《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 47: All Purpose Cultural Catgirl
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Maybe it was a bit immature, but I insisted that Keke leave her room first when the morning came. Good thing, too, because just as she stepped outside, Cannoli was there.
“Good morning, Keke!” came Cannoli’s sweet voice.
“A-ah! G-good morning, Cannoli!”
Come on, Keke, keep it together. Don’t blow my cover this early.
“Ready for the most important meal of the day?”
“Y-yeah. Lead the way?” I caught the fleeting image of Keke walking away with a hand gesture. After the girls turned the corner and I could hear the sound of descending footsteps against the stairs, I exited the room and faced the door, shutting it quietly.
I looked off to where I saw Keke and Cannoli left.
Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go.
Then the footsteps of another came from behind me. I turned to see Ravyn, who I assumed saw the whole thing. “Good morning,” I said in the most natural way I could manage.
“Morning.” Ravyn didn’t give me so much as a glance as she walked by. She seemed focused on something else, chewing on the end of her thumbnail.
“You okay, Ravyn?”
Ravyn continued on her way and descended the staircase. I guess she’d tell us later.
When we were in our assigned seats, Ara came to each of us with a glass cup. Keke furrowed her brow, but Cannoli clasped her hands together with a sparkle in her eye.
“Smoothies?” I asked aloud.
Ara bowed, the metal tray held at her waist. “Yes, Master. I thought it prudent that something a bit more nutritious be supplied today.”
I lifted the cup and observed the violet liquid within. How in the hell could someone have the patience to make something like this without a blender? “How did you make this?”
“Oh! Oh! I know how!” Cannoli said, raising her hand. “It’s a painstaking process. You have to mass and beat every vegetable and fruit into a fine paste. You can use a big, long stick if you want, but I prefer a pestle!” Cannoli beamed and looked up at Ara for confirmation.
Ara stared blankly. “Why, yes. That’s exactly how I made it. You seem well versed in the matters of Cooking.”
Cannoli pressed the cup to her lips, passing looks between each of us. “I just love making delicious meals. Maybe you’ll let me cook with you sometime?”
Ara gaped. “I… I could not permit that, miss. Thank you so very much for the offer, though.” I raised my hand to speak, but a knock came at the door. Ara bowed briefly, then made a brisk escape to the front door.
Ravyn slid her glass across the table, away from her and toward Cannoli. “You can have mine.”
“Wah, really?”
“Hang on here,” I said without knowing what I could actually say without getting us in trouble. We still had no proof one way or the other that this place was listening in on us, so after a few seconds of deliberating, I put Ravyn on the spot instead. “You should really eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” she muttered.
“Something wrong?” Keke asked as she reached for Ravyn’s hand.
Ravyn swiftly removed her hands from the table and folded her arms. “I’m fine. I just want to leave. I’m not eating a smoothie. And the rest of you shouldn’t either.”
I see. So we’re going with that angle.
My mother had taught me the vices of wasting food, but considering our circumstances, I had to agree with Ravyn. Who knows what the stuff was laced with. I pushed my smoothie aside and put my hand around Cannoli’s glass. Cannoli grabbed hold of the cup.
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“We should get something a bit more filling, don’t you agree, Cannoli?” I said to her with raised brows.
Cannoli looked up at me, piercing my body with a concerned stare, her hand clamped around the glass like a vice.
Ravyn sighed deep and got up the table, the legs screeching against the wooden floor. “I’ll be outside whenever you’re ready.”
“Ravyn, wait,” Keke said with her arm outstretched.
The three of us watched as she brushed shoulders with Ara and another catgirl on her way out. The door shut behind Ravyn, and Ara approached with a new maid by her side. “Is something amiss?” Ara asked.
“No, nothing,” I said with a shake of my head.
“Hm. Well, if I may introduce someone.” Ara took a step to her side and held out an arm to a dark-skinned catgirl with piercing green eyes and hair of jet-black. “This is Amira. Since Lynn has departed, she will be my second half for the remainder of your stay here.”
Each of us bent our heads forward awkwardly, Cannoli and my hand still firmly clenched around the smoothie.
“A pleasure.” Her voice was soft, almost monotone. Amira curtsied longer than the maids usually did, then stood back up to sweep some of her long, black hair behind her. Every movement she made was slow, deliberate, patient.
Not an ounce of haste in this girl.
One awkward conversation and two unfinished smoothies later, Keke, Cannoli, and I briefly explained our plans to Ara and Amira, then went outside to meet Ravyn. She leaned up against the fence, playing with Ball Gag while muttering unintelligible words.
“Take enough time in there? We got work to do,” said Ravyn.
“Still should’ve eaten,” Keke said with a tone of irritation.
“Mou ii. I never started having breakfast until you all showed up anyway.” Ravyn spurred herself away from the fence with her foot, motioning for us to follow. “Let’s go get some ice cream.”
Seemed like a busy day for Felsi when we arrived. There was a line of at least ten catgirls by the time we arrived. It was the highest number of people we’d seen outside since we’d come to Venicia.
