"Zeref. Wake up!" Jace rushed in on a Friday morning.

As soon as I heard his voice, my eyes snapped open and I leaped out of the bed, rushing past him. I sped down the hall and nearly broke down Malia's door while rushing in. My shoulders dropped in disappointment to see her still unconscious in her bed. She was even paler than yesterday.

Jace came up from behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder in comfort.

"I thought…" my head spun from the sudden awakening.

"You thought she woke up?" Jace finished off my sentence and I nodded, rubbing the sleep off my eyes. "Sorry… I shouldn't have woken you up like that. I came in to tell you we are late for school."

"WHAT?!" my eyes widened before I scrambled to the bathroom.

"I'll get your bag ready." he yelled after me, carefully shutting Malia's door and making his way downstairs for breakfast.

**

"I'm planning to choose the study of shape shifting for our careers day." Jace said, shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

The school was arranging a careers day and each student had to pick one lesson out of 5 that they wanted to learn about for the day.

It was supposed to help us decide what we wanted to be in the future. I wasn't too sure on what any of the lessons meant so I'd have to discuss it with mum and Xanxus at the dinner table later on.

"I plan on choosing treatment against mana loss since I wanna be a healer, just like your mum." Naz came in with her tray, sitting next to me.

"You can't be a healer. Your branched element is to do with darkness not Earth." Jace scoffed, shifting in his seat from her sudden presence.

"Actually, a healer can be any element. Earth healers are just more common because their methods are easy. A shadow healer is possible but the way you heal others would be different to the way earth healers would because they both rely on a different element." I corrected him as Naz gave him a smug look.

"Exactly. It's going to be really hard but I can do it. Shadow healers are rare but the best type of healers. They can heal people who are near death." Naz smirked smugly, twirling a strand of her hair.

"Okay, okay I surrender." Jace put his hands up in submission, rolling his eyes at Naz's 'I win' look. Naz and I laughed, high-fiving each other.

"Any updates on Malia?" Naz said in a hopeful voice.

"Paler than yesterday." Jace whispered, losing the smile on his face. "I'm trying to be optimistic but she looks like she's… dying." a lone tear fell down his face before he hurriedly wiped it off.

"She's not dying." I glared at him, feeling myself go red with anger.

"Zeref, you said it yourself, it's only so long before Malia becomes immune to your mum's healing magic. Your mum's one of the top healers of her time and even she is struggling to provide Malia enough nutrients. Whatever that beast was, it was strong enough to-"

My mind buzzed as I roared, spiralling into a fit of chaos. The windows of the canteen burst at my outrage causing students to scream in shock.

I stood up, flipping the table up into the air and fly-kicking it into bits. Food flew everywhere and Naz let out a shriek. Yells and screams swarmed the canteen before students leaped over each other to get through the exit.

Before I could even blink, even the canteen staff were out, leaving Jace, Naz and I alone in the destruction.

"SHE ISN'T GOING TO DIE!" I yelled in his face, losing my mind. The chairs and tables all flew into the walls as a wave of mana surged out of me. Jace shrunk under me, shocked to say the least.

Flashes of Nina's death flicked through my mind and I could feel Naz trying to shake me out of my trance. I could hear the faded voice of Jace and my heavy breathing. I tried to shake the memories out, yelling in the process and collapsing onto the floor with my head buried in my hands.

I felt as if I was reliving the memory; watching as the ceiling collapsed on top of Nina. The last thing I saw was a glimpse of her tattered dress and her last scream of pain. I relived the feeling of fear, freezing my body in a merciless ice.

"Zeref! What's wrong?! Jace! Get Mr Xanxus!" Naz's voice finally started to seep through my cracked walls of defence.

"ZEREF! LISTEN TO ME!" she kneeled next to me and grabbed my face, forcing me to look at her. "She is okay. Everything is okay." her voice was slow and clear and her method of calming me was soothing.

"Nothing is going to happen." She brought my face into her arms, hugging me and surrounding me with warmth and safety.

