Why is he here all of a sudden?

How does he know I'm here?

The questions gradually gathered like water overflowing in my head, made my mind fill up with many thoughts, as if it was going to spit out many words of hatred that had been petrifying over the years.

God truly had other wills and I had absolutely didn't know anything that was behind our lines of destiny.

I was not a pious person but usually, I would always be grateful for everything. However, it was different from this moment where I really couldn't be grateful for anything.

Didn't I say that I no longer wanted to meet him even if it was just a second?

But God didn't care anymore how I screamed — How every cell in my heart begged not to be mourned by the pain of this kind of encounter — but no one would listen.

In the past, I always waited for him to return home every night in solitude and uncertainty until I thought that I was quite familiar with the loneliness. I didn't know how much time I had spent doing that, even I could still hear the chuckling of the clock at midnight, laughing at my foolishness to wait for someone who didn't even give me certainty.

However, now, after running away from all this pain and expecting nothing more from him, why did this figure have to arrive at the door?

God's plan was indeed the most perfect thing.

I was still stunned in disbelief and began to think something insane. I wanted God to take my life this second instead of seeing his face right now!

I want to die ...

It's better to die ...

Words that even a sane person would never say.

But, I really wanted to die.

I froze in silence, staring at the figure standing right in front of me with my eyes widened open. I never expected to face a moment like this and didn't expect it to happen here, made my heart scream because of the trauma it had experienced continuously due to a belief I once believed.

My heart had swallowed disappointment too many times, one more disappointment would make it die, or even already die?

I don't want to see him again ...

But why...

Why does this have to happen now?

I didn't blink a bit until I felt my tear glands as if they were going to burst so that the beads of tears would burst out like an explosion of joy being crushed. But, I tried hard to hold myself from crying.

Over time, I could feel the cold sweat on my back flowing down as shock rose inside my heart, made my whole body tremble violently.

I eyed his face. His two eyes widened with his lips slightly parted. He couldn't hide his surprised look, emitting a relief that made his face burn with enthusiasm.

On the other hand, he was also looking at me. It was those damn eyes again, which made me feel as if I was the only person he saw and still loved the way he used to, and made me suffer the way I was today. The color of his eyes turned bright as he looked at me in the past. By those eyes, I could see how much his love from the past was now blooming like flowers in early spring.

As if buffeted by the spring breeze, a line of smiles pulled the corners of his lips upwards, forming a bright crescent moon. Then, unexpectedly, he suddenly pulled my arm deep enough, and in the blink of an eye, I was already in the embrace of the two strong arms that had once been my shelter as well as a place where to torment me, made me sink into joy and sorrow that became one like great distress on my chest.

Being in his broad chest, I smelled Chypre's scent in a black coat he wore — a familiar old scent — which seemed to merge into every cell of my lungs — I felt nostalgic with memories.

For a moment, I felt very comfortable and familiar in his arms. Tears nearly welled up in my eyes as memories flashed by, and subconsciously muttered, "Donghwa ...."

"Chunghee ... my Chunghee ...."

He kept saying my name as if the only word in his head was my name. There was a deep pain in his voice that sounded suppressed as if choked with sobs.

I could hear the suffocating cry that was about to leave his pounding chest.

"Chunghee ... I came to take you home."

In this situation, I was still in a daze. However, as soon as I heard the words as if I was electrocuted by a high voltage. I suddenly gasped like a man who had just been pulled when he was about to sink into a sea of ​​rotten memories. The familiar scent on his body almost made me fall asleep that carried many stories with him.

I started struggling to escape!

"Let go of me! Let go!"

I tried to push his body hard; tried to remove his hands that were getting tighter and tighter on my body, but it was just a futile act.

He was too strong for me, plus my position that was clamped tightly in his two arms made it impossible for me to easily break free.

His voice trembled and there were painful sobs as soon as he spoke, "Chunghee, stop playing around, come back with me ... I've been waiting for you for a long time, so I beg you, come home with me now."

As soon as he finished his sentence, he slightly loosened his embrace, but still gripped my arms firmly while staring into my eyes.

I stared at him in silence. fortunately, I managed to stand and didn't shed tears in vain.

Something in my heart quickly disappeared. I was so grateful that the feeling of love steadfast, silly, stupid, unshakable, disappeared from my heart when I remembered how he used to treat me like the only one who had betrayed our relationship.

Has he forgotten how cruel he was and now he's come to ask me back home with him?

I wondered, 'Will he be able to heal the hurt he has given him over the years by coming back with him?'

Did he think that all of this could be fixed by living together one more time?

Suddenly, Donghwa grabbed my wrist, then pulled me forcefully towards the car where Hoonsik was standing there with a dumbfounded look.

With great effort, I refused and tried to hold my body. I knew that right now, he didn't fully use his strength to drag me away, but that could be called his mistake.

Unexpectedly, Daehyun came from behind my back. He immediately pushed Donghwa so hard that he staggered back a few steps, then fell on the snow. Daehyun immediately pulled me inside the house and locked the door.

I was shocked, but couldn't do anything about it.

Instinctively, my body was about to move to help Donghwa, but I didn't have a chance to do it because Daehyun pulled me tight.

My body was bony, so as soon as Daehyun pulled my arm with great force all of a sudden as if made my arms feel was going to be cut off.

While inside, Donghwa continuously shouted behind the door while banging hard on the door, as if he was about to destroy it.

"Daehyun! You bastard! Open the door!" Donghwa shouted out there.

I stared at the door that was shaking from being banged hard before turning my eyes to Daehyun who looked unapologetic. Then, in disbelief, I stammered, "Wh-why did you do that? You ... you don't have to push him that hard."

Donghwa was still shouting out there, cursing Daehyun with all kinds of words for upsetting him, so loudly, even his voice could be heard clearly in this room.

However, by pretending to ignore him, I tried to remain calm and seriously looked at Daehyun who was still on the same expression.

"Isn't it what I should be doing?" he said, striking. His shady face suddenly turned ruthless, without a hint of guilt.

Slowly, I lowered my gaze. Indirectly, the words offended me, who shouldn't have to worry about how he would treat Donghwa as he pleased.

Maybe he's right. I didn't need to worry no matter how he acted and how he could make Donghwa away from me. That's because I often said that I didn't have any feelings for Donghwa anymore.

But ...

Do I always look weak and merciful like this or maybe quite stupid to make a decision?

Or it could be the feeling that is still in my chest starting to overflow again?

To be honest, I couldn't see Donghwa being treated like that right in front of my eyes. It might not be appropriate to say, but I felt sorry. The feeling of being unwilling could only sink into my helpless situation.

All I could do was just lowered my head and swallow up all the words I couldn't convey!