“Is it national ice cream day or something?” I asked, standing on my tiptoes to peer over the heads of the girls.
The brunette catgirl in front of me turned and bowed. “We are granted time for ice cream once per week from the School of Etiquette, Master. My sincerest apologies if this has created an inconvenience for you.”
“Huh.” I shrugged. “We can wait.”
Ravyn rolled her head and groaned.
“Fuck this.”
“Hey, wait! Ravyn!” I called out to Ravyn, but it was too late. Ball leapt off of her shoulder and fluttered over to perch himself on my shoulder. He twitched a few times, but otherwise, I let him stay where he was. Not because I liked him, though.
Keke, Cannoli, and I watched as Ravyn sifted through the crowd with relative ease, the bobbing of her black, pointy hat making for a good marker. She remained in [Combat Mode] every time we went outside. Not that I could really blame her.
Felsi leaned over the counter with a hand to her ear. I couldn’t hear a thing over the clamoring for ice cream.
Then there was a harmony of gasps. The top half of Felsi’s body disappeared for a few seconds as a black-gloved hand reached out and pulled her over the counter.
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“Is everything okay in there?” Keke asked.
“Y-yeah, I think so.” I hope so. I stood higher on the balls of my feet and craned my head over the crowd.
Felsi jerked back in a sudden motion and shook her hands in front of her in a frantic gesture. She bowed several times over, and moments after, the pointed hat started to make its way back over to us.
“Did you find anything useful?” I asked as Ravyn emerged.
She shrugged, and Ball was quick to abandon me for Ravyn’s shoulder, nuzzling up against her neck and cheek on arrival.
“Scared, were you?” Ravyn said, procuring a small treat for Ball. Ball nibbled on the crunchy bird snack, holding the cylinder of food in his talons. “And yeah. Sorta. I can tell you this much though—Felsi won’t be able to get us what we need. There isn’t a magic shop for miles. We’re going to have to go out of town to find what we need.”
“More walking,” I heard Cannoli mumble.
“I’m no more excited than you are, but it’s our only option at this point,” Ravyn said, sighing.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a retreating length of brown braids cutting the corner of a nearby building. I wondered if it was my imagination, then thought again. Coincidences were not a thing in this town.
“What’s wrong, Matt?” Cannoli said with a hand on my arm.
I would’ve normally enjoyed the sensation of her skin on mine. Bask in the goosebumps and fly off to a momentary land of bliss and wild imaginations. Instead, all I could think of was how much I wanted to get out of this city.
“I think our stalker isn’t far behind us,” I said, just loud enough that they could hear.
“Already?” Keke said with half-closed eyes.
“Do you think she’ll follow us out of town?” asked Cannoli.
Ravyn shook her head. “I don’t think she’ll leave her minions for a second. Once we’re out of here, the cunt should leave us alone. Barking orders like a bitch takes too much time for little miss head maid.”
“But somebody else might track us,” reasoned Keke. “Somebody we haven’t seen.”
“Possible, but unlikely. Tracking spells are tied to the caster in most cases. I doubt we’d have the head maid on our tails if someone else could stalk us instead.”
The logic was a bit iffy in my eyes. At this point, though, there wasn’t much else we could do but move on to the next town in hopes they had the items we needed.
“So, where to, then?” I asked.
“Next town over is Badyron.” Ravyn wiped her shoulder clean of the cookie crumbs and gestured for a stagecoach nearby. “Let’s hitch a ride.”
“Uncomfortable” was the understatement of the year for our ride to Badyron. I was just grateful that it was only a few hours away from Venicia.
“If I see another maid after we leave, it’ll be too soon,” muttered Ravyn. She clicked her tongue and spit into a nearby bush as we watched the carriage leave.
“S-so, how about finding that magic shop?” I suggested while walking up to the perimeter of the town.
Cannoli was covering her face and shaking her head. “Please!”
Buttons appeared on her shoulder, warbling back and forth like he’d just escaped a Tilt-a-Whirl, which wasn’t all that far from the truth.
Keke and Cannoli took one of my arms, and the three of us were spry on our feet. Though I’m sure we were mostly just afraid of getting an earful from Ravyn.
“Manipulative, spineless, uptight, cooch-spreading bitches. All of them,” Ravyn continued while the rest of us pretended not to hear.
Badyron wasn’t unlike Venicia, just a constructional downgrade or two. They looked as if the entire town was created with second-hand materials—perhaps the maids didn’t take as good of care of this place as they did Venicia. Cracks and pieces of plaster and chipped paint stuck out on most of the homes and businesses. Grass poked through the minor crevices and imperfections of the road, and the gardens had their share of weeds.
Despite the imperfections, it felt a lot more like home to me. I wondered if it was too much to ask that this town not be as uptight, not as strict. Perhaps they’d be a little more homely or—
“First of all.” Ravyn grabbed a good chunk of my shirt from behind, nearly yanking me backward. “Let’s get a fucking drink.”
“Hey, be careful!” Keke snapped loudly.
“You could hurt him,” Cannoli said in a quieter tone.
