So it was just the three of us, Roland had gone to discuss something or other with Courtney, I could care less. Twee seemed… less than willing to forgive her friend though. I could see the logical error, and if Roland spoke the truth, he was just very unlucky and I would have forgiven him by now…

Maybe it was something else.

“What the fuck?!” Twee exclaimed upon making the fun realization that there were no stalls down here.

“Yeah, that is a what the fuck moment. Patent pending.” I frowned through my quirky lines.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a universal thing, thus, you can’t patent it.” Selene told me, and she had a point. Although, she was the one who tried to patent ‘The Invisible Cross’, and apparently you can’t patent hyper-religious offensive imagery. Upon hearing that from the legal eagles, she lost her atheist shit in one of the… like… five times in her life she’s gotten angry.

Such a shame that she was gifted with powers that literally shoot symbols of Christeanity at people, even though that’s not even really the point of her powers.

“Alright, I thought of a way for us to do this. Two of us close our eyes and face the corner of the room, while the other dresses, and we all take turns.” Twee suggested. “And I swear to god, if you turn around.”

“Seems reasonable. Are the clothes in the lockers? How do we know which one is for whom?” asked Selene intently.

“Uh… eh, I’m sure they’ll have something in our size.”

That was true, but I was wrong about something I simply assumed.

I opened a locker, it contained female outfits. Maid outfits. Stuff you’d see in a… tasteless cartoon.

“They expect you two to wear this?” I huffed, almost offended. Actually, I was offended.

“I dunno, I think it looks kinda cute.” Selene said, ruffling some of the fabric. “It’s comfy too.”

“The skirts are revealing, and it’s all way too tight fitting.”

“Maybe it’s just a small size?” Twee pointed out. “Check another locker.”

I opened the neighboring locker, same exact uniform basically.

“Hmm…” we all tilted our heads, perplexed.

Next one, same thing, and the next, and the next. I then realized the bone chilling truth about this godforsaken place.

“Where are the male outfits?!” I exclaimed, hoping this was a sick prank.

“Quincy… I am… so sorry…” Selene snickered under her breath, trying to hold herself back from exploding in laughter. I would have laughed too, but I was appalled.

“We’re gonna speak to Courtney. I am not wearing this disgusting apparel, and neither are you.” I proclaimed. I kinda realized now how Karens felt.

“Quincy, wait!” Selene hollered as I began to walk off. “What if you get in trouble? This is not a big deal. We can put up with it.”

I stopped walking.

“I’m not letting you wear that, Selene. I’m sure at least one of the villains staying here is a big enough pervert to… you know.”

“I know the danger. I’m also able to handle myself.”

“I just want to keep you safe.”

“And you don’t care about me?” Twee joked, fake crying.

“You know what I mean.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Hey, if I learn my lesson the hard way, so be it. But I honestly kinda want to wear this. You can tell Courtney to get you something else.”

I paused, and exhaled. She is so oblivious and innocent… I… don’t want her to lose that...

“Fine. But if you get hurt, or… worse… It’s on you.”

“Thank you Quincy.” she smiled lightly.

“Alright you two, ham it up, but I want to know if we plan to leave this place, or if you wanna be slaves for the tubby lady for the rest of your lives?” Twee said, becoming the lucky winner of the First-person-to-come-and-ask-me-that award.

“I guessed we could stay here for the meantime, I mean, we aren’t in any danger, and we have a roof over our heads. I'm sure they’ll feed us too. We can-”

“Whatever. I’ll suck it up for now. I just have to say that this,” she motioned to the entire place. “Is not where I plan to be arrested in.”

“Relax, we have full immunity. We’re safe here, somewhat. Better than the observatory from before.” I told her.

“You’d better be right.”

I was unsure.

I’d gone up alone and left the other two to dress themselves. Courtney was lounging in the sunroom in a recliner, equipped with hot pink sunglasses, almost as tasteless as her french maid outfits.

“So… uh… I’ll ask this nicely…” I approached her, giving a little bow. “Yeah… Do you have any male outfits?”

“Did you miss them? All the lockers of perfectly suitable clothes, handpicked for the four of you to wear by my best tailor. I suppose commanding a blind slave is going to be… an interesting challenge to be sure.” she said, speaking as if I was a difficult jigsaw puzzle that she had to piece together.

“Oh, the existing outfits are fine. Don’t worry.”

“Then why are you asking me anything?” she sounded a bit offended that I even spoke…

“I just would prefer an outfit more suited to my gender. You don’t really see many boys in skirts these days, do you?”

“Of course you do! It’s all over the internet. You look like the type of person who would love that stuff.”

“So you’re saying I’m a femboy twink?”

“I suppose, if that’s what they call it!” she grinned merily, she thought I was enjoying this, didn’t she?

“Well… uh, I’m not exactly… that.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t have any better uniforms right now, so, I suppose if you could just-”

“Yeah whatever, okay…” I moped, walking off. I could continue to argue, but I didn’t think it was really worth it. There was much worse waiting for me than some stupid crossdressing.

I am Gammal, the Modern Sorcerer, Maleficent Dark Apprentice to Jubiliah, Presage of Purgatory. This is what happened to me this day.

I came upon a man riding a motorcycle, a fellow hero, on my search for Quincy and his friends.

We met at a rest stop, an unsavory, dirty, rest stop in the sleet swept mountains of Canada.

“Sorry to ask, but what is someone from TUHF doing out here? I mean that in no offence.” the hero asked after a brief chat. He had a mustached face like that of a once-sly hardened man. Yet, he was as soft as a pillow in the way he spoke.

“The Ultrahuman Force has… its own silly little goals they wish to accomplish. I’m forced to be tongue tied as to what purpose they serve, my job is to all but carry them out.”

“Oh, well, if you need any help, I have a lot of information about this area. I’ve just been on patrol all day looking for those guys. So, if there’s anything you know, we can put our info together and perhaps find our rotten men!”

“I’ve gathered a bit… The villains, led by Quincy Whistlewood, a nineteen year-old reality warping supervillain, are travelling by plane, but they have landed near here at a local airfield. They presumably walked away into the woods, but I sent a search team out, and their tracks end by the road, suggesting they are in a car now. But that’s as far as it goes, tire tracks can only do so much, they are in the wind now.” I was willing to offer this information, I knew not much more, but I knew every Canadian citizen would be hunting them like seals to a tuna if I was endorsed by their hero.

“A car you say? I met Lethal Inferno a while back at a gas station. Did he tell you what he saw?”

“Lethal Inferno doesn’t work for us anymore unfortunately. He was horrifically fired a while back, it… wasn’t very official though.”

“Hmm, sorry to be intrusive, but would you prefer to discuss this privately?” he requested. Quite the tempting offer.

“Captain Canadia, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good to meet you.”

My reflexes twitched, my mouth wishing to open and tell him the truth of the mission. I wanted to be saved from my job. But at the same time, I wanted to make my country proud. Graciously, I held my composure thereof. Thirtyfive men worse than me wouldn’t, but I am Gammal.

And nothing stops me.