《A lonely exploration of Tao》Chapter 35 : Calm before the storm
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Setting his sights on the future, Avery settled down into a routine of peaceful contemplation, opening himself up to nature, passively observing and actively absorbing knowledge.
He learned to assist his comprehension with his divination, making the most of his time, but he refused to obsess over efficiency or to count insignificant gains anymore.
Every few hours, he would initiate a divination, diving into the river of fate, but instead of attempting to grab and hoard knowledge, he tried to become a fish in the sea, to attune himself to the Tao. Gradually he became intimately familiar with the many Daos, learning to distinguish them and learn how they felt, until he could even recognise them in his mental world.
Once his divination ended, he would immerse himself into his visualisation. This was the time of active research, where he would control, confirm and expand his knowledge, and test all of his theories.
Then, after a few hours, he would attempt another divination, to gather new insights and in passing earning points to guarantee his survival.
This was his routine, but it did not feel not repetitive, as each passing moment he was learning something new, and with each passing day he felt closer to the Tao.
Of course, it was not always easy, and he often caught glimpses of mysteries too profound for him, sometimes spending weeks trying to understand the obscure and seemingly nonsensical Dao without any gains.
Irritation still built up like it always had, and he often wanted nothing more than to give up and look for another way, but he was determined not to let his laziness or boredom control him any longer. He would master his own fate, and nothing would stand in his way.
His mind was still hurting just as much as before, and with his continual uses of time warps, the dissociation between his body and soul had instead become worse. He had never gotten used to the headache, but he had learned to live with it, and to accept it. He still moaned and groaned about it regularly, but at least it no longer interfered with his concentration.
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In a twisted way, he even came to appreciate the pain for its consistency. One day he might be happy, another sad, and another still he would be filled with rage. Those emotions came and went without rhyme or reason, but the Pain was constant. It only grew slowly sharper and stronger, and he knew it would only go away on the day he left the mortal coil, either through Death or Ascension.
The more time passed, the better Avery managed to control himself, and to keep a serene state of mind. Bursts of fury that would have previously been unbearable no longer influenced his action, and he did not dance around in joy anymore.
He had higher aspirations than fleeting joy and sorrow, and by walking alongside the Avenue for so long, his care and concern for the impermanent had been whittled down to nothing.
He was in no rush, nothing was waiting for him, and he could afford to do things the slow and steady way. He even stopped counting the hours, letting decades slip by without care, seemingly fixed in time, remaining as immutable as his mental world.
Despite putting any special focus on divination, he had always done his best every time. Progress had naturally come along, slow and steady, as each time he plunged into the river of fate, he went a little deeper, saw a little more and remembered a little more.
His skill had reached a supreme state, surpassing even his mastery of runes, but he dismissed any ideas to cease restricting it and directly address the Tao. Ignoring the difficulty, it would be insanely dangerous, and most importantly completely unnecessary.
Divination was already doing an admirable job as it was, and required no upgrade. It was actually the other way around, as Avery had become concerned he was using it too much.
He had become so adept at divination, and his connection to the Mental world now ran so deep, that he felt he was on the brink of a great breakthrough.
He was no longer simply calling to the black turtle image, but he was building a mysterious bond with the virtual world as a whole, and it was getting closer and closer to completion with each passing day.
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Nowadays, divination was more than taking a dip in the coin-projection of a virtual river of fate. Instead, he was communing with the entire mental world at a deeper level. The feeling wasn’t very clear yet, but it was like he was accessing a part of himself that was locked away in his subconscious.
He was accessing his Authority over his visualisation. It wasn’t restoring it to be like before when it was only imaginary, and he had complete control, but it was him taking his rightful place. The world was his creation, and he was its Way of Heaven. An omniscient observer, dictating the flow of the world, a beautiful amalgamation of rules.
This was obviously great news, and it bolstered Avery’s comprehension to unprecedented levels, but he worried what would happen when he surpassed the current bottleneck. What would happen when the connection was completely established?
In the end, he pushed those concerns away. He couldn't be sure if this was good or bad, but he had chosen to stick to this path, and so he would.
It was only a few weeks later that he felt that his consciousness was ready to completely link up to the virtual world, and he hesitated once more.
Being much closer to the breakthrough, he had a clearer understanding of what it entailed. He could now tell that it was not a normal step for a cultivator to go through, far from it. It wasn’t even something reserved to seers through their special skills. No, it was an opportunity unique to him granted to him by his one-of-a-kind mental world.
This was an incredible opportunity, but what it would actually give him was unknown. It would probably be an insane boost to his cultivation, but if he was unlucky it was possible it would simply lead to instant death. And in any case, it was clear it was another branching path, breaking off from the route he had sworn to follow.
There was no indication to help him determine if this alternate path was better or worse, only that it was different. Unsure what he should do, Avery even tried divining his own fate, something that was extremely hard to do. After many attempts, he finally succeeded in foreseeing a vague image, but all he got was a sacred and incomprehensible feeling.
This breakthrough was incredibly important, being somehow related to the Tao. It would be a life-changing event for him, but he couldn't be sure if it would be positive or negative.
It was like he was standing in front of the gates of paradise, but he was refusing to enter for no other reason than that he had previously promised not to enter. That and that it was technically possible it was actually a disguised portal to hell.
If it was before, he would not have hesitated to throw himself through that gate, no questions asked. The chances of it being a trap was infinitesimally small, and hesitating was like being afraid to ever step outside to avoid being hit by a falling meteorite. It was so unlikely it was almost negligible.
But now, he had enough foresight to take a step back and refuse this opportunity, because no shortcut was worth jeopardizing his ultimate goal. He was safe and in no rush, so it was better to stay true to his vow and keep following his path.
If there was even the smallest chance that this alluring path turned out to be a dead end, he could lose everything. And for what? For something that could not possibly be greater than the Tao, and that would eventually become irrelevant anyways as he reached his final destination. The risk was small, but the potential losses were too high and the gains too low for it to be an acceptable gamble.
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