Spending thirty six hours in Sweden proved itself less than fine. After just half a day of being cooped up in a hotel room together, the four of them found that tensions grew when they weren't working towards a common goal.

"You're not my real dad!" Tala sobbed.

"What--huh?" Tex replied.

"Why must I wear pants inside the same room as I sleep?" Junji asked as he pounded his fist against the table. "I demand answers!"

Barton let out a long groan and grabbed Tala's bag off of one of the two beds. Tala's crying came to an immediate halt.

"What are you doing?" Tala wondered.

"Getting the Pain Finder Thing." answered Barton.

Curious, Tex stood next to Barton as she pulled the box from the bag. The dot in Japan was still present, but Barton zoomed in until they were only viewing everything in a thirty mile radius.

"Oh, we doing another side quest?" Tex asked.

"We're getting out of this room, that's for sure." she replied.

The largest dot was just a few miles away. It looked just a bit bigger than the one for the coma patient had been.

Tala looked up the address on her phone.

"Looks like it's some sort of theater." said Tala.

"Woah, it's got really bad reviews." Barton noted as she read over Tala's shoulder.

"What do they say?" Tex wondered.

"Not sure. They're in Swedish."

They took a bus into a posh part of town to search for the theater. Using Google Maps, they found it just off the sidewalk next to an intersection. The insane events of the day before were still fresh in Tex’s mind, but they avoided speaking about it now that they’d turned their phones back on.

It took them an hour to get there. The dot had long since disappeared by the time they’d arrived, but they’d decided to continue with their investigation nonetheless.

It was a tall and wide building, and several unlit signs over the door indicated it commonly held some kind of event. Tex wished he could read the writing.

None of the locals paid the building any attention.

The front of it looked like the front of a large movie theater. Barton tried one of the doors to find it was unlocked.

"Guess we got nothing to lose." Tex mumbled as he held the door open for everyone.

Past a horizontal hallway with some bathrooms and drinking fountains were rows and rows of built-in seats that covered the floor almost all the way down to a giant projector screen. There was nothing on the screen, but Tex still felt compelled to take a closer look.

The room was eerily empty. He almost jumped when the door shut under its own weight behind them.

"If we ever get murdered, it would probably be in here." Barton said helpfully as they made their way down to the screen.

After climbing onto the tiny stage before the screen, Tex reached his fingers out towards the screen to find it was made of a fluid fabric.

"We should check under it." he suggested. "Seems a little suspicious."

Junji lifted a bit of the screen from the bottom. Tex caught sight of a small section of a computer.

Not wanting to risk moving the screen around too much, Tex got down on his knees and shoved his head under the fabric. He could see more of the computer as he lifted his head up, and more still when he started to strain his neck.

After lying down with his back to the floor, Tex still couldn't see the top of the computer.

"What's back there?" Tala asked.

"A bunch of porn." Tex answered.

"What genre?"

"Uh, incest."

"You have to be more specific."

"I wanna see." said Barton.

"Too late." Tex replied. "Now it's just Seinfeld reruns."

"Hejsan!" a new voice called.

Tex frantically pulled his head out from the curtain and stood to see a dog and a middle-aged woman in a lab coat rushing down to them from the entrance they'd come in through.

The dog, a shockingly silver retriever, was attached to a red leash. It was tugging the woman along and leaving her struggling not to teeter over in the tall heels she was wearing. Tex could see that the woman was tall and beautiful, with a glowing, oval face and a long ponytail of blonde hair.

She was struggling to catch her breath by the time she’d closed in on them and came to a stop. Her dog took a seat by her heels.

'Can pet? ' Tex wondered.

"Hello." Junji greeted.

The woman frowned upon hearing Junji's voice. Tex only realized at that moment that her dog was made from a detailed array of jointed metal parts.

"Speak English?" she asked.

"Yeepers." Tala replied.

The woman's face twisted with confusion.

"That means yes." said Tex. "Yes, we speak English."

"Oh!" the woman replied with a clap of her hands. "Very good!"

Tex made eye contact with the dog, trying to understand how it worked. The dog met his gaze back with two silver eyes.

Without warning, it lurched forward in Tex's direction.

"Voff! Voff!" the dog yipped, pulling the woman along with it.

The dog's mouth wasn’t moving. Tex figured the bark must have come from a speaker inside its throat.

"Nej, Roffe! Nej!" the woman yelped.

As Roffe the dog sniffed at Tex's ankles, his owner came crashing into Barton. Barton didn't even blink.

"Gay." Barton stated as she peeled the woman off herself.

Tex knelt down and scraped his fingers against the smooth, cold metal behind Roffe's ears.

'Pet. ' he thought.

"Sorry about dog." said the woman.

"English detected." Roffe barked in an automated male voice. "Switching language to English."

The woman dusted herself off and straightened her shoulders. Roffe rolled over, teaching Tex that robot dogs also had testicles.

"I am Doctor Lofgren." the woman explained as she pointed to herself. "What can I help you with?"

Tex exchanged an uncertain glance with Barton. He had no idea how to even begin explaining to her why they'd come.

"We're investigating a...minor disturbance." Tex replied. "Has anything strange been happening here?"

"Strange?" asked Dr. Lofgren. "No."

"We saw you got a pretty impressive computer. You wouldn't be tetragramming, would you?"

Dr. Lofgren's eyes went wide.

"No!" she yelped. "They are not conscious. It is just coin flips."

"Who isn't conscious?" Barton asked.

