Back to the present, Lillian repeated the words easy to find and chuckled. This is only the third book she found in the past ten years. Easy to find? It is more like impossible. After they found the first book, naturally they concluded somebody went into the tower and stole the books. But what she could never figure out is why the sacred beasts never attacked the person.

Or maybe it is like Lucas said. The beasts did attack, but the person managed to withstand it- Lillian paused in mid-thought. There is one person who could do that without leaving any trace.

But it struck her as odd why he, of all people, would feel the need to steal from another magician.

"Ramon, give me that key," Lillian instructed.

"Do you already know where it would lead to?"

"It is right in front of us." She took a few steps forward and placed her hand on the center of the wall. Lillian muttered a quick spell, and in the next second, a door slowly formed in front of them.

Lillian did not waste any time entering the room. The moment she did, she clenched her fist tightly.

Ramon followed behind her. "Lillian what-"

"This is the Empire," Lillian said as she flicked on the lights.

Torture tools covered the entire chamber. Dead bodies of women and children, statues of human males- Lillian already knew without looking properly. Those statues are the sons of elite rival families; they were stoned alive as they watched their mothers and sisters die in front of them.

"Lillian, this--" Ramon seemed horrified too.

"This is what I have to stop."

She wonders which one will win at the end of the day, the necessary evil or the greater evil? Either way, this is a burden only she can shoulder. Is that not why she has powers opposite to the Empress? Somebody has to do the dirty work for the sake of the peace of the Empire.

If it will lead to a better future, then she does not mind playing the role of the bad guy.

…

After collecting the evidence from the manor, the two of them left as quickly as they could. Lillian felt that if they stayed there any longer than reinforcements would have arrived. She wouldn't mind fighting them, but sir Ramon would not let her do that.

In fact, he dragged her out of the forest. It was early morning when they reached the nearest town.

Ramon dropped her wrist the moment they reached the town. "It should be safe here."

"…"

Lillian laughed. "The entire time you were acting like a gentleman, it was refreshing."

He did not hold her hand but just grabbed her wrist.

Ramon sighed. "Naturally, that I should. Are you alright? Would you like to rest for a bit before heading back?"

She looked at the quiet streets. Since it was early in the morning, there was no trace of other signs of life. "Then let us rest here for a while."

Lilian sat down on the edge of the fountain. "Ramon you-"

Her sentence fell short when he took a seat on the other side of the fountain. "Can I ask you a few questions?"

"You may."

"The last ten years, why did you not try to get in touch? Even though you said we ought to be cautious, I knew you did not mean breaking off contact."

Ramon sighed. "I did try to get in touch. But somebody intercepted my letters."

"My brother?"

"I believe it was sir Lucas."

Lilian blinked, surprised when she heard those words. "Why would Lucas?"

"It is just a hypothesis. But if I think about it, the only person who could have taken my letters for you was him."

Right since they used a bird to exchange letters, only somebody who is always with her would be able to take it. Now that she thought about it, she has not seen that bird in the last few years.

"I see."

So Lucas did something like that. It surprises her a little, but at the same time, it does not.

"Back then, when you saw the dead bodies in that room, you looked a bit strange. I thought for you a sight like that has become normal already."

"Indeed, it has."

How many wars did she attend? How many people did she kill, how many fallen soldiers did she see on the battlefield? How many innocent lives did she end up killing when the battlefield extended to the towns?

"I have always thought that the cruelest person in this Empire is me. There is nobody worse than me in this place, nobody who can be so cruel and vicious. But it seems I was wrong." Lillian recalled the sight of the bodies from earlier.

"Once again, I witnessed the cruelty of the Empire. At that moment, I wanted to do something foolish with these very hands and revive the dead."

"Lillian, that-"

"The highest taboo for anybody with magic since it requires several living sacrifices. Even the most corrupt members in the Empire do not think of using it. After all the dead died for a reason, they have lost their purpose. Reviving them will do no good."

"There are some things that the dead have left to say; that is why there are those who do use that magic. But the revived cannot disobey the person who revived them, so it works as a double-edged sword. When the dead die, it is best not to revive them since it would mean disrespecting the life they threw away, whether it was by choice or not." Ramon commented.

So he is the type of person who can see things that way.

Lillian extended her hand out towards the sky. "But what if I had done that? It would not have solved anything. Even if I brought them back and heard what they have to say, the life they lost would never return. They would remain as puppet corpses for the rest of their lives."

"Yes, that is right."

"Right now, any choices I make, the weight of my fingertips, turn heavy every single action I take. Unlike before, where I had nothing to lose and could behave recklessly, I have much to lose now."

"Are you talking about sir Lucas?"

A weak smile appeared on her face. "You must keep this conversation a secret from others, Ramon. This is a moment of weakness. The only reason I can show you such pathetic behavior is because you knew me before I became this ruthless and cruel."

"Are you saying you weren't cruel back then?"

"Perhaps I was, but that depends on how you would define the word cruel."

"Then let me be the one to answer that question-" Another voice said.

Her eyes widened when she felt the familiar presence of somebody behind her. Lillian immediately turned around, and the person pulled her into his arms.

"Im late, Lillian, but did you find it?" It was Lucas, but Lillian could tell that he was severely injured.

She bit her lip but slowly nodded her head. "Mission complete."