It was now just two days before the wedding. Kyoko sat on a couch, bored watching TV. She was the only resident in her entire fort, so when there were no guests, it was very dull. Nothing really was on the TV this afternoon, and it was too early to go to bed. It's too bad Kyoko couldn't make it to any of the bridesmaid activities with Sayaka and Kyosuke and all the others; the hijinks that were taking place out there were probably baffling yet hilarious. The fat girl probably had all the best lines though, so Kyoko would have been severely outshined.

Silence of the Lambs was the movie on her small television screen currently. Right now it was at that hilarious part with the girl and the guy saying the cooky stuff about the lotion and hose and all that jazz. She burst out laughing. Oh, what a comedic genius the writer of this movie was. But... Kyoko had seen it a million times, so she flipped the channel, hoping to find something new instead.

Oh, look, it was... Hannibal. That new show. Ugh, it sucked. What about the hunky Anthony Hopkins? Nope, nowhere to be seen. Just a dorky way-too-serious show that completely destroys the humor of the original. Like the Teen Wolf show. Just... No. Don't ever let Kyoko get started on these types of shows. She can go on for pages about them. Oh wait, she already was getting started on them.

Luckily for the entire reading audience, another figure appeared in the room, almost out of nowhere. Just like Kyubey would... Except... OH NO! IT WAS- Yeah it was Kyubey. Seriously, who did you even expect?

“Why, Kyubey?” Kyoko asked. “I'm just trying to suppress my emotions by watching mundane visual entertainment... Barging in like this is way past lame.”

Kyubey blinked. That was rare. “Can a decent incubator not just drop by to say hello to one of his magical girl employees without being called out on it?”

“No, because you totally have an ulterior motive.”

“Hmm...” Kyubey paced a little before turning back to face her. “Not really. I just wanted to check up on you, see how you were getting along. I haven't spoken to you since--”

“Since the incident, yes I know. I'm doing fine here in Mexico, thank you very much. I like having a whole big fort to myself, nobody to bother me because the nearest settlement is eleven miles away...”

“Well, that's all good, but there is something I would like to ask.”

Kyoko rolled her eyes. “Of course there is.”

“Oh no, it's a simple question.”

“Then ask it already.”

The little demon cat stared intently into her eyes now. “Do you really think Homura's plan is going to work?”

“Um, well...”

“Her vagueness, the ridiculousness of her scheme... It's just far-fetched enough that it could hypothetically work, but you know you have some serious doubts about it. Which is certainly reasonable.”

“Well yeah, Homura isn't exactly the most forthcoming person in the world. Actually, she might be the least forthcoming person in the world. Let me look that up.” Kyoko pulled out her smartphone and googled it. “Looks like number one's still Gendo Ikari. But she's in the top five, okay. I still trust her.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Well, I-”

“Listen, Kyoko,” Kyubey blinked again. Now he turned around and stared out the window which provided a scenic view of miles of barren desert. His reflection still stared at her. “I'm here to convince you to abandon this foolish plan, for your own sake and the sake of everyone else.”

“Sake? I'm not legally allowed to drink, Kyubey. I don't want to get in trouble.”

“It's always about food with you, girl, isn't it?”

“That was a drink I was talking about, not food.”

Kyubey ignored her smartassyness, and blinked again. “One day you're going to grow up to be a beautiful witch and the energy you will provide to the universe will be very helpful. That day you will understand why Homura's wedding can't happen.”

“You know I'm not going to listen to you, despite any amount of truth you are giving me. Why bother?”

“Because this is the approximate midpoint of the plot, and you have to be reaffirmed of the main conflict as I do a “Last Temptation” thing since you are the protagonist of the story.”

“Wait, I'm the protagonist????”

“More or less. The point of view character, at least. If I did this to anyone else the readers wouldn't be able to see it solely on the basis of you not being there.”

“What if I was there?”

“Then I couldn't do the “Last Temptation” thing! It doesn't work that way, Ms. Sakura.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“So.. This is the midpoint of the plot, huh. Does that mean there's going to be seven chapters?”

“Pretty much.”

“Yep, unless there's a dramatic twist during Chapter 6 that alters our perspective on the whole story and makes what we thought was the climax actually merely the 2/3 point. What a surprise that would be.”

“Oh thanks for the spoilers. Now I'm triggered.”

“Sorry, I'll tag it next time. #spoilers”

“Thanks.”

“Snape kills Dumbledore. #spoilers”

“Dammit Kyubey I was only on Goblet of Fire.”

“Kyoko, it's not even funny to make these kinds of jokes anymore. The movie series ended over two years ago, so nobody even has an excuse for not finishing anymore.”

“You still triggered me.”

Kyubey blinked. It wasn't very rare anymore, apparently. “I tagged it, though.”

“Go away, cat ferret monster.” And so he did. Kyoko looked back at the TV and saw Hannibal Lecter eating some guy's brain. Hahahahaha, oh Hannibal. For some reason, she really craved chicken now.