"I just do presentations. I would never tetragram."

"Presentations?"

"Yes. I do presentation for you?"

Tex gave his coworkers a glance to find they all seemed various levels of interested.

"I'm alright with that." Tex slowly replied. "Are y'all alright with that?"

Junji and Barton grumbled that they were. Tala clapped her hands with excitement.

"Yay!" Dr. Lofgren said with a clap of her own. "Please follow me."

Dr. Lofgren situated herself on the far side of the stage, right next to the edge of the screen. After a few seconds of hesitation, Tex followed her to see she’d taken a stand in front of a small, ATM-like machine with a tiny monitor.

A messy line formed in front of him.

"Come forward when ready." Dr. Lofgren instructed. "Do not worry, there will be no pain."

Tala stepped forward first. Tex strained his neck to watch as Dr. Lofgren plucked a single strand of Tala's hair and put it in a little slot in the machine.

Nothing happened. Dr. Lofgren frowned and tapped her fist against the machine.

"Roffe, will you please organize backroom wires?" she asked.

"When would you like that done by?" Roffe replied.

"Quick as you are physically able."

"I could complete the task faster if I knew more commands. You have restricted me from teaching myself more commands. Would you like me to override this restriction?"

"Ja. Ja. Whatever."

Roffe disappeared under the curtain. A moment later, words began to rapidly flash on the monitor.

Tex struggled to read them.

Female. Twenty-six. Ninety-two percent Native American. Eight percent Northern European. One point six meters tall. Preferred weight of sixty-one kilo--

The words began to go by too quickly for Tex to understand them, but Dr. Lofgren seemed content.

"Next person." she ordered.

Barton was next in line. Dr. Lofgren frowned at Barton's hat.

"No hair?" she asked as she reached into the pocket of her lab coat. "Will have to do finger prick."

Barton didn't resist in the slightest as she placed her finger inside the tiny box that was held out for her.

Female. Sixty-one. One hundred percent East African. One point eight meters tall. Preferred weight of fifty-one kilograms. Hair colo--

"Woah, that just gave me a rush." said Barton. "Prick the other one, too."

"No."

Junji was next after Barton. He handed a hair to Dr. Lofgren that he’d apparently already plucked from himself.

She placed it in the machine. After a few seconds of processing, the monitor began to blink with confusion regarding ‘inconsistencies’.

"Are you transgender man?" Dr. Lofgren wondered.

"I don't know." Junji replied.

Dr. Lofgren's eyes opened wide with fear.

"He's a man--thing." Tex stammered.

After a few moments of consideration, Dr. Lofgren manually typed 'male' into the machine and hit enter.

The rest of Junji's data seemed to file in just fine, which meant it was Tex's turn. He did his best not to flinch as Lofgren pulled a strand of his hair.

Male. Thirty-eight. Eighteen percent Latin American. Twelve percent South American. Forty percent Northern European. Nineteen percent Southern European.

"Can we place our bets on the last percent?" asked Tala.

One percent Central African .

Barton pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and scribbled something on it. She handed it to Tex.

It read 'N-word pass'.

Tex winced as he slipped it into his pocket, unprepared for the responsibility.

"Most of this does not matter." Dr. Lofgren explained. "Please do not mind machine."

After they'd all been thoroughly scanned, several pages of information printed out of the side of the machine. Lofgren picked up the papers and fixed them to a clipboard before Tex could get a good look.

Roffe reappeared from under the curtains. He took a seat next to Tex’s foot.

"May I start simulation?" Dr. Lofgren asked as she pulled a remote from her pocket.

Tex didn't see why not, so he let out a mumble of affirmation along with everyone else. Dr. Lofgren pointed her remote at the screen and pressed several buttons.

The giant screen of the theater hummed to life with a moving picture. Tex took a look to see two people phase into view.

They were a male and an older female. The male's torso was covered in a pattern of horizontally striped tattoos, while the female's torso was covered in vertical ones. The only clothing they wore were strips of fabric over their genitalia. They were frighteningly high up in a tree, and the male was supporting the female like an expert trapeze artist.

The background was all savanna.

"Who are they?" Tex wondered.

"You." Dr. Lofgren replied as she pointed to him and Barton. "And her."

Tex re-examined the male's face in awe. His features were stronger, his skin was darker, and he was covered in more body hair, but Tex could distantly see the resemblance.

"How’d you make us cavemen?" he asked.

"Recreated your inherent neurology and physiology in simulation." answered Dr. Lofgren. "Put them in hunter-gatherer times as babies."

"How did you get data for hunter-gatherer times, though?" Tala pushed. "We don't have any."

"Machine creates a group of randomized human assets and raises them by Bonobo monkeys. Then machine speeds up time for several thousand generations until humans have developed complex language and culture."

Tex felt a wave of gratefulness that he'd previously learned what an asset was.

"Hell's a Bonobo monkey?" he wondered.

"Bonobo is human's closest relative." Dr. Lofgren explained fondly. "They are intelligent and altruistic species without war or infanticide."

"...Sounds nice."

"Yes. They also fuck children, but I did not want to mention."

While Tex suppressed a wave of nausea, the male and female in the tree began to bicker with one another. Dr. Lofgren pressed a button on her remote and the words 'translating to English' flashed across the screen.

"This female is respected elder." she said as she pointed to the older female on the screen. "She came into power by sheer force of old age."

"Good for her." Barton replied.

"You said they don't feel, right?" asked Tala.

