"...call him? He's never more than a few minutes late." Tex heard Tala say as he made his way down Barton's hall.

"He was up this morning." Barton replied. "I dunno wh--"

"Heyyyy." Tex greeted once he'd stumbled into Barton's living room.

Three pairs of eyes turned to Tex and stared, but he barely noticed.

"Dallas?" Barton asked.

"Uhuh." he replied.

"Did you get into my scotch?"

Tex hiccuped.

"Oh my god, he's day drunk." Tala muttered.

"No, this is good." said Barton. "This means he's gonna snap soon."

Tex wasn't sure what was being discussed, but he was content with that.

"Tex." Tala started. "We're meeting Ying at five thirty to go to Kōnyūgin, Japan."

"Okay." Tex replied.

"Ying's going to fly us over and help, but we need to get ourselves back."

"Okay."

"So you're going to be ready tonight at five thirty?"

"Uhuh."

"You need to stop drinking today, or you're going to have a hangover tonight."

"Okay."

The meeting only went on for another five minutes, but Tex still managed to fall asleep.

He only woke up when Barton flicked him in the forehead.

"You better set an alarm if you're gonna nap." she said.

Tex put a hand on the back of his chair and stood up to see that he and Barton were the only ones left in the room. He turned to Barton with a look of consideration, and she met his gaze back with confusion.

"You know, I was thinking." Tex rambled. "Wouldn't it be weird if you hugged me?"

"Yes." Barton replied as she left the room.

Tex frowned and rubbed the space between his eyebrows as he exited the living room. To his surprise, he found Junji waiting for him in the hallway.

"Drink this." Junji said as he handed Tex a glass of water.

Tex downed the glass in seconds, only spilling about a third of it on the floor.

"Thanks." Tex replied.

"You are welcome."

Junji began to walk away once he'd taken the glass back. Suddenly, Tex found himself encouraged to follow.

Reaching forward, Tex put his hands on either side of Junji's waist.

"Whoa." Tex said as he squeezed. "You got a tiny--"

"No." Junji muttered with a little jump and a step away.

"Oh, what, now you don't want it?"

"Not when you're drunk."

Tex didn't follow when Junji started to leave again. Tex might have felt horribly, horribly guilty regarding his actions, had he not thankfully forgotten about the encounter just a moment later.

He passed out on Barton’s couch after setting an alarm for five fifteen.

Tex woke up an unclear amount of time later, painfully sober. He could tell his alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but he pulled his phone out to see how much time he had.

He jumped when he noticed Tala was sitting on the floor, her attention squarely on him.

“Were you watching me sleep?” asked Tex.

“Yes.” Tala replied. “Junji and I have been talking and I’ve decided to give you an intervention.”

“...My relationship is fine.”

"No, I mean, you're too prudish. I can't watch you flog yourself anymore."

Out of all the conversations he'd had with Tala, Tex prepared himself for the stupidest one yet.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Tex asked.

"I don't know." answered Tala. "You should--"

Tala cut herself off for a moment to stifle a laugh.

"You should read some internet articles." she finished.

"People are writing articles about this stuff?"

"Sure. I'll send you one."

Tex looked at his phone to see Tala had sent him a link. After giving it a click, he began to read.

From Gamer Gril

article4Tex

Tex checked the time again. It wasn't Sunday, but he was pretty sure some churches still had mass on Wednesday mornings.

"Where are you going?" Tala asked when Tex left the couch.

"Don't worry about it." Tex muttered.

"Tex, I'm sorry. Please come back."

Tex rubbed his temples but stopped walking. After deciding that sleep was the only escape, he fell back onto the couch and willed himself to black out until five.

At least he was well rested when they met up with Ying.

The flight to Japan was a grueling eight hours. Tex spent the whole ride struggling to get the last word in his text fight with Lida during the limited pockets of cell phone reception.

By the time they landed in Kōnyūgin, it was about seven in the evening for the locals.

"Uhg." Ying groaned. "Why didn't we just stay in Eurasia?"

"We had to pick up Sean." Barton replied.

"Who is Sean?"

"He's like a secret sixth food group." answered Tala.

"He's our--friend." Tex explained.

Ying opened her mouth again, but closed it when Barton began to speak.

"I booked our return flight." Barton said.

"When we gotta be there?" asked Tex.

"Ten."

"How we gonna do this? Should we catfish him again?"

"Already on top of it." Tala replied as she opened a new tab on her laptop. "He watches a lot of MILF porn, so I can probably send him an offer."

Tex looked over Tala's shoulder to see she'd put together a Single Swedish Moms Looking to Fuck pop-up ad. After copying and pasting something from Google Translate, Tala gave the pop-up a message and a chat box before sending it on their target's way.

She spent the next minute staring at her computer screen in silence.

"Well?" Tex asked when he couldn't take it anymore.

"He just clicked the 'x' in the corner." Tala explained. "I don't think he fell for it."

"Send a better one."

"He'd probably think it was suspicious now."

Tex turned to Tala with A Look.

"Okay, I'm sorry." said Tala. "I wasn't expecting this to have any negative ramifications."

"Yeah, I got that."

"I'll just keep watching his house on maps, and tell you if he leaves or goes to bed. You guys can go have fun."

Tex chewed on his lower lip in frustration. Ying had done so much for them, and he hated to disservice her more than he already had.

"You wanna go into town?" he asked her.

"Okay." Ying replied.

Tex turned on his phone and opened Google Maps. After zooming over to a nearby cluster of businesses, he handed the phone to Ying.

"Where you wanna go?" Tex pushed.

Ying's brow furrowed in silent concentration as she stared at his phone screen. Tex counted thirty seconds before the screen turned black in her hand.

"We will go to the bookstore." she stated.

"Did you choose random?"

"Yes."

