Common Sense of a Warrior Chapter 30

Similar to the previous Chapter 26 desu nya~

Clank clank, the sound of swords clashing resonated.

The scenery of the usual training.

I was watching that from above.

Since that day……since elder brother notified me about father’s subjugation of the bandits, I have not gone to training.

I have remained secluded inside my room the whole time.

I haven’t met with either father or elder brother.

……just how many days have I been like this, I wonder?

As the hole in my heart remained gapingly wide open, I simply felt myself overcome with a sense of loss.

The darkness that I saw that night even now continued to envelop my heart.

Like this, I just wanted to stay here without doing anything……and then like this, I want to rot away.

It was to the point where I thought that.

I flopped my bed onto the bed and laid down.

……was a day this long before?

Morning came, and then night comes. And then, morning comes once more.

No matter what happens, time will continue to carve its tracks on the world as if nothing had occurred.

Even if I continue to lock myself up in my room like this, or don’t……nothing will change.

Continuing to think deeply about things like that, I closed my eyelids so that the outside scenery was no longer reflected in my eyes.

Staying like that, I fell asleep without realizing it, and a large part of the day passed.

I sluggishly raised my heavy body.

And then, I approached the window.

……it seems that training had ended.

At this rate, I wonder what I will do if I continue to stay here alone?

……what is it that I want to do?

I placed my hand on the window.

In a daze, I stared at the outside scenery.

……I want to see the scenery that I saw at that time one more time.

Suddenly, I thought that.

And then the moment I thought that, I impulsively headed outside.

Leaving the mansion, I ran towards the tower.

When I reached my goal, I ran up the stairs.

“……Rui……”

Standing alone, I called his name.

However, his figure was nowhere to be found.

Naturally, my shoulders dropped.

Just what I wanted to do by meeting him……even I didn’t know.

I sat down at that place.

Here, this place was my designated spot.

I quietly gazed at the scenery below me.

Unlike the other day, the haze of darkness was covered by the light of the town.

The many lights united, creating a magical scenery.

……it’s pretty.

It was unlike the usual scenery, but it fascinated me even more than it normally did.

Suddenly, the sound of something rustling entered my ears.

When I felt around with my hand, there was the sensation of a paper caught in between the stone floor and a rock.

I pulled that out.

If it’s here……then is it something that belongs to someone affiliated to the army?

But, nobody would climb the long staircase to come all the way here.

……could it be?

Thinking that, I unfolded the paper.

[If your goal disappears, it is fine to just find another one. You have that much time. Don’t live in a hurry.]

There were just 3 sentences.

If I hadn’t found it with this timing, I probably wouldn’t have understood what it was saying.

But the current me understood it to the point that it hurt.

My tears overflowed and dripped onto the letter.

……to me, revenge was everything.

I threw away everything other than that, and only looked at that alone.

Despite that, I suddenly lost it.

It is true that my revenge had been fulfilled……but it was in a completely way from how I desired it.

Even though I had only been looking at it while advancing forward, my destination was suddenly stolen away from the side and vanished.

The moment I became aware of that, it felt as if even my footing had crumbled.

Just where should I go from here on out?

Just what do I want to do from here on out?

Because I hadn’t been looking at anything other than revenge, I didn’t know anything at all.

Having lost my guidepost, it felt as if I had been thrown out into the darkness.

I felt a vague fear of the future.

And with it, impatience and emptiness.

For the first time, I understood the meaning of the “after that” that Rui spoke of, to the point that it hurt.

“……it is fine to find another one, huh.”

Leaking out a few words, I laugh.

[However……you are alive. You’re alive……!]

I recalled elder brother’s words within me.

……that’s right, I’m alive.

I still have a future. Unlike mother.

Just how much regret did mother feel?

……to me, it was unfathomable.

I hated myself for being the cause of mother’s death, resented the ones who actually stole her away, and was indignant at the world that allowed it to happen.

Then, I pitied myself and my family, who had lost mother.

However, the one who felt the most regret, the one who was saddest, was most certainly mother.

If it was me, I would cry.

Because mother had everything taken away from her.

What she wanted to do, the times she dreamed of, and the time she could have spent with her family.

After all this time, I finally arrived at such a thought.

Because I had not thought about that before, my own time had been stopped.

That was why.

I mustn’t waste it. I mustn’t abandon it.

……the future.

For one who possesses a future to abandon it, in spite of knowing of those who do not, is arrogance.

At the same time, it is an insult.

I should not be afraid of the fact that I cannot envision the future, but should be thankful for the fact that I have one.

If I cannot see a goal, then it is fine to find one again.

Even if there is no goal, what I have cultivated up until now will not disappear.

The instant I thought that, I felt my mood become lighter.

Even though I haven’t decided on anything.

However, it is fine to slowly decide.

It is fine to continue forward like that.

“……mother. It seems like I will truly be able to see mother off.”

Facing the sky, I murmured thus.