"No." Dr. Lofgren replied. "Not conscious."

Tex examined the screen with thought. He believed Dr. Lofgren that they couldn't feel, but he couldn't help wondering what they would be thinking if they could.

|

"Just a little higher, Spia." said Dagut.

Spia grit his teeth and pushed Dagut up a few more inches. His thighs burned from suffering five hours of constant strain, but they were almost finished.

"Got it." Dagut followed.

Her weight became easier to support the moment her fingers had reached the branch. Still, Spia pushed until Dagut was able to get one of her legs next to her hand.

"Here." Spia grunted as he passed her the bag.

Dagut took the bag. With nothing else to capture his attention, Spia watched as she pulled out the fire stick and began to twist it rapidly into a grove in the bark on the branch she was seated on.

The hive they were after was inside a hollow in the tree. Once Dagut had made a tiny flame, she pulled out a tied mess of dry leaves from the bag, lit the end, and shoved it into the hollow.

"Did you blow on it?" asked Spia.

"Did you blow on it?" Dagut echoed before pushing her thumbs together to create a tiny hole and blowing through it onto the fire.

Dagut was a niht female elder who Spia had known his entire life. She was a pain in the ass, but Spia loved her, and he knew she loved him.

Once the bees had been properly incapacitated, Dagut began to pass the chunks of honeycomb down to Spia. Spia made a silent reminder to himself not to touch his hair until he washed his hands.

There were several dead bees stuck in the honeycomb. Spia tried not to think about how delicious they looked.

Getting down the tree was even harder than getting up, but it was their last climb of the day. Every muscle in Spia's body begged to be given a rest, but his mind knew doing so would result in injury and the loss of a perfectly good honeycomb, seven eggs, and some leaves that could be made into a resin that killed pain for the small price of severe diarrhea.

Spia leaned up against the tree and wiped the thick sweat from his brow the second they'd gotten back to the ground.

"You ready to run back home?" Dagut asked him.

"No."

"You'll be fine. It's only 9.736 kilometers."

|

"...What?" asked Tala.

"They have their own units of distance." Dr. Lofgren explained. "Language translator translates into metric."

"Oh, that makes sense."

|

Spia groaned, but he knew he could do it. He did it everyday.

Although that didn’t make it easy.

"Okay, work is over." Dagut panted as they slowed to a halt near the end of their village. "Time to rest for ten hours."

"Uhhg. "

"You're fine."

It was usually the time that Spia would set out to find his friends, but this time, they found him first.

They must have been waiting for him.

Spia's two best friends were Raif, a male, and Hudin, a younger niht female. He loved both of them very much and knew they loved him in return.

"...not saying it was aliens." Raif finished to Hudin. "I'm saying we can't rule out the possibility that it was aliens."

|

"I believe that is us." Junji noted to Tala.

"Nice to know we would all still hang out if we didn't have mercy killing to bring us together." Tala replied.

|

"Hello." Spia said as he greeted them by bending his right arm, extending his left, and dipping his head into his bent arm.

His friends returned the greeting.

|

"Oh my god." Tala muttered.

|

"How are you doing, Raif?" asked Spia.

|

"These are the stupidest names I've ever heard." Barton said.

|

"You smell bad." Raif replied.

"Thanks. Did you two hunt anything?"

Hudin held up a stick with two roasted birds shoved on it. They smelled delicious, but the sensation only made Spia a very familiar kind of uncomfortable.

"Raif tried to hunt a boar by himself." answered Hudin.

"Did it work?" Spia wondered.

"Am I holding a boar?" Raif replied.

"No."

"Do I look like I've just had to run for my life?"

"Yes."

They dropped off their food at the communal table. Everything looked appealing to Spia, although he didn't have the time to hide away and eat anything.

"Why was he trying to hunt a boar by himself?" Spia asked Hudin.

"No one would help him." she answered.

Despite the fact that Spia and Hudin both openly liked Raif, their collective status apparently wasn't enough to raise his.

"You should do honey and eggs with Dagut and I." Spia suggested to Raif. "We could use a third."

"...I'm allergic to bee stings." Raif replied.

Spia winced.

"You two do smell terrible." Hudin said. "Let's go to the river."

"We should stop by the cchit first." Dagut replied. “We need more soap."

Everyone mumbled in agreement, and they took off towards the river. They only stopped once to grab a cup of boiled ash and animal fat from a group of cchit females at the far end of camp.

"Thank you." Spia said to the female who'd given him the soap.

She had wide hips and diagonally striped tattoos across her chest, as did all cchit. Spia had seen her a few times before.

"Have fun." she chuckled.

|

"Hell's a cchit?" asked Tex.

Dr. Lofgren paused the simulation with her remote and glanced down at her clipboard.

"One of their three squibders." she answered. "Males, nihts, and ccihts. Females have been broken into two groups based on body weight."

"For what?" Tala pushed.

"Cchit females are responsible for childbirth and gathering fruit. Niht females hunt bird and bugs."

Tex felt his face twist with confusion.

"What's a squibder?" he asked.

"Who knows?" Lofgren replied.

"Who cares?" Barton grunted.

|

The walk to the river wasn't long. Still, they managed to run into a large group of children following two adults whose names Spia didn't know.

All of the children were at least five, as was expected.

"Hello!" one of the adults greeted.

Along with everyone else, Spia bent his right arm, extended his left, and dipped his head into his bent arm.

"So you're on kid duty today, huh?" Dagut asked one of the adults.

