"My back hurts." Tala announced.

Tex turned his attention to the stream of coffee that poured into his cup and got ready to keep it there for a while.

"Tex, come rub my back." Tala followed.

"No." Tex replied.

"Why not?"

"You always make it weird."

"I won't make it weird this time."

"Rub your own back."

"I promise I won't make it weird."

With a little groan of defeat, Tex took his finished cup of coffee over to the table and placed it next to Tala. Tala leaned forward in her chair to give Tex better access to her back.

"Ahhh! Ohhh!" Tala started to moan as soon as Tex's hands had touched her.

"I'm done."

"What'd I do? What'd I do?"

"You're not gonna rub her back?" Barton asked from behind her paper. "Rude."

"Don't help her." Tex replied with a jab of his finger.

The door to the office clicked closed as Junji returned from the bathroom.

"Junji." Tala ordered before he could sit down. "Rub my back."

Tex instinctually stepped out of the way as Junji walked over. Before Tex could decide whether or not to talk Junji out of it, Junji had placed both hands on Tala's shoulders.

"Thank you." followed Tala.

"How come you don't get all weird when he does it?" Tex asked.

Tala didn't answer.

Junji pulled Tala up by the shoulders, elevating her body a few inches in her chair and causing her back to crack in about seventeen different ways.

"Hey, you're good at this." said Tala.

"Sounded like Chicago after nine pm." Barton replied. "Can you do it to me?"

Junji walked over to Barton's chair and lifted her body in a similar fashion. The sound of Barton's back cracking was about twice as loud as Tala's had been.

"Damn, that felt good." Barton said once he'd finished. "I'll make sure to fuck up my back for tomorrow so you can do it again."

"Ugh." Tex groaned.

After shooting a glance at Tex, Tala looked back down at her laptop screen with eyes of silent judgement.

"What?" asked Tex.

"You sound stressed." Tala replied. "Maybe someone should look at your back."

"Great, let's all just touch each other."

No one replied. Tala continued to stare at her computer screen with a I'm not going to say anything look on her face.

"Damn it." Tex followed, wanting to break the silence. "Why are we here, anyway?"

"Because you called a meeting." answered Barton.

"Oh, I did do that."

"Why did you call a meeting?" Tala asked. "You never told us."

It was only because he couldn't think of a lie that Tex decided to tell the truth.

"I'm bored." he replied.

Tex looked down when Tala and Barton turned towards him with looks of disbelief.

"Really? That's it?" asked Tala.

"And during breakfast, too." Barton added. "I'm having to eat my glass of scotch and Cuban cigar in the meeting room."

"Look, I'm sorry." Tex replied. "It's been five days since Portland and pork and potatoes just don't taste the same when I ain't earned them."

"So what? What are we supposed to do about it?"

Junji cleared his throat.

"May I see the Pain Finder Thing?" he asked.

Tala shrugged and pulled the box from her bag. Junji took it when it was handed to him.

"Thank you." said Junji.

"What are you doing?" Barton asked.

"If no one is tetragramming, why don't we investigate the next worst thing? Here, there's a dark red dot in Los Angeles."

"Oh, that's just Jake Paul's house." Tex replied.

"How about this one? In Colorado?"

Tex followed Junji's finger to see a small red dot, about the size of a KFC slaughterhouse and a stubbed toe. Junji pinched the screen until it brought up an address.

"One three three seven one West Alameda Parkway, Lakewood Colorado." Tala read over his shoulder. "I'll look it up."

Tala pulled up an address on Google Earth. Tex examined it to see a small white building with the Staff of Hermes painted on the side.

"What's it called?" he asked.

"Uh, Saint Anthony's Clinic and Hospital." answered Tala.

"I know that hospital." Barton said. "It's a private hospital."

"Guess that explains why it's so small." Tex replied.

Nothing seemed particularly suspicious about the clinic. It was clean and modern and Tex could see a few other businesses poking in from the sides.

"How are the reviews?" asked Tex.

Tala clicked around to find that the clinic had an average rating of four out of five stars.

"That's pretty good." Barton muttered.

Tex took another look at the Pain Finder Thing to see that the red dot hadn't changed size at all. He knew they should probably monitor it for longer, but he was feeling impatient.

"Guess we're going to Colorado." Tex said with a snap of his fingers. "That alright with everybody?"

It did end up being alright with everyone, considering Colorado wasn't a big commitment and the cost of the train ride was easily covered by the money they'd made pawning the silver plates from the Portland salmon platter. Tex found himself at the train station in minutes.

Even though he wasn't planning on killing anyone, he still brought his gun.

After the train departed, it was only about a ten minute ride to Colorado and a fifteen minute bus ride to Lakewood. Tex sat next to Tala while she silently read from her phone with eyes of excitement.

"Whatcha reading?" Tex asked as he pinged the bus for their stop.

"One Direction breaking and entering X Reader." she replied.

"Uh, alright."

The hospital was only a three minute walk away once they'd gotten off the bus.

