Melly couldn't believe it. Rushing outside, she looked skywards and saw enough billowing smoke to cover a mountain. It was blood red and had the thick, putrid smell of dead flesh. People's panicked screams reverberated all around her as she stood motionless. Was it fear that froze her limbs or something else? Anger? Excitement?

"Well, would you look at that!" Clemiticus said.

For some reason, he was happy with the current events.

Melly turned to look at him and to her amazement saw that he was swathed in a strange golden light. He had a jubilant smile plastered across his face. "Look!" he gestured to a floating square picture above him. It was covered in cursive black writing headlined 'New Quest.'

"Well done, Master!" The blue fairy spun above the man and cheered.

Clemiticus read it aloud.

"New Quest! Requires a party. The Zealot mages of the Church of Ashenstone have come to attack the town of Lobee Village. They use magical staves to bend the minds of their victims. Your quest is to vanquish five mages and to save the town. Do you accept?"

Melly flinched. "Yes. Yes, we do! We must save them."

Derrick nodded. He didn't look up at the quest box. Rather, he surveyed the town with an expression only a murderous dwarf could make. It was stern and calculating. Melly knew that look all too well. Derrick's face revealed his many years of experience. At that moment, Melly lost all doubts. This compact figure was definitely her father.

"The quest rewards are..."

"I don't care about rewards!" Melly interrupted, "We need to save these people!"

"Are you sure? You sounded really interested, a few seconds ago."

She clenched her jaw. "I, I’m sure."

"Ok! Accepted." Clemiticus nodded as he prodded the floating text with a finger.

Bing!

"Clemiticuses' party has started the Quest: Battle of Lobee Village!"

"Well done, Master!"

A high-pitched chime sounded above them.

Clemiticus smirked and plunged his hand into his pocket. Out came the old rusty sword, which he brandished about like a baseball bat. "Okay, I think I know the way. Follow me!"

"Hey, wait a minute! Shouldn’t I be the one in the lead? I know this town."

"Or me," Derrick added.

"Well, in normal circumstances, yeah. However, I know the best way. Trust me!" Clemiticus said with a suspiciously evil smirk. "I've got a quest helper." He pointed at his floating blue companion who shot back invisible finger gun bullets in excitement.

Melly glanced over at her diminutive father, who merely shrugged. She sighed and turned back to Clemiticus. She didn't know why but this crazy man seemed to know what he was doing. It infuriated her to acknowledge it, but she knew it was true. This guy seemed to know how to get things done.

What an ass, she thought.

"Fine, you lead the way.”

"Very well! Onwards!"

Giving them a thumbs up, Clemiticus swivelled around and ran off in the wrong direction. Melly fought back the urge to yell at him and followed.

They sprinted down the streets, dodging around empty karts and signs along the way. Melly was surprised to see that, despite his tiny legs, Derrick was easily keeping up with them. The flannelette kilt he wore rippled behind as he vaulted over a stack of boxes his own height. He was smiling and having too much of a good time for a dwarf who was about to be launched into what could only be described as a bloodbath.

Clemiticus pointed with his blade.

"There!"

Ahead lay a grassy clearing in a gap between the houses. In the middle knelt a figure shrouded in brown robes. He was facing away from them and was too engrossed in something in front of him to notice their approach.

As they got closer, they could see he was playing with what appeared to be a large wooden object on the ground in front of him. The object looked like a human-shaped shrine or totem covered in old tattered and torn leather straps. Atop the shrine sat three human skulls facing in different directions, with tendrils of red smoke pouring out of their eye sockets.

"You there!" Clemiticus yelled as he strode towards the man.

The figure turned towards him, and Melly felt a shaft of fear hit her in the pit of her stomach. The grotesque, balding man grinned toothlessly at Clemiticus and pulled a large two-foot-long stick from his robes.

The Zealot Mage laughed. "What a stupid thing to do!" he pointed the staff at Clemiticus, and a red light shimmered in his sunken eyes. "You are no match for the magical might of my mana!"

"Dude shut it! You're only a level one."

Clemiticus moved forwards with his outstretched blade. The Zealot swung his stick only to be parried by a lazy backhand motion.

“You will never defeat me!”

Clemiticus glared at the zealot clearly annoyed then twirled his blade around in an exaggerated arc. Quite by accident, he lopped off the man's head with an audible thwack!

The head rolled as the smile vanished from the Zealot's face.

"Man, I am so sick of the lazy role-playing dialogue for random hostile NPCs in these kinds of games!" Clemiticus kicked the large shrine over and motioned for the others to approach.

