Hilda’s first instinct was to run for cover. However, she knew from experience she couldn’t outrun a asthmaic gnome, let alone a tall and springy orc intent on bisecting her. Besides, where would she run? The only cover in the area was the orcs’ barricade. Oh, and there was also the issue of abandoning her only comrade in the dungeon to a certain and terrible death at the hands of foul idolaters and all that. It wasn’t very paladin-like, was it?

Hilda could see by the state of the orcs that the shaman’s mass heal wounds barely functioned, they winced with every breath they took. One of the orcs was so dead that no magic could bring it back. Well maybe necromancy or some clever puppeteering could but… no matter. If she had any area of effect spells like that disgusting warlock Sejavy, this encounter would be done in seconds. Sadly, she wasn’t a proper spell caster. She was a fighter with a handful of tricks.

If she charged now, she could probably drop one of the orcs with a shield bash, leaving her with four opponents to deal with. At 24 hp, she could survive two rounds of retaliation, maybe three. She could drop an orc after each round, but the shaman would just heal them back. That rotten idolator had to go down, but Hilda had no ranged attacks and by the time she reached him she’d be leaking from more holes than the goblin navy.

Despite their clear advantage, the monsters were wary. They’ve seen what the little warrior was capable of. However, Hilda was no less rattled herself. Seeing her hesitation and ignoring his own warriors’ doubt, the shaman cried. “Surrender and--”.

“...and you’ll take turns torturing me to death? Fuck off.” Hilda spat in his direction. “Walk away now and maybe I won’t throw a meteor at the back of your head.”

Whispering a silent prayer to her Goddess, Hilda charged at the orc swinging her hammer. The orc braced for impact and so was caught off guard when she ran past him, attempting to scatter her bulky opponents like a boulder rolling through some bigger and heavier boulders.

Despite the monster’s surprise, Hilda still got a couple of nice wounds for her trouble; an axe nicked her thigh and a spear snaked its way under her pauldron. Both attacks caused 14 points of damage, leaving the dwarf at only 10.

Hilda didn’t plan to lose so many hit points after the first round of attacks. If this happened again, she’d be lucky to be dead.

Originally, Hilda planned to cast a healing spell on the fallen ghoul, but now she was tempted to cast it on herself. But wait! There was another solution. A better solution. Orcs didn’t have decent ranged attacks… and dwarfs could fly!

Grabbing the injured ghoul by the wrist, Hilda had cast lunar step on herself and jumped up with all her strength. She was amazed at how light the ghoul was. Then again, this made sense. The ghoul didn’t carry any equipment and had very little muscle. The source of her strength was magical, not biological. Good thing Hilda didn’t have to carry an “injured” dwarf Paladin like she did in basic training. These bastards weighed a ton!

Bombarded by abuse in several languages, but thankfully no missiles, Hilda sailed through the air until she bumped against the ceiling. On this planet, she’d be nowhere strong enough to cling to the roof with one hand while holding a grown woman and a heavy steel shield in the other. Thankfully, the system was full of tiny planetoids with almost no gravity. For all intents and purposes, the dwarf was a birthday balloon right now. Well, deathday in her case. Well, hopefully not in her case-- argh! You know what I mean!

Pressing the limp monster to her breastplate with one hand while clinging to a dead vine with the other, Hilda realized there was a small flaw in her plan. She needed at least one free hand to cast spells and presently both her hands were occupied.

Sighing with annoyance, she pressed the ghoul to her breastplate and wrapped her feet around the ghoul’s waist to keep her from slipping. Now she had one hand free. Kinda. She was also covered in eeky, eeky ghoul blood. Yikes!

A crude spear whooshed past the awkward pair and stuck into the ceiling about half a meter away from Hilda. Hilda tried to reach for the weapon, but her arm was too short. Later. Right now she had to fix her only follower.

Closing her eyes to better concentrate on the fateful spell, Hilda went for the longer, more traditional blessing to improve her odds.

“May the Holy, Blessed be She, overflow with compassion upon,” Hilda paused. She felt like just saying the name of the ghoul wouldn’t quite cut it. She wasn’t supposed to heal ghouls in the first place… “um, upon this maiden who’s afflicted with ghoulism but is actually kinda nice,” Hilda rolled her eyes at her own awkwardness. ‘Kinda nice.’ Yeah, that’s how you address the Goddess of the Moon…

“To heal her, strengthen her, enliven her. Send her, speedily, a complete healing.” Before casting the spell, Hilda added in her most pompous, sycophantic liturgical Dwarf. “So that she may destroy the faithless in Your name and save Your faithful so they may ever praise Your radiance!”

16 points! That was slightly above average for a second level heal but for an unlucky creature such as Hilda, that was a miracle. Plus, the ghoul didn’t catch fire or melt or was consumed by sacred luminescence, once again proving that the Goddess was much more open-minded than the old dwarfs who interpreted her commandments.

The ghoul’s eyes fluttered open. She was pressed so close to the dwarf that her large black eyes appeared as one. Of course the first thing she did was lean in to kiss the dwarf. Hilda pulled the ghoul away by her long ear.

“Ow, ow, sorry, sorry…” the ghoul spoke quickly. “I dreamed that--”

“I don’t care.” Hilda muttered. “I’m going to toss you at the shaman right--” A hammer smashed against the ceiling, peppering both women with dust and cobwebs. Hilda felt the ghoul huddling against her and moved her shield to guard the monster’s exposed back. “Are you ready?”

Philly twisted to face the dwarf again, her foul breath making Hilda dizzy. “What should I do when I get to him?”

Hilda stared at the ghoul. “Kill him, of course.”

“Oh, right, right. I’m a ghoul.” Philly flexed a non existent muscle. “Yarr!”

“Try to kill him quickly or he’ll keep healing his thugs. Ready?” Hilda repeated, hoping that for once in her life, the ghoul would stop being silly.

“Do you want to pinch my butt for good luck?” The ghoul asked. “It’s an elf tradition.”

“No it isn’t.” Hilda pressed her knees to her chest and pushed the ghoul away like she was a living crossbow firing a living bolt. The creature flew in a straight line, her black hair streaming behind her as if she was scuba diving in the air. It could be quite the painting, Hilda thought. Oof. Why did all the cool things always happen when Gloin wasn’t around?