《Heroic Journey: 404》Chapter 42: Hurl some loot at your Minstrel!
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Brian’s large hand patted Melly on the back his face was crimson with laughter. Unfortunately, the joke was at Melly’s expense. She scowled as a server plonked a mug of frothy ale down upon the table in front of her.
“I can’t believe you fell for it,” Maim said in astonishment. “The brand… it was only ink!”
“Yeah, yeah!” Melly said while sparing zero effort to hide her irritation.
“I tell you what, though. I didn’t expect you to aim your bow at us. Thought we were dead for a second!”
They chuckled once more. Melly smiled, letting them have their fun. The three of them had found a spare table within the largest tavern in Skull City. Thanks to Andy the ‘golden taxi service’ they had made it inside the centre of the city in less than ten minutes. The people below them paid little attention to the giant golden bird as it flew by. Melly supposed Andy was a regular sighting in their day-to-day lives.
Melly loved the freedom of flying.
Turning her attention towards the tavern, she marvelled at the structure of the building. It had been constructed with a spacious auditorium. On one side sat the audience behind rows of large round tables. The stage currently was occupied by a skinny amateur bard, who looked deathly afraid. The musician was in a panic, strumming a rusted harp like a frightened cat.
“It’s magic Ink. The brand I mean.” Maim explained.
Melly looked down at her shoulder and pulled the shirt aside. There upon her skin was the recently inked pattern of a wolf’s claw. The dark mark leant her a lingering sensation that tingled in a way she wasn’t familiar with.
“Don’t worry the weird feeling will wear off in no time. The magic is just taking its time to sink in,” Maim continued. “Once the mark fades you will be able to tame a magical companion.”
“How long will that take?” she asked, allowing herself to feel excited.
Brian shrugged and tapped his furry chin in thought. Then he produced three stubby fingers.
“Three days?” she asked.
Brian nodded, sending locks of fuzzy hair into an odd dance.
Melly wasn’t sure what kind of creature she would tame. Her thoughts wandered to the giant Alicanto and the rush she felt when flying. A shiver of exhilaration rolled up her spine.
The sceptic in her then poked out its ugly head. Judging by the size of something that big, it would need tonnes of food. Food cost money and unfortunately money was not in great supply at the moment. Even Nuecuses massive stockpile of food would only feed a bird of Andy’s size for a week.
“Boooo!” a man in the crowd yelled at the amateur bard and lobed his shoe towards the stage.
Thunk!
The putrid projectile struck the performer in the head. The skinny man cried out in alarm, then promptly ran off the stage.
“Great shot!” said another patron. A roar of approval washed over the crowd as a small boy ran to collect the shoe to return it to its owner.
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Melly cringed in empathy, then asked her new hunter friends, “What’s with this place?”
“Oh, that?” Maim laughed and gulped down some ale. “This place has the best entertainment in all of Skull City! Once a week it’s ‘Newbie Night’, which means we get the best and worst acts.”
“Why would someone perform here just to get a shoe thrown at them?” she asked.
Mistress Maim broke out into a mischievous grin.
“Once a week, all the hopeful performers come here to test out their mettle. If they fail, they get the boot. In rare cases, if they succeed. Then they get a triangle award and become an official bard of Skull City.”
“Triangle?”
“Yeah, there’s three in total. A bronze, silver and even a gold. But those are super rare. Hey Brian, how long since we have had one of those?”
The bear like hunter scrunched up his face then held out two fingers.
“Two what?” asked Melly.
“Two years,” replied Maim.
“Whoa.”
Maim pointed towards the next contestant that climbed the stage. “Oh, he’s come back!”
Melly fought back a fit of giggles when she spotted the new performer. The balloon shaped man in sky blue tights, complete with puffy white ruffles pranced onto the stage. Gliding before the crowd on tippy toes, the blue entertainer performed a flamboyant bow. His black hair was cut into a fine comb-over. Before he could even utter a single syllable, a shoe flew instantly, then bounced off his bald face.
The crowd roared their approval as the man lowered his head and skulked off the stage.
“Aw I feel bad for the singer,” Melly said.
Mistress Maim gave her a look that said otherwise. “That was no singer. All he does is spew monologues about how refined his poetry is.”
“IS his poetry any good?” Mell asked.
“Let me remember one of them…” Mistress Maim closed her eyes then recited, “The deafening sound of screeching crows. Neatness doesn’t count when you lick your toes. Reality is a staircase leading to clothes.”
Melly scrunched up her face in confusion. “What the heck does that mean?”
Brian made a rude gesture with his hands, sending Mistress Maim into gales of laughter.
“Nothing, and that’s one of his best!” Maim said, chortling.
Melly turned her fascination around at the pristine tavern. It was impressive at how diligent the servers had been to keep the place so sparkling clean. Every surface was polished, and the floor was without a single discarded article.
Every shoe that seemed to be a regular flying occurrence had a dedicated boy whose sole job was to fetch and return. This tavern really had thought of everything.
“So where are you going to look for a magical beast?” Mistress Maim asked as another entertainer approached the stairs of the theatre. “Got any thoughts?”
Melly ignored the commotion on the stage as she faced her yellow sporting trainer. A flash of red above flickered in Melly’s vision but was left unnoticed.
