Morgana raised an eyebrow at my question.

“You speak of the cycle of death and rebirth for those favored by Mother Gaia?” She asked.

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow at her. I knew from my time in the Physical long ago that humans had numerous names for Libbu and just as many stories about her but I couldn’t recall any tales about her involvement in reincarnation. They had attributed the birth of humanity to her among other things while the mantle of death or the afterlife often fell upon the head of one of her children or, in some cases, me. Thankfully, I didn’t have to hide my ignorance to spin my web.

“Since when does the Mother have anything to do with the passage of the soul through life and death?” I asked, seeding no small amount of doubt in my tone.

The married couple exchanged glances once more making me wonder if it was a habit of theirs or if they had some form of psychic communication. When Morgana met my gaze again, the suspicion in her eyes had lessened ever-so-slightly giving way for curiosity. I was keen to hear her answer.

“Mother Gaia has guided the souls of her favored through the cycle of rebirth for as long as even the eldest druids can remember. Not all who venerate Gaia are reborn but many among her followers believe their immortal souls reside within her, perhaps they flow within her life energy as it passes through the ley lines awaiting their time for rebirth or perhaps, they serve some purpose yet unknown to us,” Morgana said. Her eyes were focused intently on my expression searching for clues while she spoke. Finding no signs of recognition, she added, “This is common knowledge within the supernatural community yet I sense this is new information to you.”

“I see. So, the that’s what it was…,” I replied, making a show of contemplation despite knowing exactly where I was steering the conversation. “If you don’t mind my asking, where are we?”

This was a play. I knew that we were likely in Holsburg, Tennessee thanks to Akasha’s status report on my vessel. That paired with my knowledge of the Old World’s geography allowed for a rough approximation of where I was even if I wasn’t familiar with the current name or topography. However, Regis’s frustration simmered within his soul’s aura and pressed against his patience creating more impatience as I continued to avoid the matter of their original inquiry. I wanted the man to feel as though he directed the conversation so he entered the right mindset.

Morgana, still maintaining her calm demeanor, made to answer but Regis predictably cut her off.

“Before we answer any more of your questions, tell us who you are and why you’ve taken our grandson’s body,” he said, his tone making it clear that he had had enough of waiting. Morgana scowled at the interruption but remained quiet.

I sighed closing my eyes.

“Very well, I’m not in any position to refuse you so I will give you the truth,” I said. I focused my eyes and checked for any active techniques or rituals one them or in the room. Seeing no sorcery that would allow them to discern the truth from a lie, I continued, “I am an immortal and I suspect I come from an age far removed from this one.”

“What do you mean?” Morgana asked, leaning forward intently. Regis also appeared focused on my explanation; a small amount of curiosity mixing in with the turbulent emotions radiating from his soul.

“In my previous life, I was a hermit of sorts. After I lost my family at a young age, I was abandoned by my people since it would mean one less mouth to feed during the cold season. I did not last long in the wilderness at the mercy of starvation and wild beasts but as I lay near-death in the snow, I accidently projected my soul into the Astral and made contact with a benevolent spirit. The spirit taught me a way to produce mana within the Astral so that I could then pull it into my soul and use it to work miracles. Thanks to that breakthrough, I barely survived the frost and began my life as a drifter. I avoided other people outside of the occasional encounter where fate forced my hand.”

I paused for a moment as though reminiscing.

“However, fate is an uncompassionate mistress and those encounters spread among the nomadic tribes of my homeland. Soon, people began to seek me out for the miracles I could perform. Many I turned away but some I helped out of compassion or simple curiosity. A foolish thing in hindsight for word of my abilities found its way beyond my homeland bringing the attention of those who would disturb my peaceful life.”

I frowned realizing my neck was beginning to ache from the position in which I found myself. I tried to readjust but bodily weakness proved a bothersome foe without the aid of mana. My struggle resulted in a slight improvement although I failed to get completely comfortable. Without a word, Morgana reached forward and adjusted the pillows beneath my head. I noted the strength in her grip despite her appearance and the pleasant warmth of her skin.

“Thank you,” I said as I settled into the softness of the pillow. “This bed is truly amazing. I’ve known kings who would pay much for something like this.”

She leveled a no nonsense look at me so I cleared my throat only to start coughing from the pain I caused by doing so. Regis’s scowl deepened but they remained patient as I recovered.