The bookstore was close by, but far enough that they had to walk to the train station after leaving the jet.

The air was warmer than Tex was used to. Still, the few people Tex saw were dressed more conservatively than he'd expected.

Neither Ying or Barton seemed interested in talking on the way over, so Tex pulled out his phone.

To Spoodge King

anything you wanna tell me about this place?

From Spoodge King

What aspect?

To Spoodge King

the people

From Spoodge King

They're shorter.

From Spoodge King

They have darker hair.

From Spoodge King

They speak Japanese.

To Spoodge King

i mean the culture

From Spoodge King

There's nothing to say. I see little difference between them and anyone else.

To Spoodge King

yeah, but you're nuts

From Spoodge King

They're prudish and follow frivolous traditions. Just like everyone else.

To Spoodge King

you don't see any differences?

From Spoodge King

Hmmm

From Spoodge King

They are more communal. It's hard to explain.

From Spoodge King

Altruistic isn't the right word.

From Spoodge King

Maybe you'll understand when you see.

To Spoodge King

Do you like them better than Americans?

From Spoodge King

Like I said, there's vastly more similarities than differences.

From Spoodge King

Americans are not quite so needlessly orthodox and unassertive.

From Spoodge King

Although I fail to understand the American people's tradition of stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to kiss their lovers.

From Spoodge King

Leaving their elderly to die in the streets.

From Spoodge King

Scraping the hair off their genitals so they can resemble giant razor-burned toddlers.

From Spoodge King

Disgusting.

Tex put his phone back in his pocket with a chuckle as they entered the train station.

The inside of the station was a crowded and hurried mess of dark haired people. But thankfully, the process of buying their tickets and finding the corresponding train was nearly identical to how it would’ve been anywhere else in the world. Not that Tex was surprised, as the high-speed railway had originally started as a Japan exclusive.

The only thing he failed to understand was why the train was bright pink.

"There's only eight million Japanese people." Barton said as they stepped through the open doors. "They were all in that train station."

"Christ." Tex replied. "Keep it--"

Tex cut himself off when twenty pairs of eyes snapped towards him.

They all belonged to women. It took Tex about five seconds to realize he was the only man on the train.

"Uh oh." Tex said as the doors closed behind him.

There were quite a few open seats. Tex took one next to Ying.

"Why are there women only trains?" he whispered to her.

"Attempted groping reduction." she answered.

To Tex’s relief, the ride took less than ten minutes. Tex kept his legs squeezed together the whole way over and refused to look at anyone.

Barton and Ying were closest to the doors and exited first. After getting out of his seat, Tex found himself walking up to the opening at the same time as a girl in her late teens.

Tex stepped aside, but the girl didn't budge.

"Oh, uh, after you." said Tex.

The girl managed to make eye contact with Tex for about a second before darting her eyes away.

"No." she replied.

Perhaps she didn't understand much English. Tex stepped back and swept his hand out in a gesture for her to exit the train before him.

The girl shook her head from side to side. Tex set his jaw in stone.

"Please." he continued as politely as he could manage. "I can't just--"

Tex was cut off when Barton stepped back onto the train just long enough to grab him by the collar and pull him out.

"Come on." Barton ordered.

"Why don't you just cut off my penis while you're at it?" Tex muttered.

Barton rolled her eyes and continued to drag him until they were out of the station.

The street didn't look any different than a shopping district in any smaller American city. Businesses were lined in neat rows, and locals filtered in and out of them. The most shocking thing Tex spotted was a bonfire, just burning off to the side of the main street like it was another shop.

"The book store is this way." said Ying, gesturing with her hand.

"Y'all go ahead." Tex replied. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Where are you going?"

"Just wanna check something out."

"Check what out?"

"...You sure ask a lotta questions."

Ying didn't reply.

"Alrighty." Tex muttered as he turned away.

The walk over to the fire went smoother than he was accustomed to. The locals seemed to transport themselves in manageable lines rather than slow moving clumps.

It might have just been a faulty sample, but Tex thought he saw a disproportionately large amount of people who looked over the age of sixty.

Tex stepped out of the pedestrians' way and settled next to the bonfire. The flames were safely contained in a pit, but there was no physical barrier separating it from everyone walking by. Furthermore, Tex couldn't spot a single sign in any language warning people not to trespass.

"Are you lost?" a voice asked.

Tex looked in the direction of the voice to see a man about his age.

"No." Tex answered. "Was just looking."

"Admiring the fire?"

The man had a similar accent to Junji, although his pronunciation wasn't as clean.

"Yeah." Tex replied. "Kind of amazed, actually. Nobody ever just runs in, or tries to cook something?"

The man's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Why would someone ruin it for everyone else?" he asked.

"...Not sure. Forget I said anything."

The man hummed in response before he left. Tex knew it was time to make his way over to the bookstore, although he momentarily stopped at a street vendor to buy a chocolate bar with the help of Google translate and some Yen he'd made selling Barton's N word pass on eBay.

The vendor broke the chocolate into several pieces. He then wrapped each piece individually in plastic and placed them in a brightly colored paper box, which he handed to Tex.

Tex shoved the box in his pocket and entered the bookstore.

It was on the smaller side, and not densely populated. There were far more graphic novels for sale than old fashion books. The walls were lined with stuffed animals that were clearly mascots, but the only one Tex recognized was Totoro.

He set off towards a section at random, but was quickly distracted by an arrow leading to a sunken area with two doors, one red and one blue. Upon further inspection, he noticed the red door featured a painting of a woman while the blue had a man.

There was no text on the doors to indicate it was customers only. Tex made a cautious way over and gave the blue door a knock, but no one replied.

He twisted the knob to find it was unlocked. He shot the woman behind the front counter a look to make sure he wasn't doing something he wasn't supposed to, but she just looked bored.