Something in me snapped back in place and I finally felt my senses gather back into my mind. My panic retreated and a feeling of regret weighed me down.

I sighed in her arms, my throat aching to let out even a small part of pain I was feeling, aching to let out a cry or whimper- but I didn't.

I stayed quiet, leaning into her hug, squeezing my eyes shut with the fear of a tear escaping. Why did I lose control like that?

Naz rubbed my back, rocking my head back and forth and running her hands through my hair. "You like Malia don't you?" she whispered cautiously. I had no energy to reply. What was my reply? Do I like Malia?

Footsteps finally made their way into the canteen.

**

I sat at the table, sucking on my straw and gulping down the orange juice while peering at the annoyed face on Mr Xanxus's face. Jace sat next to me, also sipping his juice quietly.

"It isn't his fault." Mum defended me, glancing at me while I slurped the juice quietly.

"My canteen is in pieces and some students were hurt from the bursting window! What am I meant to say to their parents?" Mr Xanxus frowned, dropping his fork.

"Just say: 'I'm sorry. One of our students accidentally destroyed our canteen after experiencing a panic attack. Oh, and no, he wasn't suspended nor got any professional help." Mike suggested sarcastically, stabbing his steak.

"Mike." Mum warned, glaring at him. "Xanxus we will pay for the expenses, just don't suspend-"

"Suspend?! I'd never suspend Zeref. He is the strongest pupil in our school. I just want compensation for ruining my canteen." he said, chewing on the steak.

Mum finished her food, leaving the room before coming back in with an envelope in her hand. She placed it in front of Mr Xanxus and picked up Jace and my plates without a word.

"Sorry Rosaline. I need-" Mr Xanxus tried to say but she had already left.

**

After that day, days started to turn grey for me; time went awfully slow and I couldn't get myself to feel any emotions.

I stabbed at my salad before I decided to stand up. My chair screeched and practically everyone in the canteen flinched. Sighing, I stormed out, needing a breather. Naz and Jace ran after me until we made it outside.

"Zeref, are you okay?" Naz called from behind me, barely grasping the back of my shirt so I could stop walking.

"No." I deadpanned. "Now leave me alone."

Naz let go of my shirt, slightly pouting at my coldness. I felt hollow, like nothing could fill the large gap in me and it scared me. I felt so tired of waiting and my emotions just dulled into my open wounds, stinging them, but I didn't flinch because I was already numb to it.

I was numb from the waiting, the constant checking to see if Malia was awake, the never ending worry that she'd never wake up and the constant fear that I'd lose her.

There was no skin over my pain; it's swelling and the slightest brush of wind made it bleed but I didn't retract from the pain anymore. It just sat heavily in my heart, growing and growing and eventually, the hole will keep growing till it eats me away, until there's nothing left except a dead shell.

"Dude, no need to get rude." Jace shook his head at me, patting Naz's back.

"I didn't ask you to follow me." I rolled my eyes, turning back around and walking away from him.

"I swear, your attitude these days-" Jace sighed and pulled my shoulder back before I could get far, spinning me around to face him. I looked down at him since he was just above my shoulders.

"Hold me back Naz!" he said, sizing me up. Naz stood behind him with her hands in her pockets, not moving. "Naz, I said hold me back." he whisper-shouted, trying again, this time looking back at her.

She looked at him with a disappointed 'seriously' look on her face. "You haven't even moved…" she half smiled making me smirk.

"I'm going to… so you better prevent me or Imma punch his skull in." he was met with silence from her end so instead, he turned back to me, stepping forwards before taking two steps back.

"This brat! I'll show him." he jumped at me in an attempt to scare me but I didn't move, looking unamused.

"Uhuh… sure." Naz nodded her head slowly, the sarcasm clear in her voice.

I raised my fingers to flick his forehead but he was already on the floor before I'd even touched him, screaming his lungs out. Naz and I shared a look of 'omg what's wrong with him' before she nodded at me.

I finally turned to leave, walking away from a screaming Jace cradling his stomach on the floor.

I didn't even punch him that hard.