I didn't want to talk about this any longer, so I asked for something else to escape from this topic and didn't want to get caught up with his sweet words that could trap me at any time. "Why did you want to pick me up all of sudden? You shouldn't have to do this because I'm used to going home alone."

Lee Donghwa smiled. "Because I want to. We haven't been this close in a while, have we?" He paused for a second. "But, what's wrong if I pick up my lover anyway? I can pick you up and drop you off when I'm on leave. You just never asked me to do it."

"..."

He took a silent breath. "Well, do you want to stop by the restaurant where we had dinner?"

I leaned my head against the window and answered in a weak voice, "No. Just take me home."

Finishing my words, Donghwa suddenly pinched my cheek gently, "Honey, you—" But, before he finished his sentence, he suddenly exclaimed, "You have a fever!"

I grinned, and said in a light tone, "That's why I want to go home."

When we got to the apartment, Donghwa helped me to lie down on the bed. He took off my shoes and scarf, then pulled the blanket to cover my body. "Get some rest. I'll make food first." He kissed my forehead gently before asking, "Did you go to the hospital on foot?"

I nodded weakly in response.

"Why do you prefer walking instead of using your money to take a taxi? I always send money to you every month and you also have a salary, then why don't you ever use the money? Don't be too stingy with yourself. If your money runs out, don't hesitate to ask me. I don't care if you spend your money on things that ain't important as long as you want them."

I looked at him weakly, saying nothing but thinking about his words. I couldn't possibly say, that all this time I never spent the money he gave and just kept it in the bank savings. If I want to buy something, then it was better to spend my own money.

Nevertheless, now it was different. All the money I saved had been reduced due to the medicines that I had to keep on taking, and the rest for my next treatments.

Lee Donghwa continued, "Next time, let me drive you wherever you want while I'm not busy. It's cold out there and you go on foot. Now, look at yourself. I can't see you like this."

He was about to get up, but I immediately stopped him by pulling his arm. I paused, mustering up the courage to say that I wanted to do the surgery, but as soon as my lips opened, the words came out were different from what I thought. "Aren't you on a business trip anymore? You usually would leave without telling me first."

Hearing that question, his gentle gaze suddenly turned cold like the tip of a dagger. He gritted his teeth so that I could see his strong jaw muscles. He then stroked my head gently while saying in a suppressed voice, "Chunghee, don't say that. Aren't you happy when I can spend a lot of time with you? If you ask that, you will make me mad."

It was obvious that he was suppressing his anger to say his words.

I gazed at him for a long time before saying, "I'm sick. Don't mad at me. Maybe after I recover from this fever, I will rarely stay at home. I want to go to Sokcho to visit my grandma's grave."

Hearing this, Donghwa exclaimed, "I'll go with you! Your family has become mine too."

"No. I'll go by myself. It's been a long time since I was there. I need time to be with them. Alone. I won't belong. Just for a few days."

"No!" Donghwa insisted, "I won't let you go by yourself. I will—"

Before he continued, I gave him a sharp glance. Although I didn't say anything, I was sure that he knew how I felt right now.

Lee Donghwa didn't seem to have the courage to continue, so he spoke awkwardly, "I ... I'm going to make porridge."

Before he got up, I pulled his arm again, then said hoarsely, "Don't go. Alright, I won't go. But, stay here with me."

"But, you have to eat before you take the medicine." He touched my face gently.

I didn't say anything and just curled up like a spoiled cat to his master, made him melt. "You're so spoiled when you're sick. I can't do anything when you act like that to me."

Smiled, I sighed and let go of my hand that was gripping his arm. A few seconds of silence, I asked again, but as soon as the question left my lips, the pain in my heart seemed to have doubled from before. "Donghwa, do you still love me?"

He gasped when he heard my question. He then spoke earnestly, "Hey, I do love you. Never ask such things. Do you doubt me? I love you and I will never betray you. You're the only one."

He will never betray me? He must be joking when he said that.

It was annoying. He didn't even admit his behavior at all and seemed to pretend that he had never done any mistakes so far.

Cliche. It was like a sicken seduction all years. Full of nonsense!

However, since I didn't want to bring it up again, I could only ask to make sure, "You promise? Can I trust you?"

"I promise. Trust me."

I gazed into his eyes, which was also gazing at me earnestly. I asked once again, "Donghwa, will you be okay if I leave you?"

Hearing that question, his face suddenly turned shocked. He then embraced my body. "Chunghee, stop it. That's enough. Don't ask questions like that again. I don't want to hear it, please. As you know that a sloppy man like me can't survive without you."

I smiled weakly as I said, "Never make me regret it, okay?"

He released his embrace and stroked my head gently before replying, "Sure. Now, get some rest."

As he stroked my hair, his big strong hand was the softest thing I had ever felt. My heartfelt warmth seemed to melt the snow in my chest. His tenderness had faded for quite a while, but it returned like fresh air in the autumn. I felt more peaceful, slowly fell asleep without realizing it.

When I woke up, the room was dark and cold. I turned to see Donghwa, who was sleeping beside me.

I stared at his back from behind, which was wide and looked very strong in my eyes. I felt so fond of him.

I grabbed my cell phone which was lying on the bedside table, then looked at the clock that showed 10.00 p.m. When I saw the numbers of the clock on my cell phone, I was a little startled. I thought that I slept for only a few hours but it seemed time passed so fast when someone was asleep. I had not slept as well as I did now in a long time.

In the dim room, I opened the many messages that came in and saw some messages from Daehyun, who I had been ignoring for almost two weeks, and read them right away.

"Chunghee, I mean it when I said that I love you. I want you to be with me."

"How are you today? How's your treatment?"

"Good night. Take care of yourself."

"I know you're angry with me at this time. But, I beg you, don't ignore me. At least, give me the news. It's been one week you never reply to my messages."

"Chunghee, don't ignore me, please."

Guilt arose after reading all of the messages as if I had destroyed something of the greatest worth.

Inside, I just kept apologizing, hoping Daehyun would remain someone who would never change. I didn't want any hatred in his heart to grow in the future.

I put my cell phone back on the bedside table without replying to a single message from him, then turned back at Donghwa, staring at his back, who was fast asleep beside me at this time.

I shifted my body closer to his, then embraced him from behind, feeling the warmth that gradually grew colder in my heart. The sense wasn't the same as previously.

I couldn't help but cry. All the pleasant things that had happened before they formed a sword that split my heart in half. It was done so suddenly, so there was no time for me to run away.

He didn't even know how often I cried over him, this relationship, and our future.

Nonetheless, from the bottom of my heart, I didn't want him to know what had I done. I didn't want him to know if I was crying for all of those things and muttering in my heart, hoping that Donghwa wouldn't make me regret it at the end of my life.