Common Sense of a Warrior Chapter 32

The last 3/4 is pretty similar to the previous Chapter 28 and the beginning of Chapter 29, but things start to diverge from the previous version from here on.

I swing my sword.

……feeling slightly out of place, I furrow my eyebrows while fighting.

As I thought, my sword was repelled and I lost.

“Did something happen? You suddenly disappeared recently too.”

My sparring opponent, Kuroitsu-san, questioned me in a mystified manner.

“I felt some hesitation in your sword.”

“Indeed. It probably means that I haven’t finished putting my emotions into order.”

Kuroitsu-san did not appear to be very convinced by my words, but didn’t question me further.

In the end, I returned to training.

Because, that’s all I have.

Ever since then, I cried a lot.

I cried a lot, and thought.

But as expected, the current me wasn’t capable of coming up with a goal or a meaning to life.

I haven’t been looking at anything else after all.

Without turning my eyes towards anything other than revenge, I simply chased after that single goal.

That is why the current me doesn’t have anything to use to make a judgment on.

Which choice should I take……to begin with, I don’t even know what kind of choices I have.

Without anything to base my judgment on, I don’t know anything.

But I cannot remain standing still.

I cannot keep absentmindedly waiting for time to pass.

I must abstain from merely letting time go by for mother’s sake as well.

That is why I returned.

Although it may not bring me anything, this is all I have.

Other than this, I don’t have anything, but I do not want to stand still.

That being the case, rather than having weird thoughts and wavering, I felt that it was better to return to training like this even if nothing changes.

It seems that for me, rather than thinking with my head, I was a type better suited for moving my body.

Though I haven’t finished putting my emotions into order, ever since returning to training and swinging my sword, I feel like I have started to calm down bit by bit.

Instead of saying something, Kuroitsu-san ruffled my hair.

“Ahh……the guys that are here today are gonna head out to eat after this. How about you come along too, Ojou-chan?”

My head froze momentarily at the sudden invite.

But after thinking for a bit, I nodded.

“By all means.”

“I see. Then, I’ll go ask the General.”

“Thank you very much.”

I want to see various things.

I want to try various things.

That is what I thought.

Though I still cannot see my goal…no, precisely because I cannot see it.

I wanted to change myself, who up until now, has not been turning my gaze towards anything but the sword.

That is why this is a good opportunity.

Thus, after training, I went to town.

When I thought about it, this is the first time I went to the stores in town.

There was no need for me to buy things myself after all, and I was training all day long too.

In a sense, I am also like a noble, being a sheltered daughter.

As I looked around restlessly inside of the store, I followed after Kuroitsu-san.

“Kuroitsu-saaaan!”

Members of the Army sitting at seats in one corner of the store called out to Kuroitsu-san.

“Oh, I’ve made you wait!”

Kuroitsu-san also responded while smiling.

“Seriously. Just why……wait, uwahh! Kuroitsu-san, have you kidnapped Mel-chan?”

“Don’t be stupid. There’s no way I’d be capable of kidnapping Ojou-chan, right? I’d have the tables turned on me.”

” ” “That’s true.” ” “

Everyone who had been listening in curiously on the conversation all nodded at the same time.

It appears that they all were amongst those participating in the training at the Anderson Marquis House, as I could recognize all of them.

“Naw, I just didn’t think that she would come here. Nice to see you, Mel-chan. We welcome you.”

“Thank you.”

Suddenly, the surroundings became noisy.

“It’s good that you came.”

“I’m happy that you came.”

“Kuroitsu-san, good going! You’ve brightened up this musty place filled with men.

Surprised at the various words of welcome, I hesitantly looked around at the surroundings, causing Kuroitsu-san to turn his gaze towards me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Um, after coming so abruptly, I was wondering why I was so welcomed…..”

“It’s only natural! We’ve all been shedding sweat together in the same place, diligently training together all this time. Ojou-chan is our comrade.”

“That’s right! I admire Mel-chan. Cause you’re that strong even though you’re so young. When I was Mel-chan’s age, all I did was play~”

“Even though at first we thought – just what could the General’s prized kid possibly amount to! – didn’t we~?”

