun with it.”

As Alforde explained the ways that the book adhered to every one of his expectations, the friends made their way back to the market. No restaurants were open except for the Grinning Pig, and so Vee and Alforde stopped there for an early dinner. Vee skipped the emberberry wine this time.

They were the only people in the place, other than Big Simon, who bantered and joked with Reginald – who’d been eerily silent all day after mentioning Sacre – like they were old friends.

When they returned to the boarding house once more, Sculla was sitting where she always was, lit pipe in hand. A stack of smallish boxes was waiting next to the stoop.

Vee groaned. “And where do you want these? What the heck do you even need all these boxes for anyhow?”

The ogre took a long drag from her pipe and blew the smoke out towards Vee. “What I do with my boxes is none of your business, after you take them where I want them taken. But, for once, these aren’t mine. They’re yours. Got delivered right after you left this morning. By a [Griffon Carrier], too. Must be something fancy.”

Boxes? For him? What could they possibly – oh it must be the slimes! But they were supposed to be delivered to Crestheart, just like the lesser elementals had been. Why were they – Oh, right. The gate had been closed so they wouldn’t have been able to deliver the slimes to the dungeon. But couldn’t the griffon just fly over the gate? The carrier was probably afraid of the fiends.

Vee cursed.

Well, tomorrow he could go see if Nen or Cris was around and willing to help take the boxes over.

Vee looked over one the crates and saw the familiar insignia of the union, which confirmed his speculation. He pried off the lid from one of the boxes and found himself looking at a mass of tiny, writhing slimes. Each was so small that it easily fit in the palm of Vee’s hand.

They were kind of cute. In a squishy, monstrous sort of way. Gently, Vee put the slime back where it belonged and noticed a small envelope on the underside of the lid. He freed it from its binding and saw that it was a manual for proper slime care.

These slimes are young and will grow over time. The first sentence on the paper inside the envelope read. It then went on to list the best foods and habitats, and at the end had a line that filled Vee with existential dread.

In the event of an unplanned amalgamation, please have your [Dungeon Caretaker] contact the guild immediately.

An unplanned amalgamation? He could almost visualize what that might look like, and it wasn’t good.

[Devious Mind +1]

Worse though, he didn’t have a [Dungeon Caretaker], and there was no way he could afford to hire one. For now, he’d have to muddle through taking care of his new minions as best he could. Sigh. More problems for another time.

When he started to go up the stairs though, Sculla stopped him. “You don’t want to leave those out here, trust me. Things get stolen if they’re left out in the street for too long, and I’m pretty sure that if a bunch of slimes get down into the sewers and start breeding out of control, the council will hold you liable.”

“Well, what should I do with them then?” Vee asked. “There’s no way I can get anyone to come take them to the dungeon tonight. Can we put them downstairs for now?”

“No room downstairs, I’ve got some things down there that I don’t want disturbed.”

“But we don’t have anywhere else,” Vee said.

“Looks like you’re going to have to stand guard duty then,” the ogre said with a wicked smile. “I’ll bring you some coffee. You’re going to need it.”

And so, Vee and Alforde spent the entire night shivering and standing beside their boxes of slimes. Alforde practiced his hammer work, swinging Hammy around in giant circles. Vee kept his hands in his pockets, glaring at anybody and everybody who walked past.

Thankfully, no one tried to steal the boxes.

*Due to being distracted by his thoughts regarding the ghost hand prototypes, Vee forgot to unlock the door to the second room of the dungeon during an [Ironfist]’s run, and the adventurer decided to punch through the wall to advance. Luckily, it was the last run of the day and the heavy section of Vee’s orchestra was able to repair the damage before the next day’s first challenger. He’d gotten to use his [Recycle Materials] skill for the first time and it had worked quite well, though it left him with a splitting headache for the rest of the day, so he wasn’t keen to use it again any time soon.

Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 19

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 7

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 1

Might: 7 (+1)

Wit: 26

Faith: 15

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 7

Plotting: 8

Charisma: 2

Devious Mind: 12 (+2)

Leadership: 7

Guts: 3

Intimidating Presence: 3

Citizenship: 4 (+1)

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 14

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 9

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 8

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 4

Might: 28 (+1)

Wit: 10

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 6

Endurance: 8

Intimidating Presence: 7

Heart of a Champion: 2

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 1

Vigilance: 1 (+1)

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 30

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 4

Might: 1

Wit: 25

Faith: 3

Ambition: 23

Greed: 18

Deceptiveness: 32

[email protected]$: $%

[-------------------------]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 1

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