Classless Ascension Chapter 79
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The playboy did the only thing he could think of doing. He did with his body what his shoulders had already done. He slumped on the ground entirely and began begging tearfully. "Please forgive me, there has been some sort of misunderstanding. Clearly!"
Of course, the flamboyant Kasha wouldn't leave it at that. "Do you think I'll forgive just you that easi-"
But Josh interrupted. "Kasha, it's enough" He interrupted the woman that none present dared to offend. He then turned to the shivering joke of a man. "Remember, my friend gave you an ultimatum. Either leave her the fuck alone or commit. Now, scram. You are disturbing my meal."
The man left as if he had been pardoned a crime. Behind remained a shaken girl, a completely baffled Dale, and a burning hot Kasha. She was resentfully staring daggers at him. If murder wasn't prohibited in the City, Josh would have probably already died.
She growled at him. "YOU!"
Dale watched in horror. He was torn between trying to help Josh and die with him or simply take care of his funerals. He felt the latter made more sense. He would make sure to recite the goddamn best eulogy for Josh. He would die for his sake. He felt himself choking with sadness. If he knew this was going to happen he would have never invited Josh there.
Yet Josh was simply calmly eating, sometimes even smacking his lips in contentment, he had truly been bloody starving after all. But to the spectators, it seemed totally crazy. The warrior lady nearby was akin to a volcano about to explode except she would probably be deadlier.
She growled once more: "Any last word?"
Josh offhandedly replied, "Let's eat first then we can go back to my place and I can show you how godly my little creature is."
It was at that moment that Dale realized that there would be no corpse left to bury. Why the Hell was Josh flirting with the girl that already was itching to kill him?! Of course, that is how he interpreted what had just been said.
But for Kasha, it had an entirely different meaning. It meant possibly seeing a legend itself! She was angry, extremely angry, but she was even more curious. Many simply knew her as a living harbinger of doom, but she also had this other side to her.
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This was how and why she had become a scout, simply to be able to discover new magical places. She wouldn't have been Kasha had she given up this golden opportunity. Thus she calmed down as if her previous anger had been only an illusion. Her mood changed so quickly that it stupefied all. Well, except Josh. He had been eating peacefully.
"Alright, hurry up and eat! The faster you finish this soup of yours and the faster we can go!"
"You may want to sit down, this is going to take a while. I've ordered quite a lot.", added Josh.
"Sit, where? You guys are sitting at a 2 seat table."
Dale became panicked and began to rise but Josh signaled him with a lazy hand movement to remain seated. Then he simply looked at Kasha then at his own lap.
"You're kidding, right?!" She couldn't help but recoil in surprise. Everyone knew her bad temper! Yet there he was trying to take advantage of her! Just as she was about to insult him, he simply shrugged. He was implying that he didn't especially care if she sat or not. No, he was simply appreciating his meal.
Was he trying to play hard to get? She would show him! She nonchalantly approached and sat on his lap as he wanted. But she swore that she would break his hand the moment he tried touching her. She would have a valid reason to do so then. But the more time passed and the more annoyed she became instead.
He wasn't paying her any attention, not one bit! Not at all! He kept eating. He had a beautiful woman on his lap and he didn't give a flying fuck about it! What kind of tactic was this?! He was clearly trying to use reverse psychology on her, right?!
But the more she observed him, the more incredulous she became. He was truly and simply enjoying the pleasure of eating. Then she realized that he had been eating for a long duration already while she had been lost in her thoughts.
"How many bowls have you had anyway? Are you going to be done soon?"
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"I'll eat for a while still. This is only my thirtieth." Josh replied.
Dale on the side only now truly understood that Josh wasn't kidding when he had declared to be very very hungry before.
"Oh, I understand then….wait, only?! Thirty?!" Kasha exclaimed.
He was serious! Even for her, such a feat was impossible. No matter how strong one became there was only so much a human could eat! Did he have a goddamn skill to help digestion already?!
How long would this take?! She very much disliked being ignored like that. She would rather be doing anything other than just sit there on his lap. Plus, she was getting totally ignored! How was some mushy soup more interesting than her!
She felt like punching him, but she still wanted to see the godly rat. That is when she repositioned herself slightly to be more conformable. She then thought of a brilliant plan to make him stop devouring and leave. Of course, the usual her would have never done something like that, but at that moment all she could think about was the godly pet.
She started grinding her plump ass against him, trying to distract him from his food. She was even feeling proud about her initiative. But no matter how hard she tried, Josh kept eating. He kept eating in fact until he had finished 60 portions in total and had inadvertently shattered her self-confidence completely.
Kasha had always believed in her charm. She was the one keeping people at bay. Now, she was starting to question her entire life. Was this why her teammates had gone in the Tower without her? Was she truly so boring? Was she…that is when she felt a gentle slap on her lower back, bringing her back to reality.
"You can get up now, I'll pay the bill and we can leave."
As she saw Josh's smiling expression she then realized. She could feel her life make sense again for she had come to a realization toward the young man. He was simply ….a fucking weirdo! He couldn't be understood with common sense!
Why had she even tried in the first place?! She felt quite silly for even attempting to tempt him, the guy was clearly frigid! At least, she was convinced.
That is when Dale bid them both goodbye. He was still shocked by everything that had happened. He had seen his now ex-crush for who she truly was and he would probably have lots of self-introspection to do.
As they watched him leave, Kasha suddenly turned serious. "Why did you let the man simply go? He disrespected Draconic and…"
"I don't give a flying fuck about that. Had you fucked with him further, he would have been driven into a corner. I don't want him to take revenge!"
"Draconic members are no cowards, we-"
"Exactly, Draconic members. I'm no saint but I won't sacrifice a friend for some illusory prestige. This is non-negotiable." Josh declared sternly.
Kasha couldn't help but shut up as she pondered about all the implications. She then exclaimed "You think so logically and you are completely unaffected by my charm: you clearly are a Killer Robot! I can't believe I was questioning my sex appeal!"
That is when Josh approached her. "You were questioning your sex appeal? Sorry about that. I didn't think you'd take it that badly. If it makes you feel better your ass felt very good. It's plump, bountiful, exquisite, voluptuous, has the perfect juiciness, and yet remains tight enough. So don't worry about it, any man would be more than happy to reenact the scene where Merlin stabs his Excalibur deep in the rock, but with your ass instead."
Then, Josh simply kept walking toward the sewers so they could have some privacy. For some reason, she was frozen in place.
He called out to her. "Are you coming?"
She seemed truly rattled: "…..What the fuck was that compliment?! No one is stabbing anything in my ass!" She shouted that but she still followed him obediently, all for that rat!...
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