“I apologize,” I said rolling my tongue inside my mouth in a futile attempt to alleviate the dryness within. “Now, as I said, I attracted the attention of individuals who disturbed my peace. These people called themselves gods and claimed to be born from the Mother of All. I did not take well to their arrogance but their power was undeniable. Through a method unknown to me at the time, they outmatched my mana capacity manifold. I came to blows with some of them when I refused to show them subservience or undeserved respect. While I couldn’t match their raw power, I made up for it with cunning and perseverance. Sadly, the cost for my victories was high. I lost much for my pride: people that I cared for suffered in the wake of the violence and swathes of my beautiful homeland were ruined. All because I did not back down.”

I pictured Libbu while I spoke to imbue my words with the appropriate amount of grief. However, I had miscalculated the torrent that opening those floodgates would unleash. Tears came unbidden to my eyes and a sharp inhale broke the flow of my speech. Alarmed by the outpouring of grief, I clamped down hard on my thoughts, instinctively gritting my teeth and clenching my fist. I closed my eyes as the memory of Libbu’s face withering as her astral body disappeared one structure at a time pushed its way into my thoughts ignoring my mental resistances completely.

An awkward silence hung over the room as I gathered myself. When I opened my eyes again, the couple had conflicted expressions on their faces. Compassion and suspicion battled within their souls with caution keeping the conflict contained.

“Excuse my outburst,” I said, taking one deep breath after another. The human biology of my body and the tyrannical force of my will battled in the wake of my emotions flaring. Fortunately, my will had the advantage by far and the episode only lasted a few moments. I continued, “After one particularly devastating encounter, one of these gods bested me but instead of killing me, he spared my life under the condition that I introduce myself to the Mother of All. She was the one you now call Gaia.”

“Was?” Regis asked, still scowling.

“Yes, I wasn’t sure until Lady Morgana spoke a moment ago about her role in the cycle. In those days, she walked the Earth as a human. It wasn’t until much later that she interred herself into the land.” I chuckled at the shocked expression on the large man’s face. Morgana handled the information better but her eyebrows still rose a few inches in surprise. “Yes, Mother Gaia as you call her was once a person, albeit a truly extraordinary one, with hopes, dreams, and fears.”

“There are stories passed down among the druids about Gaia’s passage on the Earth long ago but even the oldest of the Archdruids are unsure of the truth of those legends,” Morgana said. Her mouth pressed into a hard line as she shook her head. “It is hard to believe that you could know such information.”

“I understand your skepticism but allow me to continue,” I said.

She nodded,

Curious about the mechanism behind my emotional outburst, I summoned the memories of the years following Enlil’s birth. I had agreed to teach Libbu’s firstborn out of curiosity more than anything but I spent more time than necessary with her and the child. We discussed the nature of her experiment and I instinctively applied my mind to finding the optimal methods for improving the newly-created Astral Bridge structure. As I thought back on it, I saw the first seeds of her obsession with humans and her desire to forge me into their protector in those memories. They were good days full of advancement and companionship. A smile came unbidden to my face bringing a wave of warmth that settled in my chest seemingly fueling the muscles in my face. In the back of my mind, I felt a bit of unease concerning the power these memories seemed to have over me.

“Needless to say, I accepted the mercy that I had been granted and ventured south to a land between two rivers where the first city sat. There, I met the Mother and unlike her children, she carried no arrogance or pride, only compassion and resolve. She quickly became a dear friend and treated me as an equal despite how vastly her power outstripped mine. It was a curious thing but she claimed to know the spirit who showed mercy on me so many years prior.” My smile widened as remembered the sensation of Libbu’s astral body against my own as we communicated. She had still been stronger than me in the days of Ur yet her presence inspired comfort rather than fear. I closed my eyes: I could almost feel the touch of her mind at that moment. I basked in the familiar feeling as I continued my story.

“She gave me the name Ebēru or One Who Crosses Over Rivers. I didn’t mind as I had no name until that point since my family had perished before giving me one,” I said looking at the ceiling. “We parted ways but our bond had grown strong and she remained ever-present in my heart.”

“Why did you leave?” Regis asked. I looked over at the couple and was surprised by what I saw. Morgana’s eyes glistened with emotion and Regis’s expression had lost most of its hostility.

I did not know I had a talent for acting, I thought, bemused. Perhaps, it is all the arts that I entertained during the rise of civilization.

