《Tales of Demons and Dragons - An Original Xianxia GameLit》Chapter 42 - Motherf**ker
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Frederick went up to Jacob and grabbed his hand.
“Do not hesitate,” Jacob reminded him.
“I’ll try not to get us both killed. I think it’s in our shared interest,” he said.
He started walking as he had done before, changing his path slightly to avoid the pools of blood that made the ground slippery.
He was halfway through when it happened.
Click.
Jacob felt something below his foot, and he immediately jumped back as fast as he could. A metallic bear-trap snapped right where his foot had been a second before.
“Jacob, what the hell?!” Frederick lost his composure.
“Shut up and walk!”
He looked around immediately and adjusted his course, leading Fred through a different path.
Click.
This time, a jet of fire almost slightly singed his front hair and almost made a little charcoal out of Frederick.
“What the f*ck?!” his partner screamed while squeezing his hand tightly.
Jacob was now stepping on more pressure plates and activating traps that made him change his course multiple times.
It had been a full two minutes, more than double what it took with anyone else, and they were still not through.
Jacob was now more cautious.
Well, what traps are we missing? Acid, fire, arrows, bear-traps. We did everything, right? It’s not like these bastards would put the trap I’m thinking exactly in the middle of this fuc**ng room. Right?
He had tried to avoid the center, but it was as if the traps wanted to lead him there, and some would activate multiple times. He had to make a slalom among traps and pools of blood that made the ground slippery.
Click.
The axes stopped for half a second.
MOTHERF**KER
“FRED, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?” he shouted while the axes were frozen.
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“What?”
“HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?” as soon as he finished saying those words, the axes started once again, but this time they were twice as fast as before.
“Eighty-five?”
Jacob didn’t even register his words and just took him in his arms in a princess carry. If he had planned this room, he would have put an ax-accelerating trap. In fact, it was trap 101: let someone believe they are making it, and as soon as there are equally distant from both ends, make the room harder.
He could not guarantee Frederick's safety if he had to carry him by hand. Moreover, they would need lighting reflexes right now.
“Fuc**ng fat-ass,” Jacob groaned under the weight.
The 2nd level of Qi cultivation made him stronger, but he had been quite weak to start with, sadly.
“What the f*ck?!” Frederick screamed while Jacob, unable to walk properly, started to hop around the giant-mortal-hyper-fast axes.
“Oh my God, we are so gonna die, f*ck!” Frederick could only keep his composure to a point and hugged Jacob as tightly as he could.
“Fu*k, Fu*k, Fu*k,” Jacob hopped while looking left and right. His spatial perception was being tested. If he had been alone, it wouldn’t have been a problem. With Frederick, however, he was struggling.
He could see all the vast axes coming, but his responses were slow and clumsy.
One ax went by so fast that Jacob hopped and rested his back against it to propel his next hop.
“Sweet Lord, please, don’t let me die in a fuc**ng princess-carry, please, please,” Frederick swore.
“Fuc**ng fuc*er,” Jacob swore too.
They were being propelled not just by Jacob’s exceptional spatial awareness but also by their immense swearing.
Jacob saw only one path, and the ax swinging there was going so fast that it would be almost impossible to cross in their current state without becoming a thinly sliced entrée.
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“Fu*k, hold tight!”
Accelerate
Jacob used one of the most basic Martial Techniques related to his Time Domination Cultivation Technique. He wished he was a level higher in Qi cultivation, though: it would be much closer than he would have liked.
He saw the ax approaching incredibly fast. Even though he had started running when it had just passed in front of him, it was already descending again.
F*ck, I’m not going to make it, f*ck!
He crossed the threshold of the corridor and exhaled sharply, amazed he had made it somehow. He had been thoroughly convinced that he would lose a buttcheek in the process, but it had seemed like he had made it, somehow.
He dumped Frederick on the ground.
Well, happy that my math was wrong for once. I still like having an ass.
And then he felt it.
It’s a bit cold in here, isn’t it?
He saw a couple of people chuckle, and Juliet went completely red while laughing her ass off.
Oh no.
His ass had been saved, but the same could not be said for his jeans. There was a clean cut on the loose jeans that now showed his underwear.
“Teddy bears, Jake. For fu*k’s sake, teddy bears?” Frederick was still on the ground when he swore and started laughing too.
“Someone give me their sweater, for Pete’s sake!” Jacob screamed.
Well, at least they were all alive.
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