Tex finished opening the door to reveal a single-occupant bathroom. Amazed, he stepped inside and locked the door behind him to see there was no credit card slot.

The toilet itself was nothing but a hole in the ground with a handle to flush. A sign sat on the wall above it, which featured a cartoon diagram that instructed Tex to urinate into the toilet rather than on the floor.

He kind of felt like he was peeing off a bridge, but it did nothing to mask the novelty of urinating in public without spending money.

"Whoa." Tex whispered as he finished washing his hands.

Tex dried his hands on his pants as he left the bathroom. He ran into Barton in the Horā section, which was stocked with several shelves of what were clearly graphic horror novels.

Barton was reading a hardback book titled Uzumaki. Tex almost jumped to see the name 'Junji' on the front, but he realized it was of no relation after seeing it was preceded by the surname Ito.

"Is it good?" asked Tex.

Barton closed the book with a blank expression.

"I'll admit it." she said as she put it back on the shelf. "We shouldn't have bombed these people."

"Good talk."

Tex walked over two isles to the Shōnen section to find Ying. As he made his way over and got her attention, he saw she was sifting through a graphic novel.

The book seemed to be part of a series. Tex could see the spot on the shelf she’d taken it out of, as it was the only empty space.

"Whacha lookin at?" he greeted.

Ying tilted the novel so Tex could see. Although he couldn't read Japanese, he could tell from the pictures it was about a scantily-clad schoolgirl who turned into a dragon as a veiled allegory for the destruction of community brought about by Japan's economic shift to crony capitalism.

"This some kind of porno?" followed Tex.

"No, the porno section is over there." Ying replied.

Tex followed Ying's finger to see a line of shelves near the register.

The shelves were filled with rows and rows of magazines. They looked more like fashion magazines, so Tex felt compelled to walk over and see if Ying was telling the truth.

She was. The first magazine Tex picked up and began to sift through proved itself dirty enough to be compared to Hustler.

Tex put the magazine back on the shelf and took a step to the side with a wince. There was a small child in the aisle next to him, and nothing was preventing her from entering the section.

"Sumimasen." a new voice stated.

Tex looked over to see an employee carrying both an empty cardboard box and a full one. Tex stepped farther back from the porno magazines, but stayed close enough to watch as the employee started to toss all the magazines into the empty box.

Once the employee had finished, he pulled out several magazines from the second box and began to put them on the shelves.

The new magazines were still clearly pornographic in nature, but the similarities stopped there. Instead of models, they showcased cartoon drawings of vaguely woman-shaped things; grotesquely big chested creatures with triangle-shaped tongues.

Tex returned to Ying with less color in his face than he'd had before.

"You wanna buy anything?" he asked.

"No." Ying replied. "Are we leaving?"

"I need a drink."

They left the store after dragging Barton away from the Cowboy Bebop manga section. Back out in the street, it didn't take long for Tex to spot a bar.

"I feel like I should stop you." Barton said as they began their trek.

"I just need a shot." Tex replied. "It'll--"

"Excuse me." said a female voice.

Tex looked over his shoulder to see that a woman had followed them out of the store.

She was holding out a five-thousand Yen bill. Tex could remember putting the bill in his pocket, but he was at a loss for what was going on.

"Huh?" he asked.

"My apologies." the woman replied. "I believe you dropped this."

Tex had to open and close his eyes a few times before he was able to understand what was happening.

"Oh." he said as he took the bill. "Thank you."

"It is my pleasure. I'm glad I caught you so that I would not have to bring it to a lost and found."

The woman gave Tex a shallow bow and shot off before he could even consider giving her anything in return. Tex put the bill back in his pocket, a little shaken.

Getting his money back ended up being a good thing, considering the cover fee of the bar.

The inside of the bar was colorful and well lit. It might have passed for an American bar, had it not been so clean. Tex spotted a bartender serving customers behind a booth, several tables of red-faced businessmen, and another table off to the side where a lone man sat with a glass in his hand.

The lone man's expression was sullen. If Tex squinted, he could see the start of red and white tattoos peeking out under his sleeves.

"I need to urinate." Ying announced.

"That's nice." Barton replied as she plopped down at an empty table and opened an issue of Cowboy Bebop she'd apparently purchased.

Tex went straight for the booth. He seated himself on the only available stool, directly to the left of a businesswoman and the right of a businessman.

The man was in the middle of a phone call. In front of him were three untouched martinis.

"...arigatou gozaimasu...arigatou gozaimasu..." he said quietly into his phone. "Domo arigatou gozaimasu. Shitsurei shitsu reishimasu kachou."

The man put his phone in his blazer's front pocket after finishing his call.

"My apologies." he stated.

It took Tex a moment to realize the man was speaking to him.

"That's alright." said Tex. "It sounded important."

"Yes, it was." the man replied. "My boss is requesting me to work overtime tomorrow."

"Oof. That's rough."

"I try not to see it that way. My work is hard, but it is fulfilling. And I am lucky to have a great boss."

"Hey, I'm happy for you."

The man nodded and reached for his martinis. In three swift motions, he downed them all in sequence.

He whipped off his tie the moment he’d finished.

"I lied." the man slurred. "My boss is a bitch."

"...Alright."

"I think it's because she hasn't had sex since the 40's. Her pussy is filled with cobwebs."

Tex couldn't remember the last time he'd wanted a conversation to be over more. Thankfully, the man was nice enough to pass out cold.

Tex breathed a sigh of relief. Having nothing else to focus on, Tex’s attention turned to the businesswoman's conversation.

"...kakipi." she told the bartender. "Hitotsu."

The bartender grabbed a bowl of what looked like mixed nuts from the underbar and broke them up into several handfuls. He then wrapped each handful individually in plastic and placed them in a brightly colored paper box, which he handed to the woman.