While Dagut talked to the adults, Spia searched the group to see if any of his kids were present.

"Daddy!" a voice called.

Spia turned his attention in the direction of the voice and smiled wide when he saw who it was.

|

"Oh. " Tex muttered, loud enough for only himself to hear.

|

Spia was nearly knocked over as his son came running over to him.

"Kames." Spia snickered. "Hey, buddy."

"I made an art!" Kames yelled.

Spia was handed a clay sculpture painted with different colors of berry juice. He examined it with care.

"It's--good." Spia said as he gave the sculpture back to Kames.

It wasn't good. Spia stepped on Raif's foot before he could give Kames any advice on complementary colors.

"Thank you!" Kames replied.

"You remember we're having family night with your mother the day after tomorrow, right?" asked Spia.

"Yes!"

"Uh, could you remind me who your mother is again?"

"Pulin."

"Oh good. It's always nice to see her."

After giving Spia one more promise that he would be on time, Kames ran off with his terrible statue to rejoin his friends.

Spia hadn’t been lying when he’d said it would be nice to see Pulin. He liked her the best of all the females he’d gotten pregnant, even if most of the village thought she was strange for only wanting to have sex with men.

The group moved on.

"That reminds me." Dagut said. "We're on kid duty tomorrow."

Spia’s face lit up with happiness. Kid duty was always his favorite day of the week.

The second half of the walk to the river was uneventful. Spia became more aware of just how dirty his hands were the closer they got.

Hudin took off her clothes immediately upon getting to the river bank. Spia thought nothing of it, as he did the same.

|

"Can we get some black bars on the window?" Tex asked in a tone less nervous than he felt.

"No." Dr. Lofgren replied. "Be big boy."

|

"You guys ready?" Hudin asked as she jumped in the water.

"Sure." Dagut replied. "I can't get horny anymore, but I'll watch."

Bathing in the river was one of Spia's favorite parts of the day. He especially enjoyed their cultural tradition of taking turns washing each other's hair and giving each other oral sex.

'This sure is neat.' Spia thought to himself as his hair was washed and he was given oral sex.

|

"Ahh!" Tex yelped, shoving his face into his hands.

"Man, that's a lot of bisexuality." Barton noted.

"All ships are canon." said Tala.

"Skip it, please. " Tex begged.

Dr. Lofgren rolled her eyes but sped forward a few minutes.

At the very least, Tex had learned that his penis would be bigger than Junji's, had Junji been in possession of one.

|

Spia had just put his loincloth back on when he noticed a Guineafowl drinking from the other side of the river.

Hudin was still getting ready. Without thinking, Spia grabbed Hudin’s slingshot and fired a rock at the bird.

He missed by several feet. It wasn’t a surprise, considering he had no training with ranged weapons.

“Give me that.” Hudin scolded before grabbing her slingshot back.

"We should take the short way back." Dagut said as she grabbed the leftover soap. "I don't want to be late for sanctuary."

The short way home was a little less populated and a little more dangerous, but they'd be fine, given that they were a group of four.

"Oh, that's a corpse." Raif announced.

With reluctant eyes, Spia followed Raif's finger to see the mangled dead body of a male. The body was clutching a chunk of bird meat, so it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.

Spia was just thankful it was no one he knew.

"Maybe he just killed himself." said Hudin.

"That's dark." Dagut replied.

Spia touched his chin with thought. He supposed it was physically possible for someone to murder themself, but he'd never had the thought before.

It was a dark thought. He made a note to talk to his psychologist about it.

"Another person has died eating alone." Raif said dryly. "If only this could have been avoided."

Spia felt his face turn white.

"Don't start." he snapped.

"But--"

"Don't start."

Both Hudin and Dagut looked uncomfortable by how heated things had gotten. With a sigh, Spia did his best to soften his face.

|

"Ok, what's going on?" asked Tala.

Dr. Lofgren looked back at her clipboard.

"Eating in front of others is thought to be shameful act that will lead to violence and cannibalism." she explained.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Barton replied.

"Why do they think that?" Tex wondered.

Dr. Logren pulled a twenty-sided die out of her pocket. In a sweep of her hand, she rolled it across the ground.

"...Point taken." followed Tex.

Tex looked back at the screen. He was just thankful that modern humans weren't so militant about applying shame to such basic things.

|

"Let's stop for a moment here." Raif said. "I have to pee."

They made their way over to a tree. While Dagut and Hudin kept watch on either side of Raif, Spia made eye contact with Raif so he would feel safe while he urinated.

"Have you seen any cool bugs lately?" Spia asked, bored.

|

"Ah!" Tex yelped.

"What?" Junji wondered.

"You're peeing!"

Junji rolled his eyes.

"Americans." he huffed.

To Tex's surprise, he was the only one flipping out.

"I don't get why you think it's such a big deal." said Tala.

"The hell?" Tex spat. "How can y'all not think it's a big deal?"

"I mean, it's kind of weird, but only because we made it weird in the first place."

"It ain't natural. "

|

"Hang on." Dagut said. "I need to take a dump."

|

"Ahh!" Tex shouted, cursing himself for ever uncovering his eyes.

"Coward." Barton muttered.

"Skip it! Please!"

"Fine. " Dr. Lofgren replied.

Dr. Lofgren pressed her skip button for several seconds. When she released it, everyone was back in town.

|

They made it back to their village with a few minutes to spare. Spia winced to see the main path was blocked by two strangers in the middle of an animated argument.