The first thing Tex noticed was the long driveway, lined with trees and tidy green bushes. It led into a small parking lot and stopped with a couple of bollard poles to keep cars away from the smooth walkway up the building. On the far side of the building was the start of a foresty-looking park, and a few tree branches touched the roof.

Tex quickly noted that the building didn't look any more suspicious in person. Still, he was cautious as he followed Tala to the front door.

The door was made of glass, which allowed Tex to look inside. All he could see was an unattended desk covered in semi-organized files and a tiny flag pole that held up the Antederate flag.

"Ain't seen one of them in a while." Tex muttered to Barton.

Tala pushed the front door open and jingled a little bell attached to the inside in the process.

"Just a minute!" a man's voice called from an unseen room.

Tex stepped inside after Tala.

"What's our cover?" Tex asked everyone, barely above a mumble.

"Huh, what?" Barton replied.

Having given up, Tex turned his attention to a large bookshelf on the right side of the room. He found it was filled with a wide variety of novels, including Harry Potter, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Catcher in the Rye, and If Democrats had Brains They'd Be Republicans.

Tex wondered what kind of people they were.

"Hello!" the same voice greeted.

A moment later, three men stepped into view. Tex unconsciously held his breath as he got a good look at them.

The three of them had different faces, as different people tended to have, but they were all equipped with the same square head shape and a jaw so warped with testosterone that their faces barely had room for their mouths. Their builds were strong and stocky, and the extra weight they carried was clearly the result of a meat-heavy diet, rather than a lack of exercise.

The man in front was wearing an olive green newsboy cap.

"Hello." said Tala.

"I'm Kenny." the man in the hat greeted. "It's good to meet you."

Kenny stepped forward with his hand out. Tex met his hand in the middle for a satisfyingly firm hand shake. Kenny then moved seamlessly onto Tala and Barton, but faltered for a moment when Junji bowed slightly into the handshake.

All three of the mystery men's faces lit up with excitement.

"I'm Miguel." the next man said with a smile. "And he's--"

"I'm Roger."

Miguel and Roger gave their round of greetings, with both of them choosing to bow back to Junji. Kenny then introduced himself again, just so that he could also bow to Junji.

"What can we help you with?" Kenny asked.

Miguel and Roger waved when Tex looked over.

"We're, uh, journalists." said Tala. "For the--"

"Wall Street." Barton cut in.

"Oh, we love Wall Street." Roger replied.

"We're journalists." Tex said as he pointed to himself and Tala before gesturing to Barton and Junji. "She's our photographer and he's our--translator."

Barton took out her phone and snapped a photo of the ground.

"Can we get you anything to eat?" Kenny asked. "Or drink? I got some barbecue earlier from my lunch break and I have some ribs in the fridge that I was gonna give to my wife but if you want them I can always get more before I get home."

"That's alright." answered Tex. "We're--"

"Not supposed to take food." Tala interrupted. "For ethics reasons."

"Really?" Kenny wondered. "What ethics reason is that?"

"It's considered a form of bribery."

Kenny's eyebrows shot straight up as his smile dropped from his face. Miguel and Roger exchanged a glance of shock.

"You could write about how we're the worst people to've lived and we wouldn't regret having made sure you were fed." said Kenny. "Any man who wouldn't is one I wouldn't want to meet."

"Oh--"

"But I understand if rules is rules. Sorry, I just got a little shook up there for a second. I'm guessing you wanna get started, then?"

"That'd be nice."

"I'll give you the rundown."

While Kenny picked up a clipboard from the front desk and set it back down, Tex found himself intimidated by how happy Miguel and Roger seemed to be to meet them.

"So I'm in charge, and they're our nurse practitioners." Kenny explained, gesturing first to himself and then to Miguel and Roger. "Noah was supposed to be manning reception but he's still on his way from helping some old lady push her car to the gas station."

"You don't got any surgeons?" Tex asked.

"We hire privately contracting surgeons and physicians when we need to. But all our patients are currently in constant states, so lately, we've just been needing to make sure they get fed and stuff."

Tala nudged Tex's shoulder. Tex quickly pulled out a pen and an old cupcake wrapper from his pocket and pretended to write Kenny's words down while Kenny began to walk towards the door he'd originally appeared from.

When he arrived, he opened it to reveal a room that was mostly out of Tex's view.

"This here..." Kenny said as he motioned for them to follow, "is the ward."

"Can we go in?" asked Tala.

"Yeah, you won't catch anything."

"And everyone's usually dying for company." Miguel added.

Tex walked into the room after Tala and before Barton. The room was small and warmly lit, so it was easy to look around.

Three cots were spaced out between pieces of cloth that hung from the ceiling and looked like they could be pulled out into dividers. On the bed in the middle, a young boy and girl who both looked to be about seven years old, sat playing Mario Kart on a projector screen against the other wall.

The second Tex had come into view, both children stopped playing and ran over to him and Tala, and then over to Junji and Barton when they'd entered.

