Back to the present

Leon knows everything and it's been two years! Nicole doesn't even know what to say. Recalling everything that happened in the study room that day, she closed her eyes and nervously squeezed the blanket that covered her lower body.

Sawing her reaction, Leon struggled for words to say. He already knows that she would hate him more if he told her the truth! Why did he lose control and said such things to her? He doesn't know what was currently going on in her mind, but still, he wished that she won't despise him too much.

"Nicole, I -"

"Get out." She uttered, interrupting whatever he was trying to say.

"Please listen to me. I never -"

"I said get out! Leave me alone!" She yelled as she opened her eyes. Her gaze was sharper than ever before! She looked at him with so much hatred and that broke his heart!

"Why?" She muttered. "Seeing how pathetic my life is, do you pity me? You know everything the whole time yet you feign ignorance. Why did you make me look like a fool?!"

Now, she was convinced that he surely saw the little wound on her neck that day in the departmental store. He also lose his cool in front of Alex Jo that day in her office, all because he knows how she was controlled by her step-mother! Yet he never said a single word to her.

She realized what a fool she was! He made it that obvious yet she didn't have a single clue! Most importantly, she was feeling embarrassed and ashamed!

"I already said that I love you. Do you think my love for you is that impotent?" Leon could felt his throat that was running dry due to the pressure that he felt. "I always..." He paused when the conversation he heard that day crossed his mind once again.

He asked himself what he was expecting. He already knew her situation very well! He was also sure that she won't give a damn about him. Those eyes of hers that stared at him with despised, it was too much for him.

"I will leave for now. Take care." He rose from his seat and turned his back at her. As always, he chose to be a coward again.

"You should at least explain yourself. Are you really leaving just like this?" She asked him. Her face was unexpectedly calm.

Leon who was making his way to the door halted and narrowed his eyes. He always finds it hard to ignore her. Even in the past, he always finds himself succumbing to the wishes of this woman which he didn't care.

Slowly turning around to face her once again, he mustered up his courage to ask her one question which bothered him more than everything else. "Then let me ask you one question. Do you like that celebrity? Do you love him?" He already knows the answer but he still asked her. He even asked himself who was he trying to fool!

Nicole finds herself in loss for words to say. She was reminded again how she rejected the actor coldly and it was just yesterday. Ever since then, the pain in her heart never left her. She told herself that she must endure it. If she let her feelings get the best of her again as she did five years ago, regret might be the only thing that awaited her!

"Is that important?" She put up a nonchalant face. "You know my situation well. Besides, even if we get married, it will be just an empty marriage." She deliberately chose words that would hurt him, hoping that he might give up on her.

"It's important, at least for me." His voice was firm and relentless. He stared at her right in the eyes, refusing to back down easily.

She observed him for a few seconds, all while putting up a blank face. He seemed confident but she managed to figure him out. She shifted her gaze from him and replied, "You already know. Why bother to ask me?"

"I want to hear it from you. Just answer me." He was nervous but he won't show it. He walked towards her once again and stood just next to her bed.

"You know that I'm always honest, right? I indeed like him but..." She recalled the face of Aston who was pained by her cruel words the other night. "That doesn't mean that I will be with him. I won't involve myself with those feelings again."

She looked at Leon who was standing next to her. "So, you should leave me alone too. You will only be hurt if you try to make an emotional connection with me. Don't let my step-mother know that you are aware of her actions. She is not one to be underestimated."

"What if I don't want to do that?"

Nicole frowned at his stubbornness. "Leon, please! Do you know how it feels like to stain your hands with blood? When the weaker ones beg you for mercy and everyone misunderstood you yet you cannot do anything! What's more worse is that..." She paused and took a deep breath.

"People committed suicide because of me. If you don't know such scary feelings, leave me alone. I'm sick of seeing people suffering because of me." Her voice becomes lower and lower until it trailed off, stunning her fiance next to her.

"Nicole, I -"

"Just leave." She squeezed the blanket and turned her head away, refusing to look at Leon.

Standing still with his head hung low, Leon realized that he didn't know her well at all! He knows that she was controlled by her evil step-mother but he didn't know that she suffered this much! It made him felt more ashamed of himself!

Hesitating to make her act up again, he reluctantly took a step back followed by another step. Finally, he turned around and left the room.

As soon as her fiance left, Nicole pressed her back against the headboard of her bed. "What a fool." She muttered to herself.

Out of all the women in this world, why her? There were many good and worthy women who would accept him without even thinking twice! But why should it be her?! She won't complain even if he loved another woman as cherishing a woman like her would only bring him harm.

She wondered if that would be enough to make him give up. He deserved better. That's what she thought.

Then she glanced at her phone which was lying just next to her when she heard her ringtone. Sawing Aston's name on the caller ID, she was more than tempted to answer the call.

His little jokes and teasing that always made her laugh and forget everything else; she missed the feeling that he gave her. A feeling which always made her forget her worries and pain, even if it's just for a while, it means a world for someone like her!

Just for a split second, she put her thumb finger above the green button, feeling tempted to swipe it. Recalling her words last night, she shook her head and reluctantly rejected his call. She was afraid that he would make her lose control again, so she switched off her phone right away.

She then lies down on the bed and forced herself to close her eyes.....