"We should report the dead body." Dagut said quietly.

"I'll do it." Hudin replied. "He's my second cousin, so I know his family."

Hudin left their group, which meant there were even fewer people to separate Spia from the arguing pair.

"...how you can think that. " the male finished.

"I can kill thirty birds with thirty rocks and hunt a boar better than you. " the niht female replied. "You think my body can't handle a baby?"

While the male's face twisted with anger, Raif began to sidestep away.

"I'll see you at sanctuary, Spia." Raif muttered as he left.

"Traditions exist for a reason." the male spat at the female.

"And I suppose you think we should keep sacrificing lefties to the sun gods, do you?" she replied.

"Are you coming to sanctuary?" Dagut asked Spia.

"In a few minutes." he replied. "I need to...do some stuff."

Dagut flicked her brow up.

"You know where the food is." she muttered.

Spia turned his face away so she wouldn't see how red his face had gotten. He waited until no one he knew was around before grabbing some berries, roasted bird, and eggs from the food table and running off into the savanna. He found a spot behind a tree, with no one around for eight seventeenths of a kilometer.

Discussions of eating tended to make everyone uncomfortable, but Spia knew he was a special case.

It had started with a fascination a few years after his subconscious had come to understand that it was a taboo. He wasn't sure if it was learned or if it was a pre-existing condition, but the thought of eating in front of another person got him off more than anything else he could think of.

He'd never indulged himself in the thought, as he was too ashamed. But he knew it was there, just as he knew that he could never, ever, ever tell anyone. Because if he did, no one would love him anymore.

He didn't think too hard about it. The thought only came up when he ate, and he always managed to push it down.

Spia retreated to the outdoor auditorium where sanctuary was held once he’d finished. Everyone had already started with the meditation session, so it was easy to sneak in and sit down in the spot Raif had saved for him.

The back of the auditorium had been painted with the phrase It is unwise to love a man before there is hair on his chin.

"You may notice that you apply negative or positive value to each of your thoughts as you have them." said the female leading the meditation, a cchit elder. "Do your best to ignore these value placements, and simply observe each thought as an inherent neutrality."

Spia let his eyes fall closed out of habit. It wasn't hard for him to fall into a meditative state, even with the occasional sound of people breaking down sobbing as they confronted their inner demons.

'This sure makes my life better.' Spia thought to himself.

The meditation session came to an end when the elder played a note from her flute.

"Thank you all for joining me today." she said.

"Thank you, Gengar!" someone called.

Several people laughed. Gengar chuckled along with them.

"We gather today to discuss the teachings of Mu, the goddess of wisdom." followed Gengar.

Gengar put her flute down before she continued. Spia felt a rush of anticipation, as learning new things always made him feel more whole.

"Mu taught us of three spirits that make our world and all we can see." she explained.

|

"God, what’s this crap?” asked Barton.

|

"First, the spirit of length." Gengar continued.

Gengar touched the tips of her fingers together and moved them to either side of her face.

"Then, the spirit of height."

Gengar touched her finger tips together once again, but this time, she moved them away from each other on a vertical axis.

"And finally, the spirit of width."

After making her final finger touch, Gengar moved one finger behind herself and the other in front.

|

"Oh, this is okay I guess." Barton mumbled.

|

Spia reached his hands out and examined them with new understanding. He'd learned of the three spirits from Hudin years before, but he was always happy to be reminded.

"Mu also taught that there might be other spirits, ones that we can't see with our limitations as creatures of only three spirits." Gengar explained.

Spia's head spun as he tried to imagine a world with a forth spirit. He could understand the general concept, but he found himself getting stuck trying to imagine what it might look like.

|

"Never mind, I was right the first time." Barton followed.

|

After their celebration of Mu came a debate of intelligent design versus non-intelligent design. They broke into two groups and took turns forming circles around each other, with the inner circle having the discussion and the outer circle observing.

|

"I thought fishbowl seminars were invented by the Greeks." said Tex.

Dr. Lofgren replied by laughing so hard that she had to wipe her eyes.

|

"...have to be a god." a male finished. "What else could have made us?"

"Even if we were made by a god, god had to have been created by something. And somewhere along that line, something had to have not been intelligent-design." Hudin argued.

|

"Man, imagine if these people knew how to grow food." Tala said.

|

After the debate, a male elder announced the names of the three adolescents who would be having their coming of age ceremony in just a few days. Spia applauded along with everyone else.

Coming of age ceremonies happened for females at their first menstrual cycle, and for males at their first public erection. The ceremony consisted of being given a bunch of mushrooms.

Spia was just about to reunite with his friends when he noticed a group of three cciht females, all giving him a side eye.

He turned to them to get a closer look. Two of the females met his gaze, but the one in the center dropped her eyes to the ground.

He recognized their faces, but he didn't know their names.

"Go." one of the females whispered to the one in the middle. "Ask him."

The middle female's attention stayed on the ground as she took a few steps towards him.

"Hello." Spia greeted. "Can I help you with something?"

"Is this a bad time?" the female asked. "If this is a bad time, I won't bother you."

"No, this is fine."

"Oh..."

The female looked like she'd been wishing it was a bad time.

"I want to have a baby." she said. "And I was hoping--you could father the child."

Spia raised both his eyebrows.

"Making a baby is a big responsibility." said Spia.

"I'm prepared."

"You're prepared to take care of it for a full four years? That’s a long time.”

"Yes."

Having gotten all the information he needed, it wasn't hard for Spia to make his decision.