"This is Emily and Carson." Kenny explained as Miguel and Roger joined them.

"Hello." Emily and Carson both greeted, about a second out of sync from each other.

The children both had blank expressions on their faces. They didn't look happy, but they didn't seem to be in horrible pain.

"Hi." Tex replied.

"We have cancer." Emily replied.

"...Oh."

"The doctors say that it's curable but they don't know for sure."

Tex might have replied, had he not noticed out of the corner of his eye that the third cot wasn't empty like he'd first assumed it was. It was hard to tell because of all the blanket lumps, but Tex could make out a woman's face at the top of the cot.

"That's Dana." said Kenny. "She's been in a coma for about a year."

"Will she ever come out?" Tala asked.

"Probably not. She scored pretty low on the Glasgow."

Tex knew what he needed to ask, although he wasn't sure how to phrase the question without coming across as offensive.

"I'd want my head blown off if that were me." Barton said before Tex could open his mouth. "Why haven't you pulled the plug?"

Along with Roger and Miguel, Kenny let out a happy chuckle.

"Well," Kenny started, "the thing is..."

He trailed off as a jingle rang out. Tex managed to recognize the sound as the bell inside the front door to the building.

Roger stepped out of the room. Tex could hear a few greetings start to get swapped, although not clearly enough to make out any words.

A moment later, Roger popped back into view.

"Dana's parents are here." he said.

Kenny winced. When Roger walked back into the ward, he was followed by two new people.

They were a man and a woman, both in their late forties or early fifties and clearly married. The man was dressed in khaki pants and a sweater vest, while the woman wore a blouse and a floor length skirt.

The wife was holding a book. Tex recognized it as My Body My Blood, but only because he remembered Marta writing it.

Barton made a face of disgust.

"Hello!" the husband greeted.

"Uh, howdy." Tex replied.

"I haven't seen you before."

"We're with the--"

"They're with the Wall Street Journal." Roger cut in.

"Oooh, you're from Texas, aren't you?" the wife asked as she turned to Tex.

"Yes, ma'am."

The woman chuckled happily, but Kenny cleared his throat before she could say anything else.

"We were actually all about to take the kids for a walk." said Kenny.

"Alright, we won't keep you, then." she replied.

"We'll be back in twenty or so."

Tex followed next to Barton as they were ushered out the ward and then out of the building. He looked over to see her expression was still pained.

“Not a fan of Jesus?” he muttered to her, already knowing the answer.

“Jesus was a commie.” Barton replied.

After making it to the parking lot, Kenny led them all down to a little dirt path behind the clinic that disappeared into the park.

"Sorry, we wanted to get you away from the wack jobs." Kenny explained to Tex.

"They were--fine." Tex stammered.

Roger lifted both the kids over his shoulders, much to their delight.

"I know that you're way out of my league but I'm gonna hit on you anyway." he said to Tala as the two of them lagged behind.

"Ooh." Tala replied, clearly interested.

Junji stood next to Tex, although he didn't look too compelled to talk to anyone.

"They're nice enough." Miguel said to Tex. "We just don't wanna expose the kids to them, you know?"

"We do what they ask by keeping her daughter alive." Kenny added. "It's not that we're trying to knock anyone's beliefs."

"Yeah, we like everyone."

"Everyone?" asked Barton.

If someone had asked Tex what his favorite word was at that very moment, he would not have been able to answer them.

"Yeah, everyone." Miguel answered. "Except for libcucks."

It someone had asked Tex what his favorite word was at that very moment, he would have easily been able to answer them.

"To be fair. There's a big difference between a liberal and a libcuck." Miguel explained as he gestured with his hands.

"Oh. Tex replied. "What's the--"

"The difference is that a liberal genuinely believes in economic policies that don't create any incentive for people to improve society, while a libcuck calls me homophobic for saying that gay people should be treated the same as everybody else."

"I once had a surgeon calling me all sorts of stuff over how we don't have a gender neutral bathroom." said Kenny. "But I don't have a problem with gays. My uncles are gay, and they're pretty cool."

"That--"

"He ended up peeing in my grandma's empty jam-making jar. Both of the bathrooms are single stall, too, so we don't really pay attention to the signs."

"How's your grandma doing?" Miguel asked.

"She's doing great, actually. Her apricot jam won the preservatives festival last weekend, and she's spending the money on a new deck for the house. She--"

"She need any help building it?"

The forest was clean and the sun was out, even though it was winter. Tex breathed in the smell of mushrooms and dirt and wished that he lived closer to a park.

"So what do y'all do for fun?" Tex asked when Kenny and Miguel's conversation had tapered off.

"There's paintball," Kenny replied as he counted on his fingers, "fishing, book clubs, complaining about Californians--"

"Let's do that one." Barton cut in.

"You don't like Californians?"

"Hell no. The only thing I got in common with Californians is that we both support their secession."

Miguel and Kenny both let out a quick laugh.

"And for good reason." Miguel said. "I heard down in Cali now that the streets alternate from mansions to crack houses."

