Chapter 89 – Selfish Thoughts

“I just don’t know what to do.” She said as she reached the end of her story. She wasn’t even sure why she told Merril the story in the first place.

Maybe it was because of something she had been thinking about lately. Or maybe she just wanted to clear her thoughts to Merril, who knew that Levisia hadn’t been able to focus during the training.

She knew that Pel would leave her at some point, so she didn’t want to waste time thinking about that. Pel was precious to her, and there wasn’t much she could do knowing that the time for them to part ways was coming soon. Levisia couldn’t just grab him and hold him back, so they could only value the time they have right now.

However, since the black market, her relationship with him had grown estranged. And the problem was she didn’t even know the reason why.

“Is this, by any chance, about one of our siblings?” Merril laughed, lightly clapping Levisia between her shoulder blades.

Levisia paused right when she was about to answer no. Merril would want to know who she was talking about, and she couldn’t say Pel. That would cause even bigger problems. Levisia could only shrug as Merril continued speaking as if it didn’t matter.

“I don’t deal with talkative people. That guy you’re talking about seems to fall into that category.”

Levisia wondered how Pel could be talkative. He was the type to act before speaking in all likelihood. Not to mention when he did talk, he was a man of few words. His confession recently was a stark contrast to how he usually was.

“No, no. Normally he isn’t that way. It’s only recently that he’s become like this.” Levisia said, fiddling with the bandage around her wrist.

Merril had a troubled look on her face after she stopped tapping her chin with her index finger.

“Then it might be that he likes you but just can’t express it.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Likes me but just can’t express it? But he confessed to me, didn’t he?” Levisia frowned at Merril’s answer. “And what does this have to do with him avoiding me?”

“Well… Take, for example, the case of the three idiots who have immense feelings for you but can’t show it because they want to hide it from others. As a result, it feels like everyone is avoiding you, doesn’t it?”

The three idiots she was talking about were Lidan, Elizabeth, and Siaphyl. Merril said that even this morning those three had carelessly tried to win her affection. Even if their form of affection was different from Pel’s.

But still, Merril’s point of view helped a little. Because if Pel really interested in her and it was now avoiding her, there was only one reason: she was a member of the Kraiden Imperial family.

On top of that, there was the new attention from the Kraidens. Then it was nothing special for Pel, who was busy avoiding every Kraiden in existence, to put her on the list of people to avoid.

Because to Pel, she was no different from the princess of the empire that had destroyed his home. Even she had avoided Pel at the beginning, just in case she died at his hands.

Levisia was deep in thought, thinking about how their conversation had gone and all the things she had said to him. She had said that it wouldn’t be bad if Pel liked her. Because she didn’t think he’d leave the person he liked without saying a word. Even she knew how selfish that’d be. Levisia had just been thinking of how hurt she’d be when Pel leaves her.

But what was it that made her uncomfortable just thinking of the way he had avoided her because ‘there was nothing special’? Maybe she was more selfish than she imagined.

A realization seemed to dawn on her. She let out a gasp, causing Merril to jump a little.

“Looking at your complexion, I didn’t know what I was thinking to train you today. You should go back and rest.” She said, getting to her feet and holding her out for Levisia to take. They left the training grounds together and headed back towards the palace. In the entrance hall, Levisia’s maids were there ready to make a fuss over her and her bandaged hand.

Levisia was about to tell them that it was nothing but a little blister, when she saw Pel at the end of the hallway. The words died in her throat as their eyes locked.