Hearing the words, I slowly shifted my gaze towards Yunhee beside me blankly, then looked at the coffin with a deeper sorrow while gently caressing it.

"Do you want to open it? You want to see Lee, don't you? He definitely wants to see you too," Yunhee spoke again as if opening this coffin would make me feel better.

Of course, if the one that laid in it was Donghwa, then I didn't know how I would cry over him later.

I immediately looked at Yunhee after he said his words. There was a moment of silence before I nodded weakly.

Yunhee immediately smiled without saying anything as if he was mocking me. It was like a slyness in the tip of his lips, but it didn't show in his eyes.

Yunhee's face was still as arrogant as ever. But, now, behind the arrogance, there was a sadness about "losing a friend". He also seemed to still be able to grieve for a friend, considering the values ​​of pride in him were far from reasonable.

Two seconds later, he lifted the coffin, and immediately I saw someone who had spent so much time with me over the years was laying in it.

His face was very pale but looked calm as if he could just flap his wings to fly after being shackled in suffering for so long. But, even so, there was still a lingering trace of sadness that could be clearly seen on his face even with his eyes closed and lost his soul.

It's really Donghwa ....

Seeing Donghwa laying in a black suit, I couldn't help but cry and regret what I had previously decided.

All the pain from the start to the end fused at the same time and made my weary eyes tear up, bringing out their last strength with a strong sadness impulse from the many things that had passed.

"Donghwa ... Brother Lee, wake up, I beg you. I'm back for you ... I'm here ...."

While crying, I tried hard to wake him up, hoping he was just sleeping.

"Donghwa, I'm here … quickly get up and greet me … I beg you … don't make me wait …."

My voice trembled violently from the pain. Of all these bad things — today was the worst. I could no longer hold it all at once, so I started to go crazy and stirred his body to wake him up from ... an eternal resting ....

"Donghwa, wake up, you bastard! Don't play with me like this! Wake up! Open your eyes! Don't—"

"Park, stop." Yunhee held my body which was currently gripping the collar of Donghwa's shirt, trying to make him open his eyes.

"It's useless. He will never open his eyes," Yunhee continued.

Hearing this, I immediately awoke like someone who had just risen from the dead and realized that all this wasn't a dream.

Donghwa is really dead ....

Instantly my body went limp. Luckily, Yunhee was holding both my arms, so I didn't fall to the ground. Covering my face with my palms, I sobbed loudly, louder and louder than before, while Yunhee said nothing and let me cry.

I kept trying to push myself to think that this was just a dream and I would soon wake up. However, the pain, the regret, the guilt, felt so real that it proved that this was a harsh reality that I had to face.

I slowly straightened my back, then touched Donghwa's face which felt so cold and stiff, then moved his hand to stroke it with all the tenderness I had, and kissed it with a warm affection that still remains in my heart. But, what I found was that his hands got cold more than the winter chill.

However, something on his wrist caught my attention. I quickly turned his hand and saw a long wound with several stitches on the inside of his wrist.

This was a pretty deep cut. I was shocked and immediately covered my mouth tightly with my other hand so as not to scream with tears rolling down my face incessantly.

I turned to Yunhee with an ironic look. Without saying anything, it seemed that Yunhee already knew what I was about to ask, so he said in a deep voice as if there was sadness and anger he was holding back.

"He took his own life."

Now, guilt dominated in my heart and I cursed myself.

Why are you so stupid to end your own life in this way?!

I never wanted him to do anything this far. He still had a future at the edge of his eyes, but he foolishly chose to stop on the same path, just because he was abandoned by someone like me?

I was sure there were plenty of people out there who liked him. But, why was he so stupid to choose a path like this instead of having to find a new one?

"...."

Heh, I just remembered ... he was stupid ... and very reckless.

Why did I forget about that?

I felt like laughing at myself right now.

I thought this was all a misunderstanding between us. From the start, I thought Donghwa didn't like me anymore and was bored with our old relationship and there was nothing new in it, so he looked to someone else out there for a pleasure that had more satisfaction guaranteed qualities for him.

Until finally I realized everything today that deciding to break up with him was indeed a mistake.

Actually, I knew this from the start, but I'd rather make a fool of myself than had to deal with our toxic relationship.

Now, I believed that he really lost me to the point of taking his own life.

Oh, my, how stupid I was that time ....

It was like a punch to my face. It hurt so much, but I deserved it!

"Brother Lee, wake up, please."

I was silent for a few seconds as if waiting for an answer from the body of the person I loved in front of me. However, getting no response, I spoke again with all sorrow in my voice while stroking his head gently, hoping for some miracle to make him open his eyes.

"I'm here for you now. Don't you want to welcome me? Please, look at me. I'm home now."

"You want to start over, don't you? We'll do it. We'll get our relationship back to how it was before — just the way you want it. I'm not leaving again and I'll be with you to the end. Like I said back then in college ...." I paused for a moment, took a deep breath. As soon as I wanted to say my next words, it felt like my heart was breaking.

However, I didn't know what I expected to say my words even though it hurt me.

"Donghwa, I promised never to leave you, right? So, please, wake up, and let me promise one more time. I swear that this time I won't break it. I promise."

I knew quite clearly that these words were useless.

However, there was a foolish hope in my mind that kept persuading me which something like this would wake him up immediately with excitement on his face.

Donghwa was someone who always wanted to be persuaded. This habit had always existed in him since a long time ago when he was sulking.

I remembered very well when we were in college, he would never talk to me if I didn't persuade him first. So, that's t why I had such a hopeless wish. I just wanted him to listen to me like before.

It truly hurt and more painful, but I had lost my mind to think something ....

However, sensing his body devoid of any warmth, which felt cold continuously, the hope was instantly shattered with the feeling that was in it.

Yunhee was right that no matter how hard I tried to wake him up, it would never happen.

But, even though my mind had realized it, my own heart was still asking me to repeat the same words over and over again.

I kissed his forehead, then repeating the words that revealed how hopeless I was now.

"Donghwa, wake up, please, let's go home. Don't sleep in this place, I beg you. Listen to me this time okay?" As I said, there was a sob I held in my chest, and it tore my feelings apart at once.

It was like a crazy act. But, from the start, I was crazy about him, even with all the pain he gave me, sticking with him for three years was the craziest thing I had ever done.

Even though I said I no longer loved him, I actually loved him more than I thought. Even though I said I wanted to break up, I actually wanted to be with him forever.

But what? He once made me feel hurt so much that made me decide something against my heart and in the end, I regretted everything.

From the start, I knew that I would regret everything. But, I was just trying to convince myself and manipulate my heart that the choice was right.

People said that our heart had never lied — it was true. It was the mouth that denied everything, while the heart would feel the consequences of the lies of words in the end.

Amid my sorrow, Yunhee's voice sounded like darkness in despair and hit my chest in an instant. It was a reality that seemed to wake me up in the cruelest way.

"Park, that's useless to say them today."