"Huh." Tex replied. "That's kinda like--"

"For a people who talk a big talk about caring about the poor, they sure love pricing out the locals." Kenny noted. "They--"

"Yeah, and at those big city schools they've started making quotas to fill on the number of black people they accept." Barton replied. "That's--"

"Jesus. So liberals aren't gonna let black people do anything for themselves--"

"Hell no. That's why I never take any of the jobs I apply for."

"Man, you should've been here the other day. Some big city kid called me a racist for saying affirmative action's going too far. I'm not racist. My uncle's black, and he's pretty cool."

"And now we got Californians claiming that it's not racist when M-STEM doesn't allow white kids to join." said Miguel. "And--"

"I actually don't mind that one so much." Tex interrupted.

Tex began to regret his words the moment they'd left his mouth, even before everyone turned to him and stared.

"That's alright." Kenny said happily. "Why do you think that?"

"I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say it ain't racist," Tex started, "but if there's a group of people who're underrepresented in the science department, and if they wanna make an organization for themselves to protect their image, I don't guess there's anything wrong with that. Long as it ain't gover--

"Oh. So you think there should be organizations that help people who didn't get a good science education in grade school?"

"Uh, that ain't really--"

"You know, I'm glad we had this talk. I might not agree with you, but I think it's talks like these that are gonna save America."

"...Alright."

As Kenny gave Tex what could only be described as a shoulder pat, Miguel squinted his eyes at Barton's face.

"Weren't you in some war?" he asked.

"All of them." Barton replied.

"Oh yeah, you're the lady that led the battle of the Dallas Fort Worth airport."

"Uhuh."

"Sorry I didn't recognize you earlier. I thought you were a man."

"That's fair."

Barton, Kenny, and Miguel fell into a conversation that was too aggressive to please Tex's ears. He ended up listening in on Tala and Roger's conversation.

"...divorced him for negging her too much." said Tala. "And then--"

"Do you mean nagging?" Roger cut in.

"No, negging."

"What's negging?"

"That's like when you try to get someone to sleep with you by wearing down their confidence. It's like a bar tactic."

Roger put his hand over his chest and inhaled in shock.

"What would somebody even gain from that?" he gasped.

"Wow, you’re really naive. Do you want to have sex?"

Tex stopped listening to Tala and Roger's conversation.

Junji hadn't said a word since they'd taken off. With everyone else occupied, Tex tapped Junji's shoulder and let the two of them lag behind, just a little.

"How you doing, Junji?" Tex asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I do not like the loud men." Junji answered, just as quietly.

"Alright."

Tex nearly flinched when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned his head over to see that Roger and Tala had caught up with him.

"Would you mind taking the kids for awhile?" asked Roger. "I think they wanna meet you guys."

Tex didn't mind taking the kids for a while, although the responsibility of handling two cancer patients by himself was a little daunting.

"Sure." he replied. "Just..."

Tex grabbed Junji and pulled him over before he could wander anywhere.

"Sure." Tex repeated.

"Alright, here you go."

Roger lifted the children from his back one at a time. Tex was handed Emily, while Junji was handed Carson.

"I'll, uh, be back for them in a few minutes." Roger added.

Upon leaving them, Roger lagged back behind with Tala.

Tex carefully set Emily down on the ground. Junji, however, continued to hold Carson outright with a pained expression.

"Why are you wincing?" Tex asked Junji.

"What if it urinates on me?" Junji replied.

"I'm seven." said Carter.

"When do children start going to the bathroom by themselves?"

"Can I go back on the ground?"

Junji sighed and discharged the child to the ground. Needing something to suck on, Tex pulled a cough drop from his pocket and popped it into his mouth.

He looked over at Emily when he noticed she was staring at him.

"Are you a cowboy?" she asked.

"I used to work on a ranch." Tex replied.

"Have you ridden a horse?"

"Yeah, lots of times."

"Do you have a gun?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have it with you?"

"...No."

Emily didn't seem convinced. Tex quickly turned his attention to Carter, who was talking to Junji.

"Are you from China?" Carter asked.

"No, I'm from Japan." answered Junji.

"What's the difference?"

"Japan is a nicer place to live."

"Why's it nicer?"

"The government is more active."

Tex hit himself in the chest a few times after unintentionally swallowing his cough drop whole.

"What's it like?" Carson pushed.

"Japan? It's like here, but with less people."

"Why are there less people?"

"The central banking cartel injured the economy and damned couples unable to afford children."

Tex's eyes widened in horror.

"Junji!" he hissed.

"What?" Junji replied.

"Don't say that."

Junji's face screwed up with confusion.

"Say what?" he asked. "Central?"

"No." Tex replied.

"Banking?"

"No."

"Cartel?"

"Damn. Don't swear in front of the kids."

For just a moment, Junji's face turned so pained it looked like he'd been kicked in the balls. After he'd composed himself, he dropped to his knees and looked both the children in their eyes.

