Well, there she was. Madoka Kaname, the hero you’d all been waiting for. Savior of the waking world. Well, the waking Caribbean Sea. She was sobered up and ready to beat up a bunch of anthropomorphic hooligans.

“Boo! Bring back Kyoko!” One guy in the back of the audience shouted. “It was later when she was the only protagonist!”

“Hey! I’m totally the protagonist,” Madoka whined. “My name’s in the friggin’ title. Well, not this one, but all the other ones.”

Don’t argue with the readers, Madoka. We have few enough readers left as it is. After that Neoakemi interlude I think we scared off anyone away who was looking for fun and easy laughs instead of 15,000-word long setups to a single punchline. Take it easy.

“Fine...”

Anyway, Sheriff Kaname had successfully infiltrated this city and completed the first phase of her cunningly-devised plan to take down the Furries’ newest stronghold. Now just a block away from Red Square, and almost in place for her ultimate attack.

The Furries, too busy with executions and general fascist terror since they took Tempoal over a short time ago, had left a gaping hole in their defenses-- they didn’t see Madoka coming.

Okay so now... she was all set. A show trial for some political prisoners was currently taking place and Madoka wanted to blow this popsicle stand (actually a city, not a popsicle stand at all) before anyone else got hurt.

She summoned her soul gem and whispered into it, “I‘m set, Sayaka. How are you doing?”

***

“I’m doin--” Sayaka took a shot of the good Mexican shit. “--just dandy.”

“You sure sounded like you were drinking something,” Madoka said.

“Nah, that’s just radio interference.”

“Okay then, Madoka out.”

Remember when Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica came out and everyone was a bit weirded by the subplot where Madoka had an alcohol problem that was only briefly foreshadowed and will probably only be sparsely mentioned from here on out? Sayaka sure didn’t, thanks to one particularly-exciting post-pregnancy bender and a few too many forget-me-nows.

Maybe she should have become the protagonist.

Sayaka realized she had completely forgotten what her purpose in Madoka's probably-deviously-complex plan was supposed to be. But if she asked now, Madoka’d know about her indiscretions in imbibing certain substances on the job and probably get fired from the Magical Girl Squad. She totally did not deserve that maybe.

So she was just gonna improvise when the moment came.

“Hey yo, I’m in position I think,” Sayaka said over the soul gem radio.

“You think?” Madoka asked incredulously.

“I am absolutely certain.”

“Uh, okay. Crispina?”

***

“I’m here, obviously,” Crispina said.

Here being inside Tempoal, near the shield generator station erected at the center of the city. It was the hallmark of any furry takeover, to block against nearly all attacks from the outside by shielding the entire thing, but it also prevented reinforcements from getting in except through the bridge (the same one they each snuck through just a couple hours earlier).

Crispina, dispensing with none of the shenanigans that had beset her two mission comrades, hid behind a conveniently-placed barrel and waited as she watched the furry guards patrolling the perimeter around the station.

She was ready as soon as the other two were.

That is, if they didn’t mess anything up.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Crispina said.

***

Madoka looked down at the crowd of onlookers and smiled.

It was time to be a hero again.

(No mecha fights yet, but be patient!)

“Let’s do this!”

She jumped, guns ablazing.