"Arigato." the woman followed.

Tex watched out of the corner of his eye as the woman unwrapped her nuts and poured them out onto a plate.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was for her attention to fall on him.

"Hello." she greeted.

Tex turned his head to the right and gave her a quick once over.

She was wearing a lady's business suit, and her hair was tied up in a knot. She looked like she was about ten years younger than him.

"Hi." he replied. "Weren't--wasn't expecting so many people here to speak English."

"I only speak like an elementary student." she explained. "But maybe if I speak to you, my English will get better."

Tex let out a tiny 'huh'.

"Happy to help." he said.

"Thank you." she replied. “My name is Himura.”

“Good to meet you. I’m--Austin.”

"You are American?"

"I'm from the states."

"Are you a Christian?"

"I was baptized. I don't really go to church."

"You smell better than I was expecting."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

Himura didn't laugh, but she didn't seem put off either. Tex decided he should probably ask her something in return.

"You a salary woman?" Tex wondered. "You look like a salary woman."

"I'm a programmer. I help Nintendo eliminate glitches in their games."

"Glitches, huh? Those're when a program makes a mistake, right?"

Himura shook her head no.

"A glitch is only a mistake in that the programmer didn't intend for or think the game would react in such a way." she explained. "But whenever a glitch happens, it's no mistake of the program. The program can only do what it's told to do."

Although Tex didn't know much else about coding, her explanation made sense.

"Huh." he replied. "Making me feel like an idiot."

Tex felt a note of pride when a smile broke across the Himura’s face.

"That was not my intention!" she said with a laugh.

"Don't worry about it. You get a lot of time off?"

"Did you want to see me again? I believe I have an opening next month."

Himura pulled a tiny notebook from her suit pocket.

"Ooh." Tex breathed. "Sorry, I ain't in town for long."

"What are you doing in Japan?"

"Nothing much. Just a conferen--"

"Himura-san!" a new voice called. "Hayaku shiro!"

"Chotto matte!" Himura yelled back.

Himura turned back to Tex with an apologetic expression.

"I must go." she stated. "My friends rented a karaoke box."

"Karaoke box?" Tex wondered.

Himura gestured to the wall at the far end of the bar. Tex followed her hand past the businessmen to see half a dozen glass doors, each leading to a tiny room that he couldn't see much of and could hear even less from.

"Oh." followed Tex. "You don't just do it on stage?"

Himura's eyes widened at the question.

"No!" she said with a laugh. "I'm not good enough to sing in public."

"Sure you'd be fine. Have a good one."

"You as well."

After giving Tex a nod, Himura left for the back of the bar to join her friends and get groped by the hoard of drunken Japanese businessmen.

It was at that moment that Tex remembered why he'd come to the bar in the first place. When the bartender came over to assist him, Tex said the name of a liquor and held up enough Yen for a spot.

The bartender grabbed the bottle off the shelf and divided a shot's worth of liquor into four separate tiny plastic packages. He then placed each package in a brightly colored paper box, which he handed to Tex.

"...Thought all y’all were supposed to be collectivists.” said Tex.

Tex looked over when he heard Barton clear her throat. Once he'd made eye contact, she waved him over.

"Howdy." Tex greeted as he walked up.

"How's it going?" Barton asked.

"Going al--"

"That's great. Has Tala given us an update yet?"

Tex sighed as he sat down at the table and began the process of opening his tiny packets of alcohol. He glanced over just in time to see Ying exit the bathroom, and she joined their table after getting groped by the hoard of drunken Japanese businessmen.

"Don't." Barton said before Tex could lift his butt even an inch off his seat. "Don't get me kicked out."

"Fine." Tex replied. "But we're on the same comm. I have as much information as you."

Barton responded by putting her hands behind her head and leaning back in her chair.

"Alrighty, then." she said. "Wake me up when something changes."

"Be my--dammit." Tex started, cutting himself off when a packet burst and spilled alcohol all over his fingers.

There weren't any napkins at the table. Tex's eyes darted towards the bathrooms.

"I'll be back in a minute." he said to Ying.

Repressing the urge to wipe his hands on his pants, Tex stood up from the table so he could walk back to the bathroom and get groped by the hoard of drunken Japanese businessmen.

"...What the hell?!" Tex yelped at the hand that landed on his leg.

"Haafu!" the man half-shouted. "Bokuno kaono ueni suwattekudashi?"

Tex took a backwards step away from the man but kept his eyes squarely in his direction.

"You got a lot of nerve, laughing at that." Tex said through his teeth. "You shouldn't be touching people like that, and you know it."

One by one, the businessmen fell into an amused silence. The man who'd grabbed at Tex took a stand before him, seemingly not intimidated that he was a good five inches shorter.

The bartender shot a look in their direction.

"What are you going to do about it?" the man asked.

"Ain't gonna do anything besides tell you to work your shit out." Tex replied.

Out of all the reactions Tex was expecting, the smile completely dropping from the businessman's face in favor of a deep frown wasn't high on the list.

The man sat back down and put his head in his hands.

"Uh..." Tex trailed off.

"I don't mean--hic--disrespect." the man replied. "I get overpowered by instinct."

Having no intentions of seeing a grown man cry, Tex decided it would just barely be less uncomfortable to stay.

"I'm not sure how to help." he said after he'd softened his jaw.

"Me neither. I don't know how to stop it."

"Look, it ain't that complicated. Whenever you get too--riled up, you just gotta hate yourself for it."

"I do hate myself for it. Sometimes I feel like a freak, and I wonder if my family would still care for me if they knew about my wants."

"See, I can understand that. Which is why I can tell you that what keeps me in line when hating myself don't work, is to hate myself even more."

Not all of the businessmen looked like they understood what was going on. Tex wasn't sure if it was because their English was limited or they were too drunk.