"Alright, then." he replied.

"Really?"

"Sure. Why not?”

"Thank you!"

She wasn't particularly attractive, but getting to put his penis into something that wasn't an asshole or actively bleeding was always nice.

"No problem." Spia replied.

"I start ovulating in three days."

“Sure. And call me when the baby's going to be born. I can be there with you, if you want."

“That’s so kind. I’m sure your energy will make a great half for our child.”

|

“Hah, spiritual dumbasses don’t know what genes are.” Barton grunted.

“Do you know how genes work?” Tala wondered.

“Ugh, what does it matter?”

|

The female retreated to her friends with a smile and a few tears of joy. Spia was always happy to be a father again.

He found Hudin, Raif, and Dagut on the other side of the auditorium. It was getting dark, so Spia was glad he’d eaten when he did.

"Where were you?" Hudin asked as they helped tidy the area.

"I'm going to be a dad." answered Spia.

"Who asked?"

"Don't know."

"Was it a cchit?"

Spia looked over at Hudin's face to see it was just as judgmental as her tone.

let out a quick scoff.

"You know what?" Spia replied. "I don't think that matters."

"Really?" asked Hudin. "Because it does matter."

"Why are you so hung up on this, anyway?"

"It's just science. Are you denying that cciht women have wider hips? You can't deny that. It's their definitive feature."

"No, but--"

"Some types of people are better at some things. Males are better at lifting things and identifying colors by sense of smell. Niht are better at acrobatics and using ranged weapons. Cchit are better at giving birth and making blood sacrifices. These are facts that science has proven."

"I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm just saying, if niht wants to have a baby, and a cchit doesn't, what's the big deal? It's not like the world is going to end."

"Cciht women can push out babies with low death rates. Niht women are actually going to die if they try to have kids. That's not fair to their babies."

Spia frowned. He understood that Hudin came from a family of traditionalists, but he didn't understand why she always had to be so conservative.

"Raif, back me up here." he pleaded.

"No." Raif replied.

"Alright."

"Let's say you wanted to have a baby." Hudin continued as she pointed at Spia. "Should you get to have one just because you want to? Do you want to push a baby out your dick hole, Spia?"

Whatever reply Spia was planning on making was interrupted when another group of people approached them.

"Hello!" the male in the lead greeted.

Spia bent his right arm, extended his left, and dipped his head into his bent arm. The newcomers returned the greeting.

"Did you want to ask us something?" he wondered.

"Yeah, actually." a male replied. "We're having a sex pit next to the artifact hut, and we were wondering if any of you want to join."

"I could go for a sex pit."

"Me too." said Hudin. "Although I'm ovulating, so I can only do anal."

|

"God, that's so relatable." Tala muttered.

|

"That's fine." the man replied.

"Oh, but I don't have a towel. I should get some first."

"I'll go with you." Dagut said to Hudin. "I want to grab some water."

Spia's group was halved as Dagut and Hudin left for the fabric weavers.

Hudin was always excited to join a sex pit. So was Spia, but like all males, his lust could never match that of a female's.

One of the other members of the new group drifted her eyes towards Raif.

"Are you bringing...him?" she asked Spia.

"Yes, I am." Spia replied with an irritated flick of his eyebrows.

"Well, at least he's handsome."

The group took off towards the artifact hut. Spia turned to Raif instead of following them right away.

"Are you up for a sex pit?" he asked Raif.

"I don't feel welcome." Raif muttered.

"Hudin and I can get you in a four-way."

"...Fine."

They began to make their way over to the artifact hut. It wasn't a long walk, but it was long enough for Spia to start up a conversation.

"How come you didn't support me back there?" Spia wondered as he grabbed Raif’s hand and fitted it in his own.

"About pregnancy rights?"

"Yeah."

"Because you two are both equally ridiculous."

Spia looked over at Raif's face to see no indication that he was joking.

"We all argue day in and out over if niht should have children and if cchit should be able to opt out," Raif continued, "but no one ever seems to consider that these are categories we've manufactured."

Spia couldn't believe what he was hearing. Everyone knew that there were three squibders. Just like everyone knew that hitting children wasn't worth its effectiveness as a short-term solution because it made for emotionally-unstable adults, and that it took twenty-four hours for the sun to go around the earth.

"You can't just say something like that." Spia replied.

"I can say whatever I want."

"Okay, but you can't say something like that without backing it up."

Raif let out a sigh of comical exasperation.

"Some females have bigger hips than others." Spia followed. "Half of females weigh more than 69.69 kilograms, and half weigh less. How can you argue with that?"

"We will say there is a spectrum of females from heaviest to lightest." Raif replied. "And on another axis, a spectrum of how much they want a baby, and then a third axis for a spectrum of how well they could deliver said baby. No matter what correlations you might find, there are no definitive lines to draw."

"Yes there is. In the middle."

"Why not in thirds?"

Spia blinked.

"Why don't we divide males on either side of 84.20 kilograms?" followed Raif.

At first, Spia found himself unable to think of a response. But then, an argument that had originally been Raif’s came to him.

"I get what you're saying." Spia said slowly.

"But?"

"But we're natural. So even if we make something, isn't that thing still natural?"

Raif rubbed his chin.

"That's a good argument..." he muttered.

|

"No it’s not." said Junji.

|

Arguing with Raif was one of Spia's favorite activities. The only thing he might have enjoyed more was sleeping, as it meant he got to wake up to another day of living in a group of people willingly supporting one another with their work and helping each other to create a better community and having a political system simple enough that he could understand and observe its inner-workings, as was the human condition.