“I was tempted when she asked me to stay with her but I had developed an obsession,” I said, my mood souring slightly as I remembered my confrontation with Libbu in Ur. “In the wake of my harsh life and the violence conflict with her children, I chased after power and eternal life. I had already discovered that the use of mana lengthened one’s lifespan and could strengthen the body but I sought true immortality, an escape from the grasp of death through invulnerability or absolute power. Transcendence, if you will. I devoted all of my being to the pursuit of that goal to the exclusion of all else including her.”

I sighed a genuine expression that nonetheless added to my story.

“I sought the Truth of our eternal souls, not its existence which is plain to any who interact with the Astral but its nature. My obsession consumed me so much so that I turned her away when she sought my help with a matter of great import. Even now, I regret that decision. Many years later, she enacted a grand ritual, larger than anything I have ever felt and with power only second to two other existences. However, I never confirmed what the ritual’s purpose was though I suspect that it is how she joined herself with the Earth. Around that time, I had a ritual of my own underway which consumed my full attention, one that was supposed to finally bestow my transcendence.”

I paused for effect sparing them a glance. They were focused on me, so intent they were that I felt a bit uncomfortable.

“I failed. Instead of securing immortality, my ritual shunted my soul from my body with my consciousness fully intact effectively killing my physical form while leaving my soul stranded in the Astral,” I said, adopting a troubled expression to sell the distress of the fabricated situation. “Unsure of how to proceed, I simply continued building upon my Astral Domain which was thankfully intact. I tried to contact the spirit who had once shown mercy on me but I received no response, much like the many times I had tried while alive. Were it not for the Mother of All’s mention of the spirit, I would’ve doubted its existence. ”

As I formulated my next words, a pall fell over my mood. I couldn’t help it as thoughts of the Crawling Shadow emerged. My jaw gained a hard set as the feeling of the nightmarish entity’s presence enveloped me.

“The Astral became my home. I cultivated mana and grew my strength for so long that I lost count of time entirely,” I explained. Before I continued, I took a steadying breath, not for show but because I needed it. “Then, a shadow fell over my domain. It came so suddenly… I tried to fight. I battled its minions in the Astral, hundreds of them fell against me. I thought I was making a difference…”

I had to admit to myself then and there that the Crawling Shadow genuinely terrified me. A shiver ran through my body and soul as I recalled the dark chains piercing my core structures and the deluge of tormented souls clawing at my consciousness in their desperate escape attempts. At that moment, I hated the nature of my existence. Even though the process had been a direct result of my gamble to form a covenant with the Crawling Shadow, I couldn’t have imagined the primordial entity would force such a fundamental change.

The irony of my discomfort in light of my past experiments with fleshwarping was not lost on me though it only added bitterness. I pushed all of those emotions aside with a deep breath that I held for a few seconds before letting it go. It helped and I couldn’t help but be thankful for the few exceptional mortals who I had decided to personally instruct. If not for them, I wouldn’t have much insight into mortal methods of calming the mind.

Once I repair the damaged structures, I can begin psykhe production and begin to correct some of these bothersome physiological impediments, I thought for self-assurance. I disliked my emotional sensitivity and believed it would only be a detriment to my development going forward; an amusing conclusion in hindsight.

A warm hand gripped mine snapping me out of my stupor. My eyes popped open, momentarily confusing me as I didn’t remember closing them. My aching body was tense when I looked at the owner of the hand. Morgana gave my hand a firm squeeze and our eyes met.

At that moment, my gaze encompassed the entirety of her soul. I understood her: a practical yet compassionate leader, a stoic yet nurturing mother, a wise yet weary protector, and so much more. She was beautiful.

Sadly, the moment did not last. Her hand left mine and she cleared her throat breaking eye contact. A doubt formed within me at that moment.

Had she seen something in my eyes that made her look away? I remembered the judging eyes of my fleshwarped behind the green-eyed girl. The disgust in their gazes communicated the truth of what they saw in my nature— I was a monster. I had dismissed these and other accusations by mortals as nothing but the blathering of ignorant apes in the past. However, what if it was true?

Frustratingly, I couldn’t silence the doubt or understand why I cared enough for the mental parasite to manifest.