Melly and Derrick moved tentatively as Clemiticus bent down and rummaged through the dead zealot's pockets.

"I’m stunned!" Melly spluttered. "How? You keep..."

"Oh, amazed, are you?" smirked Clemiticus, one eyebrow lifting upwards.

"Yes, I am. I am absolutely amazed how you could turn something as serious as a fight to the death against a magician into a cringe show. Heck, you just killed a man!"

Clemiticus shrugged. "Hey! I've been there and done that before you know! So many of the bad guys ramble on about the same stuff. You can't match my power! Prepare to die! I have infinite power! Yadda, yadda. It's total bull! Most times, you spam one button, have a sip of coffee, and they all scream out. Oh, now how did you defeat me? Blaa blaa blaa. It gets so annoying after a while, you know?"

"No. I don't." Melly said flatly.

Clemiticus turned his full focus on the corpse. "There’s nothing in his pockets."

Derrick bent down and tore the wand from the zealot's grip. "What about this?"

Clemiticus looked over at the item and answered. "Focus on the item and ask the fairy to Identify. It may work for you since you're now a party member."

"What will?" Melly said, confused.

Derrick ignored his daughter.

"Identify."

The fairy spun above in a long arc and flew before Derrick and his new prize. It flashed its hands with magical blue light and focused hard on the object. A large blue box appeared in front of Derrick with the item's information.

"There you go, Mr Dwarf!" the Fairy said.

"Wand of subjugation. Can only be used by a Zealot of the Church of the Ashenstone." Derrick read. "Wait a minute. Hang on." he flinched. "Since when can I read?"

Melly stared at her father. "I, I don't know." she stumbled in amazement. It was true. Unlike her, Melly's father had never learned how to read. In fact, that was the reason they had experienced financial troubles in the past.

Clemiticus shrugged, not grasping the significance of the entire ordeal. "Passive skills for becoming a character, I guess. Pretty cool. Keep reading."

Derrick nodded nervously and continued. "Can only be used by a Zealot of the Church of the Ashenstone. Can be salvaged for magic material by crafting based classes."

"AH HA!" Clemiticus laughed. "That's you, Mr Lumberjack."

"I'm a Tinkerer, and if you don't mind, it's Master Dwarf now."

"Fine, fine." He held up his arms in defeat. "I promise I will stop calling you Lumberjack when you stop wearing flannelette."

Derrick looked down at his clothes. "Hmm. Yes, I see what you mean."

"I know!" Clemiticus chuckled. He leaned towards the Zealot and tapped the dead torso with the flat of his blade. A muffled ringing sound reverberated, and the two onlookers leaned in closer. Clemiticus shuffled around the corpse, then questioningly said, "Loot Armour?"

The Fairy bounded towards the body and did its thing. The corpse glowed white for a split second, then the body reappeared. A headless, bony naked body lay motionless in the Zealot's place.

Melly turned on the looter.

"Clemiticus! What the heck are you doing?"

In one hand, he had a folded brown robe and in the other a series of armoured straps and a steel chest piece.

"The Zealot had worn nearly a full set of light plate armour underneath his robe," he explained.

Melly's jaw dropped. Clemiticus discarded the robe, letting it fall on the ground and tossed the plated armour over to Derrick. With surprising speed, the dwarf snatched it up, grinning.

"No way. That’s way too big for you dad!"

Derrick clamped the steel armour over his wrist. The plating began to change, moulding itself to his tiny size until it fitted him perfectly. It was as if the armour was always meant to be worn by a three-foot dwarf. Melly starred in fascination as the little man strapped the entire protective suit around his tiny body with perfect precision.

Derrick admired his new outfit. He was now protected by a solid, yet tight-fitting plate array and every ligament was covered with a light coat of metal. His boots gave him a slight boost in height, and the set came with a red lining that matched his hair and beard colour. Even the skirting was layered perfectly to cover his legs to his knees. He looked comically like a dwarf in a classic fantasy story. Fierce, red and small.

Clemiticus smiled. "Man, that actually looks pretty fucking cool!"

Derrick beamed and gave his audience a flex.

"I'm living in a crazy world," Melly said.

"Well, anyway. That makes it one out of five." Clemiticus made an exaggerated move to place the wand in his pocket. "Let's gather all of this up and make 'em into crafting materials, aye? Master Tinkerer?"

Melly stamped her foot. "I know you guys are having this fun moment, thing. But haven't you guys forgotten that the town is on fire?"

"Hahaha. Whoops!" Clemiticus chuckled.