Chapter 211

Love

. . . Why do you have to blame yourself Iris . . .

I wonder if I learned it at that time when I was in love with Ed .

Love makes people foolish . . .

I fell quickly and drowned in it .

Nothing more than despair awaited me from it .

. . . And the same as now I also wished at that time for the other party to love me as I love them . For myself, so the what happened with Ed doesn't happen again . . . no, no more . I must stop .

I want to let go of him, I want to forget about his existence, but at the same time I want to make him drown in my feelings, I want to make him recognize me and love me . . .

Yes, I hoped . . . I hoped . . .

Without thinking about the other person's intention .

Even now, I'm only thinking about my feelings . . that's right . Expecting love from him and loving him without permission and feeling angry if I didn't get what I wanted .

. . . It seems that my behavior is not different from a child who can not get the toy he wants .

Before I knew, Tanya was walking behind me .

She did not say anything and was chasing me the entire time from when I got up from the First Prince table .

When I noticed I was standing close to the entrance . . . Oh, I must have come back unconscious . . .

Although my head was occupied heavily with thoughts, my chest feels lightly now .

I gently strike my hand against the chest .

. . . I lost it!

The pocket watch that I'm always wearing is now lost .

To that fact, I quickly paled up .

"Lady?"

I stopped suddenly, she noticed my change in the complexion and Tanya cried .

" . . . Tanya . . . I'm sorry but I left something important behind . Will you go get it?"

"But . . . Milady you're not okay now . . . I can't leave you alone . . . "

"Please, by all means, I do not want to lose it, but I can't go back to that place . . . I'll be waiting around here, please . "

There is no consciousness of the rare weak figure I'm exposing right now .

But . . . that thing, is so important to me, to the extent I'd do anything for it .

" . . . I am afraid to go back there, please bring it to me Tanya . . . "

She doesn't want to leave my side so she showed a conflicted face for a while . . . but, at the end she said okay .

"Okay . . . "

I saw her off from behind . And waited quietly on the spot .

Unintentionally, I put my hands on my chest . That gesture is like a habit to me .

. . . . . . Really, how strange .

Even if that pocket watch comes back, so what of it? . . . Rather, the happy past that accompanies it is only painful for me now to remember it .

I vaguely look at the garden facing the corridor .

So, people were close to me all the time while I was talking with him .

While I was thinking that, I suddenly heard footsteps . .

It's really early for Tanya to have come back already . .

When I turned back to see if it was Tanya and if she found it, it was Dean who was standing there .

Before I had the chance to ask him why he's here . . . he took my hand and walks away pulling me .

To this unusual fortune, I am confused and I can't keep up with the present situation .

When we entered a nearby vacancy room, he lets go of my hand .