“My fight was futile,” I continued, seeking to distract myself from my spiraling thoughts. “For every entity I bested, there were more. When I thought that I had successfully outwitted a foe more powerful than myself, I was caught in the web of the Crawling Shadow, the one who I suspect you refer to as the Dark Invader. Like a spider would a fly, it pulled me in and sapped my strength poisoning my very soul. Everything I had built over the years in the Astral was dismantled, my power reduced to nothing in the face of its overwhelming might. I thought all was lost but then salvation came from somewhere I hadn’t expected.”

“Mother Gaia?” asked Regis. He looked much more relaxed than he had been at the beginning of my tale.

“No, at least not directly,” I said causing the man’s brow to furrow. “It was the spirit who had saved me as a child. It snatched me from the Crawling Shadow’s clutches. It told me that it had formed a covenant with an entity known as the Akashic Records to protect our Astral sector but that the price had been high. It needed to entrust something of great importance to me, a piece of the Mother’s consciousness entrusted the spirit through some method that I could only guess at. These fragments had to remain within the tethered to the Physical but the spirit would not be able to safeguard them any longer as a result of its covenant. According to it, I would not be the only one to bear a fragment of her consciousness. Unfortunately, before I could ask any questions or beseech it for further assistance, the spirit disappeared once more.”

“Son of a bitch…,” Regis said under his breath. He scowled and met Morgana’s gaze. She nodded at him, agreeing to an unspoken question.

“Do you know who these others are, those who bear fragments as you do?” Morgana asked, her expression neutral.

I allowed my apprehension to show on my face. For a moment, I considered adding another lie to my web but decided against it since the ultimate goal of this endeavor was to gain their allegiance or at the very least, their temporary assistance.

“In a sense, yes,” I said glancing at each of them in turn. “The girl who was with me when I became Eric Blackthorn. I believe her name is Yotta. She bears a fragment but I don’t believe she knows it. As for the others, I don’t know their whereabouts but I would be able to identify them if we crossed paths.”

Another look passed between the two. By the looks of it, my words triggered a realization for them. They didn’t share the information and though I wanted to know, I didn’t press the matter.

“And how exactly did you become Eric Blackthorn?” Regis asked, his expression turning stern.

“That’s an unpleasant thing to recount but you deserve to know,” I said with a sigh. The couple tensed and I could see the muscles in Regis’s jaw locking up. “After I was free of the Crawling Shadow, I needed a body but despite my best efforts, I couldn’t find a way to return to the Physical through myself. Thankfully, I learned that I could harmonize my soul with the fragment of the Mother’s consciousness which allowed my soul to pass through the Boundary for a short period. During this time, I could attempt to find a body but my soul was too powerful and thus required an abnormal vessel. I failed to find one for many years until I passed through the Boundary for the umpteenth time and something felt different. I sensed the vibration of another fragment and when I reached for it, I witnessed the death of Eric Blackthorn.”

A heavy silence hung over the room as I found the strength to raise my hand toward the ceiling. I slowly closed my fist.

“In many ways, the body and soul are mirrors of one another so I could tell the child had lived a life of sickness with one look at his feeble and unstable soul. Even as a spirit, he could barely communicate yet he had one desire: to save his mother and Yotta. I’ll admit, I considered ignoring the dead boy’s wish but I remembered my failures so many years ago, the loved ones that I had failed to save or doomed with my unbending pride. I remembered how I had only lived thanks to the benevolence of a spirit’s mercy.”

I let my arm fall to the bed, a frown on my face.

“So, I tried to save his soul by pulling him back into his body as I entered it but… His soul was too weak. Instead of anchoring itself into his body, his soul fragmented, and to stabilize him, I used my soul to hold him together. That was a mistake. The gap in strength between our souls was too great and like a stream into a river, he flowed into me, our consciousnesses melding until we became one.”

“Are you saying that you are both Ebēru and Eric?” Morgana asked, her neutral expression hiding the glint of hope in her eyes.

“Yes and no,” I said. I understood her hope but it would be best for all if she harbored the right notion. “Technically, you are correct; however, as I said, his soul was minuscule in comparison to mine, both in power and experience. I have his memories but he was a boy who had never gotten a chance to live so it amounted to nothing in comparison to just the time I spent in my homeland, much less the centuries afterward or my time in the Astral which I suspect was much longer based on your reactions to some parts of my story. That said, I would be lying if I said our joining did not affect me. After I became Eric Blackthorn, my body was on the verge of collapse and a death curse attacked my soul. It would’ve been easy to escape, better too now that I think on it. My soul and knowledge of mana would let me survive my injuries and I could recover if given time. Yet, the thought never occurred to me. Instead of fleeing from the sorcerer, I engaged him risking my new body which miraculously held my soul. All because of a desire to save two women who I barely knew yet loved so strongly.”

