"I know we're in a hurry and all but what the heck is this thing?" Derrick asked. His large boot made an odd clunk as he kicked one of the shattered skulls of the broken totem. "Mate, it looks so freaky!"

"Dad, is that really so important right now?"

"Actually, my fine nooblets, it is," Clemiticus said.

Melly was far too confused to answer.

"Hey Fairy! What do these thingies do?"

The blue quest helper smiled eager to help its master. Floating closer to the shattered object, Fairy examined it closely.

"Master! The Zealot guy uses this idol to enhance his magic. It makes their wands of Subjugation super-powered."

“Like an AOE buff?”

Fairy nodded.

“Area of effect,” Clemiticus explained to the confused others.

"If that's so, then why didn't they protect it better?" Melly asked.

Clemiticus chortled, spinning his dull blade, giving quite a good impression of an uncoordinated warrior.

"Because they simply weren't expecting such a totally awesome hero as me! Hell, I'm a level six adventurer, and I chop all the things!"

Melly rolled her eyes and pushed past him.

Clemiticus immediately stopped his gloating performance. "Shouldn't we at least talk about the measly experience points we got?"

Melly sent a dismissive glance in his direction.

“That’s not important right now.”

"The fire?" he asked with an air of caution.

"Yes. The fire!"

Without another word, he nodded and gestured for them to set out.

"Oh! So now you want me to lead?" Melly asked, smirking.

Clemiticus nodded. She harrumphed and marched towards the danger.

"Not a great idea to argue with someone called the Furious," Derrick whispered to Clemiticus.

"What was that, dad?"

She answered her father's look of innocence with a glare.

"Nothing, dear!"

Without another word, the three of them ran through the alleys of the town. By now, the smoke had intensified from light to a deeper, darker red. The heat grew more intense as they ran closer to the source.

Melly swerved through back alleys and around sharp corners. She used every shortcut she knew.

The Zealots will pay for what they've done to my town.

Ahead, a foreign two-wheeled cart blocked almost the entire width of the street. The cart was stacked to overflowing with odd crates and strange looking objects.

This must belong to those Zealots.

Melly knew they had to get past it. She spotted a narrow opening to one side. It was time for her to focus. She had to get to the source of the fire and stop it. Without another thought, she raced towards the opening.

Suddenly, she felt reality dive into that crazy place where the likes of Clemiticus seemed to revel. As she sprinted, her body automatically darted faster of its own accord. She was lighter, and vastly more agile. Physics somehow chose that moment to break, and the world spiralled around her. One moment she was soaring through the air, the next she was on her side, twirling.

It was almost confirmation that humans can, in extreme circumstances, fly or at least in Melly's case, defy gravity. Within a heartbeat, she had cut through and emerged through the gap without touching either the sides or the ground. It was effortless. Her feet landed as surely as a cat and she continued to run on as if nothing had happened.

Bing!

"Melly has learned the passive skill: Acrobatics!"

"Melly has gained a perk: Cat-like reflexes."

"Melly's passive statistic: agility has increased!"

The Blue fairy sang as it announced Melly’s newfound powers.

Holy crap! Melly thought. That’s awesome!

She could almost feel her body getting lighter and easier to manoeuvre.

Thud! Crash!

Clemiticus shouted in pain.

"What the Fuck?"

Melly stopped in her tracks and turned back towards the cart. Clemiticus, the dullard, had attempted to somersault over the top of the roadblock. Unfortunately, instead of performing an incredible display of acrobatics, as exhibited by a certain village girl, he had only executed a rather ungainly belly flop halfway.

Bing!

"Clemiticus has learned the ability, stumble."

He was now upside down. The cart had overturned and the contents of the cart had spilled everywhere. Derrick chuckled as he easily squeezed through the remaining gap.

Before she could chastise the man, a yellow box flickered to light, and Fairy's singsong voice resounded in the alleyway.

Bing!

"Clemiticuses’ party has received Bonus loot!"

The stumbling adventurer got to his feet and groaned.

"Bonus loot? What for?"

“For breaking a loot crate master!”

He walked towards the yellow box and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Master! You have found a stash of loot within a Zealot wagon. Each member receives one random item. Press to accept.”

Melly felt the all-too-familiar twinge of annoyance.

How many times do I have to tell these idiots? There is no time....

"Guys the fire! The fire..."

"Just a second Melly. This loot will help us kill the Zealots." Clemiticus sounded confident.