"Like any language," Junji said to them slowly, "English is made up of different sounds that we've all agreed will represent different concepts and other such things."

"Uhuh." they replied.

"But some of these sounds are naughty no-no sounds because we've decided that they mean very rude things like 'feces' or 'sexual intercourse' or 'bad'."

Both Emily and Carter began to snicker.

"How does sex work?" Emily asked.

Tex threaded his fingers through his bangs and pulled.

"When humans reach adulthood, their genitals redesign themselves with nerve endings and their brains become interested in sex." Junji explained. "The most common form of sex is when a male takes his penis and puts it in a female's vagina and moves it like--"

Junji began to demonstrate with his hands.

"--so until he excretes a sample of his DNA through his penis. Because of the nerve endings, the act is very pleasurable for both parties and can make the female pregnant if the couple doesn't block the DNA sample." he finished.

"How would you block the DNA sample?" Carter asked.

"A thin silicone tube."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because people don't always want to make a baby every time they want to have sex."

"Have you had sex?" asked Emily.

"Yes."

"Have you ever had a baby?"

"No."

As Junji continued to answer the rest of Emily and Carter's questions, Tex stopped listening out of fear. Tala and Roger returned popped back into view behind him, both covered in leaves. He began to eavesdrop on their conversation once more in an attempt to distract himself.

"...more educated than I thought you'd be." Tala said to Roger. "And you've read every book?"

"Every one." Roger replied.

"Have you read Pride and Prejudice?"

"Course I have. Give me something harder."

"What about Moby Dick?"

"Yup. Even the gay parts."

"Have you read My Secret Garden?"

"Read and jerked off to it."

Tex didn't realize the path they'd been led down was a loop until the hospital made its way back into view. When the group clumped back together, Emily and Carter jumped back onto Roger's shoulders.

"How've you been?" Roger asked them.

"We learned about sex and how to say damn." Emily replied.

"Well, fuck. Good for you."

As they made their way back inside, Tex caught up to Miguel, Kenny, and Barton.

"...said I hated women just cause I didn't like her music." Kenny finished. "I don't hate women. My uncle's a woman, and he's pretty cool."

"To be fair, Yoko Ono is a good reason to hate women." Barton replied.

Tex frowned. He'd never figured out who Yoko Ono was, but people being mean to her made him sad.

They got back to the hospital's ward just as Dana's parents were making their departure. Tex nearly ran into them as he passed through the door frame.

"Oh, you're leaving?" he asked them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tex could see Dana in her bed at the end of the room. She was in the same position she had been, although she now had a bouquet of flowers resting on her chest.

"Yep!" the husband replied. "But we'll be back next week."

"Um, alright."

The husband walked on. Tex wasn't sure why, but it was at that moment that he realized who was in pain.

His heart started to pound uncomfortably against his rib cage. It only increased when the wife didn't follow her husband out the door.

"Before we leave." she said to Tala and Junji. "I want to thank you for doing a piece on this place. They've been so kind to us and our daughter, they deserve recognition for that."

"Oh." Junji replied. "We'll do our best."

The wife left with a smile. Tex felt a surge of preemptive guilt as she walked through the door.

"So did you get everything you needed?" asked Roger.

"Guess we did, yeah." Tex replied. "You gave a good rundown."

"No problem. It was fun."

It was clearly time to make their goodbyes. Tex stood by Miguel as Barton and Kenny said farewell and pretended not to notice Junji repeatedly tapping his wrist with pleading eyes.

"Thanks for having us." Tex said to Miguel.

"No problem!" Miguel replied with a smile. "Even if you write something horrible about us, I'm glad we got to meet."

"Although, fore we go. There's something I wanna ask you."

"What's that?"

"Y'all sure seem happy. What's your secret?"

Miguel let out a short laugh and looked up at the ceiling before answering. Finished with their goodbyes, Tala and Barton both made their way out of the building.

"You know, it's funny." he replied. "I didn't used to be so happy. But one day I realized that I was the master of my own mind, and the only thing preventing me from happiness was me."

"Huh, that--"

"The thing is, Americans are obsessed with pills and therapy for happiness. But happiness comes within. A pill's not gonna make you happy."

"I--"

"Not to say that pills are bad. I've read that they've helped a lot of people with schizophrenia and stuff."

Tex waited until Miguel's mouth was sewn closed before he gave talking another try.

"Seems like you've thought about this a lot." said Tex.

"Yup. I was once a TA for a psych professor in college. It's actually kind of an interesting story."

"Oh, uh--"

"It all started on a brisk September day. I came out of the library to see that..."

As Miguel launched into his tale that included several tangents into sub tales, Tex prayed to god that he was a good storyteller.

He wasn't.

"...so anyway, yeah." Miguel rambled. "That's why you should never get impaled in the head with a metal rod."

"I'll keep that in--"

"Actually, that reminds me of the time..."