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“I’m not sure. Will you give me some sort of technique to help me catch something? I want a creature that can fly…”
A string of notes rang out as the new performer began a ballad:
Once a modest singer,
Felt an arty tingle
Clemiticus the Splendiferous
Wrote this mighty jingle!
Melly ears perked up as she and her new instructor turned to stare at the musician. What the hell Clem? Melly thought. Clemiticus was smiling while holding a strange black device in the shape of a lute. Instead of strings, the instrument had four different coloured squares.
For while the Swashbuckler duelled
A Mono-toned emperor
His legion of sharks
were all dead in the Water!
“Wow, he’s pretty good!” Maim said sincerely.
Brian clapped along with a goofy grin over his face. The tiny scarlet bird Skittles circled the stage, landing atop Clemiticus' head. The spectacle made the crowd cheer.
The wave came crashing down
And swept us in combat
Lost all my damn loot
And then gone was my hat!
Melly searched the crowd certain that one of the many patrons would bend down to pull off a shoe. However, the crowd was transfixed by the eccentric man’s ballad. This song is going to get stuck in my damn head, Melly thought cynically.
While the Mer-crab boss
Smashed our tender Boat
And so called the Swashbuckler
To him, you devote!
The crowd clapped in time as Clemiticus whipped them into a frenzy of lyrical wordplay.
Hurl some loot at your Minstrel
O' City of Many
O' City of Many, oh whoa oh
Hurl some loot at your Minstrel
O' City of Many!
A door at the back of the tavern cracked open as a few new patrons stumbled in. Familiar faces caught Melly’s eye. Derrick and Thea looked around aimlessly until Melly waved for their attention. They quickly meandered through the crowd and sat at Melly’s table.
At the end of Fanswald
We Fought the blighty surge
That whacks you and beats you
It’s the worst kind of scourge!
“What the hell is Clem doing?” asked Derrick. “Wait, I didn’t know he could sing?”
Melly shrugged, then said, “neither did I?”
“Where’s the music coming from?” Thea asked. “It’s not coming from that plastic thing. Wait…” she concentrated on the song then said, “I think I have heard this tune somewhere before. The words are different though!”
That's my impressive story
Our Swashbuckler won glory
Vanquished the Mer-crab
And lost a Midori!
The crowd swelled up, clapping as they joined as Clemiticus repeated the chorus.
Hurl some loot at your Minstrel
O' City of Many
O' City of Many, oh whoa oh
Hurl some loot at your Minstrel
O' City of Manyeeee!
As soon as the song finished the auditorium burst into whistles and applause. The audience showered Clemiticus with coins instead of shoes. Skittles took flight and circled the stage, performing his own aerodynamic dance making the crowd cheer even louder.
A white-haired man in a red suit climbed the stage, quelling the crowd into hushed murmurs. The man approached Clemiticus with a broad smile and a twinkle in his eye. In his hand, he concealed the award the new performer would receive.
“Who’s that?” asked Melly quietly.
“That’s the owner, Hubert Song.” Maim replied.
A flash of silver flickered from between Hubert’s fingers as a metallic triangle hung on a thin leather rope.
The crowed roared in approval as the owner placed the silver award around Clemiticuses’ neck.
Bing!
“Clemiticus has gained the approval of the Golden Tavern of Skull city!”
“Clemiticus has unlocked the sub-class: Bard!”
The crowd laughed and cheered at their new bard. Melly jumped off her seat and went to the stage to confront Clemiticus.
“What the heck, Clem?” Melly shouted over the crowd.
He looked down and noticed her for the first time. “Oh, hey!”
“You chose BARD?” she asked incredulously. “I should have known you would choose something stupid!”
He gave her a wink and his usual thumbs up. “All for buffs, baby!”
She rolled her eyes as Thea joined in beside her. Before the young girl could say anything, the crowd fell silent once more. Another had entered the stage.
The blue balloon poet stormed over and jabbed a finger towards Clemiticus.
“You no good hack!” the man screeched. His voice sounded oddly high pitched for his rather rotund composition.
Clemiticus looked confused. “Um, what?”
Hubert walked in between the two on stage and held out his arms. “Calm down Ulberto!”
“No!” cried Ulberto. “I have graced these ignoramuses with my exquisite prose for many a moon and have yet to receive my divine right!”
“You what now?” asked Clemiticus.
Ulberto pushed Hubert aside and prodded Clem’s chest with his finger. “Your locution is contemptible, appellation atrocious and warbling repugnant.”
“You know using fancy words doesn’t make you sound smarter,” Clemiticus replied.
Ulberto’s face went as blue as his skin-tight outfit. “How dare you!”
Thea snickered, earning her the ire of Ulberto’s enraged glare.
“A duel!” Ulberto shouted then slapped Clemiticus across the face. “I challenge thee to a duel!”
Clemiticus' face exploded into joy as he plunged his hand into his pocket. From within he produced an iron dagger. “Hell yeah, it’s on! I’m ready!”
Ulberto took a step back as fear gripped him. “I meant a duel of prose!” Ulberto squeaked.
Clemiticuses' expression fell into disappointment. “Awww!”
Hubert's face however brightened.
“There you have it folks!” Hubert called out. “Battle of the Bards!”
The crowd exploded into cheers and shouts as excitement rippled through the tavern.
Hubert held his arms out and hollered, “Tell your friends! Tell your wives! For in two days, we shall have a war of words!”
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