The man looked at the table with an expression that resembled consideration.

"You think that will work?" he asked.

"Course. Works for--"

Tex cut himself off when someone tugged on his sleeve. He looked over to see that Ying had decided to join them.

"Please stop." she whispered to him.

"I'm doing fine." Tex muttered back.

"You are fueling a self-perpetuating system."

Tex touched his forehead. With a sigh, he took a seat in an empty chair next to the man.

"How bout this." said Tex. "Someday, you'll meet somebody for you."

"But I won't." the man replied.

"Why not?"

"I work too much. And even if I found an employed woman, we could never afford a family. What would be the point?"

Tex chewed on his lower lip while he considered the man's words.

"There a reason you can't work less?" Tex asked.

"I love my country. Japan is small, so I must work hard to ensure our spot at the table."

A glass clinked against wood, loud enough to cut off the conversation. Tex looked over two tables to see that the lone man with the red and white tattoos was looking in their direction.

"Fool." he said.

"Oh, a Yakuza is going to call me a fool?" the businessman replied.

"The last hundred generations of Japanese also believed in hard work. But they had time for families."

Out of every local Tex had heard use English, the Yakuza spoke the clearest.

"What are you implying?" the businessman asked.

The Yakuza turned his head back towards his table and tapped his finger against the wood.

"There wasn't enough economic growth, so we tried to fix it by printing money and giving it to corporations with the promise that they'd pass it on to common people." he muttered. "But all it did was inflate the Yen and lower the value of common people's wealth. So then the economy got worse. But we just--printed more and gave it to more corporations. We never stopped."

The Yakuza paused for a moment to take a swig from his glass.

"That is your government, your precious authority." he finished as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "It stole the very value of your money from you and gave it to Toyota."

"Boo, Yakuza, boo." said one of the businessmen. "You are bad and do crimes."

The businessmen started to laugh again as they passed around a chorus of high-fives. It wasn't until that moment that Tex finally realized that Junji was right to say the Japanese were exactly like Americans.

The Yakuza let out a groan. There wasn't anything left in his glass, but he tried to sip it again anyway.

"You. American." he said after Tex had stood up. "Come here."

Tex gave the Yakuza an uncertain glance.

"Sit down." the Yakuza followed.

Tex took a seat.

"Are you a mercenary?" asked the Yakuza.

"No." Tex replied.

"You're a killer. I can tell that much."

"I dunno what to tell you."

"I'm looking for a traitor. Perhaps a man like you would know him."

Tex couldn't think of a response. The Yakuza sighed and ran his thumb over his eyebrow.

"But America is huge." he followed. "The chances of you coming across him are astronomically small."

"Yeah, and I ain't no snitch."

The Yakuza pursed his lips and continued to tap his fingernail against the wood.

"In case you ever change your mind." he stated. "His name's Tagawa."

"...Any description?" Tex asked, having already forgotten the name.

"He's a kettle and a wack-job. It is unlikely you would miss him."

"I’ll keep it in mind. You need anything else, or...?"

"No. Do what you will."

The Yakuza slid Tex a business card. Tex had zero intentions of ever using it, but he pocketed it to be polite.

Tex returned to his own table to find that Barton was still asleep. Which was good, because Tex was in the mood for a private conversation.

'The guy went to bed.' Tala sent.

Tex pretended to scratch his ear as he tapped his comm.

"You sure it's the guy?" he muttered.

'He's the only one there and I saw him use the computer.'

"Cameras taken care of?"

'Yeah, just get over here.’

Ying was sitting silently next to Barton with her hands folded across the table. She only looked up when she noticed Tex was staring at her.

"What?" Ying asked.

"Why'd you cut me off back there?" answered Tex.

"With the pervert?"

"Yeah. I was giving that guy some good advice."

Ying's face was still blank. Tex was at a loss for whatever emotion she was experiencing.

"Repression has worked for you?" she wondered.

"I mean--that's one way to put it."

Tex reached for his shot before realizing he'd spilled it on his hands.

"Do you have any fetishes?" asked Ying.

"......Excuse me?"

"Do you have any fetishes?"

Tex stared.

"The fetishes you have." Ying continued. "Do they revolve around shame? Are you intrigued by acts that make you feel ashamed? That you associate with shame?"

"What are you getting at?"

"I was angry when I was developing sexually. Now I am intrigued by sadism."

Tex was unable to respond.

"What was the emotion you most heavily felt in reference to the first time you had sexual thoughts?" Ying pushed. "Was it shame?"

A flame of anger flared all too suddenly in Tex's chest, although he did his best to contain it.

"This ain't the kind of thing I talk about with people." he replied. "I'm gonna ask you right now to respect that."

“That sounds like an unpleasant arrangement. But I will honor it."

It took them another train ride and a ten minute walk to get to the location Tala sent them. Tex spent every moment of the way over making sure Barton was between him and Ying.

The city shifted into a more residential area, which then shifted into longer, curvier roads with an almost countryside feel. Tex handed Ying a pair of gloves to put on as they walked up. It wasn't as late as Tex would have liked to strike, but it was dark and underpopulated.

They found Tala hiding behind a line of overgrown hedges that framed the same house they'd seen on Google Earth.

"We ready?" asked Barton.

After briefly considering if he should ask Ying if she was comfortable, Tex realized she'd probably voice it if she wasn't.

"Let's do it." he replied.

Getting into the house went the way it always did. Ying watched in what looked like amusement as Tex used his pick to unlock the door from the inside.

"Where's his bedroom?" Barton wondered.

"Upstairs." Tala answered.

"Cool. How bout I kill him, while you guys work?"

"Guess that would save time." Tex replied as he handed Barton his gun.

