Vine spells were awesome!

“You can manipulate the elements in so many different ways,” explained Wifey. “An almost infinite number of spells that take advantage of the soul essence conatined within all vines. You think soul crystals and soul palaces are the best part of society here on this planet, but you would be very wrong to think such a stupid, idiotic thing like that.”

“And I am no idiot.”

“Well...”

Wifey and Xi Lo Go, turned on by the insulting stuff going on right now, decided to have an R-8 moment right here and now, something that would simply not be seen by any users unless the story was popular to be worth it.

R-vines 8 moments are extremely controversial in the web fiction world. Do you really include sex and boinking just to appease those horny readers who really want to see some text that makes them get all hot and bothered? Do you keep your artistic integrity and keep that stuff to the shadows? For authors who are not themselves hot and bothered, it can be a dilemma and make some users feel like they are “selling out.” Some authors, like me, decide that R-vines 8 chapters will only ever be included with enough popularity to deserve it, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen.

“Now it’s time for me,” Wifey began, “to start listing SEO topics, an exercise I do sometimes to boost my personal brand rankings:

“Minecraft speedrun dream controversy speedrun wuxia xianxia gamelit system apocalypse ender dragon fivenights.exe undertale deltarune black butler super mario 64 pannenkoek PUs creeper mike tyson’s punch-out minedcraft.”

“I, too, like to say random words that help SEO,” said Xi Lo Go. “I guess that’s why we are husband and wife, although sometimes I wish I could see you underneath your AHH-vines 6-inspired mask.”

“Why don’t you try both of those things, then?”

“Okay. Well, first, here are my personal brand rankings:

“Basketball video algorithms one piece batman superman arkham penguinzvine stand-up maths pyrocynical mathematics math maths pig pigma mother 3 mother 2 earthbound moderator discord tips consecutive livestreams twitch ban unban how to get a new account.”

And then, Wifey nodded a few times with her very much masked face. “Yes, so we are both in agreement that Dream must certainly have hacked his game in order to get his speedrun.”

“Yep!!!! Dream is a hacker!!!!”

“What a jerk! Even if he makes more money than Thedude3445 ever will in their entire life, the people on that channel still manipulate the emotions of small children who are not old enough to know the difference.”

“Wow, is this entire story just gonna be dunking on people that the author doesn’t actually care about but is just rambling for in order to get more words per chapter?”

“Yes, yes it is,” said Wifey. “Now, since the Vine Brigade requires masks for all its members, and since you are married you must become part of the tribe, it is now required that you wear a mask, just like mine.”

“Yipee!”

“There is a vine spell that can have you can use to put on a mask. Repeat these words from me, but in the exact same order or else the spell will not work.”

“I understand. I want a mask because I am a big AUU-vines 6 fan, so I will take very careful care, because I care so much about this. Care.”

“Okay, then repeat after me.”

“I will.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Waifu nodded. “Okay, let’s go!”

Xi Long Gao nodded. “Let’s go!!!!!!!”

“Here it is...”

“Here it is...”

“Vine vines vine vines vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vines vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines.”

“Vine vines vine vines vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vines vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vine vine vines vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vines vine vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vines vine vine vine vine vine vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vines vines vines vines vine vine vine vine vines vines vine vines vines vines vines.”

And that was all that was required to create a mask.

A cool-ass badass awesome mask materialized on Xi Lo Go’s face.

“Booyeah!”

The husband and wife were now, officially, vineful lovers.

And then everything fell apart and the world began to collapse.