This morning, Lee Donghwa was neat with the suit he was wearing. The black shirt combined with the dark red suit was compatible with him well. Seemingly, he was ready to return to work in his office.

Meanwhile, I was busy in the kitchen. As soon as I saw him walking out of our bedroom, I greeted him immediately with a smile, "Good morning, I just made toast, don't you want to have breakfast first?"

Finishing my words, I put two plates on the table, with some toasts and chocolate jam, hoping that he would have breakfast with me this morning.

Donghwa smiled and stepped towards me.

In front of the dining table, Donghwa's phone suddenly rang before he gave a response. He took out his phone from his pocket immediately and saw the incoming call for a moment, but he didn't answer the call. He just said, "Uh, I can't have breakfast with you this morning. I have to go right away...."

Hearing this, I could only remain silent, without words, faking a smile to disguise the pain of the refusal.

I truly wished that we could have breakfast together. Due to his busy schedules lately, he rarely spent the time to have breakfast with me.

Lee Donghwa would usually leave early, even before I woke up in the morning. So, after our sexual activity last night and felt a little tired, I tried to get up early so we could have breakfast together as I thought that he was also in a good mood today. But, he just made me down with his answer.

He turned and walked toward the door, followed by me behind him. He seemed so rushed, his phone kept ringing in his pocket. I could hear it, but I chose not to say anything and ignored it.

When he was at the door, he stopped for a moment before he opened it. Then, he turned towards me and then held my face gently. He looked at me while saying, "Take care of yourself. I'll be right back when the project is over ...."

"..."

"Um, maybe about two weeks ... I'll call you when I have arrived, and you should give me news too. Don't make me worry, okay?"

I didn't respond to him immediately. However, something had distracted me. Seeing that something was wrong with his finger, I tried to stop myself from asking, but it was in vain.

"Donghwa, did you forget to put on your ring?" when I asked, I tried to say my words as softly as possible as I was afraid that he would get angry when I asked what I should be asking as a lover.

Fortunately, Lee Donghwa was in a good mood today, so he replied in a casual tone, "Um, yeah, I forgot to put it on." As he said his words, he fumbled in his pocket, but with a confused look, he continued, "Looks like I forgot to take it on my desk. Don't worry, I won't lose it. I remember putting it in a drawer when I went to the toilet yesterday."

I knew that it was a lie. But, hearing that answer, I tried to accept it and smiled.

"Chunghee, you're skinny. Don't get sick while I'm not at home. If you need anything, call me, or you can call Hoonsik." Lee Donghwa continued.

Finishing his words, I was about to say something. The tip of my lips had lifted slightly, and the words were already on the tip of my tongue. However, somehow all of them just swallowed up and only ended up with a fake smile.

After saying that, he kissed my forehead. That simple treatment made me melt as if it made me forget how he was out there. Wild and forgetful.

Only this time, I heard something that sounded worrying me out of his sweet lips, since the last few months. I thought that he had changed. However, hearing his words just now, it seemed that nothing had changed, it's just me who had a bad thought of him, perhaps.

I watched at him walk out of the apartment until he entered the elevator, then closed the door immediately when he was out of my sight.

I sat at the dining table while enjoying the toast that was getting cold in front of me. In loneliness, I thought about something that was spinning in my head.

Honestly, I truly wanted to tell him that I had been having a lot of headaches lately. I wanted him to accompany me to check on my condition in the hospital, but it didn't seem like it would happen, seeing how busy he was with his works or even with some of his toys out there.

He said that he was working on a new project, so he often left the apartment and came home late, or even didn't come home for weeks or months. I didn't know what kind of project it was, as he had never told me and I had never asked him about it.

However, because of the busyness he said, I felt forgotten. I realized that he had ignored me for quite a while, since these nearly three years, or it was long before these three years.

It made me feel like our relationship was growing apart. It didn't mean that I didn't like his busy life, but it was better to spend as much time as before as we used to do.

Awakening from this thought, I tried to not think about it too far. I got up from the chair, and began to clean this room, and then tidied up our bedroom.

In the bedroom, I saw the gel that we used last night and reached for it, looking at it for a moment and then putting it into a drawer. I smiled as I thought about Donghwa who was overly excited during our 'nighttime activity'. However, I suddenly felt sad when I thought that Donghwa looked like he only came to make love with me.

I realized that I had a sexual deviation for a long time ago. It was over nineteen years ago since I turned thirteen years old.

At that time, I believed that I had a crush on a boy. I missed my playmate, Kim Daehyun — my childhood friend. I did an embarrassing thing as only I missed him so much and wanted to see him again.

Our last meeting had been so long. Since I was six years old. Even though Daehyun was two years older than me, he was the best friend I had ever known. For two years we were together, and on my eighth birthday, his family and he left Sokcho and I never saw him again until now.

However, even though it had been a long time, I could still remember the image of his face even though it was faintly in my head.

Since I realized that I was gay, I started to get scared of this feelings. I was afraid that people would avoid me. So from then on, I tried to forget Daehyun and not lost in my feelings.

I once came to a church when I was seventeen, and told this thing to a priest. The priest advised me that every human was created in pairs — man and woman, and what I experienced was a mistake.

The words of the priest always kept buzzing in my head and made my fear even bigger, so I decided to change myself. However, it didn't take long until I met someone — Lee Donghwa.

Donghwa was the first person who made me dare to take the risk of becoming a sinner. I didn't know what made me fall in love with someone like him, who made me forget about the advice of a priest 13 years ago. Handsome? I admitted it, but it wasn't a reason why I loved him so much.

This relationship was taboo and I knew it quite clearly. I could only wait for God's decision.

Would God bless it or even wrath? Somehow God would end it.