Tex wasn't sure what he was expecting from the inside of the house, but it was what it was. The target's living room was a mess of pillows and clothes, all three bathrooms were filled to the brim with stray bugs and backed up faucets, his kitchen was coated in an uneven layer of broken dry ramen noodles, and his amiibo collection was in mint condition and completely dust free.

The computer wasn't hard to locate. After following several adapter cables under a door, they found it in an office space next to the kitchen.

"That is a large computer." Ying observed.

"Uhuh." Tala replied. "Are you ready to look inside?"

"Are we going to bypass security?"

"Yeah, but only in the most confusing way possible."

As she spoke, Tala pulled the adapter out of her bag and handed one of the two blue cords to Ying.

"Stick this on your forehead." Tala explained. "It'll let you view the inside."

"How?" asked Ying.

"You'll see."

"It will not recreate my person inside the simulation, will it?"

"Computerverse."

"It won't." Tex answered. "You'll just be a--spectator."

Ying stuck the suction cup to her forehead. Tex did the same when Tala handed him the other blue cord.

The yellow velvet interior of the train car popped into view for Tex. Ying was already taking a look around, both at herself and her surroundings.

"You doing alright?" Tex asked her.

"Yes." she replied. "I like train cars. I'm pleased the spectator hub takes the form of a train car."

Before putting them in the big computer, Tala hooked them up to her laptop and had them open a tester file as a tutorial. Tex showed Ying how to turn the screen on by touching it at the same time as him.

"So this adapter is versatile enough to allow machines, such as us, to view other machines?" Ying asked as Tala moved the green cord from her laptop to their target's computer.

"Yeah." answered Tex.

"Does it work in the reverse?"

"...Huh?"

"For example. Could we look inside of Tala, if we hooked the blue to ourselves and the green to her?"

Tex chewed on the inside of his cheek. He'd never even considered it before, but he suddenly found himself embarrassed that he hadn't.

"Uh, we don't actually know." he replied.

"We'll think about it later." said Tala. "When we get out of the house."

Ying nodded and put her hand back on the train car window. A Japanese home screen appeared, and Tex opened task manager.

"Number one CPU burner by far is something called Gmod-Plus." he announced.

"Ooh." Tala said. "Hey, Ying, do you mind if I take a look first? That way I can warn you about what you'll see."

"Very well." Ying replied.

Ying popped out of the train car. A moment later, she was replaced by Tala. The homescreen reappeared when Tala put her hand on the window.

After closing task manager and opening file explorer, Tex hovered his finger over Gmod-Plus in the system tray and sucked in a long breath.

"Do I need to press it for you?" asked Tala.

"Uh, no." Tex answered.

Tex clicked on the file. Immediately, the scene before him changed to something too horrible to describe.

"Wow I can't believe someone decided to waterboard Gordon Freeman." said Tala.

"Who is Gordon Freeman?" Ying wondered.

"Don't worry about it. You'll be fine."

The screen under Tex's fingers turned black when Tala disappeared from the train car. Ying popped into view a moment later and put her own hand on the window, bringing the scene back to life.

Tex managed not to vomit, but not by much.

"Why are you upset?" Ying asked.

"He's always upset." answered Tala.

"The graphics are out of date."

"One time he got upset watching the guy from Atari adventure get flogged."

Tex forced himself to examine the screen in detail. In a foreign, blue and grey control room, a man restrained by metal rods was choking on a thick stream of water that alternated between on and off in twenty-six second intervals.

"The screen says Mr. Freeman is at forty health." Ying stated.

"Okay." Tala replied.

"If his health can lower, will he not die over time?"

"Health only drops in the source engine from weapons and fall damage. Seems like this person just straight up gave Gordon Freeman basic consciousness and nerve endings and changed nothing else."

"Oh."

"Tex, is Gordon the only asset you sense?"

Tex barely managed a hum of affirmation.

"Alright, I'll just take his asset out of the code." followed Tala.

Both Tex and Gordon stopped writhing in pain when in a sudden flash, everything but Gordon's asset was replaced by a white void.

Confused, Gordon looked over both his shoulders.

"Let's call in Jesus." Tala muttered as she called in the Jesus asset, who clashed horribly with Gordon's low-poly count.

Over the twenty minutes that followed, Tala fed the Jesus asset dialogue with her keyboard to explain the situation. Gordon listened with a blank expression.

"So what would you like me to do for you?" Jesus finished.

Gordon blinked.

"Send me back to the Combine citadel." he replied. "I just want to finish my mission."

Tex heard Tala's fingers falter over her keyboard for a moment before she wrote out a response.

"Do you understand what I've explained to you?" asked Jesus.

"Someone in your universe created a modded version of a video game so they could torture my asset." Gordon answered. "Of course I understand that, I went to MIT."

"So it doesn't bother you that you're in a simulation?"

"Why would that bother me?"

"Good for him." Ying muttered fondly.

Tala's keyboard began to rapidly click once again.

"Alright, Mr. Freeman, give me a moment to hit control z on your notepad file." Jesus finished.

"Thanks, Jesus."

Gordon sat down on nothing with his hands folded in his lap while Tala worked. When she'd brought back the rest of the program, however, he was back under the restraints.

"Sorry, Tex." Tala said as Gordon began to choke again.

It took about a half hour of trial and error of Tala searching through the code to get rid of just the metal rods that were restraining Gordon. But once she did, Gordon stood up and brushed himself off without a word.

He picked up his crowbar from the floor.

"Uh oh." Tex muttered when Gordon started to run after an entire group of enemy soldiers.

"What?" asked Tala.

"Nothing. I mean, he's got more than one life, right?"

It took Tala a moment to respond.

"I just realized he can't quick save without his code recompiling." she said. "He's going to fucking die."

Tex frowned. He didn't know who Gordon Freeman was, but he was extremely invested in his quest.

"Maybe I could play the game for him." Tala followed. "I used to speedrun Half Life 2."