They arrived at the artifact hut in less than a minute. But to Spia's surprise, there was no orgy in sight. Instead, a group of seven spoke to each other in hushed voices.

"Something's wrong." Raif whispered.

Spia walked with Raif to the group. They all looked over when Spia cleared his throat.

"What's going on?" he wondered.

Out of the seven people, Spia knew most of them, but not by name.

"Someone died." a niht female explained.

"What happened?" asked Spia.

"Apparently they got mauled while they were eating dinner."

"Are you talking about the male who we found? Hudin's cousin?"

"No, this one was a female."

"Oof, that's two in one day."

Spia felt Raif tense beside him. In horror, Spia looked at Raif's face to see the expression of a man who'd received his final straw.

"So, are we overturning this regulation?" Raif asked.

Independently of each other, each group member turned their eyes towards Raif.

"Excuse me?" the female replied.

"Raif, don't do this." Spia pleaded.

"Half of our dead were killed while eating." Raif continued. "We are humans, we are not meant to do things alone."

One of the males burst into tears.

|

"God, these people cry a lot." said Barton.

|

"She was my sister." the male replied through his tears. "How dare you turn this into an outlet for your--cannibalistic cause."

"What does anything I'm saying have to do with violence? How brainwashed are you that you see a connection?"

Spia had known Raif his whole life. He’d never seen Raif so angry.

"Stop." Spia pushed. "Please."

One of the males lifted a sharp rock from the ground. Spia felt the color drain from his face.

"Don't hurt him." Spia followed. "You don't understand him."

A female reached for her slingshot and another male grabbed his spear from his back. Spia hadn't seen such a look in a group of people's eyes in decades, but he still managed to recognize it meant someone had to go.

"You know, I think you've been a nuisance to us for long enough." the male with the rock said. "I can handle transgression, but not when it's at the cost of humanity."

"Castrate him." one of the others suggested.

"He doesn't deserve it. I'm going to kill him."

"You can do two things."

|

"Damn, humans used to be so violent." said Tala. "Now we just retweet lies about people on Twitter until they want to kill themselves."

|

"You're insane!" Spia shouted. "You don't need to do this."

Spia hadn't realized it, but he and Raif were slowly being backed into the side of the artifact hut. As soon as Spia's back hit the wall, a spear was shoved in his face.

"Are you really going to defend a predator?" the male with a spear asked him. "Do the right thing and stand down."

It was a horrible choice to make, between the two of them both meeting their fate or just one of them. But in the end, it was the thought of defending something that made him so ashamed that caused Spia to let go of Raif's hand and step away.

"That's fine." Raif spat. "I'll do it without you."

|

It was at that moment that Tex finally understood why there had been a red dot and bad reviews in Dr. Lofgren's theater.

|

"You're not going to be doing much--"

The second before Spia could even close his eyes, a small pebble sailed through the air and hit the male with the spear in the forehead.

His brow tensed with confusion.

"...Huh?" he asked as he looked up at the empty sky.

"Oh, sorry." said a familiar voice. "Were you busy?"

Spia looked over his shoulder to see Dagut walking towards them with a dead eyes.

At the sight of an elder, everyone disengaged their weapons.

"Yeah, we were." the male replied. "We have a guy here wondering why we shouldn't just kill each other for food."

"You mean the eating thing?" asked Dagut. "Please. You don't know this man at all."

"Are you defending him?"

"At least he's speaking for what he believes in."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Someone has to go, so you snap at the first person who steps out of line. I get it. You're like teenagers, purging whoever you can to make sure it isn’t you."

The male who'd picked up a rock tossed it back on the ground, harder than he needed to.

"What do you suggest we do with him?" the female with the slingshot asked.

"We answer his questions." Dagut replied.

The group looked stunned, but they still complied when Dagut maneuvered them into a semi-circle and had them all sit down.

"Weapons over there." she ordered. "Thank you."

Everyone left their weapons in a little pile. Spia sat down too, although it was more because he no longer felt able to support himself.

"What would you like to ask me?" Dagut said to Raif.

Raif glanced at each member of the group who'd tried to kill him before looking back at Dagut.

"I don't understand why we torture ourselves like this, and why we continue to do so when it brings about so much death." he answered, the words slow.

"We understand that people die. But we believe that when an action brings about more good than bad, that action is justified. We consider the prevention of perverted cultures to be of more good than the death toll is bad."

"I suppose that makes sense. But I simply can't comprehend why we believe public eating will lead to perversion."

"For the same reason we believe walking leads to moving.” the female who’d had a slingshot spat. “What kind of response is that?"

Dagut put her hand up.

“Our ancient legends tell of several societies where public eating was not only encouraged, but mandatory." she explained.

"What of it?"

"In these societies, it was acceptable to cannibalize children in an attempt to add their energy to your ‘life force’.”

Raif opened his mouth but quickly closed it.

"Public eating was already considered mildly rude in our culture, and we had no cannibalism." Dagut continued. "That's how we made the connection, and why we started to increase social pressure."

“Couldn’t that just be a coincidence?”

"It could be. But we haven't done it in front of each other for thousands of years, and have no idea what will happen."

“What if we did a trial?”

“Are you willing to take that risk?”

Their conversation continued, but Spia found himself too ashamed to pay attention.

He didn't realize he'd snapped into a trance until everyone was gone but Raif, who was standing over him.