“That jealousy was blown away a long time ago. I was astonished when I learned about the amount of independent practice Mel-chan does.”

“Ahh, I get that. That’d definitely be impossible for me.”

I became dumbfounded at the words that came out of everyone’s mouths.

“……everyone has a high opinion of Ojou-chan. It’s just that they never had the chance to say it. It can’t be helped, since they felt a sort of wall around Ojou-chan, telling them not to approach you.”

“……is that so?”

“That’s right. You shouldn’t just focus on the sword, but look around yourself a little.”

At the straightforward words that hit the truth of the matter, I briefly became speechless.

It is true that up until now, I was like that…..is what I realized.

When I thought that, Kuroitsu-san pat my head.

Putting this realization together with everyone’s words from earlier, I felt slightly apologetic, yet ticklish, and turned my gaze to the ground.

“Kuroitsu-san. What are you talking about together with Mel-chan~? Come talk together with everyone.”

“Sure. Come on, you come too, Ojou-chan.”

“……yes!”

After that, we took our seats and everyone ordered drinks and food as they pleased.

While feeling a bit excited at eating food from somewhere other than home for the first time, I listened to everyone’s conversation.

“……why did everyone become soldiers?”

Around the time that the atmosphere had warmed up, I mouthed a question that I had been thinking about.

“Why we became soldiers, you ask……well, for money. Since I have a lot of siblings.”

Failing to understand what having a lot of siblings had to do with the reason why, my head tilted unconsciously.

“Ahh, well. In other words, it was in order to reduce food expenses. For someone like me without any education, the easiest and best way to rise up was in the Army, which has a merit system. Well, the fact that I also had a bit of confidence in my skill also played a role though.”

The words ‘in order to reduce food expenses’ gave me a considerable amount of shock.

……after all, I didn’t know about something like that.

Because I thought that it was natural for a warm meal to appear as long as you desired it.

Was that not a natural thing?

“Though that self-confidence was crushed by the General early on.”

While my thoughts were spinning round and round in my head, the other people began to tease him.

Everyone didn’t show a surprised expression like me.

Rather, it was as if what he had said was common sense.

“Shaddup. Then what about you guys, why’d you become one?’

“Me? Because it’s cool! When I saw the General’s triumphant return to the country, I felt that I definitely had to become a soldier in the future.”

“Ahh, I get that. I unconsciously thought that as long as that person is here, we, and this country will be fine. I was also like that.”

“That’s true. The General’s existence is big……during the war, the General saved my village. That’s why I wanted to follow that person, and decided that I also wanted to become someone who could protect others.”

“I’m not like you guys with some circumstances giving you a motive and resolve. It’s just that I somehow felt like it~. I understand those feelings. When I entered the Army, I was lucky and got assigned to the General’s unit, but what that person carries on his back is immense, and made me feel that I wanted to chase after him wherever he goes. Before I knew it, I started to feel that continuing to chase after that person’s back was something to be proud of.”

Unnoticed, the topic changed to discussions like the contents of father’s training, and father’s martial stories.

Though they had grim appearances, their eyes sparkled like those of children when they spoke about father.

Saying that they were proud to continue chasing after father’s back.

That they want to be like father, becoming a protector of someone.

They spoke with an extremely hot passion.

“……why does everyone……feel that they want to protect others?”

Suddenly, I raised a question to Kuroitsu-san sitting next to me.

“Protect, is it? In the beginning, the ones who held such great intentions were probably only those like that guy who were affected by the war. Money, honour……everyone here had their own reasons why they knocked on the Army’s door. To protect is a noble intention, but it’s not like they had that intention from the start. However, before we realized it, to us, being able to work under the General became our greatest pride. Everyone’s been charmed. By the General. When we think about how we want to be like that General, our bodies move naturally. And that is connected with protecting another, becoming yet another thing that we are proud of……going round and round, we believe that it would be good as long as we can protect the country and our important people.”

“Going round and round, you say……”

“Well, one day Ojou-chan will probably understand it.”

Kuroitsu-san was called out by another person, so the conversation was cut off, but the hazy feeling that I felt in my heart at that moment continued to smolder deep within my chest.