Tex felt two arms lock around his chest. He could tell the arms were Junji's by the familiar snug white cloth of a long sleeve shirt around the forearms. Tex stopped listening to Miguel as Junji began to drag him by the shoulders to the front door, although he threw out a couple of 'uhuh's when Miguel took it upon himself to follow them.

"...was never interested in railroads that much, but I still have a few thoughts on them." Miguel finished, maybe.

"Uhuh."

"And now..."

Although Miguel stopped at the doorway, he raised his voice so that Tex could still hear as he was pulled back down the path they'd come.

"...think anybody knew that trains were gonna be faster than planes by 2050, but then again..."

Tex eventually stopped hearing Miguel's voice, although he was unsure if it was because Miguel had stopped talking or they'd simply gotten too far apart.

Barton and Tala caught up to them on the sidewalk about a block away. After making sure no one was in ear or eye shot, Tex pulled them into a little huddle.

"Can we go back?" asked Barton.

"I think I know who's causing the red spot." Tex said, ignoring her. "It's the--"

"Coma patient." Tala cut in. "Yeah, we know."

"What? How'd you know?"

"Who else would it be?" Junji asked.

"I checked the Pain Finder Thing while we were out walking." Tala added. "The red dot was still on in the hospital, so it really couldn't be anyone else."

Tex brought two fingers up to his chin.

"I still don't get why a coma patient would be hurting so bad." he muttered.

"She's probably conscious." Junji replied.

"...Jeez."

"One time, I read about this little kid who was semi-conscious in a coma." said Tala. "His parents always put on Barney the Dinosaur for him, but it turned out that he hated Barney and it was hell for him to have to listen so basically what I'm saying is that Barney has technically tortured a child before."

Tex's mind flashed back to what he'd learned about Dana, most notably who her parents were and that she wasn't getting better.

"What do y'all think we should do?" asked Tex.

"Easy." Barton replied. "We break in tonight, full gear, plant a micro-charge in one of the fuses. Then in a week, we blow the charge. If we do everything right, the power will go out and it'll just look like a fuse crapped out."

Tex scratched his head.

"Well," he started, "I mean..."

"What?" Barton pushed.

"Do we really gotta break in?"

"What else would we do?"

"We could explain the situation to Kenny."

Tex's idea was met with a round of boos and one of Tala's socks.

"What?" he asked. "We could show any of the pain radar, tell them what we do."

"You're betting that they would believe us." Junji replied. "You are also betting they're intelligent enough to understand, and that they'd care."

"Course they'd care."

Junji didn't look convinced. Neither did anyone else.

"What's he gonna do with the Pain Finder Thing?" Barton wondered. "Punch one of us in the gut to see if it works?"

"Look," Tex started, "I know we've seen a lotta wacky stuff, with torturers and attempted cannibal hippies and all that, but--"

"Junji's right. If we tell them, it's only gonna mean they'll know it was us when she dies. Which means jail."

Tex sighed in defeat. Jail meant no more mercy killing, so he supposed it was safer not to jeopardize themselves.

"Alright." he caved. "What's the plan?"

"Barton said we needed a microcharge." Junji replied.

Barton lifted her shirt above her head.

"This going somewhere?" asked Tex.

Barton reached into the hole in her shoulder and pulled something out of it. When she held it outright, Tex recognized it back from what little he remembered of his war days as a capsule containing a microcharge.

Barton lowered her shirt.

They ended up renting a Zipcar just so they could have a warm place to stay until one in the morning. After borrowing Tala's headphones, Tex curled up in a ball and took a nap in the front seat.

He just hoped that Dana's parents would consider a random power outage to be a natural death.

At one in the morning, Tex awoke to the sound of Barton's alarm and the realization that his shoes were on the wrong feet.

"Junji did it." Tala said when Tex began to eye her with suspicion.

"Junji's asleep." Tex replied.

Barton poked Junji's face.

"Hai, watashi no nekomimi wa shizendesu." Junji muttered.

Barton poked Junji's face again. Junji shook his head and opened his eyes.

"I was having a nice dream." he yawned as he stretched his arms.

"Good for you." Barton replied. "We ready to do this?"

Even though Tala had turned off all the cameras in and near the building, they'd parked a few blocks away to avoid being seen by any late-night joggers. The walk up to the hospital was more than a little dark. None of them wanted to risk getting spotted from using personal lights, so all they had was a distant street lamp to guide them.

Barton and Tala had lagged about half a block behind to discuss the mechanics of a microcharge in a low whisper. Tex walked next to Junji with a loaded mind.

Junji inhaled through his nose.

“You smell conflicted.” Junji quietly observed.

“Gross.”

“Is something bothering you?”

“Guess there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh.”

Tex rubbed his hand across the back of his head as he searched his mind for the least lame way to make his request.

“Being in a coma sounds like a nightmare to me, even if I weren’t conscious.” he started. “I don’t know how long you and me are gonna know each other…”

Junji gave Tex a little side glance when he trailed off.

“Look, I never want people seeing me after my mind goes.” Tex followed. “The second I get Alzheimer’s or--end up a vegetable, it’d mean a real lot to me if you put a couple bullets in my head.”