"...hear me?" Raif finished.

"I'm sorry." Spia said immediately.

Out of all the emotions Spia was expecting to see in Raif's eyes, surprise was low on the list.

"It's alright." Raif replied.

"It's really not."

"But it is. I wouldn't ask you to sacrifice yourself just so we could both die."

Spia wiped his face of tears he hadn't even noticed were there. He had no desire to explain to Raif that it was more complicated on his end.

He also couldn't help but feel that Raif might have been angrier if he'd had a higher opinion of himself.

"I need to go on a walk." he said as he stood.

"Please come back soon. I don't want to sleep alone."

Spia mumbled in agreement as he got up.

He didn't stop walking until he was a good ways out of the village. With every step, he wondered how he was supposed to live with himself after--

Spia turned his head towards a rustling in the grass next to him. It was dark, but he could still make out the giant spotted cat as it lunged towards him.

"Oh, sp--" he managed.

|

The simulation ended.

"Wow." Barton said with a nod. "I can't believe I could've sucked so much."

"Would you like to see another simulation?" asked Dr. Lofgren.

"Uh, um." Tex stammered.

"I mean, what else are we going to do?" Tala replied.

"I would be interested." Junji stated.

Dr. Lofgren clicked a button on her remote. The savanna was replaced by a more puritanical setting before Tex could even begin to process what had just happened.

"Medieval people are just as dumb as hunter gatherers," Dr Lofgren explained, "except their knowledge is destroyed by random king every two hundred years and they live under circumstances they were not evolved for."

The focus was still on the four of them. Besides their new clothing, their complexions had lightened significantly. And although their faces were still recognizable, their features had been shifted into something more northern European.

They appeared to be stoning an unwed pregnant woman. Tex might have noticed, had he not mentally checked himself out.

"Ha, olden times people were so stupid." Barton laughed as she pointed her finger.

"Just olden times people, huh?" asked Tala.

"Yeah. People were all batshit until about sixty years ago. Now they're alright."

Dr. Lofgren pressed a button on her remote. The screen shifted to show a scene of a modern protest.

|

“What do you mean when you say war is gay?” the interviewer asked twentieth century Barton at the protest rally.

“I mean war’s fucking gay." twentieth century Barton replied. "What else would it mean?”

|

"Lame." said Barton.

Dr. Lofgren pressed another button.

|

“So you’re in support of Eugenics, because you believe that Kyrgyz people are the most superior race?” Joe Rogan asked.

“Yes.” replied Junji.

“That’s a...unique choice.”

|

"I've always wanted to meet with the great negotiator." Junji muttered fondly.

|

"Hitler brings up some good points, actually. I do need someone to blame for our economy." German Tala noted to her friend.

|

“This isn’t so bad.” Tala shrugged.

|

“What was that?” her friend asked. “Sorry, I’m on the phone.”

“God, you and phones.” Tala replied with a scoff. “Remember when we used to talk face to face?”

|

While Tala screamed, Dr. Lofgren changed the scene once again.

“You know, watching Dallas kill a Japanese version of himself in World War II brings up a good point.” said Barton. “I’m not sure what it is, but it’s there.”

Junji turned to Dr. Lofgren.

“I must ask.” he said to her. “Which one of us has owned the most slaves?”

Dr. Lofgren pressed a button that displayed what looked like statistics across the screen, although they were all in Swedish.

“I would have to run more simulations for better answer,” she started, “but so far, Ms. Locklear has--”

“I’m number one!” Tala shouted.

“Good for you.” Barton replied.

“Are you proud of me Tex?”

Tex said nothing.

“Tex?” followed Tala.

“W--huh?” Tex asked.

Tex looked over to see that Tala was eyeing him with expectation.

“What’s up your ass?” Barton wondered. “You haven’t said a word.”

"I'm gonna--go to the bathroom." Tex replied before immediately taking off too quickly to gauge anyone's reaction.

The bathrooms weren't hard to find. Instead of going in, Tex sat down on the floor and put his back to the wall.

The bizarre ideologies of the people in the simulation had been nothing to compare to the way Tex felt about witnessing his own personal failings. He sat in a trance of disbelief for about five minutes before a pair of shoes pattering against the floor made him look up.

It was Junji. Tex looked at his shoes.

"Are you alright?" asked Junji.

When Tex replied, he found he was only able to speak through his teeth.

"No, I'm not alright." Tex answered.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I betrayed you is what's wrong."

Junji seemed surprised by the intensity of Tex's response.

“Which time?” Junji asked.

“Huh?”

“The time in Berlin? Or the time in--”

“The time we were cavemen.”

Junji’s formed into an ‘oh’ shape.

"I did not interpret it that way." Junji stated.

"Yeah, I got that from the...other you."

"No, I meant that I did not interpret those people as us."

Tex finally managed to look Junji in the eyes, but not for long.

"...You didn't?" he asked.

"That man had a different upbringing than you. Vastly different ideologies."

"He had my blood. That's what matters."

"If you are truly going to stick by that opinion, you might have committed every sin imaginable in that machine."

Tex stared.

"And so might have I." followed Junji.

"I just--I don't feel good about this."

Junji sighed.

"I am going to come over the next night we both have off, and we are going to watch a movie." he said. "I do not, nor will I ever, think less of you because of what I saw today."

Tex said nothing. Junji gave him one last look before retreating back to the others.

All things considered, Junji had made some good arguments. Still, Tex liked himself just a little less from that day forth.