She paused in thought. A mental battle had just begun. On the one hand, she didn't want to slow down when the town was on fire. However, the insane simpleton had a point. For once. Ok maybe twice, but that was beside the point.

"Ok, come on! Hurry. Let's do this quick! But then straight to the fire."

Clemiticus nodded and pushed open the yellow box. A chime sounded and a white light surged towards the sky. Giant dice materialised above each of their heads. They rolled on their own as different flickering numbers flashed in and out of view.

This was like one of those gambling games they sometimes played in the tavern.

"RNG." Muttered Clemiticus. "Random number generator," he added as he spotted their look of confusion. This, however, didn’t help. "Come on RNGesus don't let me down!"

Suddenly, all the dice stopped turning and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Something appeared in front of each of the party members and fell into their outstretched hands.

"Oh, cool!"

He held a large wooden shield in his hands. It looked extremely impressive. It was circular, with four intricate metallic bands across the surface, giving the shield an 'X' shape. Grooves were carved into the bands and the centre had an inverted capping plate that was in the shape of a bowl rather than a ball. In fact, it looked as if you could pour a jug of beer into the middle and have four people drink from it.

"Magical drinking shield of fortification. Rare quality!" Clemiticus read. "Can be upgraded with crafting skills. Can store magic spells and abilities." He smiled. "This is fricking cool!" He twisted it and flicked it onto his back. Somehow, the shield fit perfectly over his shoulder and had matching straps for ease of use. He twisted it in place with his arms out and inspected himself. "Oh, yeah!"

"You think that's great mate? Look at this!" Derrick chuckled, determined to grab his time in the spotlight. He was holding a strange hammer. "Wait! Watch this!" Derrick flipped the tool into the air, and as it fell back, it turned into a large knife. Derrick relaunched the blade, flipped it, and this time it landed as an axe.

"It's a multi-tool!" Derrick boasted, pointing at the yellow information bar. "A tinkerer's best friend! Epic quality!"

Clemiticus whistled in appreciation.

Melly was quite stunned. She reluctantly had to concede that their new toys were fantastic. Melly bit down on the inside of her mouth and prepared herself for the wonderment of her own extraordinary artifact. She looked down excitedly and saw her own special prize.

It was a potato.

She did a double-take and felt a stab of anger. Clemiticus - that uncoordinated and mentally challenged dolt - had got an exceptional shield of magic. Hell, her three-foot-tall father had got an insanely useful tool that changed on demand.

And she?

"A FUCKING POTATO!"

The world is a cruel place.

She hurled the useless prize as far as she could with all her pent up misery. The projectile soared over the rooftops towards the fire and disappeared out of sight.

Melly sighed. She felt all the fight leave her.

"Okay, then. Let's keep going!" she said, pointing down the road. The injustice of it all stung, but she still had a job to do.

The three of them stood silently. Derrick and Clemiticus gave each other confused looks as Melly moved. Swearing to herself that she was going to ignore this little pit stop.

"What's that?" asked Clemiticus. He was pointing towards the roof.

Before Melly could shut up him up, her potato flew back over the roof. It headed directly toward her. She instinctively flipped up her arm and snatched it from the air.

"The heck is this?"

She was about to throw it again when Clemiticus grabbed her wrist.

"Wait!" he spoke in awe. He was looking at a yellow box in front of her. It was empty. "Hey, Melly. Say Identify."

"What? Let go of me."

"Say it!" The look of astonishment on his face gave her pause.

"Identify," she said.

The fairy flew around in circles more excited than usual, and it did its little magic show of lights. A word appeared on the top of the box in Glossy orange text.

Legendary item.

Clemiticus read aloud his voice trembling. "The Long-Lost Potato of the Gods."

Melly's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious?"

Clemiticus eyed her with a sparkle in his eyes. He turned back to the text and continued.

"Required ranger/archer class. Throw potato to instantly kill any non-boss type hostile mob. Will always return to the owner." He gasped. "Holy crap! Holy crap! A legendary!"

"What's a mob?"

"It's any monster or bad guy." he said dismissively. "Dude! You got a legendary!"

A blue light flashed above their heads, and all three of them flinched.

Bing!

"Melly has killed an Ashenstone Zealot.”

“Melly has gained combat experience!”

“Melly has reached level four!”

"Congrats!" Clemiticus cheered.

Melly stared at her stupid potato. She could feel her sanity slowly ebbing away little by little.

"The fire," she mumbled.