"Wouldn't you need the monitor to be up?" Tex replied.

"Yeah, but since you have access to the homescreen, we can create a new password that way."

Tala typed something new on her laptop. Gordon stopped running when Jesus spawned in before him once again.

"Gordon, would you like my help completing the game?" asked Jesus. "I can get you through it without dying."

Gordon rubbed his chin.

"My friends are depending on me." he replied. "I'll take your offer."

While Gordon passed the time by hammering his name into a concrete wall with his crowbar, Tex used the train car window to find their target's gmail address on chrome. From there, Tala sent a request for a password reset and Tex approved the request by pressing the 'リセットを承認' button. They then updated the password to Biggupīpī and they were on their way.

"I'm in." Tala announced.

Although Tex couldn't see Tala sit down in the chair and start to play the game, he could tell she was doing so as Gordon started to move.

What Tex wasn't expecting, however, was when Tala jumped Gordon off a guard and did a three sixty in the air, which somehow allowed her to fly Gordon backwards at inhuman speeds safely passed several fire fights.

"Weeee!" Gordon shouted.

"How you moving so fast?" asked Tex.

"Do you really want me to explain it?" Tala replied.

"Are you cheating?"

"Not--exactly. Do you know what a game engine is?"

"No."

"It's the software they used to make the game."

"Oh."

"Basically, I'm moving faster than the software wants me to go, so it's pushing me backwards to try and slow me down. But I'm already going backwards, so..."

While he considered Tala's words, Tex popped the blue cable off his head now that he could just watch her play on the monitor.

"That...makes sense." he said slowly.

"But?" Tala asked.

"But it sounds--I dunno, like it could've been anything."

"Yes, it is like any other law of physics." Ying replied.

Tex rubbed the spot where the suction cup had been on his forehead with consideration.

"Can you--can you do anything like that in real life?" Tex stammered.

"Do anything like what?" Ying wondered as she pulled off her own cord.

"Exploit, I guess."

"Yes. I once helped Hillary Clinton exploit physics by throwing her into space at high speeds so she wouldn't be too old to run for president."

"You a fan of Clinton?"

"I needed the grant money."

Tex opened and closed his mouth twice before turning his attention to the monitor.

"...ancient stars colonized by sentient fungi." a man's voice rambled. "Gas giants..."

"I can't skip the cutscene, so we'll just have to watch it." said Tala.

A woman escorted Gordon into a room. As Gordon turned the corner, Tex was confronted with a scene of two men talking in a meeting room.

One man was in a suit, and the other was in restraints.

"Worlds stretched thin across the membranes where dimensions intersect." the man in the suit continued. "Impossible to describe with our limited vocabulary."

"What I have seen is also beyond words, Breen." the other man replied. "Genocide, indescribable evil."

Tex reached into his pocket and grabbed the chocolate he'd bought.

"Yes, what is it Judith?" the man in the suit asked when the woman who'd escorted Gordon got his attention.

"The bargain we should be making is for Eli’s life, so he can continue his research." Judith replied.

"Thanks to you, we have everything we need in that regard. You are more than qualified to finish his research yourself. But what neither you nor I can do is convince that--rabble in the streets to give up their senseless struggle. Yet Eli refuses to speak the words that would save them all."

"Save them?!" the other man scoffed. "For what?!"

"If you will not do this for the good of all people, maybe you will do it for one of them."

Tex watched as a mechanical arm took another prisoner pod off the wall and opened it to reveal a young woman.

"Alyx, Honey!" Eli yelped.

"Dad!" Alyx replied. "Huh, Gordon? No!"

Tex didn't know much about the plot of the game, but he managed to work out that Alyx and Eli had teamed up with Gordon to fight a fascist intergalactic dictatorship, Judith had been on their side at some point but betrayed them for the safety of herself and Eli, and that Dr. Breen was the dumb doodoo head who'd sold out the human race in the first place.

"Alyx, my dear, you have your mother's eyes." Dr. Breen continued to Alyx. "But your father's stubbornness."

"You haven't seen a bit of it yet." she replied.

Tex looked over when a voice outside the monitor cleared her throat.

"I killed the guy." Barton said as she dumped the body of a middle-aged Japanese man on the floor.

"How about it Dr. Freeman?" asked Dr. Breen. "Did you realize your contract was open to the highest bidder?"

Gordon said nothing. Behind Dr. Breen's back, Judith pulled something out of her pocket.

"Gordon would never make any kind of deal with you!" Alyx spat.

"We should probably move the body." said Tala.

"Uhuh." Tex replied as he bit off another piece of chocolate.

Judith lifted the object she'd taken out of her pocket, and Tex saw that it was charged with some sort of electricity. When she waved it over a console next to Dr. Breen, whatever sequence Dr. Breen had been trying to initiate shut down.

"Judith, what do you think you are doing?" Dr. Breen yelped.

"We are doing what I could never do alone." she answered. "We're stopping you."

"Oh, shit." Tex muttered, a chunk of chocolate falling from his mouth.

The cutscene ended after Dr. Breen ran off with the gravity gun. Able to play again, Tala grabbed a head bust off the wall, clipped up to the top of the map, and took down the boss before the other characters had even finished processing the fact that Dr. Breen had left.

The credits began to roll after a speech from a character Tex didn't recognize. Right before they ended, Tala isolated Gordon's asset once again.

This time Gordon was carrying six guns, a rocket launcher, a crowbar, and the gravity gun.

"I did it!" Gordon said as he waved a Colt Python revolver in the air.

"The game's over, Gordon." Jesus replied once he'd spawned in. "Do you want us to do anything else for you?"

"That's alright. I've fulfilled my purpose."

The moment he'd finished speaking, Gordon cocked the Colt Python and shot a bullet into his head.

