The Last Snow: Love Me Once Again For A Year Chapter 131
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No matter how gentle the words were and how subtly they caressed my heart, the pain in them didn't diminish in the slightest. I felt like I had lost his trust and left a bad impression that made me feel very anxious.
I turned my face to the side, muttering, "It's useless. It's all over."
Donghwa was silent for a long time after hearing my words, before he slowly moved his body away, then sat in silence beside me.
Feeling that he was moving away, I slowly turned to him. As soon as our eyes met, I could see the darkness enveloping his eyes like a thick haze. After that, I carefully got up while struggling to push the empathy inside of me away.
There was silence for a while until Donghwa suddenly exclaimed, "Chunghee, you have a nosebleed!"
Frantically he was about to clean the blood that was coming out of my nose using the sleeve of his coat. However, before he did, my hand reflexively brushed his hand. I said indifferently, "No need."
I slightly shifted my body and reached for the tissue box beside the bed, then immediately cleaned the blood around my nose and lips.
Arguing with him was always alarming. As it went on, it would also make things get worse for me!
Actually, I had to rest a lot today, but this harsh reality really made me have to put out all the strength I had just for something named 'love'.
Before I finished cleaning the blood, Donghwa suddenly stood up and pulled my hand firmly. "We have to go to the hospital now."
Those words were a firm-sounding command. His face that looked more serious than before confirmed everything.
However, I was as stubborn as Donghwa when it came to myself. I roughly pulled my hand back to my chest and refused the offer, "No need. I told you, I don't like being forced by you!"
He didn't say anything. He only returned to pull my arm roughly so that I fell out of the bed. Turning for a moment, without pity he then pulled my arm up to make me stand up, but I tried so hard to hold my body so that it caused the pain in my arm as if it was going to break.
"It hurts, you jerk!" I shouted. "Are you going to break my arm?! Get off me!"
He turned his head, glared at me. He was completely different from before when he showed his pathetic face.
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Does he intend to set me up again?
He said in a flat tone, "You don't want to come home with me, so I'm taking you to the hospital."
As soon as he finished his sentence, he bent down and immediately lifted my body. With great surprise, I struggled for him to put me down immediately, but it was useless. He was very different from Daehyun who always gave in and obeyed my words, or at least asked me something nicely. Donghwa wasn't that kind of person.
Before passing through the door, I shouted again as loud as I could, "Donghwa, stop!"
After that, he immediately stopped walking. He looked at me in disbelief before he slowly put my body down without a word.
I glanced at him sharply before turning around and headed for the bed.
It turned out that Donghwa followed me from behind and sat on the bedside. He sighed lethargically as his face turned angry. Even so, when he spoke, it still sounded gentle, "Chunghee, stop being so stubborn like that. Get rid of your anger and come with me to the hospital right now."
Hearing him say this, there was something like it was blocking my lungs. It felt so tight as if it was choked by a strange object in my throat. Then, with a pathetic expression, I lifted my eyes, and asked, "What did you just say? My anger?"
Silent, his face turned confused. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, a heavy slap landed on his face!
"You think I'm angry ?!"
After slapping his face, I shouted as I threw the pillow at him with a strong force — intending to throw him out without words — as he always said nonsense that pissed me off.
However, he didn't even dodge the slightest bit as if he was ready to accept anything, even if I would have slapped him in the face again.
I gritted my teeth. Now, all those painful things were getting more and more burning inside of me, causing intense outbursts of anger, which I had never even felt before.
Of the many words that I said and the many explanations I gave to convince him, I didn't think that he still thought that way.
Finally, after pausing for a few seconds, I shouted once again, concluding why this separation had to happen.
"I'm not angry. I'm in pain! It's because of you! You put me there, you jerk!"
"All this time, because I always obeyed your shits, you took that chance to fool me! How many times have I said this?! Keeping up with someone who kept hanging my feelings, that's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life!" I let this feeling flow, as it wanted.
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"You think after knowing all your rottenness and getting all that rudeness of you, do you think I didn't feel anything? Do you think by showing a smile that I could accept the pains?! Of course, not! It really hurts me, damn Lee! Do you know how I felt when I called you but heard you were making love to someone else? It hurt me! You always lied to me, it hurt me too! But I ignored them because I was trying to stand once again because of this fucking relationship!"
"Just so you know, all of that can't make me angry, other than hurt!" With a pause, I continued, "You said you're going to fix everything ... fix what?! Me? You can't fix me because I'm not broken, idiot! You can never fix this relationship either if one of us feels hurt! If even if I come back to you, everything will not be the same as before!"
I kept shouting until my throat ached like vomiting many glasses. "I am in pain because of all this bullshit! All this time I have continued to stand for this but it turns out it's useless! Nothing hurts more than fighting for nothing in this world! So, do you still think that you can fix everything?!"
"Chunghee ...."
"Shut up!" I looked at him angrily, and said," If you think I'm angry with you, then now I'm really angry with you! I'm not angry at this relationship but I'm angry because you made me fall in love with you, but in the end, you played with me."
I paused for a second, then laughed hollowly. "But, I can still appreciate that. At least, you guys didn't make love in my bed. Or ... maybe you guys had done it while I was working? If so, you cleaned our room well. I never smelled the scent of your cum in there. You know, just smelling someone else's scent on your clothes almost made me want to puke, moreover—"
Instantly Donghwa pulled my body, and in an instant, I was in his arms. I could clearly hear the sound of his rapid breathing and racing heart. "I swear. I never did that dirty thing in there."
I cried loudly. However, I believe what he said. He couldn't possibly dare to do that.
Any longer in this position had turned the atmosphere a little calmer.
When no one spoke to each other, suddenly Donghwa's voice was heard gently, "Okay, then. I give up. Even doing a defense, you will still blame me, right? Yeah, this is my fault." pausing, he continued, "So now tell me, what do I have to do to make up for the mistake?"
Stunned, suddenly a sense of guilt emerged from the other side of my heart. I never expected that he would ask such a question. It almost made me melt, but luckily, a little strength still kept me standing. Then, I replied in a low voice, "I just want you to leave — disappear from my life — Never see me again."
After saying this, Donghwa slowly freed my body as he looked at me with disappointment at his shady face. His two hands were still on mine and spoke, "So, I really won't get that chance?"
He lifted his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. However, not wanting him to wish that way, I looked away; showing reluctance to comment.
He suddenly laughed hallowly that sounded like someone who had lost his sanity.
Feeling astonished, I glanced at him to make sure he could understand. But, before I found the answer, he already lowered his head.
His head hung so I couldn't see how his expression was. But, when I saw the teardrops that were falling and the more, I knew he was crying. It made me feel like I was the only one who 'hurt' him in this situation.
Right now, I really wanted to hug him and tell him not to cry over this decision, yet I couldn't. I had to hold back my pity to make him realize that this was the reality that we had to face.
After calming down enough, he lifted his head, showed many tear marks on his face, and said, "I'll do it. But, I have to confirm something ... do you regret to have a relationship with me?"
My breath gasped all of a sudden. For a few seconds, my body had a serious malfunction. I couldn't move and even forgot to breathe.
What answer should I give?
Faking the truth or telling the truth?
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