Medvak didn’t want to get paid, but Hilda insisted. As a dwarf, she appreciated fine craftsmanship and, when it came to doors, Medvak’s craft was second to none. At least none that she’d ever met. Dwarfs weren’t fond of doors and the number of humans she’d met could be counted on one hand and still leave a finger to pick her nose when nobody was looking.

He was a conscientious worker too. If he wasn’t taller than a totem pole and as friendly as a puppy who’s never been kicked, he'd have made a fine dwarf. An absolutely terrible barbarian, but a damn fine dwarf.

Even more than she felt morally obligated to pay, Hilda felt it was the more economical route. Even as a maiden, she’d always preferred being poor to being indebted. In her experience, favors often ended up costing far more than mere money. Especially favors to someone who may have had a bit of a crush on her… Poor man. He must have been very lonely to be attracted to a creature from a different species. Someone really ought to match him with a nice, tall human girl.

Medvak’s work ended up costing more than a handful of pennies, but it was worth every one of them! Unless you had a very high Wisdom score and the Perception skill, your chances of noticing the door were slim to none. Even if by some lucky coincidence you did find the door, it took a total of 32 strength points to pry it open. Those smart enough to find it wouldn’t be strong enough to open it and those strong enough to open it, wouldn’t be smart enough to find it. What else could you ask from a door? (That wasn’t a talking door, that is…)

The other entrance, the forest one, was a colorful and happy affair that anyone would notice if they cared to look. It would require some diplomacy with the lizardmen to make sure they didn’t come and bother her, but Hilda didn’t worry. She had the Diplomacy skill at expert level, plus a very big, very heavy battlehammer. After she brained all the undiplomatic lizardmen, reaching a peace treaty should be a piece of cake. Either that, or she’d have plenty of lizard hide to craft pretty things with. Either option suited her fine. She didn’t need the scaly monsters to love her, merely to leave her alone. If she could establish with them the same kind of relationship they’ve had with the unseen green dragon, that would be super.

Hilda grinned as visions of violent conquest entwined with images of cozy home design and quiet evenings with Gloin and her sisters (not all, and not all at once of course!). Observing her little domain, she felt like a little Dungeon Mistress. She had a couple of encounters in her cave already: one being a ghoul that was impossible to get rid off, another being a plethora of traps Medvak helped her prepare for anything that would creep out from the underworld.

There was also some kind of a small, coppery thing that stalked the shadows, barely visible even to the dwarf’s sensitive night vision. It didn’t look dangerous, so Hilda decided to adopt a “live and let live policy” in regards to the strange being. If it was smart enough to avoid her traps, maybe they’d even be friends someday. Maybe it will be a follower, or a minion, or a pet? Maybe it’d shed some copper scales. Copper was precious, wasn’t it?

Hilda was mildly curious, but not enough to go rock hopping after the metallic creature. She had a complicated relationship with gravity and had accumulated so many bruises in the past few days, she was more blue than tan under her armor. She didn’t want to greet Gloin like that. She wasn’t a damn smurf.

Still, even knowing nothing of the critter, she came to think of it as part of her domain, her dungeon… Hilda hastily made the sign of the moon against the evil inclination. She wasn’t a dungeon mistress and she never will be one. She was just a girl who lived adjacent to a dungeon and had a whole cavern to herself. Squee!

In a few weeks, she’d be the first dwarf since the Disaster to host a housewarming party with guests that included:

A dark elf who’d bring a delicious cake (just make sure to cast neutralize poison first!). A ghoul keen on arranging some party games, (hopefully dressed.) A lizardman shaman on a diplomatic mission, bearing gifts from the swamp. Medvak, who’d be very tall and very pretty and make Hilda look suave in comparison. Gloin, who’d write something amazing about all of the above. A few of her favorite sisters, the ones who could cook and clean and knew not to overstay their welcome… A cute little fairy on leave from her crazy warlock master… (if Hilda found a way to communicate with the tiny outsider. Maybe Gloin would think of something…).

That should be enough. Hilda didn’t like big parties. She didn’t like any parties, but a house required housewarming. Otherwise it would be cold.

That would happen in a few weeks however. Right now, there was still a lot of work to be done.

A couple of meteoric strikes (well, not a couple, all her daily slots) took care of the tunnel to the underworld. There were plenty of creatures that could dig through the rubble, but why bother? There were so many collapsed passages in the endless tunnels below. One more wouldn’t draw any attention. Just in case though, Hilda and Medvak improvised some clever traps outside of the rubble. They’d kill weaker monsters and slow down stronger ones. More importantly, they’d give Hilda time to prepare if trouble came to her doorstep. Traps for monsters! Hah! I’m an anti-Dungeon Mistress! I’m the final boss for the bad guys!

Now she felt like a dragon in her lair, preparing for the inevitable raid by high level adventurers. She even had some treasure hidden in her new home…

Her home. Hilda looked around the damp cave with its strange fungi and pale crabs in small ponds, and grinned like a stupid human girl (not that she’d ever seen any human girls, she just imagined a female version of Medvak…). It actually hurt a little because her face was not used to smiling so much…

After Medvak finished installing the traps, Philly and Hilly (as Medvak called the two each time he felt like having a rock tossed in his face) started cleaning the bones and littler from the troll cave (well, Hilda cleaned. Philly just liked to eat garbage).

Soon, the real work would start.

Hilda had a small cave, a cavern, two passages, and a small dungeon ecology all to herself. She had some money and she had a djinn that could sell her anything she needed. Her booklet was bursting with the things she wanted. More things than she could afford, but she’d think of some ways to make money. This was the stereotype about dwarfs, wasn’t it?

Hilda slapped Philly on the ass, earning a grin from the ghoul, and headed back to her cavern, indicating with a wave of her hand that the ghoul should follow her. Hilda wanted to brainstorm some homemaking ideas and of her two companions (guests?) Philly seemed like the better match. Unlike Medvak, she actually had a home (before Hilda and Medvak inadvertently destroyed it). More importantly, she was a girl and Hilda always felt that homemaking was women’s business. Most importantly, Medvak left to look for firewood in the forest and Hilda couldn’t be bothered to climb the steep passage into the clearing above. She hated climbing!

“Come, Phillychka,” Hilda said, hoping she used the suffix of endearment correctly. She’d never used it before. “It’s time to discuss draperies.”

“Yay!” The ghoul squealed.

Hilda looked sideways at the purple monster ambling at her side. “And guess what’s the first thing that’s going to be draped.”

“Oh.” The ghoul said, curling her lips into a perfect O.

Hilda elbowed the ghoul and started laughing.

Hilda will return in Dwarf to the Moon!