"Uh, we could have just deleted your code." Jesus said to Gordon.

Gordon didn't reply, because he was dead.

"What a hero." Barton said as she took off her hat.

As was the usual, they planted the cheap black market gun they'd smuggled over in Barton's shoulder on the body and called it a day. None of them were too worried about it, considering they were in Japan.

"Alright." Barton said as they walked out the front door. "We got an hour and a half to get to the airport."

"That should be doable." Ying replied. "I will part ways with you all at the train station."

Tex momentarily turned his phone on to check the time. In the process, he learned that he had four missed texts from Lida.

He let out a tiny groan. He knew he could probably make up with her, but it had gotten to the part it always did where he couldn't come unless she threatened to ruin him financially.

"Is something wrong?" asked Ying.

Tex put his phone down to see that Ying was looking in his direction.

"No, just a text from my--girlfriend." he replied as he turned his phone off.

"Why are you not answering?" Ying pushed.

“She’s mad at me.”

“Perhaps she will be angrier if you don’t respond.”

“Look, even if I made up with her, she’d just want me to visit.”

"Is this something you want to avoid?"

Tex wasn't sure why Ying was so curious, although he saw no reason to lie.

"I'm just--I'm tired." Tex answered.

"Too tired to travel?"

"Yeah, and--she usually takes a lot out of me."

Ying's eyes squinted in concentration.

"Have you considered that your relationship with your girlfriend might be bad?" she asked.

Tex burst into tears.

"Aaand, there's time." Barton noted with a glance at her watch.

"...Woah." said Tala.

"I was not saying I thought it was bad." Ying continued. "I was asking if you had considered the possibility."

Tex shoved his hands under his glasses as the shock overtook him. He hadn't been expecting to break down so abruptly, and it took a moment for his brain to catch up to the fact that he was crying.

There weren't any strangers around, but it did little to make him feel less self-conscious.

"What should we do?" he heard Ying ask Barton.

"He'll be fine in like a minute." Barton replied.

"That seems like a cruel assumption."

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it?"

Ying didn't answer. Tex willed himself to stop sobbing, but the disgust with himself for over-drinking and the sudden fracture of his denial were too much to bear.

"Here, come with me." said Ying.

Tex complied when Ying led him with a hand on his waist over to a secluded patch of hedges. He knew they should probably be getting off the property, but he wasn't really able to do anything about it.

"What are you--what are we doing?" he managed.

"I would like to alleviate your discomfort." Ying replied.

Ying took a seat on the dirt and urged Tex to do the same.

Tex managed to taper his sobs for a moment, but resumed when his head was pushed into Ying's lap.

He adjusted his legs so he could comfortably lay down and press his face into Ying's stomach. Thankfully, Ying didn't seem to mind getting her shirt wet.

"Now." Ying started as she pulled out her phone. "Would you like to talk about what is going on?"

Talking with Ying went exactly how Tex probably should have expected it to. After putting himself together enough to give her a brief rundown, she insisted on making a pros and cons list.

It took about ten minutes.

"You have given me your top ten reasons to stay and reasons to leave, and you have assigned values between one and ten to each point." Ying said. "Would you like to see the list?"

"...Okay." Tex replied.

Tex turned his head out of Ying's stomach. She pushed her phone screen in front of his face.

"The total of your pros list adds up to sixty points." Ying continued. "But the total of your cons adds up to sixty-three."

It was tough news to swallow, but Tex managed. To his surprise, he found his thoughts somehow more stable and optimistic than before he'd started crying.

Although he was at a loss for what had caused it.

"You--you're right." he managed. "I know what I gotta do."

"Yes. Now we will take our numbers and adjust them to compounding factors."

Tex maneuvered himself into a sitting position to see that Ying had pulled up a calculator app on her phone.

"I meant about ending the relationship." he explained.

"Oh. Do you think she would stab you in the kidney again if you broke up with her?"

"No, she stabbed me cause of--political reasons."

"I understand."

Ying took a stand and brushed the dirt off her pants. Tex did the same after drying his glasses on his shirt.

"Are you ready to rejoin society?" asked Ying.

"Sure." Tex lied. "Let's go."

Barton and Tala were in the same place they'd been before Tex had left with Ying.

"I'm--I'm sorry." he stammered.

"Don't be." Barton replied as she waved the memory pen in front of Tex's face. "Don't remember a thing."

"Thanks."

"You'd do the same for me."

Barton began to lead them back the way they'd came. Tex still felt like he should apologize to Tala, but it didn't seem like she cared at all.

"I don't care at all." said Tala.

They took their third train of the day to get to the airport. Ying had to go a different direction than them, so they bid her goodbye at the doors.

Tex had wanted to thank her, but it had been too hard to make eye contact.

The rest of the trip home was tedious. Tex managed to sleep through most of the plane ride, but they still had to take a train and a bus to get back.

He spent both the train and bus ride drafting a letter to Lida on his phone. It was harder than he'd expected it to be, as Tex wasn't sure if he should apologize or be angry with her.

After deleting everything he'd written three times, he decided to give it a day.

Tex was drained by the time they got back to Barton's place. So much so that he nearly ran into Junji as they crossed paths in the living room.

"Hello." Junji greeted. "How did it go?"

Junji's expression was overwhelmingly content. Tex blinked hard a few times until his brain was able to both register the question and Junji's existence.

"You wanna watch a movie?" asked Tex.

"...Alright." Junji replied with a chuckle.

"I might close my eyes a little, but I won't be asleep."

"I understand."

“Thanks.”

"Come with me. We can watch it on my laptop."

Tex nodded and began to follow after Junji. However, Junji's pace faltered after just a few seconds.

"Something up?" Tex wondered.

"Just, uh, one thing."

"Hmm?"

"In Japan. No one asked about me, right?"

"Nah."