Junji let out a tiny hum. Tex’s anxiety began to reach critical levels.

“That is an…interesting solution.” Junji murmured.

“You got a better one?”

“Yes.”

“Hwat?”

Junji momentarily quickened his pace so that Tex could see the back of his head. He then gestured to a spot on the tip of his spine, right under the memory plate that Barton had installed.

“A few years back,” Junji started, “I had a tiny box installed in my brain stem that upon being fed the proper series of thought commands will activate a laser grid which will reduce me to cubic millimeters in less than a second."

Tex let out a tiny cough.

"Doesn't that--" he stammered. "Couldn't you trigger that by mistake?"

"No. The interface it projects into my mind's eye if I hint at initiation is quite foolproof to navigate."

"Huh, Netflix could learn a thing or two from that."

“Would you like me to get you one like mine?”

On one hand, Junji's idea was upsetting. On the other hand, Tex had seen some weird shit.

"Know what?" said Tex. "Sure.”

"Good. I would find that comforting.”

“Though you still gotta end me if I get Alzheimer's. I might forget that I wanted to die.”

“It would be my--owww."

Tex looked over and squinted to see that Junji had walked squarely into one of the bollard poles, which stood perfectly at crotch level.

"You okay?" Tex whispered with a wince.

"Oh, I'm fine." Junji shrugged.

"...Alright."

They arrived at the front of the building. Tex couldn't hear anything from the inside, which was definitely a good thing.

The only light source was a faint glow that lofted out from one of the clinic’s windows.

"What do we do now?" he asked Barton once she’d caught up.

"We figure out where the fuse box is." Barton replied.

Tex glanced at the building. He saw nothing to indicate the location of the fuse box, and was unsure why he even thought looking at the outside of the building might have led him somewhere in the first place.

"Do anyone remember seeing the fuse box?" Tex wondered.

"No." Tala replied.

"I wasn't looking for it." Barton said.

Tex took off his glasses and huffed his sigh of disapproval at the lenses so he could wipe them down.

"Was there a reason we didn't talk about this in the car?" asked Junji.

"I'll just break in and find it." Barton suggested.

"Perhaps I should do it."

Tex jumped when a bright light hit him in the eyes.

"Perhaps he should do what?" a familiar voice asked.

Face white, Tex rubbed his eyes to see Kenny standing about ten feet away from them with a double barrel shotgun pointed between Barton and Junji. The shotgun had a lit flashlight taped to the barrel, which Tex did his best not to look directly at again.

It was a tad shocking to see Kenny's face without a smile.

"Ah, shit." Tex muttered as he put his hands up along with everyone else.

"I asked you a question." Kenny pushed.

If Tex had to guess, he'd say that Kenny'd had some training with a gun but not a lot. Tex knew he probably had the speed to whip out his pistol and shoot first, although he hoped it didn't have to come to it.

"What should we do?" Barton asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"What else can we do?" Tex replied. "We gotta tell him."

Barton let out her own sigh of defeat.

"Guess you're right." she said.

"Tell me what?" asked Kenny.

Tex cleared his throat. He winced the barrel of the gun was pointed straight at him.

"We got reason to believe that Dana's conscious." he explained. "In her coma."

"She can still think and hear." Junji added. "It's torturous for her, as it would be."

Kenny's eyebrows scrunched together so dramatically that they nearly touched.

"How could you possibly know that?" he asked.

"We're vigilantes." Tex replied. "We have a--a radar that tells us when people are in pain."

Two clicks rang out as Kenny pumped the shotgun.

"We can prove it." Barton said roughly.

Barton's words seemed to have the best effect on Kenny. He didn't put the gun down, but his brow started to unfurl, ever so slightly.

"How?" Kenny asked.

"Give him the thing." Barton hissed at Tex.

"Tala's got the thing." Tex replied.

"I have to put my hands down to grab the thing." said Tala. "Is that alright?"

Kenny's eyes darted between Tala and Barton.

"No sudden movements." he replied.

Tala was dead slow as she took off her backpack and pulled out the Pain Finder Thing. She placed it on the ground and kicked it over to Kenny with her foot.

Kenny kept his gun pointed at Tex as he bent over to pick it up.

"It's a--map." Kenny stated.

"The red dots represent discomfort." Junji explained.

Although the screen was pointed away from Tex, he could tell that Kenny was messing with it.

"Lot of red in North Korea." Kenny muttered.

"Zoom in on our location." Tex suggested.

"Fun fact." Tala announced. "North Korea and South Korea actually average out into Mexico."

Kenny touched the screen with two fingers and drifted them away from each other.

"There's a tiny pink dot where you guys are standing..." he noted.

"Who's uncomfortable?" asked Tex.

"I have to pee." Junji replied.

"And there's a massive dot inside the hospital." Kenny finished.

As he spoke, Kenny's face twisted with conflict. He dropped the pain radar on the ground with a little clunk. Keeping the gun pointed at them, he grabbed a ring of keys from his pocket.