“The boy’s soul even affected my decision to kill the sorcerer,” I said. Using my new trick to summon emotions, I recalled the corruption that the Crawling Shadow’s sub cores had attempted to spread within Libbu’s earthly structures. Just like that, my jaw tensed and my fists clenched as a boiling rage came rushing forth. “I intended to capture him at first but when I got ahold of the man, I saw my father’s body lying there half-shifted in death. I felt this anger that ripped through my thoughts like a whirlwind and summoned memories of those ‘gods’ who visited my homeland so long ago bringing violence and death. In my rage, I ripped his soul apart using my soul as a weapon to do so instead of just causing enough damage to incapacitate him and nullify his ability to use mana. I regret that lapse in control. What I did to that man… It’s a horrible way to die.”

“Good,” Regis said, nodding in approval. The ghost of a smirk touched his lips before disappearing. Morgana frowned a bit at her husband’s comment but I sensed no disagreement from her.

“Perhaps he deserved a gruesome death,” I said, frowning. “But my body being that of a child, does not mean I have a license to act like one by allowing my emotions to get the best of me. While the joining of our souls provided some good things like a compatible body and the ability to speak English so we could have this conversation, my emotions have been in disarray since I became Eric Blackthorn. Even during this conversation, I have struggled to contain my emotions which is a dangerous thing for anyone with the ability to wield mana. It is something I must correct. That is, assuming you allow me to live.”

Regis sighed pushing off of the door and walking over to stand at my bedside. He held my gaze for nearly a minute in silence, his proximity filling my nose with the smell of leather and fresh earth. Finally, he nodded to himself then at Morgana. She seemed to come to a decision then sat at the edge of the bed by my legs. Without a word, her hand once again found mine and the warm energy from before filled my body easing the aches therein.

It didn’t stop there. She continued to pour her mana into my body while her will bent the supernatural force to its bidding. Curious about what she aimed to accomplish and sensing no hostility, I didn’t reject her mana allowing it to saturate my body. Suddenly, a familiar presence touched upon my mind.

The air around Morgana vibrated and within my soul, the piece of Libbu that I carried, the half-piece untouched by the Crawling Shadow, hummed in harmony with the vibration. Morgana smiled but it wasn’t her own and her eyes held wisdom beyond her years. I felt her then, I felt Libbu, clear as day: not a ghost, or a memory, or an illusion.

She may as well have been right in front of me.

“Beloved,” was all that Morgana said. Then, it was over. It hadn’t lasted more than a few seconds. When she returned to normal, Morgana offered a smile even though she looked exhausted.

“How—,” I tried to ask but she interrupted me.

“I have heard and seen all I need to. You can stay, Eric,” she stated swiping her hand quickly across her eyes. To my surprise, she leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. “For now, we will keep this to ourselves and speak more later. Rest for now.”

“Wait!” I said, my eyes still wide in disbelief. How did she do that?

Regis smirked at my shock as Morgana got up and left the room ignoring my call. He followed her to the door and turned back to address me.

“Looks like you’ve won her over. As for me, I’m not sure if I buy everything you claim but I can tell when someone’s got hurt latched onto their gut like a parasite sucking ‘em dry. If you want to corral your feelings, I’d start there.”

With a nod, he left the room closing the door and leaving me alone. I gripped my chest as loneliness clawed at my heart. For a long time, I fought back choking sobs refusing to allow the dam to break again. Outside of my window, the sun had moved to its apex in the sky shining down bright rays of light into the room. The sun’s rays warmed my body like a contradiction to my mood.

I hadn’t expected the telling of my fabricated tale of half-truths and lies to be so draining or emotionally taxing. The ordeal revealed a necessary reevaluation of my mental state. I had busied myself since the arrival of the Crawling Shadow so I hadn’t devoted any time to process my emotions even while cultivating within the Akashic Records.

I’m not sure if I know how to rest, I mused. I let my head sink into the pillow and closed my eyes wishing to let go of it all.

As though in response, sleep gathered my exhausted mind and body into its arms pulling my mind from the clutches of loneliness and into the depths of a pleasant dream.