“Oh please, he’ll be fine. I’m sure he’d like a drink anyway, wouldn’t you?” Ravyn’s eyes bore daggers into me, and I felt a strong inclination to agree, regardless of how I actually felt.
I looked away. I suddenly felt very, very tired. Maybe the stress was, at last, getting to me. “S-sure, I’m sure we could all use one, yeah?”
“Time to get wasted, squawwwwwk!”
Our mouths dropped, and an audible gasp escaped from our throats. Initially, I wasn’t sure—but now?
“Hell yeah, let’s get a drink!” I said with renewed vigor in my veins. If Ball was feeling better then I was game for just about anything.
Ravyn breathed a sigh of relief and scratched the chin of her feathery companion. A rare smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Even if it had nothing to do with the rest of us, it was nice to see Ravyn smile so genuinely.
Guess you really do love the little shit, don’t you?
As per usual, we drew the eyes of most of the catgirls in town, some braver than others to try and strike up a conversation with me. One quick glare from Keke, Cannoli’s tightening embrace around my shoulder, and a quick-witted comment from Ravyn later, and just about every catgirl within a five-mile radius had lost any and all urge to approach us.
Thankfully, it didn’t take long for us to find a nearby tavern.
“Do you have to use such harsh language?” Cannoli asked, her shoulders scrunched.
“It’s working,” Keke said with a shrug. “At least they’re staying away from us.”
“You’re welcome.” Ravyn was the first to ascend the stairs leading up to the tavern.
It had a sort of wild west feel to it with the batwing doors. Grains and splinters of wood poked out between corners and crevices within the floorboards and tables, and many of the glasses looked like they’d been simply rinsed and dried out. That last part had me concerned for sanitary reasons, but if it was good enough for the girls, then it was good enough for me.
Ravyn pushed open the doors with a hand on each wing and held fast to her spot, surveying the room and pointedly staring at each of the girls.
“Hey, Ravyn,” I whispered to her.
“What?”
“Is it safe to come in?” I asked.
“Baka. When have you ever asked me that?” Ravyn snickered.
I swung the doors open and surveyed the room, pointing to a table in the corner to our right. “How about that one?”
“Sure.” Ravyn welcomed herself in like she owned the place, and we meekly followed behind.
We drew looks of timidity, fright, joy, and numerous other expressions on our way to our table. It seemed there wasn’t a single girl in here who was feeling the same two emotions, which brought its own sort of concern.
I turned toward Ravyn, my fight-or-flight response starting to kick in.
“Hey, Ravyn, maybe we should—”
The slamming of a tray twisted my neck around to the source of the sound. A maid with a skirt cut halfway up her thighs stood at attention, a pencil and a pad of paper in her hands. She had a ring pierced into her left ear, bore bright red hair tied up into a ponytail, and stared down at us with steel-grey eyes.
“What’ll it be?” She had the look—albeit a sexier than expected one—that she was ready to take an order. Couldn’t help but feel like it was more of a demand than a question, though.
“Marlene!” came the whisper of another girl from a nearby table. “Master! Master!”
Our waitress sighed. “What’ll it be, Master?”
“What do you suggest?” I asked.
“We’re new here!” Cannoli chimed in with Buttons scurrying his way out from underneath her shirt collar.
“Just give me some hard shit. Not too hard, though. Need to be able to walk afterward,” said Ravyn.
“I’ll have water, thanks,” Keke’s reply came as a surprise to me.
“Really? You don’t want anything?” I asked.
Keke shook her head. “No.” Then her voice grew low. “The hangover has destroyed any desire for alcohol I had.”
“Ha! Weak!” Ravyn cried out. “There’s the proof I won last time!”
Marlene watched us, her plush lips growing into a thin line while she tapped at the rim of her notepad with the pencil.
Keke raised a brow, then looked to the wall with her cheeks puffed out.
It’s okay, Keke. I get it.
“A Blaze of Fury for the well-endowed one, water for the pouty face. Understood.” Marlene scribbled a few notes onto her notepad, turning her attention back to me. “I’d suggest a Caramel Daffodil for the Master and a Pink Sunday Splash for the white one.”
I think I’d be walking out if this was a bar back on Earth.
I raised my hand. “Do you have anything a little less—I dunno, girly-sounding?”
“A Blaze of Fury for the Master. Understood.” Marlene flipped the notepad back over and walked away, the clicking of her four-inch heels ringing higher than the chatter of the patrons.
“Kekeke, walked into that one,” Ravyn said.
“Cannoli has a Pink Sunday Splash, and you’re complaining about a Caramel Daffodil?” asked Keke. “Should’ve just rolled with it.”
I sighed. “Can we swap seats? It’s um, uncomfortable not being able to see the rest of the bar.”
Call it an instinct or man’s sense of danger, but I was certain I was being stared at by the vast majority of the girls in the room. It reminded me a lot of Shulan, and I didn’t like that.
“Of course!” Cannoli popped up from the table and offered me her seat.
The faster we could get the hell off this island, the better.

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