Tex winced when Kenny jabbed himself in the side with a key.

"Fuck." Kenny swore.

It became more apparent for Tex what was going on when Kenny picked the pain radar back up from the ground and examined it with care.

Kenny darted his eyes between the screen and Tex's face.

"Where the hell did you get this thing?" Kenny asked.

"We found it behind a dumpster at McDonald's." answered Tala.

"What?" Tex choked. "Why would you tell him that?"

"You said we should tell the truth."

"How does it work?" Kenny pushed.

Tex exchanged a glance with Barton.

"We don't really know." Barton replied.

"We suspect it detects chemical compounds that make up discomfort." said Junji.

Kenny's face twisted with a strange mixture of understanding and disbelief.

"So you guys go around and end--torment?" he asked.

"Yes." Junji replied.

"Do you get paid? How do you support yourselves?"

"We live on an co--"

"It's a fellowship." Tex hissed. "We live on a fellowship."

"Sometimes we fight goblins and kiss each other." Tala replied.

Kenny rubbed his hand over his chin. Over the half minute that followed, his gaze darted between the pain radar and Barton.

"I--" he started. "I guess that makes sense. In a nonsensical sort of way."

The tip of Kenny's gun was lowered into the dirt. Tex breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his hands along with everyone else.

"How about you all come inside?" Kenny suggested.

They came inside.

Kenny locked his shot gun in a safe under the front desk when they entered, although he held on to the Pain Finder Thing. He motioned for them to be quiet as they walked into the dark ward.

After they'd all taken a stand by Dana's bed, Tex caught on to Kenny's plan.

Kenny reached out and nudged Dana with his hand. He seemed to be in a state of disbelief with what he was doing, but he did it anyway.

"Dana?" he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

Tex was tall enough to view the screen of the pain radar from his position behind Kenny, which he did.

The dark red spot didn't shift.

"She might not be awake right now." Tala muttered. "Or she might be in pain for some other reason."

"Dana, do you want to die?" asked Kenny.

Slowly, the red spot lightened into pink. Kenny let out a tiny 'huh'.

Tex's heart pumped twelve painful times before Kenny said anything.

"Even if this is all just a big coincidence," Kenny started, the words slow, "I never saw the point in keeping Dana alive anyway. If I had any reason to think she was in pain, I'd pull the plug."

"So you'll help us?" Tex replied.

"I'll blow a fuse in a couple of days. It'll look like an accident."

For just a moment, the red spot blinked almost completely out of existence. Tex felt a hot flash of satisfaction.

Tala was handed the Pain Finder Thing back, which she put in her bag. Junji was allowed access to the bathroom.

They all left the ward to avoid waking the children up.

“So you all really just go around and--stop pain?” Kenny asked Tex.

“Well, we usually go after tetragrammers.”

“What’s a tetragrammer?”

Kenny’s eyes were wide as he asked his question. Tex felt himself wince.

“It’s a--” Tex replied. “It’s just a cult thing.”

“Ah.”

Kenny said goodbye to Tala and then Junji. When he got to Barton, Tex could see a flicker of sadness behind his eyes.

"Well, this was weird." Kenny said to her.

"Yup." Barton replied.

"Still, it was really great meeting you. I wish you could've stayed longer."

"Yeah, me too."

"You know what? I want you to have this."

Kenny took off his newsboy cap and handed it to Barton. Barton took it with careful hands.

"You just can't be black and bald and over forty without a newsboy cap." Kenny followed.

"God, that's so true." Barton said as she slipped the cap on her head.

It fit her perfectly.

After sending them off with some barbecued ribs, Kenny bid them goodbye so he could go to bed. Tex returned their car while Barton booked tickets for the next train ride out, and they were back in Seattle before three in the morning.

"I'm never going to stop wearing this hat." Barton said as they parted ways with her.

The bus ride to the complex was short but sleepy. Tex alternated between thinking about the strange and intense incidents of the day and his bed. The thought passed his mind that he'd forgotten to lay down a round of 'I told you so's regarding Kenny's actions, but he eventually realized it was a good thing, as he could feel like a better person for accidentally taking the high road.

"Hey, thanks for your suggestion." he said to Junji.

The bus wasn't particularly crowded, so Tex felt comfortable talking.

"Suggestion?" Junji asked.

"Yeah. Investigating something other than a tetragram."

"Oh. Yes, I had a--nice time."

"And Dana's gonna be having a nicer time when she ain't living in hell no more."

"Well..."

Tex turned towards Junji to see his gaze was fixed out the window and into the street.

"What?" asked Tex.

"It's nothing." Junji replied.

"What? Tell me."

"There is also the possibility that her parents were right, and we've sent her to the real hell."

"...You're not saying you think we did that, are you?"

"No, I was just implying we couldn't rule it out as a possibility."

Tex said nothing.

"I was being overly technical." Junji followed. "Forget I said something."

Tex didn't forget Junji said something.