Chapter 88

Chapter 88: A Storm of Thoughts

When Dida and Ryle left, I returned to my daily tasks; however, my mind was filled with the conversation .

“… . Ah . ”

I misspelled a word on the elegant document I was writing on .

Meaningless words floated in my head- the word “carelessness” fully describes my state right now .

I put down my pen, and stretched out myself . From head to toe, my body made “creak, creak” sounds, noises that shouldn’t come from a young girl .

Those very words in my brain are all from that discussion .

… . Ever since becoming the Feudal Lord Representative, I’ve felt numerous times that some problems simply don’t have valid solutions .

But I never thought that I would run into this obstacle again .

However, the issue is all only just a big “if” … . Forgetting about something that would only probably happen isn’t hard .

I only have to lie to myself, saying that decisions can wait until the kick finally lands .

But, if I were to do that… Dida wouldn’t accept it . And all the deceptive crap will all be scraped away anyway when the time comes .

When it comes to that… . I fear that I won’t even be able to distort my own thoughts . I can already imagine the frenzied, useless state that I’ll be in .

Plenty of times, including now, people’s fates… . Have been in my hands .

People end up dead under a powerless lord .

… . But this time, the situation’s severity is on a whole other level .

I have to take responsibility, responsibility of the people’s destinies .

I’ll be held liable for human lives, nothing I’ve ever experienced is at this level .

… . Forget about the “previous life”, even “I” in this current life have never taken such an accountability .

*TL note: Iris is saying that even though she’s been sort of “in charge” of people’s fates (financially and culturally), she’s never really been responsible for human lives so directly . Of course, she’s talking about the possible upcoming war .

Reincarnation in a world where nobody is harmed would be the best .

Then, no matter who, anyone will receive kindness and generosity .

Nobody will have to feel any pain, just as fairy tales describe . Darkness will be smothered up like a big candy wrapper .

No, if this were still a game… . Iris will probably take on all of the filthiness as the antagonist . But honestly, worlds where everyone is treated affectionately don’t exist .

No matter what, this world is still real .

If not, I wouldn’t be able to see people this clearly into their hearts .

All kinds of thoughts and ideals swirl around like a storm . Aristocrats steal people’s rights and power with dark, ugly faces .

Children’s fables will definitely not mention the abyss between the filthy rich and the impoverished poor .

Each of these thoughts made me come up with more .

All of these ideas were the reason why I was so stressed out .

… I should ask Tanya to bring something to drink, I can’t work like this .

I stopped my inner monologue, and was just about to call her name… .

“… . Ah, kya~… . ”

The little tower of documents fell over . Countless papers fluttered in the air .

Oh, no .

The files that I had so laboriously organized were in a mess . I thought about how long and difficult it would be to rearrange them, and was finally fed up .

“… . Tanya . ”

“Yes, I’m here . ”

“Apologies, but I’m going to the salon . Please pass the message to others, and prepare tea . Also, will you please reorganize these files for me?”

“Yes, I understand . ”

I threw all of my work aside, and finally took a break .